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The Naguals blow - seesaw - 04-27-2014
I went to visit a witch i know a few weeks back. The brief encounter has
left an impression on me so much larger than the few hours i was there for.
This i guess is what they refer to as sorcerers 'intensity', where time gets
compressed. But, i'm getting ahead of
myself in this brief story ( stalkers joke). Let me come back to the
present and simply try to describe what happened.
I was only in the country for 3 days, on a rapid whistle-stop tour between
various obligatory appointments. I had just managed to squeeze in this
part of the trip to see her, even if it did mean an awful lot of driving.
Its been a while since i last saw the witch. Maybe a year or so. Last
time i was there it was snowing, and i was sick with flu. This time although
fit and well, i was struggling to find the address. In fact i didn't even have
an address, just a vague memory of what features to look out for in the
landscape., lines of oak trees, narrow country lanes etc. Yet all of this had
changed with the leafy cover of spring. As i drove around almost aimlessly
i found didn’t recognize anything and I started to wonder if i had
just wasted an entire days driving to get here, just to be thwarted by in
inability to find her at the last hurdle. The telephone number i had for her
just went straight to a message service. The old address i had for her just
took me to a place i knew she had left some years before. I wondered if i was
being kept away by poor planning on my behalf, or something a bit more ineffable.
In the end i had to call a friend who could i asked to contact her via the
net, then have her address sent to me by sms. I hate involving third parties
for such details. But when the address finally came through i was very grateful.
30 mins later i pulled up on the grass drive by an old timber hut and
parked my car. Stretching after the long drive was a good feeling and i walked
around the side of the garden. I met her at her door and she invited me in. I
saw her eyes were waaaay off deep somewhere, could tell she was more than just
here in front of me. You see that sometimes in peoples eyes. In this case her
eyes were
not mad, or drugged, or absorbed in other things, they just had a vast
depth to what they seemed focussed on.
Children came and went, and she spoke to them as each needed, yet still her
eyes held their depth, they didn't focus in to the task at hand, they
maintained their bandwidth and i could only wonder at what she might be perceiving.
The conversation was light at first, friendly. General banter, niceties if
you want. An eavesdropper would have heard nothing abnormal. I spoke to her
daughter about her new college place. Said hello to a son i have never met
before. Normal
things.
We wandered around the garden and i chatted in turn with other members of
her family, eventually falling into an ad-hoc game of badminton with them. No
rules, just smashing a shuttle cock over a power line to the house as a
persistent wind added another element of complexity to the free form game. She announced
she had to go prepare some food
I played football with the kids into the dusk of evening. My legs
started to feel the strain after an hour or so of kicking around an
under-inflated football, my muscles unused to the strange wrenching action of
hooking a ball over the head of a young boy at the end of a garden of
freshly mowed grass.
It was getting dark by the time i went inside to eat with her. I was hungry
and very appreciative of the food. In fact sitting here now i remember it all,
the entire thing springs up to my attention like a dark hologram of the
evening, shrouded in darkness, but much more detail available to me than normal
memories hold.
Eventually the conversation turned to the real purpose of my visit.
I told her why i had come, although my time was short i wanted her help to
get the feel of my attention focussed on what i shall call phantom sensations,
energy, and the ephemeral realm. In my own terminology i would refer to this as
the first gate of dreaming awake. I had come wanting to get in actual contact with
this other layer of reality that i have felt cut off from for so long. I wanted
to feel and know, despite the subtlety of the subject, contact with all
certainty, this first level actual dreaming awake.
We talked around the subject, i even outlined my ideas for how it could be
taught as the initial stages of development for people who like me, are caught
up in the snarls of reason and wordly concerns.
As we spoke about the topic she mentioned how she sometimes brushes peoples
energy whilst in conversation with them, and described the strange effects this
can have on their behaviour.
Feelings somewhat reckless i asked her to try doing the same on me.
She sat and concentrated for a second, i felt a wave of intensity run
through me. Like currents of gentle water acting on me, or a breeze affecting
me. It was gentle but definite. I smiled, pleased, in fact growing increasingly
delighted at the sensation. A couple of minutes passed, she too seemed happy
that i could feel it so obviously.
Enthusiastically I asked her to try again. The sensations returned,
obviously so, and this time it left me
feeling fully connected to the energy around my body. I was more spacious
inside than before.
The entire thread of the conversation had changed, also my perceptions. She
talked about how she does this so easily for people, putting them into contact
with their energy, but that no-one ever really asks what they can do with it.
Feeling a little dumb i robotically took the cue i was offered and asked what i
could do with it. This format of her then casually revealing what questions i
should be asking continued for the next 30 minutes. Slowly i became familiar
with this new more whole feeling of what it was to be me in contact with this
energy feeling.. Finally the conversation turned to the issue of
responsibility, being responsible for finding this part of ourselves, holding
awareness of it, acting from it, being it more consistently
I felt a tremor in
an area of the small of my back, roughly between the shoulder-blades. It felt
like someone had just put their knee in my back whilst pulling my arms and
shoulders backwards, an effect which made me arch my spine. The sensation
happened again, and this time i noticed that the sensation although tangible
and very very real, was actually outside the confines of my body, slightly
external to it. I was almost spasming with the sensations as something between
my shoulder caused me to writhe and contort my body, almost as if i was the
recipient of successive electric shocks..
She told me to
relax, and she held her arms out horizontally to her sides, then seemed to melt
all rigidity of her form from within, relaxing her body in a demonstration. I
copied the motion and just tried to let go, allowing the sensations to do their
own thing, not try and grab onto them which merely seemed to hold them in
static positions between jolts to my body. The overall effect was, as she
suggested, akin to being inflated from the inside so all my creases were ironed
out. I was left in a state where i felt very alert and at ease, if anything
even larger than the confines of my body, filling the entire space around my physical
form with a conscious presence and knowing that this aspect of being was as
much me as the physical body i had within it.
I was amazed at
the simplicity with which this change in awareness had happened.
I knew my
assemblage point had, without a shadow of a doubt, shifted from its habitual
position, and i was now re-experiencing the first stages of dreaming awake,
aware of my own energy body in its infancy.
The Naguals blow - Littlepaw - 04-27-2014
coolio
The Naguals blow - spiderlily - 11-26-2015
Fab story seesaw. Thank you
The Naguals blow - Guest - 08-21-2019
The Naguals blow - Guest - 08-21-2019
The Naguals blow - Guest - 08-21-2019