05-26-2018, 12:00 AM
I kept pondering as I was traveling from the seminar to another town again...
I realized some things. I will write here this: Looking at my life I noticed before how colors are/were for me. At one point in my life I stopped wearing them. I went black
. I felt best in black. It calmed me. Something happened that had this result for me (but there was no one event that I can pinpoint as this is what did it). At some point in my life I was basically ok with just black or white. And green here and there - cause that is a color I felt connected to since childhood.
As I worked on my inner bs I slowly incorporated more colors into my wardrobe again (but ofc this was not only a thing of clothes but also objects around me). I felt closest to green, with that I had least trouble and I started using it again. Then I got to red. Then violet and purple. Then I found things where I really liked orange - like a blanket for example. A major breakthrough was when I started wearing blue - this was linked to having finally dealt well enough with certain childhood issues linking to a family member. The first blue piece of clothing I bough in years or probably ever was at a shamanic seminar and it took me a year or more to actually wear it. Then I started loving it and bough another blue Tshirt and loved wearing that one too. Then came some earrings and etc etc. When we were kids our parents assigned different colors to us - I got green (toothbrush, shirt, etc) and the other person got blue. This was based on our eye color but it was used as a practical thing so we knew which thing was whose. I had trouble with the person so I didnt feel connected to blue I guess. Weird lol. Anyway, so it went... and not too long ago I finally started being OK with pink. That was kinda the last of the bunch. Grey was just before pink... cause I found grey to be kinda lifeless and people here wear it too much they are like monochrome idiots, eer professional people. So its like one goes into a shop that tries to sell decent clothes you get it all in black white and grey. No colors. Speaking of which this indicates the same problem/ issues I was battling but seen on a different layer of our society. Mind you... I had noticed the thing with the blue color and having dealt with the issues I had linked to the family member but I was totally blind to this other stuff happening with the colors. How my color palette was slowly but surely expanding to include all colors. Ofc I had noticed at one loong ago point that I am no longer all in black or white but well I mean that seemed kinda like a natural development, so called being more mature or some such lol.
it really is like my journey in this regard was like going back to a more natural state. because it was not the case that I started off with no colors. but in effect I think I expanded my palette in the end, maybe, cause I cannot remember all the details of how it was that long ago, before I started to think of blue as not my color etc.
pondering all this, I felt that I had gone quite a journey. And the colors were like my milestones (there is such a thing as color therapy too though I don't know anything about it lol). And now I have come to a very big one. And indeed the dragonfly wing cloak in this sense is an amazing symbol of my growth in this regard.
I am now remembering how the dragonfly man gave me to drink of the aurora colored water... This was, looking back, in preparation of putting on the cloak. So was becoming aware of the space that I can grow into inside myself.
I realized some things. I will write here this: Looking at my life I noticed before how colors are/were for me. At one point in my life I stopped wearing them. I went black
. I felt best in black. It calmed me. Something happened that had this result for me (but there was no one event that I can pinpoint as this is what did it). At some point in my life I was basically ok with just black or white. And green here and there - cause that is a color I felt connected to since childhood.As I worked on my inner bs I slowly incorporated more colors into my wardrobe again (but ofc this was not only a thing of clothes but also objects around me). I felt closest to green, with that I had least trouble and I started using it again. Then I got to red. Then violet and purple. Then I found things where I really liked orange - like a blanket for example. A major breakthrough was when I started wearing blue - this was linked to having finally dealt well enough with certain childhood issues linking to a family member. The first blue piece of clothing I bough in years or probably ever was at a shamanic seminar and it took me a year or more to actually wear it. Then I started loving it and bough another blue Tshirt and loved wearing that one too. Then came some earrings and etc etc. When we were kids our parents assigned different colors to us - I got green (toothbrush, shirt, etc) and the other person got blue. This was based on our eye color but it was used as a practical thing so we knew which thing was whose. I had trouble with the person so I didnt feel connected to blue I guess. Weird lol. Anyway, so it went... and not too long ago I finally started being OK with pink. That was kinda the last of the bunch. Grey was just before pink... cause I found grey to be kinda lifeless and people here wear it too much they are like monochrome idiots, eer professional people. So its like one goes into a shop that tries to sell decent clothes you get it all in black white and grey. No colors. Speaking of which this indicates the same problem/ issues I was battling but seen on a different layer of our society. Mind you... I had noticed the thing with the blue color and having dealt with the issues I had linked to the family member but I was totally blind to this other stuff happening with the colors. How my color palette was slowly but surely expanding to include all colors. Ofc I had noticed at one loong ago point that I am no longer all in black or white but well I mean that seemed kinda like a natural development, so called being more mature or some such lol.
it really is like my journey in this regard was like going back to a more natural state. because it was not the case that I started off with no colors. but in effect I think I expanded my palette in the end, maybe, cause I cannot remember all the details of how it was that long ago, before I started to think of blue as not my color etc.
pondering all this, I felt that I had gone quite a journey. And the colors were like my milestones (there is such a thing as color therapy too though I don't know anything about it lol). And now I have come to a very big one. And indeed the dragonfly wing cloak in this sense is an amazing symbol of my growth in this regard.
I am now remembering how the dragonfly man gave me to drink of the aurora colored water... This was, looking back, in preparation of putting on the cloak. So was becoming aware of the space that I can grow into inside myself.