04-22-2010, 12:01 AM
Nagual LoneWolf wrote:Thus back to the story.... I suffered through a depressing period in my life. I was living in a big house with barely any furniture. I was alone except for my
dogs. I remember a very hard period where I was so sick I couldn't barely survive. It was a cold winter. I slept on a couch in the living room because it
was close to bathroom and kitchen. (My bedroom was upstairs) My dog would sleep on my couch with me watching me and was my only comfort. For a week I could
barely move and had no reason to keep living I thought. This was when I lost my human form. A terrible fever came upon me and I shivered through the nights. I
knew that there was no one who would come for me and my dogs needed me for food and water so that I think was why I pulled through it. Out of the fire I was in
a sense reborn with a terrible state of mind. Looking back I was barely human. I friend sent me a book. It was called "The Art of Dreaming" by CC. I
was in shock for I didn't know he had released a new book and I delved deeply back into Nagualism. From that time I came into a new self. Power came back
to me. I was now truly Lone Wolf as you know me now. I've read about this sorcerers death in castaneda. My one book by Robert Moss also talks about a person having to die a symbolic death and then becomes reborn a Shaman. i wonder if my recent Death dream was predicting this. The messenger was a painter. he ahd paintings of people I knew that have influenced me. He said they had to die become what they are. But these people are still living to this day. The one woman, in the painting was the woman who brought me to my first sweat lodge where I had a vision.
dogs. I remember a very hard period where I was so sick I couldn't barely survive. It was a cold winter. I slept on a couch in the living room because it
was close to bathroom and kitchen. (My bedroom was upstairs) My dog would sleep on my couch with me watching me and was my only comfort. For a week I could
barely move and had no reason to keep living I thought. This was when I lost my human form. A terrible fever came upon me and I shivered through the nights. I
knew that there was no one who would come for me and my dogs needed me for food and water so that I think was why I pulled through it. Out of the fire I was in
a sense reborn with a terrible state of mind. Looking back I was barely human. I friend sent me a book. It was called "The Art of Dreaming" by CC. I
was in shock for I didn't know he had released a new book and I delved deeply back into Nagualism. From that time I came into a new self. Power came back
to me. I was now truly Lone Wolf as you know me now. I've read about this sorcerers death in castaneda. My one book by Robert Moss also talks about a person having to die a symbolic death and then becomes reborn a Shaman. i wonder if my recent Death dream was predicting this. The messenger was a painter. he ahd paintings of people I knew that have influenced me. He said they had to die become what they are. But these people are still living to this day. The one woman, in the painting was the woman who brought me to my first sweat lodge where I had a vision.