10-06-2014, 12:03 AM
The light stuff: When I was only nine years old I had vivid dreams wherein I articulated that I was absurdly (meaninglessly) alone. I take that as my truth of being generally, yet I lived a natural extroverted way.
I did not read much, but I read Ayn Rand and Carlos Castaneda eary on. A few other books of any significance were Art of War, Imitation of Christ, Molino's Spiritual Guide. For decades I really have only picked an excerpt randomly now and then (excepting Matt Sanford's Waking). I have almost always been non-theist. I entered the forum on my bent concerning 'shame' which came from an effective
recapitulation a la Don Juan. Shame was NOT part of my life generally. I will clarify that I used memories to create self-degradation and withdrawal in experimentation that took on immense magnitude to refix my existential position.
In my tonal, it is clear to me that modern human history (religion and culture) in relation to hundreds of millions of years of earth's evolution is virtually nothing---(AND this is forgetting Cosmos). So talk of devils and gods is unreal. Yes, the devil (persona) put his arm on my shoulder (he showed me an unspeakable horrid glimpse into eternal damnation. And too, I glimpsed into the incredible eternal joy as its counterpart.) In these experiences alone, I consider myself freakishly 'blessed.' Nevertheless, I don't understand how thinking stays in a box promoting human importance when only viewing dust of a jigsaw puzzle of infinite pieces. Our DNA is +99% that of monkeys and Neanderthal, but in a blink humans are central to EVERYTHING. SCREW THAT!
Now, I don't know what to make of existence, but I like sharing thoughts here with others. I want wholeness and ease-- I want peace. I do pretty good. Perhaps somehow, I will share ideas about that. (D) I am talking to myself (laughing and serious too), so leave me alone for a while (as you know to do at this time--in fact why not wait until after f***ing Christmas).
I did not read much, but I read Ayn Rand and Carlos Castaneda eary on. A few other books of any significance were Art of War, Imitation of Christ, Molino's Spiritual Guide. For decades I really have only picked an excerpt randomly now and then (excepting Matt Sanford's Waking). I have almost always been non-theist. I entered the forum on my bent concerning 'shame' which came from an effective
recapitulation a la Don Juan. Shame was NOT part of my life generally. I will clarify that I used memories to create self-degradation and withdrawal in experimentation that took on immense magnitude to refix my existential position.
In my tonal, it is clear to me that modern human history (religion and culture) in relation to hundreds of millions of years of earth's evolution is virtually nothing---(AND this is forgetting Cosmos). So talk of devils and gods is unreal. Yes, the devil (persona) put his arm on my shoulder (he showed me an unspeakable horrid glimpse into eternal damnation. And too, I glimpsed into the incredible eternal joy as its counterpart.) In these experiences alone, I consider myself freakishly 'blessed.' Nevertheless, I don't understand how thinking stays in a box promoting human importance when only viewing dust of a jigsaw puzzle of infinite pieces. Our DNA is +99% that of monkeys and Neanderthal, but in a blink humans are central to EVERYTHING. SCREW THAT!
Now, I don't know what to make of existence, but I like sharing thoughts here with others. I want wholeness and ease-- I want peace. I do pretty good. Perhaps somehow, I will share ideas about that. (D) I am talking to myself (laughing and serious too), so leave me alone for a while (as you know to do at this time--in fact why not wait until after f***ing Christmas).