12-05-2018, 12:00 AM
watergaze, something about what you wrote was profoundly shocking to me! You wrote about not reading the whole book, but then explained how that decision was not what I'll call the "final judgement" on the matter. I felt very clearly what you were communication and saw the truth of it within myself. I suddenly got very tired and felt something akin to the after-feeling of being punched in the chest!
What I've come up with so far is that I made an unconscious judgment on the meaning of you not reading the whole book and when you expressed such fluidity in the matter, it registered as a shock.
This final judgment business is what's coming up for me.
My experience recently was through having a conflict with a co-worker. Basically he was mad that I don't communicate clearly and I was mad that he doesn't listen, and since we're both right (in truth and judgementally) a conflict ensued. I see him as very set in his ways, not open to alternative points of view, and it drove me crazy how he literally preaches his beliefs for significant amounts of time every single day! Hello! He was showing what I didn't want to admit about myself! Where he did it outwardly and vocally my internal dialogue was all about preaching my view internally. The form wasn't really different, just the specific contents and method of expression were.
After recognizing all of this, I haven't felt the need to judge him like I was. He was preaching again today and it didn't bother me in the slightest. How I perceived it was that it really is only one aspect of his being and one that he seems quite happy to maintain at the time.
So what I'm seeing is that it has been deathly important for me to have some kind of final judgment on matters, so important and ingrained that it's done unconsciously and automatically! A belief that says, "That is salvation! To have the correct final judgment!" Wow!
Will you tell me what you mean by the lazy way of non-judgment?
What I've come up with so far is that I made an unconscious judgment on the meaning of you not reading the whole book and when you expressed such fluidity in the matter, it registered as a shock.
This final judgment business is what's coming up for me.
My experience recently was through having a conflict with a co-worker. Basically he was mad that I don't communicate clearly and I was mad that he doesn't listen, and since we're both right (in truth and judgementally) a conflict ensued. I see him as very set in his ways, not open to alternative points of view, and it drove me crazy how he literally preaches his beliefs for significant amounts of time every single day! Hello! He was showing what I didn't want to admit about myself! Where he did it outwardly and vocally my internal dialogue was all about preaching my view internally. The form wasn't really different, just the specific contents and method of expression were.
After recognizing all of this, I haven't felt the need to judge him like I was. He was preaching again today and it didn't bother me in the slightest. How I perceived it was that it really is only one aspect of his being and one that he seems quite happy to maintain at the time.
So what I'm seeing is that it has been deathly important for me to have some kind of final judgment on matters, so important and ingrained that it's done unconsciously and automatically! A belief that says, "That is salvation! To have the correct final judgment!" Wow!
Will you tell me what you mean by the lazy way of non-judgment?