The Cherry Tree and the Outhouse

[Guest]

A man called his sons together and asked them: "OK, which one of you pushed the outhouse until it collapsed?"
None of them moved a muscle. So he said: "You know, George Washington had a cherry tree, and one of his sons cut it down. When he asked his sons who did it, his one son came forward and admitted to doing it. And, because he was so honest, he didn't get a beating."
"OK dad, it was me, I collapsed the outhouse", said one of his sons. So the father immediately took the boy and gave him the hiding of his life.
In tears, the boy asked "But why are you beating me for being honest, when George Washington's son wasn't beaten for being honest?"
"Because, son, George Washington wasn't sitting in the tree when his son cut it down."

[Guest]

A Parrot had been alone and miserable for many years, and became sadly out of shape and lost interest in life.
However, one day he became so tired of his pathetic existence, that he decided to start doing Tensegrity, with increasing gusto. And suddenly, things started happening in his life.
His owner noticed the birds new resolve, and took pity on the bird, and told him that he would be providing him with the mate he has always yearned for, when he got back home that evening.
When the owner got back that evening (with a little lady parrot), he saw that his parrot had plucked out all of his own feathers, during the course of the day.
So he asked him what the heck was the matter? Wasn't he glad that he was finally getting the mate he craved for?
"Of course" said the parrot. "But, tonight is the night I'm sleeping naked."

[Guest]