07-17-2009, 12:00 AM
Nagual Lonewolf wrote:
"Stalk what stalks you. How many know what this means?What is your answer? "
Here is a little story of an event that happened to me just a few weeks ago. It is a strange tale, and I have been wanting to post it to the "Warriors
Album" thread, but I held off, not being sure of it being album worthy. However, it stayed in my head, I knew I wanted to post it, I even got so far as
to type it up, only to delete it. Now here is my chance, as I think it illustrates how to stalk what stalks you.
I noticed that my dishwasher was leaking on the kitchen floor, so I told my husband about it and when he got home from work, he tried to fix it. He pulled it
out of the cabinets and found that a mouse had chewed a hole in the hose, as it had set up housekeeping behind the dishwasher. He pulled the dishwasher out
and put it in the dining room, he would put a new hose on it the next day. I imagine that mouse found its home missing, and probably faced the wrath of my
cats during the night. When I awoke, I saw my dog messing around with my tennis shoe, and I knew something had been on it, or in it. As I got out of bed and
walked toward my shoe, I noticed my cat crouching in front of a dresser, it could not get under it, but I knew the mouse was there. I must say, mice scare me,
bugs, snakes, spiders don't scare me, but for some reason, mice do, and I typically jump up on the closest thing around. I had to get to work, no one was
home, and I did not want to deal with the mouse. I decided to shower in my children's bathroom, in avoidance of the mouse. After my shower, I head very
cautiously into my bathroom, and of course the mouse had escaped to this room now, and was hiding behind a small chest, and my cat was sitting in front of it.
I watch as the mouse sneaks past the cat, and very slowly runs across my room and heads under my bed, at this point I think of how a lot of men would actually
stomp on the mouse with their foot, yikes, not me! Before I leave for work, I call all my dogs (3) and cats (2) into my room, and sick them on the mouse, I
leave them with the duty to kill this mouse.
After work, I go and pick up my son from a summer class he has been taking and we head back to the house, it has only been about 5 hours since I left. I tell
him all about my morning with the mouse, and he thinks it is pretty funny. When we get home, I go to the kitchen and put my stuff away, but he headed straight
to my bedroom, and I hear him calling me to come quick! As I run back to my bedroom, I see all the dogs napping peacefully on the sofa, not a care in the
world. In my room, my son stares down at the ground, and i fully expected to see a dead mouse or at least parts of a dead mouse, but noooooo, what my son is
showing me is two little teeny tiny newborn mice, with their umbilical cords still attached, lying on the ground, one was dead, the other was crying out.
This mouse situation is getting more complicated by the minute, now I am thinking "what do I do?", We look around for more mice, and I turn over this
recliner that is next to my bed, and under it are more mice, 3, all alive, and now that the recliner is upside down, we see more that are in the underside of
the chair, and we look closer and the mother mouse is in there as well, hiding from us. My mind is running with possibilities of how to handle this situation,
complicating the matter is the fact that being Buddhist, I don't kill bugs or spiders when they enter my house, I catch them and release them outside, and
now I have these little innocent baby mice to deal with, and of course the mother mouse, that I was perfectly willing to let my animals kill that very morning.
HMMMMM, well I decide that I will place all the mice in a shoebox, all nicely lined with toilet tissue, and take the mother mouse and her brood to the park
down the street and if they make it.... well, it is now up to nature to decide, not me. Now I have to remove the mice from under the chair, but they are stuck
to it somehow, and this is where my story gets involved in the stalking question. I am really having to pull myself together, and reach down deep within
myself to get this whole situation handled, I would like nothing more than to have my husband home so he could deal with it, or I would like my son, who is
only 15, to say, move over mom, let me do it. But I am the grown up, the one in charge, and it is at this point that my perception starts to shift. What I
mean by this is I experience myself from outside myself, and from that viewpoint it is quite a different scene, and the feeling that I have is calm, quick,
decisive, and brave, and from this viewpoint I immediately know what to do and how to do it, it was wordless, but a book full of instructions could not have
been more clear. I shift back to being in the scene, I gather the mice, it is yucky, but I have on surgical gloves and am using plastic spoons to pick these
little guys from there impossibly hard to get to place - I get them and they are actually conjoined, siamese twin mice, freaky, the next set is conjoined also,
but not fully formed. The horrible thing is, the fully developed conjoined mice, one is dead, one is alive. Do I put them in the box? SHIFT, back into my
other outside awareness, I know what to do, I come back, and do it, which was to flush it down the toilet, because it would be cruel to let it suffer, it's
mother would let it die, so I chose to end its suffering now. Now, all I have to do is catch the mouse, and my son and I have a net and the box with all her
babies is ready to go, but fate would deal a different hand, and she, panicked, escapes, and she is gone. I look at the box, and wonder how you would feed,
nurse, ect. these poor babies, and SHIFT, I am outside the situation again, and from this position it is clear what I have to do, I have to end the suffering
of these newborn mice-simple. I shift back to my regular viewpoint, now I just have to buck up the nerve to do it, and it takes all I got to flush those poor
innocent creatures, but I keep realizing the paradox of wanting to kill the adult mouse, and save the babies, why the difference? I struggle with this message
as I flush the mice. I calmly go to the kitchen and get a mouse trap and place it in my husbands disaster of a closet, the last place I could locate the
mother mouse.
So, when I had to, I shifted to an outside awareness, very much like that strange vantage point we assume when we are dreaming, when we switch back and forth
between being in the dream scene and watching it. The first time it happened, it was a surprise, but I called it back each time I needed help during the mouse
situation, in this way, shifting was me really realigning my AP to that outside awareness. Isn't stalking just the movement of the AP? So, I am thinking
that this was stalking that which stalked me. Am I anywhere close? This btw is the absolute longest post I have ever made!
Dreamgirl
P.S. That evening my husband ends up catching the mother mouse in a net, we walk her to the park, but before we get there, she jumps out of the net and
scurries off into some heavy underbrush, she lives to see another sunrise, or at least I think. I am reminded of that story that Carlos Castaneda tells about
the cats, one escaped before being put to sleep.
"Stalk what stalks you. How many know what this means?What is your answer? "
Here is a little story of an event that happened to me just a few weeks ago. It is a strange tale, and I have been wanting to post it to the "Warriors
Album" thread, but I held off, not being sure of it being album worthy. However, it stayed in my head, I knew I wanted to post it, I even got so far as
to type it up, only to delete it. Now here is my chance, as I think it illustrates how to stalk what stalks you.
I noticed that my dishwasher was leaking on the kitchen floor, so I told my husband about it and when he got home from work, he tried to fix it. He pulled it
out of the cabinets and found that a mouse had chewed a hole in the hose, as it had set up housekeeping behind the dishwasher. He pulled the dishwasher out
and put it in the dining room, he would put a new hose on it the next day. I imagine that mouse found its home missing, and probably faced the wrath of my
cats during the night. When I awoke, I saw my dog messing around with my tennis shoe, and I knew something had been on it, or in it. As I got out of bed and
walked toward my shoe, I noticed my cat crouching in front of a dresser, it could not get under it, but I knew the mouse was there. I must say, mice scare me,
bugs, snakes, spiders don't scare me, but for some reason, mice do, and I typically jump up on the closest thing around. I had to get to work, no one was
home, and I did not want to deal with the mouse. I decided to shower in my children's bathroom, in avoidance of the mouse. After my shower, I head very
cautiously into my bathroom, and of course the mouse had escaped to this room now, and was hiding behind a small chest, and my cat was sitting in front of it.
I watch as the mouse sneaks past the cat, and very slowly runs across my room and heads under my bed, at this point I think of how a lot of men would actually
stomp on the mouse with their foot, yikes, not me! Before I leave for work, I call all my dogs (3) and cats (2) into my room, and sick them on the mouse, I
leave them with the duty to kill this mouse.
After work, I go and pick up my son from a summer class he has been taking and we head back to the house, it has only been about 5 hours since I left. I tell
him all about my morning with the mouse, and he thinks it is pretty funny. When we get home, I go to the kitchen and put my stuff away, but he headed straight
to my bedroom, and I hear him calling me to come quick! As I run back to my bedroom, I see all the dogs napping peacefully on the sofa, not a care in the
world. In my room, my son stares down at the ground, and i fully expected to see a dead mouse or at least parts of a dead mouse, but noooooo, what my son is
showing me is two little teeny tiny newborn mice, with their umbilical cords still attached, lying on the ground, one was dead, the other was crying out.
This mouse situation is getting more complicated by the minute, now I am thinking "what do I do?", We look around for more mice, and I turn over this
recliner that is next to my bed, and under it are more mice, 3, all alive, and now that the recliner is upside down, we see more that are in the underside of
the chair, and we look closer and the mother mouse is in there as well, hiding from us. My mind is running with possibilities of how to handle this situation,
complicating the matter is the fact that being Buddhist, I don't kill bugs or spiders when they enter my house, I catch them and release them outside, and
now I have these little innocent baby mice to deal with, and of course the mother mouse, that I was perfectly willing to let my animals kill that very morning.
HMMMMM, well I decide that I will place all the mice in a shoebox, all nicely lined with toilet tissue, and take the mother mouse and her brood to the park
down the street and if they make it.... well, it is now up to nature to decide, not me. Now I have to remove the mice from under the chair, but they are stuck
to it somehow, and this is where my story gets involved in the stalking question. I am really having to pull myself together, and reach down deep within
myself to get this whole situation handled, I would like nothing more than to have my husband home so he could deal with it, or I would like my son, who is
only 15, to say, move over mom, let me do it. But I am the grown up, the one in charge, and it is at this point that my perception starts to shift. What I
mean by this is I experience myself from outside myself, and from that viewpoint it is quite a different scene, and the feeling that I have is calm, quick,
decisive, and brave, and from this viewpoint I immediately know what to do and how to do it, it was wordless, but a book full of instructions could not have
been more clear. I shift back to being in the scene, I gather the mice, it is yucky, but I have on surgical gloves and am using plastic spoons to pick these
little guys from there impossibly hard to get to place - I get them and they are actually conjoined, siamese twin mice, freaky, the next set is conjoined also,
but not fully formed. The horrible thing is, the fully developed conjoined mice, one is dead, one is alive. Do I put them in the box? SHIFT, back into my
other outside awareness, I know what to do, I come back, and do it, which was to flush it down the toilet, because it would be cruel to let it suffer, it's
mother would let it die, so I chose to end its suffering now. Now, all I have to do is catch the mouse, and my son and I have a net and the box with all her
babies is ready to go, but fate would deal a different hand, and she, panicked, escapes, and she is gone. I look at the box, and wonder how you would feed,
nurse, ect. these poor babies, and SHIFT, I am outside the situation again, and from this position it is clear what I have to do, I have to end the suffering
of these newborn mice-simple. I shift back to my regular viewpoint, now I just have to buck up the nerve to do it, and it takes all I got to flush those poor
innocent creatures, but I keep realizing the paradox of wanting to kill the adult mouse, and save the babies, why the difference? I struggle with this message
as I flush the mice. I calmly go to the kitchen and get a mouse trap and place it in my husbands disaster of a closet, the last place I could locate the
mother mouse.
So, when I had to, I shifted to an outside awareness, very much like that strange vantage point we assume when we are dreaming, when we switch back and forth
between being in the dream scene and watching it. The first time it happened, it was a surprise, but I called it back each time I needed help during the mouse
situation, in this way, shifting was me really realigning my AP to that outside awareness. Isn't stalking just the movement of the AP? So, I am thinking
that this was stalking that which stalked me. Am I anywhere close? This btw is the absolute longest post I have ever made!
Dreamgirl
P.S. That evening my husband ends up catching the mother mouse in a net, we walk her to the park, but before we get there, she jumps out of the net and
scurries off into some heavy underbrush, she lives to see another sunrise, or at least I think. I am reminded of that story that Carlos Castaneda tells about
the cats, one escaped before being put to sleep.