08-18-2005, 12:00 AM
I am trying to figure out the connection between dreaming when asleep (and not lucid but vaguely aware), dreaming when sleeping and lucid (atleast somewhat) and what I would call visualisation/meditation AND THE EFFECT IT HAS ON MY LIFE.
It is very odd...my inner life as mirrored in the real world proves again and again to be related to things I've visualised in meditation. I would say about a year after maybe or so it appears. At one point one just recognizes eventhough rarely exactly the same.
Then there is the teacher check up dreams or something like that which are sort of aware I suppose to check growth when one can't pretend. Good thing I am so nice (though still a little bit to violent for my own ego to feel pleased).
I wonder if I alter or create things through dreaming or just see things alittlebit in advance.
I am also thinking a bit about future as in when I was married all I could see was a dark tunnel for future but if we parted I could see light in the tunnel that way. (This was perhaps four years ago.) Hence should have known it was a dead end...and that something would happen. Perhaps though it is hard to see things in future when I don't want to (as for example a divorce). And should settle for the black.
(My hands smell Kasper who is now two, small, fury and black. And likes people eventhough he is just a dog.)
I went riding the other day, on a vulcano horse appearently cause named Hekla. There was a whole party and was interesting ride because ther is three ways.
1. Ordinary pleasures of riding in nature.
2. In the woods, sort of although flying above head. What is happening, what is that about.
3. Short glimpes of elvenlike party like Tolkien travel. Beautiful and light, tail to tail like beeds on a string.
The woman who owns the stable is a healer, very nice. I am making a homepage for her. Turning out quite well.
I saw the most beautiful moon today, so large and almost orange with the misty glow of amazing breathing and wispering august black night. Hardly any stars yet, just this godgiven gift.
I am looking into christianity this fall. Read about the crusifixtion the other day, change two small words at one point and the story is actually about a woman shaman's development. How absurd...could be off course. The Jesus story doen's really make sense if not looked at symbolically but then it is rather interesting. Well, it will be interesting to see where this road leads. I found a nice saint of mine, who guides the road to Santiago de Compostella. Important, should think so. Felt light when took it.
Basically it is another day and no lover flown away. I don't need "you" to end this for me, or perhaps I do should say it, perhaps but really for you Hejd will name it.
Thought my bike was stolen today, after an inner conversation about a sneaky visit to collect loose ends. It wasn't really, I just forgot where I put it on my last journey. So now I have to go and collect it tomorrow, bother :-). Is not god for my reputation as is already doomed with bad memory after electricution and head failure.
I just wanted to file a complaint about hitting my house with lightning, blew the wires it did and I thought my modem and TV was broke but wasn't really my fault as I had to explain. They fixed though and fast too but it is indeed sureal when seeing clearly in a flah and then being hit by lightening for real in the same moment. Sheeeeesh you are such a bother.
It is very odd...my inner life as mirrored in the real world proves again and again to be related to things I've visualised in meditation. I would say about a year after maybe or so it appears. At one point one just recognizes eventhough rarely exactly the same.
Then there is the teacher check up dreams or something like that which are sort of aware I suppose to check growth when one can't pretend. Good thing I am so nice (though still a little bit to violent for my own ego to feel pleased).
I wonder if I alter or create things through dreaming or just see things alittlebit in advance.
I am also thinking a bit about future as in when I was married all I could see was a dark tunnel for future but if we parted I could see light in the tunnel that way. (This was perhaps four years ago.) Hence should have known it was a dead end...and that something would happen. Perhaps though it is hard to see things in future when I don't want to (as for example a divorce). And should settle for the black.
(My hands smell Kasper who is now two, small, fury and black. And likes people eventhough he is just a dog.)
I went riding the other day, on a vulcano horse appearently cause named Hekla. There was a whole party and was interesting ride because ther is three ways.
1. Ordinary pleasures of riding in nature.
2. In the woods, sort of although flying above head. What is happening, what is that about.
3. Short glimpes of elvenlike party like Tolkien travel. Beautiful and light, tail to tail like beeds on a string.
The woman who owns the stable is a healer, very nice. I am making a homepage for her. Turning out quite well.
I saw the most beautiful moon today, so large and almost orange with the misty glow of amazing breathing and wispering august black night. Hardly any stars yet, just this godgiven gift.
I am looking into christianity this fall. Read about the crusifixtion the other day, change two small words at one point and the story is actually about a woman shaman's development. How absurd...could be off course. The Jesus story doen's really make sense if not looked at symbolically but then it is rather interesting. Well, it will be interesting to see where this road leads. I found a nice saint of mine, who guides the road to Santiago de Compostella. Important, should think so. Felt light when took it.
Basically it is another day and no lover flown away. I don't need "you" to end this for me, or perhaps I do should say it, perhaps but really for you Hejd will name it.
Thought my bike was stolen today, after an inner conversation about a sneaky visit to collect loose ends. It wasn't really, I just forgot where I put it on my last journey. So now I have to go and collect it tomorrow, bother :-). Is not god for my reputation as is already doomed with bad memory after electricution and head failure.
I just wanted to file a complaint about hitting my house with lightning, blew the wires it did and I thought my modem and TV was broke but wasn't really my fault as I had to explain. They fixed though and fast too but it is indeed sureal when seeing clearly in a flah and then being hit by lightening for real in the same moment. Sheeeeesh you are such a bother.