05-23-2009, 12:00 AM
LoneWolf,
Thanks for sharing about your dogs, it reminded me of a dog we had when I was a kid, a border collie named Angel, she was my buddy and early in the morning
I'd get up, make cinnamon toast ,and share it with her; she was a sweet friend but she was naturally energetic and when my dad got drunk she would get on
his nerves and he was mean to her. One day, I thnk it was a Sunday, he was all pissed and loaded my mom, me and my two sisters into our little blue volkswagon
and drove to the country and dumped her, I can still see her running after us, getting further away and the hurt look and confusion on her face and I
couldn't stop it. Years later, about 8 years ago I guess, I was working on making peace with my dad and reconnecting to him. I used to go to his grave at
night and talk to him. One night I was out there talking to him on my knees with my head on the ground, eyes closed and I felt Angel run up to me and I knew
she was okay then and I felt like my dad brough her and was saying sorry. The next dog we had was a Boston Terrior named Mugsy,I remember dad kicking him and
he became a very nervous dog who would sometimes bite. When my mom divorced dad we moved and for some reason, I thnk because he bit, mom gave him to an old
veterenarian who said he was going to keep Mugsy but he ended up selling Mugsy as a stud dog to the sherrif of the small town we were living in. I was friends
with his daughter so I got to see mugsy sometimes and they kept him and the other dogs in a dog pen out back, Mugsy jumped out of that fence which must have
been at least 6 feet so then the guy put boards at the top to stop that. Then Mugsy ended up dying and I don't remember what my friend said it was from but
I always thought it was because that guy fed them slop--gross left overs molding and rotting. I don't know though. It is so sad what people do to dogs and
children and themselves. I've been sitting here crying with the memories of this. There was a real cool sray dog that ran that town, a medium sized black
curly coated, terrior headed free dog who used to come to my house and my friend Kelly's. I can't remember what we called him but some of the other
kids in town who didn't like me didn't like him either and they called him snowball, an insult to his mostly coal black coat I thought. They told me
and kelly about throwing rocks at him when he came by their places. That dog liked to chase cars and ended up getting hit by one. If I remember right, and this
part is a little fuzzy, me and my friends Maria and Kelly took him out to a wooded area to bury him but couldn't dig the hole deep enough so we left him
there and I felt bad about that but it was the place for him, a little wilderness accross the tracks. Hope I remember his name but it eludes me just now. Later
in life, there was a period of time when I couldn't get too close with dogs and I think it was an avoidance thing. My ex had two dogs who were indoor dogs
but when I had kids I told him they had to live outside and he built a dog pen. The poor dogs didn't get enough attention out there and this is something I
don't like that I did to those dogs. I know I acted, on a previous post, like I have never recapitulated, but to clarify, I have done some when something
in my life at the time triggered things from my past. When I have tried to do so formally I usually can't get to the emotions within the memories, plus I
think my fear gets in the way. I did start a list of all the people I have met a couple of nights ago and intend keeping at it this time. Life is too short to
wait for spontaneous recollection and I know all to well how those soul deaths unretrieved can make a heart cold.
Thankyou again Lonewolf.
Thanks for sharing about your dogs, it reminded me of a dog we had when I was a kid, a border collie named Angel, she was my buddy and early in the morning
I'd get up, make cinnamon toast ,and share it with her; she was a sweet friend but she was naturally energetic and when my dad got drunk she would get on
his nerves and he was mean to her. One day, I thnk it was a Sunday, he was all pissed and loaded my mom, me and my two sisters into our little blue volkswagon
and drove to the country and dumped her, I can still see her running after us, getting further away and the hurt look and confusion on her face and I
couldn't stop it. Years later, about 8 years ago I guess, I was working on making peace with my dad and reconnecting to him. I used to go to his grave at
night and talk to him. One night I was out there talking to him on my knees with my head on the ground, eyes closed and I felt Angel run up to me and I knew
she was okay then and I felt like my dad brough her and was saying sorry. The next dog we had was a Boston Terrior named Mugsy,I remember dad kicking him and
he became a very nervous dog who would sometimes bite. When my mom divorced dad we moved and for some reason, I thnk because he bit, mom gave him to an old
veterenarian who said he was going to keep Mugsy but he ended up selling Mugsy as a stud dog to the sherrif of the small town we were living in. I was friends
with his daughter so I got to see mugsy sometimes and they kept him and the other dogs in a dog pen out back, Mugsy jumped out of that fence which must have
been at least 6 feet so then the guy put boards at the top to stop that. Then Mugsy ended up dying and I don't remember what my friend said it was from but
I always thought it was because that guy fed them slop--gross left overs molding and rotting. I don't know though. It is so sad what people do to dogs and
children and themselves. I've been sitting here crying with the memories of this. There was a real cool sray dog that ran that town, a medium sized black
curly coated, terrior headed free dog who used to come to my house and my friend Kelly's. I can't remember what we called him but some of the other
kids in town who didn't like me didn't like him either and they called him snowball, an insult to his mostly coal black coat I thought. They told me
and kelly about throwing rocks at him when he came by their places. That dog liked to chase cars and ended up getting hit by one. If I remember right, and this
part is a little fuzzy, me and my friends Maria and Kelly took him out to a wooded area to bury him but couldn't dig the hole deep enough so we left him
there and I felt bad about that but it was the place for him, a little wilderness accross the tracks. Hope I remember his name but it eludes me just now. Later
in life, there was a period of time when I couldn't get too close with dogs and I think it was an avoidance thing. My ex had two dogs who were indoor dogs
but when I had kids I told him they had to live outside and he built a dog pen. The poor dogs didn't get enough attention out there and this is something I
don't like that I did to those dogs. I know I acted, on a previous post, like I have never recapitulated, but to clarify, I have done some when something
in my life at the time triggered things from my past. When I have tried to do so formally I usually can't get to the emotions within the memories, plus I
think my fear gets in the way. I did start a list of all the people I have met a couple of nights ago and intend keeping at it this time. Life is too short to
wait for spontaneous recollection and I know all to well how those soul deaths unretrieved can make a heart cold.
Thankyou again Lonewolf.