02-27-2017, 12:04 AM
serloco wrote:I know now that extreme hardship merely expands our love of the small things, and enhances the experience of joy and life.
Yeah. It sort of sucks how that works. Obviously everyone suffers--it's just to what degree do people differ. If I hadn't of suffered, I wouldn't know the joys I need in my life. In fact, I wouldn't even need joy. I only know joy because I've known sadness. I only know loyalty because I've met betrayal. I only know love because I met hate. Without something to compare, I would remain ignorant. Would I rather be ignorant and not know pain--or would I rather know pain and pursue joy. Such crappy choices
Breaking routines is a great suggestion to slow time. I've known that as breaking patterns, but I can't always identify MY patterns. I can see patterns in others just fine though To be fair, I prefer to run from personal closeness with others. That frightens me. I've had many bad experiences associated with personal closeness. A few at this site, in fact. Elias123 was declared (can't recall if he was self-declared or NLW declared) a Nagual when I first met him. I PMed, that night we had a shared dream (this is when I didn't know sharing dreams was a thing yet). After this he brought me into his inner circle. A few months later he declared me evil and ejected me from the group. I'm trying to remember what I did. I think I wasn't behaving appropriately, that sounds pretty accurate. I didn't care enough about him is what it boiled down to. I'm sure there are some logs of that somewhere around the site. I was removed from RF. Some time later I was to come back into RF (forget why). Elias told Wolf I wasn't allowed back. Wolf ignored Elias and let me back Anyway. My pattern seems to involve befriending people who later decide they don't want me because I'm not giving them what they expect me to give them. I've never intentionally tried to piss those people off either. After the first few times I realized being close to people hurts me when they decide I'm not.... appropriate. Perhaps that's why I'm so quick, if I remain in one place for too long then I get hurt. If I move fast enough, people can't keep up. They can't hurt me because I'm no longer around to be hurt lol.
You bring up a fair point--to make every moment count. I do stop to smell the roses, I just need three seconds instead of three hours.
Also, you mention shields, blocks, and curses to ward out evil intrusions. I realize religion often pushes the concept of evil, but I personally wonder if evil is real. Instead of blocking "evil" thoughts, you could opt to understand what is driving you to act, then find another way to meet that same need; one which doesn't hurt others. If you deny the experience, those denials often slip through the cracks and somewhat haunt the mind. If you address them then you can eliminate them. Mastery, then elimination over your thoughts instead of only eliminating your thoughts. If you don't understand why you're having those thoughts then the pattern will continue to repeat in new ways. I'm currently trying to spot my own patterns. Running seems to be my most obvious pattern. Yet I run to avoid upsetting people. I upset people by being myself, by accidentally walking into their sensitive spots. Then all hell breaks loose. I don't know how to fix that pattern of mine. I've been avoiding closeness to stop that pattern. When I do allow closeness, I run into the same issue of stumbling into sensitive spots and then I'm chased with pitchforks this tells me I need to find closeness with people who accept my "evil" xD Rather, I need to be around a different type of people. I don't know how to find those people either. I mean, I found you. You seem very open to my limitations of being. Glance and Sen have also been pretty open about my inadequacies. Others too have tolerated me well enough. Needless to say, it's been a tough pattern to break. For now, I suppose avoiding personal closeness is the best method to stop the pattern--but being alone all the time sort of sucks lol.
Yeah. It sort of sucks how that works. Obviously everyone suffers--it's just to what degree do people differ. If I hadn't of suffered, I wouldn't know the joys I need in my life. In fact, I wouldn't even need joy. I only know joy because I've known sadness. I only know loyalty because I've met betrayal. I only know love because I met hate. Without something to compare, I would remain ignorant. Would I rather be ignorant and not know pain--or would I rather know pain and pursue joy. Such crappy choices
Breaking routines is a great suggestion to slow time. I've known that as breaking patterns, but I can't always identify MY patterns. I can see patterns in others just fine though To be fair, I prefer to run from personal closeness with others. That frightens me. I've had many bad experiences associated with personal closeness. A few at this site, in fact. Elias123 was declared (can't recall if he was self-declared or NLW declared) a Nagual when I first met him. I PMed, that night we had a shared dream (this is when I didn't know sharing dreams was a thing yet). After this he brought me into his inner circle. A few months later he declared me evil and ejected me from the group. I'm trying to remember what I did. I think I wasn't behaving appropriately, that sounds pretty accurate. I didn't care enough about him is what it boiled down to. I'm sure there are some logs of that somewhere around the site. I was removed from RF. Some time later I was to come back into RF (forget why). Elias told Wolf I wasn't allowed back. Wolf ignored Elias and let me back Anyway. My pattern seems to involve befriending people who later decide they don't want me because I'm not giving them what they expect me to give them. I've never intentionally tried to piss those people off either. After the first few times I realized being close to people hurts me when they decide I'm not.... appropriate. Perhaps that's why I'm so quick, if I remain in one place for too long then I get hurt. If I move fast enough, people can't keep up. They can't hurt me because I'm no longer around to be hurt lol.
You bring up a fair point--to make every moment count. I do stop to smell the roses, I just need three seconds instead of three hours.
Also, you mention shields, blocks, and curses to ward out evil intrusions. I realize religion often pushes the concept of evil, but I personally wonder if evil is real. Instead of blocking "evil" thoughts, you could opt to understand what is driving you to act, then find another way to meet that same need; one which doesn't hurt others. If you deny the experience, those denials often slip through the cracks and somewhat haunt the mind. If you address them then you can eliminate them. Mastery, then elimination over your thoughts instead of only eliminating your thoughts. If you don't understand why you're having those thoughts then the pattern will continue to repeat in new ways. I'm currently trying to spot my own patterns. Running seems to be my most obvious pattern. Yet I run to avoid upsetting people. I upset people by being myself, by accidentally walking into their sensitive spots. Then all hell breaks loose. I don't know how to fix that pattern of mine. I've been avoiding closeness to stop that pattern. When I do allow closeness, I run into the same issue of stumbling into sensitive spots and then I'm chased with pitchforks this tells me I need to find closeness with people who accept my "evil" xD Rather, I need to be around a different type of people. I don't know how to find those people either. I mean, I found you. You seem very open to my limitations of being. Glance and Sen have also been pretty open about my inadequacies. Others too have tolerated me well enough. Needless to say, it's been a tough pattern to break. For now, I suppose avoiding personal closeness is the best method to stop the pattern--but being alone all the time sort of sucks lol.