03-21-2014, 12:00 AM
shamanka wrote:maybe you'd like to write your own philosophy here JJ..im sure you are confident enough.. xIf you wish. My philosophy on this topic, specifically how men and women "should" relate to each other romantically, is based on everyone having as much freedom as possible and seeing people as individuals; not as members of groups with specific rules for behaving. Find whatever you can that works best for you, and let other people do it for themselves without trying to fit their relationships into the mold that you think they should be.
That really should be all that needs to be said about it, but unfortunately people have these expectations and roles that they feel a right to assign to others based on what they were born and this causes problems. Worse still, these roles are heavily enforced by society and especially the God-forsaken television so people end up identifying with them. People have extreme trouble being rational and open-minded towards ideas that contradict their identity beliefs. Even when those beliefs are harmful to themselves, people still often protect the heirarchy in which they've placed their own self-identity; when those heirarchical rules are to one's benefit its a rare person indeed who has the ability to object to them on principal. So when others fail to provide them with things the heirarchy teaches them are their entitlements, women such as Kelly Marceau blame others rather than question the reasonableness of their own demand that men conform to the heirarchical rules. If only all women would be like her, "good", and refuse to date all the bad, unattractive, icky men who aren't acting the way that she wants them to then all those unacceptable men would be forced to be what she wants them to be.
Of course, those rules really aren't serving anyone well, (the powers that be who designed them planned it that way). Its no real surprise that Kelly is having trouble finding men who meet her standard for "real man" while simultaneously cowtailing to her every demand and ignoring her verbal abuse. When she tells men that if they don't pay for the first date with her they won't get a second one every man who hasn't totally let himself be brainwashed into accepting his position in the heirarcy and has any self esteem would ask himself "What's the down side?". Men who do keep paying for dates have ego issues, (which of course women like Kelly use as another weapon to attack them, rather than looking at how her contribution in putting them into a lesser position in the heirarchy has contributed to the problem), because simply adults with good egos don't feel obligated to pay for some other adult to eat dinner just because of what kind of body you were born with.
I feel Kelly, and anyone else, would be much better served by dropping any expectations and just seeing who the people she meets really are. If she finds herself attracted to someone and it turns romantic, great! Lets hope she keeps her demands from getting in the way and preventing her from experiencing that happiness.
That really should be all that needs to be said about it, but unfortunately people have these expectations and roles that they feel a right to assign to others based on what they were born and this causes problems. Worse still, these roles are heavily enforced by society and especially the God-forsaken television so people end up identifying with them. People have extreme trouble being rational and open-minded towards ideas that contradict their identity beliefs. Even when those beliefs are harmful to themselves, people still often protect the heirarchy in which they've placed their own self-identity; when those heirarchical rules are to one's benefit its a rare person indeed who has the ability to object to them on principal. So when others fail to provide them with things the heirarchy teaches them are their entitlements, women such as Kelly Marceau blame others rather than question the reasonableness of their own demand that men conform to the heirarchical rules. If only all women would be like her, "good", and refuse to date all the bad, unattractive, icky men who aren't acting the way that she wants them to then all those unacceptable men would be forced to be what she wants them to be.
Of course, those rules really aren't serving anyone well, (the powers that be who designed them planned it that way). Its no real surprise that Kelly is having trouble finding men who meet her standard for "real man" while simultaneously cowtailing to her every demand and ignoring her verbal abuse. When she tells men that if they don't pay for the first date with her they won't get a second one every man who hasn't totally let himself be brainwashed into accepting his position in the heirarcy and has any self esteem would ask himself "What's the down side?". Men who do keep paying for dates have ego issues, (which of course women like Kelly use as another weapon to attack them, rather than looking at how her contribution in putting them into a lesser position in the heirarchy has contributed to the problem), because simply adults with good egos don't feel obligated to pay for some other adult to eat dinner just because of what kind of body you were born with.
I feel Kelly, and anyone else, would be much better served by dropping any expectations and just seeing who the people she meets really are. If she finds herself attracted to someone and it turns romantic, great! Lets hope she keeps her demands from getting in the way and preventing her from experiencing that happiness.