08-16-2018, 12:01 AM
It is horrible.
I pioneered the path out of a kind of guilt, friends were molested or raped and I could " see" the intent of those who had done it as a kind of thorn, I wanted to pull the thorn out. This led me to stalking, but as I couldn't rape or molest in order to fashion an actual thorn to withdraw, I had to take it down from the inside.
It created massive psychosis for me.
If you imagine for a moment that I have been stabbed with a crystal clear thorn , the hilt of which is a kind of glass window through which you can see my insides. Now imagine the rage and pain ( primal scream) of every cell of me that is touched by the thorn, displaced from its natural peace as screaming through that viewing window.
Well I walked up to rape and abuse victims, up to that little window and felt all the hate as I tried to pull a thorn I never manufactured out. (Shivers)
What I was trying to achieve was a kind of selective exorcism , but as all possessed cannot differentiate where possessing entity and authentic self exist separately , every single strike I beckoned through the viewing window hit me squarely even though I was not in personal history GUILTY.
I pioneered the path out of a kind of guilt, friends were molested or raped and I could " see" the intent of those who had done it as a kind of thorn, I wanted to pull the thorn out. This led me to stalking, but as I couldn't rape or molest in order to fashion an actual thorn to withdraw, I had to take it down from the inside.
It created massive psychosis for me.
If you imagine for a moment that I have been stabbed with a crystal clear thorn , the hilt of which is a kind of glass window through which you can see my insides. Now imagine the rage and pain ( primal scream) of every cell of me that is touched by the thorn, displaced from its natural peace as screaming through that viewing window.
Well I walked up to rape and abuse victims, up to that little window and felt all the hate as I tried to pull a thorn I never manufactured out. (Shivers)
What I was trying to achieve was a kind of selective exorcism , but as all possessed cannot differentiate where possessing entity and authentic self exist separately , every single strike I beckoned through the viewing window hit me squarely even though I was not in personal history GUILTY.