Lujan Matus

[Absyllyon]

I think I stated here what happened and how I was feeling. Further readings I have done indicate that the nagual cannot be damaged. So instead of using a term I will describe it.
As time went on I was experiencing a growing cohesion around my body. It felt like an energy field. This energy had a density which was increasing. I accept that my mind is weak and that I am prone to much fear of life that drains and weakens my power. Despite this poverty of being, this energy allowed me to feel a very deep connection with life and my fellow man. I felt their pain as a terrible anguish in the chest, yet I was separated from it. I was able to keep objectivity. In short the only explanation I can give for this is that my awareness also resided in another vehicle, namely this energy field. I felt no fear, anxiety at all about anything, which was a tremendous revelation to me. I experienced the sensations of my body but also the stillness and objectivity of this energy body. This energy body made me feel powerful as its focus was pin point; it acted rather than ruminating. If something needed to be done it was done and that was that. It was not partial to my body, it was ruthless in that it did not indulge in anything. It felt tremendous feelings, yet remained unattached.
During that time I felt no pity what-so-ever. Life and people were what they were. Neither did I pity myself. Of course I do now, otherwise I wouldn't have written this thread.
Gugeyewalker wrote:I've heard of this lujan character.

Absyllyon, mind telling me quite literally what your interaction with
him was? And was there some specific thing that caused this ripping of
your energy field etc, or is it just something you would rather not
share here?

It sounds to me that he quite expertly convinced some people to sort of
follow him as a nagual. Quite interesting, at least from a stalking
point of view, even if his intentions were not to get rid of
self-importance (you could call this dark stalking yes...)

I'm just curious what all this chap did to cause such a stir lol. Appealed to the gullible I guess.Well I have met him in person a number of times. He is friendly and all that.
 I
have lost my way and need to be reminded of a few things, such a been
grateful for the lessons. Too own up to my own power and stop giving it
away. As noble as he can come across as, he makes mistakes that have
severe consequences. The mistakes with me cause me to think that he
can't see me. An example of this kind of mistake is of him laying a
spell in stating ; "You never feel anything." As I write this I can feel
the drag of the intent of those words. We were doing some movements
that increase the flow of chi at the time. I was the only one who didn't
feel or see anything. Well the comment just served to show me how even
he can discard someone who doesn't respond to his energy and power, and
to reinforce the social training I grew up with, especially at the hands
of my dad. The difference with Lujan is that he claims to be a Nagual
and a man of knowledge; not only that, but a sage and holding knowledge
no one else has. I believed him and expected to be guided, so those
words had a bigger impact than if someone else had said it, I mean I
would of laughed it off. The truth is that I see and feel many things,
just not so much with him is all. I felt those words and saw his
weakness in them.
I moved on to other teachings that had more
information and gave me more understanding over the next year and my
energy started growing apace. At one point I saw that he was withdrawing
from everyone and made mention of it. He told me not to write such
things. Some how this innocuous comment caused an impacting ripping
sensation in my solar plexus and chest as mentioned in my introduction
-On the hunt. It was immediate and I had no time to maneuver myself to
off set or moderate the intensity of the emotional charge. Obviously it
my own emotional charge that did the damage, yet I blame him for been
the catalyst. This energy field was very 'young' and delicate. I felt
that as a seer he should know better, that as a man of knowledge he
should intuit the impact of his statements. And as such would see the
ongoing repercussions of the huge loss of energy I experienced. Either
he intended such a result, did not see or he too big a Man to offer me
some sort of understanding of what transpired. The energy is like a
sapling that needs to be protected and nurtured and one day it will
become a huge tree.
I feel betrayed by him for the paltry concern
of what others will think. He was in fact withdrawing. I had thought
twice about mentioning it but felt impelled to do so to help another
person I did not know, who was in much emotional pain. How I knew this I
am not really sure, but I did and it turned out to be so. Not only did i
see him as too concerned with his image, but also as hard hearted.
He
makes big claims yet in my case they have not stacked up. Actually I
feel that he corrals and stagnates awareness, and suppress, or waylays
burgeoning power in another - that is my experience. To understand
things is very important to me and makes a huge difference to what I may
be capable of. I experience suppression of understanding from him.
I
have waited these few years to speak publicly because the venom and
violence I felt towards him for what I thought of at the time, for
pillaging my energy would have caused me to slander him in every way I
could in an attempt to seek justice for his 'crime', and in no way see
that it is I who needs to make my stand.
What I am trying to lay out here is I have to take responsibility for
the full load."