Fear

[serloco]

Now I remember long ago reading in a shamanic book that many apprentices are lead in dreaming to face their fears. To challange them and tame them. I so badly wanted to be a shaman then and set my intent to align with the teachings. Over time I grew into a powerful and dangerous position of awareness. I knew that my every thought was active and generating reality. Every thought would come and be ready to jump out of my head and manifest. I fell into a position of awareness that was called "active fears'. This is where your thoughts run through all your fears and makes you manifest them. It is soooooooooo scary. Brutal. Over time I would be able to control my active fear position and suspend the fears from manifesting. However from time to time I fell into it and had to face my fears. Face my terror. It was very insane to witness so many fears, one after another, manifesting in your face. I had to grow to control my fears. I had to use my cotnrolled foly to draw strength from my fears. I grew to call on my fears myself. I had challenged fear itself and brought on the position. I learned there how to contorl them and how to not let them control me and manifest. I learned to control and guide the active awareness, the aignment that is reality. No longer could a fearful thought control me and guide me into hell. I learned to say no to my fears and stop them in their tracks. I learned trust. I still challenge my fears. I look them hovering before me, ready to pounce. The thing is I am safe because of what I empower. All my danger and trouble was from investing in a positon, or rather positions, of awareness and allowing them to encompass me. I got lost in them and formed great cohesion in them. I got rigid in the second attention making me always actively dreaming for years. Just one thought could manifest after another after another. I learned to handle power in motion, ready to blow up in yoour face. I learned to tame it. Over the years I earned what to empower and what to dismess and learned that the choice is mine. I began cutting away the position of active awareness and removed the activity from the fluid flow I was used to and stood my ground. I learned to examine awareness while it was a choice to activate or not, and them decide. No longer were thoughts jumping from my mind and manifesting. I stopped the fire. I controlled the decision what to empower. I empower my choice and my trust in the unknown. I trust my alliance with my allies and my reality. I am strong and blessed to have, and have had, the life I have now. Nothing can hurt me. NOthing can move me unless I want to be moved. Tellers and commands and all the old awareness that used to contorl me and my dream is deactivated and dead. I a no longer controlled. I am unmovable and firm. I stand my ground while others push and shove and try every trick in the book to move me and I am still. I gave my stregnth to my allies and they move only to my choice and theirs. I face my fears everyday. They keep me alert and ready to decide. The best thing I ever did is invest power, and move power. to my choice.