01-24-2015, 12:11 AM
Adjacent to what you said, I am going to share with you. My daughter changed just after 10, when she entered early adolescence with drugs, alcohol, sex and gave up nice friends to hang with untrustworthy persons. I was there for her at the point she nearly died from alcohol poisoning-- we had been closest of father daughter before all of this. I know my daughter was too ashamed to draw back to me. At one point I lost sight of that and turned it back on myself very briefly.
My daughter overcame all this to graduate Summa Cum Laude and launch a nice career, and I overcame the last major hurdle regarding judgement of externality.
My daughter is NOW communicating in the brief moments we do with a tone of connection, even warmth and remembering. But, again you will misunderstand as when I laid this all out originally in 'negative' connotation.
I got to the 'sacred' disposition I have now by forfeiting the value judgements of situations, conditions and life in general. It is irrelevant to me that my daughter is now warm as opposed to cold, in so much as it concerns me. Yes, I want for my daughter to be happy, and I know a strained relationship with her father is not good for her. That said, it does not change that joy, laughter, and silence of the heart are to be UNCONDITIONAL.
It was not obvious to SEE that once. I SEE that clearly now. I live like that. Now, you understand.
This is what one is out for--- why one chooses the path of DETACHMENT, and why one recapitulates to make that separation come vibrantly alive. We learn now to repossess EVERYTHING because it can no longer bind us. Even in our clinging desires we now trust our own unconditional authenticity.
This is free. AND following Don Juan, believing this is the trump card, but you can't just believe and let it go at that. To believe your own authenticity, you have to choose and go deeply to the heart of it.
YOUR heart. YOURS S. / billy. Man, I do effing love you S. / billy.
My daughter overcame all this to graduate Summa Cum Laude and launch a nice career, and I overcame the last major hurdle regarding judgement of externality.
My daughter is NOW communicating in the brief moments we do with a tone of connection, even warmth and remembering. But, again you will misunderstand as when I laid this all out originally in 'negative' connotation.
I got to the 'sacred' disposition I have now by forfeiting the value judgements of situations, conditions and life in general. It is irrelevant to me that my daughter is now warm as opposed to cold, in so much as it concerns me. Yes, I want for my daughter to be happy, and I know a strained relationship with her father is not good for her. That said, it does not change that joy, laughter, and silence of the heart are to be UNCONDITIONAL.
It was not obvious to SEE that once. I SEE that clearly now. I live like that. Now, you understand.
This is what one is out for--- why one chooses the path of DETACHMENT, and why one recapitulates to make that separation come vibrantly alive. We learn now to repossess EVERYTHING because it can no longer bind us. Even in our clinging desires we now trust our own unconditional authenticity.
This is free. AND following Don Juan, believing this is the trump card, but you can't just believe and let it go at that. To believe your own authenticity, you have to choose and go deeply to the heart of it.
YOUR heart. YOURS S. / billy. Man, I do effing love you S. / billy.