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[Billy]

serloco:  "I do not want to generate shame without reason and do not find it a pleasent emotion to intend into me without purpose. It is a tool for me, an awareness generated from a violation of my perceptions of right and wrong, and as such I use it for that purpose alone, to learn from and to bring to my attention the acts that generated that feeling."

billy:
I generate shame purely from reason.  It is a tool for me also, but you are using this tool backwards because of social conditioning.
What is called shame, is the phenomenolgical recognition of separation and withdrawal from the world and other entities.  You yourself had nasty descriptions of rotting humanity and saw that it was part of you too.  Yet, no matter how expansive, you ultimately get those fumes.

   I have several techniques to empirically grasp my own rot & meaninglessness.  First, to make it more tangible I often use the word worthless.  The idea of being worthless is yummy to me.  Understand, I maintain conventional images of pride, self-esteem, standing, etc., but I draw to the reality.  I SEE myself as an abased object.  When I finally conceive myself as a worthless piece of **** excreted out of  a world from which I do not personally want to be retained, something amazing can happen.
   I coax my own negation, and fulfill the sense of abandoning self.   There are falls into wallow of super-generative euphoria, rapture, melting, ecstasy.  This is so empty, so pure.

  I also can do this via an imagined inward tunnel with want of self-annihilation.  I go deep into my impotence and darkness.  There is greater and greater effects of hopelessness and despair because I am unable to disappear from the world.  So deeper and deeper I go.  The expansive void is a deadening cold and futile emptiness.
Comes an acquisence in being where I am.  Do you imagine that?

I also can do a pretty good logical reduction using reason to tell me how I could not possibly have pride if I were GOD or created by GOD.  I SEE I have no value in infinite energy no matter how many possibilities of design.

   So why is my position an advantage?
   I have learned to make my position a foundation of my perception.  I draw to it, I feel it my heart and whole body too.  My position permeates, so as to be true.  I easily traverse with its resource to conventional ego.  This resource is limitless.  I had to adjust directing the surplus energy (a continuing process).  I am becoming powerful and invulnerable.
  Invulnerable, because of that crazy universal law of reverse effort.  I have come to LOVE my self-criticism that springs from wrong actions.  I get a boost because I can more easily access my emptiness (This is SO positive that there are virtually no wrong actions).  
   Instead I am 'stuck' with pride and 'too much' self-worth.  I laughed for five minutes when I thought to tell you this.  You know I am not contriving anything here.  I have fine-tuned this over the last months.  I don't obsess either.  I need only remind myself the position exists (a heart's love of my own dirt).  {note* gaining the effects early on will make practice 'addictive'--this is okay}

    I know the rational principles behind this, and it is not difficult to show someone.  This is not masochism; simply acknowledge self-detachment beforehand and let yourself go.
  Practice here becomes a very solid, dependable grounding for every other thought and action in life.
  The humbleness of your self-evaluation that you are truly disgusting (and believe me, spend ten minutes with me and I'll show you), will serve you.  It lends itself to make every 'face' you wear fluid, strong, confident, poised, and fun.  (You will find yourself laughing and joyful.)
    The one trait that never leaves you, the best one, is an underlayment of peace and equanimity.

  I tried to reword shame as withdrawal (which it is) to make it more palatable to try, but isn't that missing the point?  Experiment a little.  If anyone has questions i will help.