12-05-2018, 12:00 AM
yes, the final judgement, nice catch! 
Now that you have seen this, your experience of everything can shift quite a bit. At first it might not be comfortable to not judge stuff to that extent. We are used to needing this judgment, which is so linked with our values and our self-image, to act on many things. But you'll figure it out - maybe you already have
The example I gave above (what I call the landmark experience) was about fighting to not make the final judgment, surely not prematurely (based on my own or other people's bias or world view), fighting to keep the options of possibilities until it is clear by itself (for example through things that were not linked to me). But as I kept at it I realized that there is so much magic in not solidifying one view over the other(s)... and in the end I had no final judgment in the way that I was used to. And that was freeing.
Already some time before I got to this point when the situation happened I have been observing that I would find myself unable to know what to think about stuff. I found it uncomfortable because I couldn't act when I did not know what to think about something, or rather, when I was unable to solidify in a judgment. It was somewhat impractical at times but also uncomfortable for my mind. Of course, shamanically speaking it was a great thing that was happening and I learned and I don't have this problem now.
Often, we are very quick to judge people and situations because otherwise they might bother us. Not only might we see things we don't want to see (if we are living the typical muggle life) but we might have to delay acting (reacting) because in order to react we'd need to know what is what (what we are reacting to) or otherwise we'd have to feel it and be able to act from other layers. But stopping is not something muggles are comfortable with. In stopping and waiting there can be a build up of pressure, which can be uncomfortable for those not used to it. Also, people in the normal world are pushed to be productive in a certain way and not lose time. But a warrior has a different concept of time and effectiveness. Sometimes one has to wait a few yeas to do one act that is then effective, but a muggle would keep trying and wasting energy and maybe even damage their enthusiasm and hope in achieving the thing.
I think using the word "react" speaks volumes. Often all people do is react and react and react. There is no stopping, they just keep reacting. If one looks at it like this then suspending judgment stops our reacting. It gives us the time to stop and then act, not just react.
You see, for me suspending judgement could look like a state where you stop thinking that your coworker does not listen. Of course this could only go so far before it gets to a place where it might not work or be doable/practical (which is why I said I was lucky to encounter a situation that could last for quite a few months and never truly come to the final judgment stage - but maybe the total final judgement didn't come because I was already not a person who needed it so I didn't do it). Say you tell your co-worker something and he doesn't act on it or doesn't know later what you told him and when this happens repeatedly over a period of time then you somewhat rightfully conclude what you conclude - that he doesn't listen (the thing is that later on this conclusion will not have the same hold on you due to the progress you'd have made). But (at this stage) the magic is to treat the co-worker until then as if he did listen (and actually one could treat him as if he were listening even after that - but that would be a different thing to try that would have other types of effects to observe). And then shift to a position where you can hold both options - he listens and he does not listen - and try to act from there.
You can do that only if you are not over-invested in one or the other option, or otherwise it will be much harder to balance, so it might force you to uninvest yourself or to fail (uninvesting oneself is a great thing to practice already on its own but it is hard when you have no way to check it, here you do).
If one can manage that I think one will start to notice that sometimes judgment this way or that is not even necessary. We think we need it to act, but in many situations that is not true (we do need it to think stuff about stuff and we are used to that so that is why it might be uncomfortable until we lose that habit). Moreover it takes the typical you out of the equation - you will get a different flavor of yourself. And you will act based on things other than what you are used to as yourself. This is very freeing.
But of course I don't know if the specific situation with your coworker is one where you should try it - but I'm giving you this example so you understand the system of it, of what I tried to do, and you can try it on a situation that you feel is good for it. In my case, I tried these steps many times. And then at one point I recognized the situation already before it started that it was something where Spirit set the stage. I felt like I was invited into a ring of power and the whole situation was happening in this ring. I felt like I am a player in this field and I am playing a match. I needed to stay there and keep alert and catch the balls that were thrown at me - somewhat like a goalkeeper. Catch the ball (sometimes a forceful one or a curved one, other times a nice one), throw it back more gently, catch the ball, throw it back.
I tried the position of an actual goalkeeper before, during a football game. I didn't want to be a goalkeeper, I was scared. But when I was picked to be one I went and faced this fear. My experience of being a goalkeeper was like what I describe (similar to how I felt in guarding against making judgments haha), you need to stand there and be super alert and quick. There is pressure on you - the actual physical force of the balls that fly at you but also the expectations and wishes that you catch the ball (other players don't have this in such a high concentration, they get the ball but they are not expected to score every time or do any one single action, the goalkeeper is expected to do one single action, or outcome - avert getting a goal). The balls that come at you are fast and they have a lot of force/pressure, they are aimed at certain parts of your zone, your space (also the pressure from the unknown has this kind of characteristic, often it feels as if it were aiming at the point where you are most rigid). The pressure and forcefulness is scary, the anticipation of it is scary - or was, but I got over that. Once you are in a better state you observe the whole game and you protect the state of your team (which includes you). (Interesting is that you have the option of joining the game before you too... but that goes beyond what I myself experienced - I think there I reached my limit for that moment).
(I will respond to your question later, in my next post)
Now that you have seen this, your experience of everything can shift quite a bit. At first it might not be comfortable to not judge stuff to that extent. We are used to needing this judgment, which is so linked with our values and our self-image, to act on many things. But you'll figure it out - maybe you already have The example I gave above (what I call the landmark experience) was about fighting to not make the final judgment, surely not prematurely (based on my own or other people's bias or world view), fighting to keep the options of possibilities until it is clear by itself (for example through things that were not linked to me). But as I kept at it I realized that there is so much magic in not solidifying one view over the other(s)... and in the end I had no final judgment in the way that I was used to. And that was freeing.
Already some time before I got to this point when the situation happened I have been observing that I would find myself unable to know what to think about stuff. I found it uncomfortable because I couldn't act when I did not know what to think about something, or rather, when I was unable to solidify in a judgment. It was somewhat impractical at times but also uncomfortable for my mind. Of course, shamanically speaking it was a great thing that was happening and I learned and I don't have this problem now.
Often, we are very quick to judge people and situations because otherwise they might bother us. Not only might we see things we don't want to see (if we are living the typical muggle life) but we might have to delay acting (reacting) because in order to react we'd need to know what is what (what we are reacting to) or otherwise we'd have to feel it and be able to act from other layers. But stopping is not something muggles are comfortable with. In stopping and waiting there can be a build up of pressure, which can be uncomfortable for those not used to it. Also, people in the normal world are pushed to be productive in a certain way and not lose time. But a warrior has a different concept of time and effectiveness. Sometimes one has to wait a few yeas to do one act that is then effective, but a muggle would keep trying and wasting energy and maybe even damage their enthusiasm and hope in achieving the thing.
I think using the word "react" speaks volumes. Often all people do is react and react and react. There is no stopping, they just keep reacting. If one looks at it like this then suspending judgment stops our reacting. It gives us the time to stop and then act, not just react.
You see, for me suspending judgement could look like a state where you stop thinking that your coworker does not listen. Of course this could only go so far before it gets to a place where it might not work or be doable/practical (which is why I said I was lucky to encounter a situation that could last for quite a few months and never truly come to the final judgment stage - but maybe the total final judgement didn't come because I was already not a person who needed it so I didn't do it). Say you tell your co-worker something and he doesn't act on it or doesn't know later what you told him and when this happens repeatedly over a period of time then you somewhat rightfully conclude what you conclude - that he doesn't listen (the thing is that later on this conclusion will not have the same hold on you due to the progress you'd have made). But (at this stage) the magic is to treat the co-worker until then as if he did listen (and actually one could treat him as if he were listening even after that - but that would be a different thing to try that would have other types of effects to observe). And then shift to a position where you can hold both options - he listens and he does not listen - and try to act from there.
You can do that only if you are not over-invested in one or the other option, or otherwise it will be much harder to balance, so it might force you to uninvest yourself or to fail (uninvesting oneself is a great thing to practice already on its own but it is hard when you have no way to check it, here you do).
If one can manage that I think one will start to notice that sometimes judgment this way or that is not even necessary. We think we need it to act, but in many situations that is not true (we do need it to think stuff about stuff and we are used to that so that is why it might be uncomfortable until we lose that habit). Moreover it takes the typical you out of the equation - you will get a different flavor of yourself. And you will act based on things other than what you are used to as yourself. This is very freeing.
But of course I don't know if the specific situation with your coworker is one where you should try it - but I'm giving you this example so you understand the system of it, of what I tried to do, and you can try it on a situation that you feel is good for it. In my case, I tried these steps many times. And then at one point I recognized the situation already before it started that it was something where Spirit set the stage. I felt like I was invited into a ring of power and the whole situation was happening in this ring. I felt like I am a player in this field and I am playing a match. I needed to stay there and keep alert and catch the balls that were thrown at me - somewhat like a goalkeeper. Catch the ball (sometimes a forceful one or a curved one, other times a nice one), throw it back more gently, catch the ball, throw it back.
I tried the position of an actual goalkeeper before, during a football game. I didn't want to be a goalkeeper, I was scared. But when I was picked to be one I went and faced this fear. My experience of being a goalkeeper was like what I describe (similar to how I felt in guarding against making judgments haha), you need to stand there and be super alert and quick. There is pressure on you - the actual physical force of the balls that fly at you but also the expectations and wishes that you catch the ball (other players don't have this in such a high concentration, they get the ball but they are not expected to score every time or do any one single action, the goalkeeper is expected to do one single action, or outcome - avert getting a goal). The balls that come at you are fast and they have a lot of force/pressure, they are aimed at certain parts of your zone, your space (also the pressure from the unknown has this kind of characteristic, often it feels as if it were aiming at the point where you are most rigid). The pressure and forcefulness is scary, the anticipation of it is scary - or was, but I got over that. Once you are in a better state you observe the whole game and you protect the state of your team (which includes you). (Interesting is that you have the option of joining the game before you too... but that goes beyond what I myself experienced - I think there I reached my limit for that moment).
(I will respond to your question later, in my next post)