01-29-2016, 12:01 AM
I emphasize over and over the focus is not on the new and improved autonomy and manifesting. These are understood as what you call around here 'putting the tonal in order.' This is necessary for sure, but only in so much as they show me what I am. That is they don't make me what I am; they are to be SEEN as a reflection of my stillness and purity made manifest by my emptiness (from having died).
What death actually had occured? Answer: the cessation of illusion {illusion of selves (perhaps even SELF)}
I CANNOT explain the paradox of SELF and even selves arising truthfully. I mean, I (billy) is freely authentic and REAL. And still, I have not improved or changed hardly whatsoever. HERE is the point of this one entry..
EVERYTHING I have talked about (including the use and objectifying of my shame earlier).. EVERYTHING is reduced to trusting billy.............. which is peculiar to me, because all the words and empirical experiences now tell me that this was a choice always available to me. That is, it is a choice to me now too. I mean, when I wake up tomorrow I will choose to trust myself.
This is not onerous and chimerical as it seems to imply (in my case), because now this self trust is fixed in my intent. The resource of emptiness allows the capacity of intent to be used willfully, and rather easily once I have gotten the hang of it.
One thing is certain, the emptiness is NOT an illusion. It is as good as gold > and laughing at how words are silly, but the only avenue I knew to get where I am. Where am I? HERE, HERE I AM.
billy deciding to write here is mysterious nonetheless.
What death actually had occured? Answer: the cessation of illusion {illusion of selves (perhaps even SELF)}
I CANNOT explain the paradox of SELF and even selves arising truthfully. I mean, I (billy) is freely authentic and REAL. And still, I have not improved or changed hardly whatsoever. HERE is the point of this one entry..
EVERYTHING I have talked about (including the use and objectifying of my shame earlier).. EVERYTHING is reduced to trusting billy.............. which is peculiar to me, because all the words and empirical experiences now tell me that this was a choice always available to me. That is, it is a choice to me now too. I mean, when I wake up tomorrow I will choose to trust myself.
This is not onerous and chimerical as it seems to imply (in my case), because now this self trust is fixed in my intent. The resource of emptiness allows the capacity of intent to be used willfully, and rather easily once I have gotten the hang of it.
One thing is certain, the emptiness is NOT an illusion. It is as good as gold > and laughing at how words are silly, but the only avenue I knew to get where I am. Where am I? HERE, HERE I AM.
billy deciding to write here is mysterious nonetheless.