02-06-2015, 12:01 AM
May I? I live in a positively insulated life condition. I contributed to that. Now, if I were to face financial or bodily ruin, or dimentia, I'm certain I would not be happy about that. Nevertheless, I consciously went about becoming perceptually secure. That is to say, no typical states of mind are a threat. The 'Patrick Ness-like/Demonic unknown' state was one of those last arenas.
Ideas of doubt, fear, damnation, death, despair now only feed me. When I begin to have ANY negative emotion, I get that initial jolt what it pertains to in the unsavory sense and immediately an automatic switch goes on so I surge with the release of positive bodily chemicals. I GET OFF on negative...... and so naturally I'm not afraid. I have tried to invite them (negative feelings, states) but after I show my affinity they won't even stay around for me though I desire them so. I made an earlier post to the effect that I'm becoming "stuck with 'good' emotions and high self-esteem." I was not joking.
I saw your excitement in last post, 'walking down the street...' that you'll soon give that to me. The fact you can reason it out may help, but I may get it empirically regardless.
This afternoon I heard this-- it's for you-- I am a romantic. (see next post)
Ideas of doubt, fear, damnation, death, despair now only feed me. When I begin to have ANY negative emotion, I get that initial jolt what it pertains to in the unsavory sense and immediately an automatic switch goes on so I surge with the release of positive bodily chemicals. I GET OFF on negative...... and so naturally I'm not afraid. I have tried to invite them (negative feelings, states) but after I show my affinity they won't even stay around for me though I desire them so. I made an earlier post to the effect that I'm becoming "stuck with 'good' emotions and high self-esteem." I was not joking.
I saw your excitement in last post, 'walking down the street...' that you'll soon give that to me. The fact you can reason it out may help, but I may get it empirically regardless.
This afternoon I heard this-- it's for you-- I am a romantic. (see next post)