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Sharing Ideas - Billy - 08-16-2014

I am Billy.  I am going to share ideas.  By REASON I have relatively mastered dedatchment.  Ayn Rand on in REASON in "Objectivism" (by Peikoff) was helpful for early clarity.  This clarity via Carlos Castaneda provided a way to unlearn social conditioning.  I went to all the good places including nirvana.  I 'willingly' went to all the horrid places in this order--despair--dark night of soul--emptiness.  The proper platform to live is emptiness.  This is the place beyond polarization AND flyers.  I describe how the world is caught in 'oughtness.'  When discussing as here we are saying what ought and ought not.  It is important to understand Don Juan Matus controlled folly.  WE PRETEND HERE!    Yet example, using Einsteins observations of elements being both particles and waves we have a fuller explanation of phenomenon.  This is why the dialogue is not polarity.

Here is the starting point.  Not only do you have to reach emptiness so that ought and 'ought not' are meaningless, but that is IS at all is also meaningless, and I mean in this way>   IT NEVER HAD TO BE!  It IS, but has no neccesity. 
  If you want to 'learn' you can ask me questions.   YES I have a big ego (but even greater awareness that I PLAY-- I keep this sharp by 'exercising shame' in privacy> a tendency to isolation and imitating negation.)  I can explain how to free your stores of energy.  It really is amazing what I have to share that is doable.

Sharing Ideas - Mornings Son - 08-17-2014

Hey billy. Welcome here ))))

Please make a another post where you explain 'how to free stores of energy'. It sounds like a good knowledge.

thanks

Sharing Ideas - Billy - 08-17-2014

Mornings Son wrote:Hey billy. Welcome here ))))

Please make a another post where you explain 'how to free stores of energy'. It sounds like a good knowledge.
thanks

Thank you Morning Sun-- First, my great respect to Castaneda.  I learned so much there.

I think you can gather from Castaneda (real or not) that the sorcerer obtains to being empty. Yes?
 
I had late marital 'crisis' in life and had to write for sanity alone.  What happened was that I recapitulated my life purely unintentionally.  Going back, I rediscovered childhood shame--not something people like to PLAY with.  It was cahthartic, but because I like to penetrate, I wanted to relive the shame.  It was wicked, because I gave up detachment.  I messed with SELF-destruct with capital S-E-L-F or the essential being.  I got 'visits' from emptiness.  THIS IS what you NEED (the empirical experience of emptiness).  REASON tells you that to go to this darkest (yet 'lightest') place puts all else including death in a NEW perspective.  1) there is no longer a personal 'center' and the emotions run wildly (two weeks for me).  2) there is 'nothing' to confront, so an underlayment of peace permeates immediately AND FOREVER  3) a purpose has no sense whatsoever, so you draw ONLY to the underlayment of peace  4) there is still a challenge of detachment, but this takes on a different light.  When you detach, you no longer detach from this emotion or that one, so much as see complete detachment from ALL at large 5) death is very amiable at this point--OMG I find it is welcome.  One thing about me, is I am totally real.  I have always said two things to myself.  Nothing changes!  AND I absolutely consider myself a 'phony ****.' 

   That said-- the emptiness can be accessed.  I am currently submitting to agents a book on this.  I am not certain mine is the only way to emptiness, but it is one that I rationally set forth. 

ANSWER to QUESTION:  Get to emptiness and there is no need to be anything but the **** you always were and will be--GET THIS--YOU DON'T CHANGE. EMPTINESS is the fount of endless energy.  THAT is how you free stores of energy.
 
If you are here on this site you are probably ready for what I offer you.  But just a few notes.  Don't seek.  When you create space by words, don't read tons-- read a bit of words that expand.  Castaneda's Wheel of Time is good for that.  NOW-- if going my direction......

  I recommend using 'shame in privacy' to attract the phenomenon of emptiness.  1) Shame is good because it has an actual biological capacity in the orbitofrontal cortex of the brain.  2) When you exercise your shame it has physiological effects--there is adrenal and other chemical activity that gets activated.  (You get a rush if you let go) 3) Shame has a built in capacity to protect you-- you cannot go 'too far.'  4)  shame is directly evolutionarily born out of sex and sexual denial (It is very SEXY)-- You will tend to use the adrenal rushes at times with masturbation-- this tends to take you further into your shame, which is VERY GOOD {Emptiness is closing in}.   

   Shame is a biological tool that reflects as the premier self-conscious emotion--It does things no other emotion can.  (I expand in my book.)  Bottom line is, that to evoke enough shame to get the cycle that takes you deeper down into your 'soul', you have to obtain to becoming worthless in the time and setting of shame's practice.  You can't pull punches.  Find what pushes your buttons and GO.  I pretended that my wife was fucking other men, I pretened that females liked to piss and **** on me, I told myself that I was fucking loser-- it does not matter > JUST TRUST TO ANNIHILATE YOURSELF.

You will thank me just for the intensity of orgasms (you have never had orgasms like this before.)  But, it is the freedom of energy when shame ultimately takes you to the emptiness.  THAT'S what I am talking about.

NONE of this is conjecture--it is based on solid principles of reason.  I'll stick around to answer questions.  I was lucky to have had two people with high awareness in my life.  They shared with me.  I am sharing with you.

PLEASE ask ANY ANY questions-- Nothing is likely too personal or off limits.

Sharing Ideas - Billy - 08-17-2014

I apologize Morning Son, calling you Morning Sun.  Is there a way to edit a post?

Sharing Ideas - Billy - 08-18-2014

Quantumshaman relates Castaneda's flyers into psychological terms.  I like Castaneda because he makes such into concretes; that's the beauty.  You can objectify much easier a flyer than jargon. 

To get rid of the flyers is no more than to get rid of self-importance or image identity.  You are going in circles because you won't face THAT.

   Be honest.  Were you taken aback by my occupation with shame?    SEE.   You are not getting beyond self-importance.  At first you may not believe me, but I am probably the first real person to tell you what's up.
I never blogged before (except a basketball forum).  I am empty of the images you still identify with.  I am free.  I cannot give you a wrong answer because I have integrity.  You will be very wise to listen to me about using shame as a tool to rid your self-importance.  You are afraid because you are afraid of yourself.  Don't you know that?

  I am NOT afraid of myself. 
   I don't care if it is just one person.  Do you want to quit the stupid games you are doing?  You have a vague idea and that's all, and no authenticity.

Sharing Ideas - Littlepaw - 08-18-2014

speaking of people with no authenticity HI! : )

Oh Billy you have struck a chord with me because unlike you I am afraid of myself! I do happen to think that a little fear is more than healthy.

I read in an article by Theun Mares that '' the “foreign installations”, the so-called “fliers”, have no place in any Toltec lineage. ''

Perhaps Billy you may be able to enlighten me since you are Free already (i'm free next Tuesday, all day!) What the Flyers really are? What Theun means about them having no place in any Toltec lineage? and how a person with no experience of flyers (moi) could begin to make some kind of sense of the relationships they have to us all in a practical sense?

Welcome to the Forum and I appreciate your time, comments and considerations,

Kind Regards,

Littlepaw

Sharing Ideas - serloco - 08-19-2014

I had read all of Carlos' books, and then heard someone speak of fliers, long ago, and never sought to explore them. I denounced them completely seeing that these forms of knowledge and awareness merely create the forms you accept as being reality. I have seen different dimensions in which the teachings of carlos castaneda change with each dimension.

I see that self-importance can be a true enemy in this regard. When I first gained great power and awareness I valued it as being very important, valuable and naturally thought that many being would also want this power and knowledge I had within me. Then i saw many beings seeking me out and trying to attain my great power and ability by any means that they could muster. I suspended my greatness then and saw that everyone else was just as great as I, and they could also see my power and understand it because they could also see my importance and formed to that design as well. When i saw this they stopped seeking me out as being important and needing my awareness for themselves. I was no longer greater then everyone else in that world and they had no need to trap me and keep me, nor to steal from me my power. "all is equal and full to the brim"-don Juan.

Later I saw that there was much power in controlling other people's awareness and perception, harnessing their intent and will to support and sustain my own will and position. This awareness and knowledge spread in the world and other's began doing the same as myself, spreading their own agendas and collecting the power of other's to align to their own design. IOB's dressed as shadows began flying through the air and connecting to them directly and injecting their forms of consciousness into them. I managed to pick up a whole team of them inside of myself who began possessing me. A few times I formed an energy impulse to shoot them out of me as a gun shoots and watched them fly out of me many times and scurry through the air around me in various directions, seeking to re-enter into me. I began to see that i could counter act their injections with my own attention and intent, and would shoot them with my impulses, to weaken them in many ways. They were using my power for themselves and so when they projected something into me it would activate just as my own awareness does when i use it. I saw that I did not need to apply my power to them and formed the knowledge inside of myself that their energies do not manifest whereas mine do. They began becoming weaker, and I then focused my impulses into the form that intends their streams of consciousness to become weaker, quieter, and less and less untill they become unheard. I can even remove the knowledge within their streams so that when they project into me it is as an empty stream, no longer containing the information that was held within it.

Later i gained the knowledge that it is better to detach form other's power, intent and will, knowledge and awareness in order to support only my own. In this way I can be the strongest in the world, all on my own, and need not the will of other's to support me. In the face of total opposition I can succeed regardless of every pther being against me. Even if they are all against me, fighting me, and trying to pin me down. I no longer place the power in the group but in my self, and see that i had placed the power of group tp be stronger then the individual and thus reset my power and choice within me alone. Detachment is key.

So now I see that my own awareness and knowledge of the fliers forms them, and gives them any power that they have. It is my own responsibility to claim and to set this power. I now have flier friends and allies, that i can form to various different positions. For the beings that 'need' my power and awareness I give it to them freely so long as it is worthy, and I share my self with them accordingly. However when I judge one of them as being an ****, or evil then i shall reap the seeds of my own awareness and knowledge. Awareness forms reality. Yes some beings need awareness surely, and without your awareness they do not attain form, and yet they are picky about the forms you give them, yet they will form to whatever way you project, or align, into your perception and awareness. IOB's can form to any way, and so if you judge them as being this way then they become that way etc, and the only thing they trully need is your awareness. Form them in positive light and give them helpful positive forms of awareness. Believe it or not the sorcerer needs them just as much as they need us, because they form to our intent and will, our awareness and knowledge, and that is great, it is dark energy, and without it their would be no form, no reality, no freedom, but with this freedom we may form from them any world we can achieve. Any state of being, for ourselves and for them. Reap what you sow, and sow only the best seeds. Their is a solution to every problem and even the fliers can see them clearly and offer to you great solutions, however you must first suspend the negative awareness and see them in this light. To them it is merely another form of many, and that is all they need. Remember intent in its raw state is indifferent and many be formed to any stae because of this, friend or foe. Being indifferent means that either one dies not really matter.

Sharing Ideas - serloco - 08-19-2014

What is better for you having a flier, or iob form into an angel that turns your music into incredible perceptions beyond this world, or a flier that seeks to control you and needs you and then you fight them and try to give them nothing, creating a war? Either way, you can give them power and ability that you want to give them, but if you think for a second that it is not enough and they want more then watch as they seek more from you,. Either way it is your form that you are manifesting into being, from your own self-importance and judgements. You are the fuel that they need, and thus you regulate it, form it to the fuel they receive. When you form positive awareness, you create positive fuel for them and they move then into that formation, but when you think you are so greater then them, better then them, have more then them, and you say they want it too, then that is the fuel you give them. It is self-awareness that one needs, to see and observe the energy forms you are aligning to reality in your AP. When you see this you can see it form and know that you are forming it.

Sharing Ideas - Billy - 08-19-2014

Littlepaw, thank you---I WAS being arrogantly obnoxious. (smile)   Regarding Castaneda anything, I do not care to examine if it is real or not.  I used Castaneda to break the conventional identity thought process.  I can't help what I know regarding having gained detachment.  (but I can share those ideas)

Serloco, OMG I promise you I am going to give thought to your reply that is so parallel.  I will give you some fantastic clarity later this afternoon or evening.

Sharing Ideas - Billy - 08-19-2014

serloco             I HAVE SERLOCO'S COMMENTS IN ITALICS wrote:
Later I saw that there was much power in controlling other people's awareness and perception, harnessing their intent and will to support and sustain my own will and position. 

HERE I SIMPLY UNDERSTAND THE EVOLUTION OF EMOTIONS. THEY ALL DERIVE FROM ATTRACTION, AROUSAL AND APPROACH (SEX). SHAME IS THE SELF CONSCIOUS EMOTION OF EXCEPTION> ATTRACTION, AROUSAL AND WITHDRAWAL.  (This is because organisms choose survival now over procreation because for example the dominant ape threat---if they approached a female, the dominant would kill them-- this is the root manifestation for human shame)  The reason this is important to understand is that all emotions have relation to limited objects in the world, EXCEPT SHAME.  (Example angry is angry at something, jealous is is jealous of something, etc. Shame can be of a limited nature also.)  BUT--SHAME CAN BE REMOVAL OF ONESELF INTO ISOLATION FROM THE WORLD AT LARGE.  WHEN YOU DETACH YOU DETACH FROM SOMETHING> IN SHAME'S CASE IF YOU LEARN WHAT I TELL YOU, YOU CAN DETACH FROM THE WHOLE WORLD. 
Later i gained the knowledge that it is better to detach form other's power, intent and will, knowledge and awareness in order to support only my own. 

  THE FOUNDATION FOR THIS IS THE ISOLATION THAT SHAME AFFORDS--IT IS VERY PRACTICAL LITTLEPAW. 

In this way I can be the strongest in the world, all on my own, and need not the will of other's to support me. I no longer place the power in the group but in my self, Detachment is key. 
EXACTLY
So now I see that my own awareness and knowledge of the fliers forms them, and gives them any power that they have. It is my own responsibility to claim and to set this power.  

THIS IS WHERE CONTROLLED FOLLY COMES IN.   I DON'T GIVE UP CONVENTIONAL IDENTITIES (and cannot)  BUT--they are the PRETENDING I DO--  I PLAY******   AND in return, the energy of even the wicked ****, is mine if I engage DETACHMENT 
I now have flier friends and allies, that i can form to various different positions. For the beings that 'need' my power and awareness I give it to them freely so long as it is worthy, and I share my self with them accordingly. However when I judge one of them as being an ****, or evil then i shall reap the seeds of my own awareness and knowledge.
Believe it or not the sorcerer needs them just as much as they need us, because they form to our intent and will, our awareness and knowledge, and that is great, it is dark energy, and without it their would be no form, no reality, no freedom, but with this freedom we may form from them any world we can achieve. Any state of being, for ourselves and for them.

(SAME COMMENT AS ABOVE)
Reap what you sow, and sow only the best seeds. Their is a solution to every problem and even the fliers can see them clearly and offer to you great solutions, however you must first suspend the negative awareness and see them in this light. To them it is merely another form of many, and that is all they need. Remember intent in its raw state is indifferent and many be formed to any state. 

(THIS IS ONE STEP TOO MANY---YOU ARE PLAYING WITH ENERGY AND POWER IN AN UNSUSTAINABLE WAY.)
LOOK, I HAVE HAD A LIFETIME THAT IS NOT ORDINARY, BUT I think the principles will apply to you equally.  SHAME IS A VERY UNIQUE MEDIUM for what I postulate.  IT IS the natural emotion INWARD Serloco.  It can encompass ALL.   The way I help this---- is undersatnding what I said in a previous post,  REALITY does not have a rational necessity--you need to grasp this and go with this into SHAME.  WHY???   Because you will take a primal trip into the negation of your being if you go deep--what I call the experience of emptiness.  
NOW, detachment has a whole new impetus.  WHAT the *** can you detach from except for the entire concept of being (or not being)?  Objects will never have the same clout--YOU KNOW THIS!!!  (by reason, yes *** BUT NOW BY EMPIRICAL KNOWLEDGE TOO!

I liken this to nuclear fission, whereby an atom that splits is simple decay; but, when harnessed a certain way becomes atomic energy.  SHAME HAS THAT POTENTIAL.  IT IS SAFE.  IT CAN BE PRIVATE---but if you are married you can begin taking the authenticity that is the natural result into your personal sex.   OMfucking GOD.  A game changer for certain. 

Okay, now some questions.  AND THANK YOU!!!!!!!

Sharing Ideas - Billy - 08-19-2014

One thing I need to stress is how straight up I am.  I have had what in private would be considered an 'undesirable state of affairs.'  I have believed for a long time that you get beyond conditions.  They do work out--but one absolutely needs to take attention away from concern for results. Really.

Sharing Ideas - Xlyer - 08-20-2014

I agree detachment is key. Its the ends to your means that irks me a bit.
Im all for shame and feeling like a iron fortress of self.(For me anyway)We all burn, and yet its the fact that a feeling you say leads to a lack of feeling.
That I 'feel' is the problem.
Im so full of shame you could probably relate.But think. Would you feel shame if pride wasnt an issue in the first place?

Sharing Ideas - Billy - 08-20-2014

I can't help monopolizing a little.  Serloco--explaining about 'unsustainable', what I SEE is your initiative in these matters of energy.  When you start having access to energy that is 220 on a 110 line, you find all there is to do is acquisce to what comes your way.  The shame angle and the emptiness is very recent.  What is a nice characteristic of the two, is that there is no going OUT.  Everything comes to you---this is the way you dream it up.  You feel presence first and foremost very often, and you wait.  This is not practice; this is a result.

I'll go back just before shame and emptiness 2 years ago.  I really was mastering detachment already.  A story: Marriage was being tested, and one day my instincts had me look for dissolution of marriage papers that were signed and ready to go to the courthouse from months earlier.  They weren't where I put them.  I look and see my wife has them in hand, and she is taking them to an attorney. (25 years married and a dozen years before that together)  I am feeling rejected and yes afraid littlepaw.  That night I have an existential nightmare-- my subconscious condemns me with a single word "LOSER".  The next morning I am shook and in crisis.  Not only do I feel the rejection of my wife, but I feel the rejection by my 'essential' SELF.  I have no clue.  I know I need detachment more than ever in my life at this point, and when I try to focus, knowing that the representative descriptor is REJECTION, I am getting adrenalin flooding my mind and body.  I had to talk to myself about my practice in the past; tell myself that it worked.  In the end, I had that moment of absorbing the REJECTION inward into everything that was ever possibly 'me'.  In a single moment I turned that--- I became 'superman of peace and serenity'. It really was profound even to myself.  The dynamics of relating to my wife was that she was no longer a threat no matter what she did-- it changed things immediately and I attracted her.

Now I have story after story after story of satori, awakening, nirvana, bizarre intersection with fate, and even one out of body experience.  It all breaks down to objectivity and then detachment. 

Why I am hot to tell you this, is because I knew immediately I had uncovered and objectified a technique by going back into boyhood shame.  Most people would be glad to hide what I was exposing to myself, (and then writing a book, would seem insane--it was not a pretty picture of myself.  But I was way past that point anyway.  I only ever want the truth.  I will sell and did sell my soul in vernacular.  Emptiness was kind of horrid and unrelenting-- and had VERY CLOSE ties to a sense of morbid death.  You KNOW that existentially you have met the bottom.  Figure for yourself how freeing this becomes.
  I don't have a 'real self' like other people.  If I talk to you, I know you have image and reputation.  l have no such thing.  I wear identities okay, but am aware in the very same moment.  I have NOTHING to defend.  I  will die like you, and it does not really matter if you listen to me or not.  We both die.  NOW, I AM FREE--- I have a heart with laughter, the sadness in my life is rich with joy.  I know you want THAT. 
  How few will ever have that chance.  This site made sense.

Flyers---OH Castaneda, how simpleton.  Serloco, you have to use reason and logic, but then the actual experience  (whatever that is) has to supersede.  Do yo want to be discussing shamanism in the same vein ten years from now?  Authenticity is that you are finally complete-- NOT TOMORROW.  

Look, if I outlive my welcome here, someone tell me.  I am trying to find an agent for my book.  Maybe even before that gets done, I might send someone here the complete book in a pdf attachment.  No, I'm not hawking my book.  I do apologize for austentation.  Still, there is NOTHING right now that doesn't have clarity.  I JUST KNOW--Excuse me.

Sharing Ideas - Billy - 08-20-2014

Xlyer wrote:I agree detachment is key. Its the ends to your means that irks me a bit.
Im all for shame and feeling like a iron fortress of self.(For me anyway)
We all burn, and yet its the fact that a feeling you say leads to a lack of feeling.
That I 'feel' is the problem.
Im so full of shame you could probably relate.
But think. Would you feel shame if pride wasnt an issue in the first place?

Who are you? Please?  Please tell me a little something.

Sharing Ideas - Billy - 08-20-2014

Xlyer wrote:I agree detachment is key. Its the ends to your means that irks me a bit.  ENDS to my MEANS? Please expand.
Im all for shame and feeling like a iron fortress of self.(For me anyway)  Phenomenologically shame is the awareness of singularity--YOU cannot belong to a plurality. No one can.  Now that is the thing about shame.  It has such a dominating physiological presence in many people.  SHAME takes over when you let it--and I am asking you to risk doing that 'willingly or/and objectively for the very purpose of DESTROYING THAT FORTRESS.  THIS IS ABOUT DEEP SELF-TRUST.  If you don't want that relationship with yourself (trust) what is there to make you whole and authentic?
We all burn, and yet its the fact that a feeling you say leads to a lack of feeling.  THIS is the irony, the emptiness by and large destroys meaning and selfhood, but you CAN NEVER FEEL more deeply YOURSELF.
I don't go out of my way to NOT feel-----OMG THAT IS WHERE IT'S AT.  I feel more pain, more coming out of my skin, MORE MORE MORE.  AND it TASTES DELICIOUS, even the ****.
That I 'feel' is the problem.
Im so full of shame you could probably relate.  Xlyer, I had the fortune of two natural 'teachers' in my life.  I want you to understand this immediately.  If something I say does not reflect a truth you understand yourself empirically in heart, reason, and feeling I want you to say so IMMEDIATELY, so I can clarify.  At any point this is not the case you are to RUN the other direction until you do understand.  It is real I can't tell you something that is not true, but that doesn't mean it connects.  THERE CAN BE NO GAPS.  I trust something about your sincerity.  Just be honest as I always will be.  Can I relate to shame ?     I don't know whether to laugh or cry---I am managing to do both at the same time!

IF--- You are not going to go into this because of an experience or its shame,  You are not going to go into this in spite of an experience or its shame.  YOU are going to into this WITH the experience and its shame  (Please Think about that)
But think. Would you feel shame if pride wasnt an issue in the first place? In my book SHAME OMG DELICIOUS I mention about the possibility of authenticity through pride.  BUT FORGET THAT.  The connection of the two are existential fact.  Pride and ALL of its gestures are inherited through our dominant ape ancestors.  One dominant controlled about ten males and ten females.  The dominant apes accounted for more than 80% of successful matings.  Many submissives would never copulate with a female an entire lifetime in spite of GREAT ATTRACTION and AROUSAL... TALK about shame being connected to pride, AND HOW!  But, that is the point.  Hereditarily most humans have a strong disposition of shame.  Shame was  atool in natural selection that told an organism not  to be too avid--to withdraw.  Psychology screwed up the meaning of shame and made it a societal thing.  I will reteach you how to use the shame capacity in self beneficence, as it was meant for.   To answer your point directly, I don't think I am the one in twenty male/female dominant alpha male.  I can get over that quite easily as a fact of life.

I want to feel all of my emotions,  and I am particularly fond of feeling my shame, because of the stupendous benefits--which, if you want to start on that journey, I will gladly share.  I expect if you do, that you keep full autonomy.  I don't make ties, but while we communicate I will tell the truth.

Sharing Ideas - Billy - 08-20-2014

I get the reluctance to ask about the shame practice itself, so I'll elucidate a bit.  First off, while I made the concept mine and found other sources later, it is simialr to old practice from Christian quietism---Miguel de Molinos in particular.  The point of self-abasement in these is to reach a peaceful, ecstatic state purportedly in the name of negation before the Lord.  The claim was that it was sinful to have any concept of God for themselves personally, because any perception could only be an insulting diminishment--that is, the right demeanor was to be ashamed to think oneself worth even having their limiting perception.

Strip away the BS.  I assume no one here buys into biblical Gods.
 
  Clearly from the writings of even Catholic saints effected by the movement, many were learning natural LSD trips by stripping away selfhood.  Now Thomas a' Kempis, though he does not fit the mold, wrote Imitation of Christ which does a good deal of self-abasement.  I have used it for getting 'bottom' a long time.   With shame it was a good instrument.  I took words like God, Christ, Jesus, Thy, Thee and substituted the word shame.  Wherever the word love or grace appeared I interpreted as LOVE of my shame.  So to speak, I worship and give myself over to shame WHEN I practice, as another would offer one's self to a god.

   Psycho-Physiologically the world/mind/body will definitely respond.  Now, you want to avoid emotions like self-love and self-pity on the one hand, but still it is not necessary to rid them during practice if you keep in mind the point of your effort.  What is the point? 

   You want COMPLETE sense of worthlessness, and to know that you are undeserving even to exist whatsoever.  Once you start generating responsive body chemicals (especially adrenalin) ANY other emotion  (IMPORTANT TO KNOW THIS IN PRACTICE)  ANY OTHER emotion reinforces a notion that you STILL do exist, and this should make you want to be sick with shame BECAUSE YOU DON'T DESERVE TO EVEN BE ALIVE.  Any EMOTION or thought of self will be food to even make yourself MORE ASHAMED > this has a definite cyclical effect after which it takes little effort to work you into a shameful, soulful self-negation.  OH IT is QUITE TASTY the various effects.  The one's you think threaten a sense of being are of course the ones to GO with greedily.  When you start to affect a total sense of your abomination as an entity, TRUST ME the emptiness is just waiting.

   Several notes:  The aftermath involves a cleansing mode, a sense of stillness because you wiped away self temporarily.  If you are a person who still wants to feel guilty about things in life; this not for you.  Guilt and sustained self-pity have no place in my life.  They should have no place in anyone's life.

A second note is that you come out of practice with a humble patience, and it is probably wise to use this to recalibrate your relations with people cultivating a sense of the humility gained from your own shame.  The world definitely will be responsive in different ways, meaning different experiences of 'otherness.'  The sense of 'newness' alone is worth the price of admission to the shame practice.

  It is IMPORTANT in this immediate phase not to look what you can get, or how you can change others  THAT IS A MISTAKE (even though this is accessible)  Continue to cultivate that you don't deserve a fucking thing from others,  and in fact use THIS NEWNESS as opportuntiy to mess with your own mind and SEE how much you can GIVE to others.  Now, I am a lazy selfish ****-- if I can do that ANYONE can.  WATCH what happens.

   Now, I want to tell you I am not weird to the outside world.  And, in fact I probably DO ascertain several alpha traits.  I married a woman who is stunningly beautiful, intelligent etc.  OMG we are older now, but in prime she was 37" 23" 36".  She was stunningly gorgeous and in college at age 17.  Her 3 sisters were ALL Homecoming Queens, and she put them to shame.  Her brother was a star football player for Ohio State.  Woody Hayes was at the home twice personally in recruitment.  PRIDE (wink)  I have everything materially.   My daughter graduated Summa Cum Laude with an MBA.  Yeah, I can do THAT number too on and on.  AND I appreciate those things too, but.... those types of thinking WERE attachments at a time (no longer so, because I KNOW clearly what they are and are not).

  Don't be afraid here of opening yourself up a little.  I am not the same old misguiding informer you are used to.

Sharing Ideas - Billy - 08-20-2014

By the way, obviously pride and shame are evolutionalrily rooted in sex, and the balance of shame practice with and without masturbation is changeable from day to day and week to week.  I will tell you again the chemicals of shame in sex bringing oxytocin, dopamine, endorphins, neurotransmitters, adrenalin etc. really take you out of the overly-conscious element of particulars (Yet, amazingly shame keeps you in a high state of awareness overall.)  Particulars are what you 'get rid of ' in mindfulness practices.  This blows the doors off of sitting cross-legged watching breathe. 

   It is very addictive, once you know how to generate enough shame to release body chemicals.  THIS is a good addiction.  (As I said shame is a very trustworthy friend.)  Of course you will be obliged to go further in the practice of abasement to get results, AND this is good.  Do you trust yourself to meet yourself in a dark lonely place, where even your soul is condemned?   YES, YOU CAN TRUST YOURSELF!  Further, SHAME does the work for you once past a certain point.  I think a realistic time frame to get a sense of something seriously happening is a few weeks.  I mean you have movement and momentum that is of its own (without extraordinary will.)  I'll say again, the effects are really TASTY.  (I'm laughing because if nothing else, you will learn to masturbate to orgasms you never thought possible.)

  Still, while the sexual component is great {and needs not to be restricted in any way---it (the obsession) settles}, you want to keep the key element or experience that drives your shame as a baseline reminder in day to day living.  This reminder connected to those turn-ons creates a bodily feel (presence) that YOU WANT  (It is a very empowering sexual feel too).  You want this feel to 'train' you lay low.  I mentioned I don't practice this anymore because it just IS for me.  What I mean is you start to understand that a sense of your own withdrawal as a way of being brings the world to you with space inbetween whenever there is interaction.  This is obviously advantageous and ultimately attractive to those around you.

  No, you won't become a pansy.

Sharing Ideas - Billy - 08-20-2014

Everything here applies to females too.

Sharing Ideas - Billy - 08-20-2014

IMPORTANT:  If active shame from abuse or rape etc. is in force---I am not being light-hearted about it.  It is all the more pertinent for you to do  this shame practice to objectify the shame and make it a shameless shame.  I mean this.  You don't need do anything more than go with shame to that horrible place by your choice.  Believe me, then your own shame will take you deep enough by itself just by your initial allowance.  You have a leg up on others.  Consider the shame a gift. It can free you.

Sharing Ideas - serloco - 08-20-2014

Well I do not pursue sex in any way. I gave it up long ago, and have no attraction to females or males in any way. I can activate my lust andf desire on command however and used it for a while to master the art of luring people to me, with energy alone. I had them wrapped aorund my finger by projecting lust. I didn't practice this long and gave it up right away. I explored many feelings at the time. I do not think shame is related only to sexual impulse at all, and has many starting points in which it can originate. I have no sexual desire at all for over 6 years. I have felt shame however from violating and mutilating life to my own will and command, and at times damaging life forms. This is because I have value associated to life that I hold sacred and has nothing to do with sex. I have also at times moved into positions of awareness that have no morals and no shame for any evil action I performed. I prefer a path of heart and so shifted into controlled sets or morals in which if violated produces shame and regret within myself, which is beneficial to learn from these feelings.

I am far from being bound to reason or logic, and have been speaking about it in another thread just recently. I surpass all forms of reason and logic, expanding them in the process. I also study many paths including shamanism for many years. I have surpassed all that I have learned of shamanism as well, yet I study all walks of life, as well as even creating my own. I never will be stuck in any one way for 10 years as you suggest and am always expanding.

I also do not have trouble sustaining my realities, or positions of awareness. Long ago i would be so fluid and manifest so many states that i was all over the place and often did not sustain reality. However I can and do so now, pulling far off amazing things and grounding them into this world. IOB's taught me the ancient ways of mexican dreamers who would divide their cities into two parts dreamers and stalkers, and would work together to ground what the dreamers found in distant states into reality. I use these techniques and although I am more often a stalker I stalk myself into far off distant dreaming positions, and can ground these thing fairly easy into my world, and use other people and media, and various mediums and advacned techniques to do so. No problems at all.

The splitting of an atom is not merely decay as you suggest, it is also mitosis, division, propagation, which are positive generating aspects of energy. One way into two then three, etc, then merged back together to add the collective of these paths and forms into a collective source. The nature of fusion and fission can produce an eternity of forms without losing any energy in the process. The process of growth itself is a form of fission as well as utilizing fusion. To share all I know on this subject would require a thesis on my part or a direct merging of awareness, or fusion of awareness.

I do not know anything about your reference to 220 or 110 energy, however allowing the world to form around you without moving is one of my stationary positions of awareness that i gained from studying IOB's and altering my awareness to their positions. I use this position very often and move or shift everything in the world around me, and so this is nothing new to me. I must say that you assume alot of me, and most likely of other people, thinking that we do not know what you know. Perhaps their are things that you know that we do not, but to assume we do not is rather presumptuous and incorrect. I also am not an average being as you suggested I am when you say ordinary person. I am actually the most extraordinary person I have ever met within human terms. I suggest that you open to the idea that the world around you can see you, is aware of you, and knows what you know through a collective link in your consciousness. It is a much better way to pass information to your world and has no boundaries in regards to time and distance. All that is needed is the focus of attention in this way and form, and the intent. It is a position that grows with practice. however some prefer not to connect, a simple choice.

And just to add about your comment of apes attacking other males who threaten their maleness. Seems to me it is a possessive attitude, and can be attributed to insecurity and the need to protect and defend oneself, image, and authority. I myself have built many relationships free of this trait and embracing freedom and no need to protect or defend oneself, pride, and image, and form bonds that are free. Some prefer mono relationships, loyalty, having only one mate, while others prefer the freedom to love other people and not just one. I can do either and suspend feelings for others and have them form for only one person, or I can form love for all beings, and desire for intimacy with many beings. If my lover falls in love with another being I do not take shame, nor fault in my self for this action if it were to occur. My controlled folly prefers the ability to love many beings and not have need to protect my security or image in any way. Like i said tho I can do either way, but do not seek intimacy or sex at this time in my life. My attention span is free of these hooks and desires and I prefer this.

WHen you study dreaming energy, the energy of conception, creation, you will see that the seed and egg within the human genders is formed from these elements. Silvio suggests to conserve our sexual energy because it is related to our dreaming energies and he is correct. I, like Julian, do not need to conserve this energy, and have an abundance of it at hand. I have found that it is a matter of intent alone, and the correct position of awareness and knowledge that does this for me. Like stated an impeccable warrior succeeds at any task and power always finds a way. Enough said for me.

Where i can understand stalking power in everything including shame, I do not want to generate shame without reason and do not find it a pleasent emotion to intend into me without purpose. It is a tool for me, an awareness generated from a violation of my perceptions of right and wrong, and as such I use it for that purpose alone, to learn from and to bring to my attention the acts that generated that feeling. In regards to stalking power you can place power into anything surely, but for myself shame is just fine for what it presently is and I can harness power in many ways, and do not need shame to bring it about. For me it is what it is. I can understand that if you have an abundance of shame within you, and have dealt with it a long time, then why not make into something useful and powerful, and so I wish you luck in this pursuit.

Serloco said "Reap what you sow, and sow only the best seeds. Their is a solution to every problem and even the fliers can see them clearly and offer to you great solutions, however you must first suspend the negative awareness and see them in this light. To them it is merely another form of many, and that is all they need. Remember intent in its raw state is indifferent and many be formed to any state."

Billy replied "(THIS IS ONE STEP TOO MANY---YOU ARE PLAYING WITH ENERGY AND POWER IN AN UNSUSTAINABLE WAY.)"

Not for me, no. My statement implies mobility and freedom between infinite forms and states, as well as cohesion and sustainability in each state. Indifference implies that the choice is yours and without resistance of any kind generated form the reality you are within, unless your awareness and knowledge forms resistance, which is YOuR position of awareness that generates it. I have it boiled down to choice of awareness.

I also suggest stalking your awareness of time, age, the process of aging, and fluid positions of the body. Tr y learning to convert your physical body into awareness, and knowledge, perhaps as a projection of your consciousness (your perception or reality of your body that you have within you because that is the form you generate, knowing this you can begin to control the knowledge that manifests your form and aging, as well as your wife's). The active realtions between your awareness position and your perception that aligns as result can be seen directly right now, and so as you shift your ideas of what your body is, what aging is, then you actively shift the form generated form this position,. Its active right now.

That's all for now. ~Serloco

Sharing Ideas - serloco - 08-20-2014

And just to add for Billy again.

You should also seek out the art of death defying. I know many valuable secrets of death that most people I have seen know little, if anything, about. Your comment stating to all people that they must and will die no matter what is rather demanding and not to mention totally incorrect.

Not trying to be rude here but "I am not the same old misguiding informer you are used to" does not apply to this statement. I am very used to the intent and will of the weak misguided, uninformed humans, all stuck on death row, living out their limited lives on a prison planet.

It's freedom baby, all the way for me. No exceptions, no demands.

Sharing Ideas - serloco - 08-20-2014

I have died many times, controlled my death's form many times, learned from death his secrets and mastery. It feels great too, like a heavy burden lifted. Many fear and turn from death, and I used too as well, but my path faces my fears and surpasses them.

One time 'someone' said to me, arguing that a car could hit me right here in the street, demanding that I am not beyond death. I told him that his attention is set in this way, his intent forms this experience and possibility, the form he is manifesting., I said to him that when I envision the danger of the car hitting me i have many options, and the one I choose in that instance was a powerful one he could not agree too because of his limited weakness. I said the car would pass right through me. The next time I was in the same spot a car sped up behind me in the street and passed right through me, exactly as my prophecy intended. I am a prophet and have been for a very long time.

Before that, when I first learned of prophecy, I declared my frustration at the women in the position I was in, and declared stupidly that the next woman I loved, or fell for, would pull out a gun and blow my brains out of my head. At that time my consciousness was merged with many different beings and allies, and I was under extreme pressure, as well as feelings. I predicted my death and what would happen when I lost my brains. I stated that my awareness would shift into an alternate dimension, a twin parallel position resembling the location I was in, and my body would be converted into energy, intact and resembling my physical form. I forgot about my prophecy however and later returned to my home town and was at a friends house. I commanded silently that my friend conjure a sister or friend, a women for me, and he did. Saying to me sarcastically outloud that my "sister" is coming over. Saying the word sister very sarcastically, reflecting my intent. Soon she arrived and we began speaking, and she was very pretty. I was attracted to her and the exact moment I realized I wanted her she said "it's me, Im the one" and she walked behind me, exactly as the song on the radio (eminem) was singing a song about how songs can hurt you, and he sang about loading a gun, exactly as she held the gun to my head, and the sound on the radio was a gun being cocked and then fired, exactly as she pulled the trigger. I felt then my rains spew through the front of my head and I collapsed onto the ground. I do not know what the people did then because i was astounded myself, in fact i have no memory of them being there afterwards, and slowly got up and went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. My face was two dimensional, highly coloured and energetically vibrational. The first time I became two dimensional like a cartoon both in form and colour, though slightly more radiant. I knew I had no physicality and so projected my attention into the future of my sleep, intending that my awareness be converted back into physicality upon waking. Which it did.

I have been shot in the head 3 times since in varying circumstances.

Another time I met some evil allies, and they were planning to kill me and began trying to find a way. They were trying to stop my heart and I could see their intent and attention doing their work. I knew they would succeed too because they were very powerful and I could see them clearly. I went to hospital and commanded that I will live through this even with no heart beat, I will still be alive and conscious. I converted by physical body into a projection generated by my conscious awareness of my body, and began shifting the knowledge of my heart, oxygenation, and circulatory systems, to counter the problematic conditions that would lead to my death, forming new channels and solutions. When the time came they hooked me to the machines and my chest caved in and I could not easily breath, and the machine read my heart as stopped. I was alive still, and conscious, and began breathing easier again with no heart. It happened several times throughout the day, and I learned to control my heart, to start it and stop it with my intent, and flow of attention. I did many times throughout the day. I would say I AM DEAD and it would stop, and I AM ALIVE and it would start again to my command. I left the hospital and began walking arund the city feeling very powerful, and stalked the positions of a vampire. I used my power to stop cars in the street instantly, with no harmful force, as if the car was never moving, and commanding stores to give me free food, by draining the life of the people in the store and giving them the life i wanted them to have. Good stuff.

I have died other ways too, and learned many other things of death, some much more profound then what i have shared, but i must go and eat some ham now. Yum, I love ham, I think i always will.

Sharing Ideas - serloco - 08-21-2014

Don't get me wrong Billy, I am not saying that you are weak and powerless, because I do not think you are. I do not know the form of your death that is within your awareness. Well very little of it anyways. I see your death as a physical death caused by physical conditions, aging, and decay, as you have shown me already. That is why I speak to you regarding your comments of death, decay, fusion and fission, etc. Perhaps you would care to share with me your personal nature of death, the knowledge you contain about it, and perhaps any intent and knowledge of afterlife, which is common perception of people I find??

Sharing Ideas - Billy - 08-21-2014

Serloco, I surely dismissed others to provoke and ascertain in one respect, and then to totally be a knowing **** on the other MOSTLY.  The shame kick is a short phase for me which you take to understand in its conventional context, which I assure you is completely upside down biologically.  Psychology today has no clue what emotions are.  Neuroscientists do a much better job connecting things.  But forget that, and forgive my impertinence--- which is fairly light PLAY.  I use PLAY in capitals in writing-- because that's essentially what I do or aspire to do.
 
I am glad I have met someone like you.  You clearly are having some serious fun.  I read every word respectfully.

CLEARLY I am gifted with energy, BUT weak of willing intent (to live other lives.)  This does not make me sad.  I am just plain objective of my own desires.  I really dote on the idea that 'ISness' is not so appealing to me that I want another time around.  Given that I am relatively GOOD to go (happy), I always wondered about others obsessions with continuing life.  I am not talking about yourself here. 

To be sure, Serloco, the shame thing is just a recent NICE toy I picked up along the way.  It could blow doors open for other people though; I really do know this.  I was almost going to drop the shame thing here and do a sound 'detachment 101' piece.  I don't think so now, being that I SEE the ideas in front of me.  Thank you for telling me--you must know how much I appreciate them.

I'll add another post immediately.

Sharing Ideas - Billy - 08-21-2014

Someday I will show you what a nifty toy shame is when stripped naked of conventional identifications, and understood at the BASE.  We are talking about something to be known at a different explainable level.  We are talking from a different place there.

Anyway, I want to move from that.  Are you aware by your sense of things that you can talk to me--- that is that I can ground things in reality.  I don't fly is the problem (wink)  I am truly a coward that way.  I have to be pulled along.  Still, I can go anywhere.  Do you understand what I mean?

  So, if you want to PLAY along, I'll let you lead for now.  Share what you want to share, ask what you want to ask.  If you want to email I'll provide info. (though I am not the posting kind of person despite my jag here.)  A phone call if a direction developed would be preferable.  I am from northern Ohio. I am definitely a loner, yet relationships I have are typically dynamic.  I change the course of people lives or/and they change mine.  Again thank you.  I look forward to your reply.