10-06-2011, 12:00 AM
Ravenmoon wrote:And how do you practice love and acceptance in the world Barefoot?
Accepting people where they are at. As a gay man I am often in situation where people are not accepting and even fearful and you should hear the kinds of comments that others feel inclined to say to me. Accepting people where they are at means accepting where they come from and allowing them to be how they are, and loving them as they are without requiring them to change. The majority of the USA does not accept gay marriage, or recognize the value someone such as myself places on my relationship with my partner, and although this has a definite impact on our lives it is what it is, a reflection of where people are at.
What changed this for me was when I told my father, whom I loved and adored and was always trying to win his affection. When I came out to my father he couldn't speak to me and this went on for years. I was crushed...at first. Eventually I gave up and involved myself with my life without my father. For a while I had a great life and I believed myself to be over wanting his approval. However, when my father began experiencing the affects of heart disease I was forced to confront all the old feelings that lay buried of how much it hurt me that he could no longer accept me. During the trip home, however, I came to a place where I could accept my father and love him as he was without needing him to accept me...and this proved to be a real catharsis for me.
I suppose it doesn't mean much for others, but for me it was life changing. As I worked on meditation and expanding my consciousness the impact of the experience with my father allowed me to see people where they are at and be ok with that. It allowed me to see that there were things that people had to work out as part of their evolution and that process of evolution was beautiful to me. I could force my point of view on people, make them feel as though they should accept gay people, but then I realized that their inability to accept my gayness and my being openly gay was a part of the evolutionary process. This awakening made it possible for me to accept people where they are at. It also made it possible, because I saw the evolutionary process as divinely beautiful, to have such reverance for the process as to let it takes its course without needing to interfer with it. Seeing someone in their evolutionary process, usually while they are making disparaging remarks against me or my partner, I am filled with love for them.
Now that I have described how I practice acceptance and love, consider how you feel when someone feels they need to fix you? Although they might have the best of intentions, does it leave you feeling loved?
The desire to fix others comes from the place where one sees others as suffering. There are a lot of people in this world who think homosexuality is an illness that needs fixing and there are many who would try to fix me if I gave them a chance. I could stand in the place where I see those who do not accept homosexuality as suffering and desire to fix them. However, that point of view and those desires, however well intentioned, have very little to do with love and usually do not leave the recipient feeling that they are loved...just something to consider.
Accepting people where they are at. As a gay man I am often in situation where people are not accepting and even fearful and you should hear the kinds of comments that others feel inclined to say to me. Accepting people where they are at means accepting where they come from and allowing them to be how they are, and loving them as they are without requiring them to change. The majority of the USA does not accept gay marriage, or recognize the value someone such as myself places on my relationship with my partner, and although this has a definite impact on our lives it is what it is, a reflection of where people are at.
What changed this for me was when I told my father, whom I loved and adored and was always trying to win his affection. When I came out to my father he couldn't speak to me and this went on for years. I was crushed...at first. Eventually I gave up and involved myself with my life without my father. For a while I had a great life and I believed myself to be over wanting his approval. However, when my father began experiencing the affects of heart disease I was forced to confront all the old feelings that lay buried of how much it hurt me that he could no longer accept me. During the trip home, however, I came to a place where I could accept my father and love him as he was without needing him to accept me...and this proved to be a real catharsis for me.
I suppose it doesn't mean much for others, but for me it was life changing. As I worked on meditation and expanding my consciousness the impact of the experience with my father allowed me to see people where they are at and be ok with that. It allowed me to see that there were things that people had to work out as part of their evolution and that process of evolution was beautiful to me. I could force my point of view on people, make them feel as though they should accept gay people, but then I realized that their inability to accept my gayness and my being openly gay was a part of the evolutionary process. This awakening made it possible for me to accept people where they are at. It also made it possible, because I saw the evolutionary process as divinely beautiful, to have such reverance for the process as to let it takes its course without needing to interfer with it. Seeing someone in their evolutionary process, usually while they are making disparaging remarks against me or my partner, I am filled with love for them.
Now that I have described how I practice acceptance and love, consider how you feel when someone feels they need to fix you? Although they might have the best of intentions, does it leave you feeling loved?
The desire to fix others comes from the place where one sees others as suffering. There are a lot of people in this world who think homosexuality is an illness that needs fixing and there are many who would try to fix me if I gave them a chance. I could stand in the place where I see those who do not accept homosexuality as suffering and desire to fix them. However, that point of view and those desires, however well intentioned, have very little to do with love and usually do not leave the recipient feeling that they are loved...just something to consider.