03-11-2016, 12:00 AM
3/11/2016
I do not sleep much anymore. A few hours at most. So, I am up 2:30 AM, and I meditate. I never was able to have a mind empty of thought before this. Now I can obtain to that easily. My morning meditations are not as desirable to me as ones later in the day.
It is bizarre I actually look forward to to these afternoon meditations. I am finding the right 'quality' too, and where to set my point of unconcern. I am paying attention so that indifference and non-volition can generate a flow to create form. For me this 'how to' is more important than the calming stillness. I am not going to restate my intent of Meditating this particular post. Do you hear me?
From now on (for now), I am going to go downward when you do. I think I will even temper myself to evoke subtle darkness rather than light always.
Holy Christ! The first time from the sadness of indulging this down, the result was enticing pleasure in meditation.
I do it a second time later .. longer... it was horrid really.. I got completely lost in the depth.. I trembled, and when I began coming out of being 'essentially unconscious' I returned to a more conscious meditation and heard an uninterupted buzzing sound emitted from the area of my navel for over a minute. I stopped this. I could not believe it could come from body, but it was so. Very freaky. I am thinking how terrible this experience, and yet I am most tempted to go here again. This is very horrible and dark, and I feel a pain of my psyche. I have only known the light; I am led by my own desire to get to darker places that perhaps Kaomea knows from her witnessing heavy experiences. I feel sick.
okay ..I got your message, but maybe more like hunting than fishing with lures, dearest, I will see the arrow sideways thru your guts like in a dream I posted.
I do not sleep much anymore. A few hours at most. So, I am up 2:30 AM, and I meditate. I never was able to have a mind empty of thought before this. Now I can obtain to that easily. My morning meditations are not as desirable to me as ones later in the day.
It is bizarre I actually look forward to to these afternoon meditations. I am finding the right 'quality' too, and where to set my point of unconcern. I am paying attention so that indifference and non-volition can generate a flow to create form. For me this 'how to' is more important than the calming stillness. I am not going to restate my intent of Meditating this particular post. Do you hear me?
From now on (for now), I am going to go downward when you do. I think I will even temper myself to evoke subtle darkness rather than light always.
Holy Christ! The first time from the sadness of indulging this down, the result was enticing pleasure in meditation.
I do it a second time later .. longer... it was horrid really.. I got completely lost in the depth.. I trembled, and when I began coming out of being 'essentially unconscious' I returned to a more conscious meditation and heard an uninterupted buzzing sound emitted from the area of my navel for over a minute. I stopped this. I could not believe it could come from body, but it was so. Very freaky. I am thinking how terrible this experience, and yet I am most tempted to go here again. This is very horrible and dark, and I feel a pain of my psyche. I have only known the light; I am led by my own desire to get to darker places that perhaps Kaomea knows from her witnessing heavy experiences. I feel sick.
okay ..I got your message, but maybe more like hunting than fishing with lures, dearest, I will see the arrow sideways thru your guts like in a dream I posted.