Sorcery experiences

[serloco]

I used to be so much into don Juan that I intended almost every piece of knowledge he had onto my self and my world. I remember reading that warriors do not ever cry. I had intended this state upon myself and for many years I could not shed even a tear. Every time I felt a tear coming my body would stop it dead in its tracks and i was unable. For awhile this suited me and I was OK with it, happy in fact that I could not shed a tear even if I tried. When I got into the iob world I asked one of my allies for help to feel again, for I had not just lost my ability to cry but I had lost many feelings. I knew that this iob ally could help me and so I asked her. The next few hours I become a rapid cycling bi-polar and my feelings went on an uncontrollable roller coaster ride. Joyous one moment and in a pure rage the next. It was dreadful. It took me about a week to get my feelings back in my control again and i wandered the city i was in for that week as an insane bipolar. A few years later my position of awareness shifted back to my warrior state that could not cry again and I again wanted to feel and most of all i wanted the joyful feeling of release that I got from crying. Indeed I love to cry and find it most beautiful. Such a natural release of emotion I find it freeing. I knew not to ask my allies again for feelings and although I knew they could do it without making me insane I did not want for them to help e again for my fear of losing control again. Instead I prayed and asked God for his perfect help. I was pacing around in my motel room waiting for something to happen and God possessed me and moved me to tears but every time it would be blocked by my energy body. Again he would move me ad again it would stop but every time I would get closer to actual tears before it was cut off. It didn't take God long before i was balling my eyes out and praising His Name and thanking Him for his help and perfection. Oh what a joy it is to be able to cry and to feel that release. release.. I love that word. I cried the other night too, just a couple of days ago.. I can cry on command now and it takes me just a few seconds to being my release. Oh yes feelings are a beautiful thing, and pain and sorrow I think needs a release.