12-24-2014, 12:04 AM
My gesture of Merry Christmas and gratitude Derekh. Hereon forever, I will address you as serloco, unless you say otherwise.
You know where I am as far as the range of dispositions. I know that you see everything, and it gives me to express even wildly--as that's where I am. However, I have broad disconnectivity that makes my emotions tame.
I SEE that I have no personal interest in you. I tend to look at the world as an object, and conversely I want to be an object in any contingency to world. BUT I DO WANT ITS CONNECTION TO ME. Why? Because, ironically, this accentuates my separation, my aloneness and makes me MORE alive.
Knowing the truth of my isolation makes my duality rich. You represent power of a world that could reject me as I might wish for. It does not matter that I lerarned to turn those manifestations conventionally with success.
Accepting or rejecting one another makes no difference here. I GET IT that I have a unique connection to you. It has no burden, and seemingly only spirit and power. The canvas of a subject is what I mean (to get off, pretending purpose skillfully).
I should tell you I read lots of what you post throughout (including just now catching up with December), but may not always follow other threads in future. I might look here only. You have your gestures to direct me of course.
I do withdraw artfully, and then words through books, music, dialogue, and reflection pull me back out in rather profound ways. I've found balance in detachment and the pseudo want of negation (both make me happy). Stress is a challenge intermittantly the last two years for sure (started after daughter forbade me from seeing her graduate Summa Cum Laude MBA--was inexcusable for me to be bothered too much--but it played out with sharp unrelenting outer scenarios that even a story teller could not fathom, let alone create. My life is perfect NOW given detachment, but I took unnecessary emotional hits to the gut).
serloco said: For me no pity is ruthlessness, but not cruelty...It removes the burden of the egocentric self...infinity...
U speak definitely of your stress pains. I conjure pain n rewrite it it definitively. Be very mindfull/aware of the names u apply to form them in the here n now. They can be crafted into nything n notging too. (CLEARLY)
you know billy i sure do enjoy depression. my feelings of sorrow and loss. my hurt forms of love are still love. and the awareness of these feelings are very beautiful to me...
Can't get Jackfruit here by the way (yet).
http://www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/ ... kaggs.html (note the titles= Its All Yours, Shame, The Perfect Release.) Will try posting the pictures below.
You know where I am as far as the range of dispositions. I know that you see everything, and it gives me to express even wildly--as that's where I am. However, I have broad disconnectivity that makes my emotions tame.
I SEE that I have no personal interest in you. I tend to look at the world as an object, and conversely I want to be an object in any contingency to world. BUT I DO WANT ITS CONNECTION TO ME. Why? Because, ironically, this accentuates my separation, my aloneness and makes me MORE alive.
Knowing the truth of my isolation makes my duality rich. You represent power of a world that could reject me as I might wish for. It does not matter that I lerarned to turn those manifestations conventionally with success.
Accepting or rejecting one another makes no difference here. I GET IT that I have a unique connection to you. It has no burden, and seemingly only spirit and power. The canvas of a subject is what I mean (to get off, pretending purpose skillfully).
I should tell you I read lots of what you post throughout (including just now catching up with December), but may not always follow other threads in future. I might look here only. You have your gestures to direct me of course.
I do withdraw artfully, and then words through books, music, dialogue, and reflection pull me back out in rather profound ways. I've found balance in detachment and the pseudo want of negation (both make me happy). Stress is a challenge intermittantly the last two years for sure (started after daughter forbade me from seeing her graduate Summa Cum Laude MBA--was inexcusable for me to be bothered too much--but it played out with sharp unrelenting outer scenarios that even a story teller could not fathom, let alone create. My life is perfect NOW given detachment, but I took unnecessary emotional hits to the gut).
serloco said: For me no pity is ruthlessness, but not cruelty...It removes the burden of the egocentric self...infinity...
U speak definitely of your stress pains. I conjure pain n rewrite it it definitively. Be very mindfull/aware of the names u apply to form them in the here n now. They can be crafted into nything n notging too. (CLEARLY)
you know billy i sure do enjoy depression. my feelings of sorrow and loss. my hurt forms of love are still love. and the awareness of these feelings are very beautiful to me...
Can't get Jackfruit here by the way (yet).
http://www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/ ... kaggs.html (note the titles= Its All Yours, Shame, The Perfect Release.) Will try posting the pictures below.