08-26-2010, 12:00 AM
snowblind wrote:the other part of that is this...did the experience further the evolution of the perpetrator...or of the victim? If it did then was it "bad"?That's a good point.
Its very paradoxical...as things usually are. On the one hand, to realize perfection and that everything that happens 'was meant to happen' will free one from the social perimeters that suffocate empowerment, and the other hand is that after realizing this, one can view back upon their experiences (recap) and harness all the positive energy from what was otherwise a tragic or unfortunate situation in social terms.
I have a friend who was raped and her story illustrates this very well. After her rape she self-destructed pretty bad, just spiraled down and down to hit rock bottom. In her mind she was 'victimized' and felt herself the victim. She went to court and lost the case. then that's when it started for her...she took her rage out on a family member, was arrested for assault and told that in order to keep her children she had to attend a 3 month retreat. She was an alcoholic at the time. What happened is the retreat put her in contact with other people "like her" (veterans of the school of hard knocks) so she didn't feel so alienated by her experiences. Also she stopped drinking. When she got out she started up yoga classes, and had a big group of friends who had been to hell and back so she could call them up and turn to them in moments when she felt tempted or whatever. So her life transformed from that event and I hope she sees it as a positive. She may not see it entirely as a positive, but that's truly how we should see it, eventually after the smoke has cleared.
As for the perpetrator, I'm not sure how his life transformed, but it surely did transform. He was a relative of her. Not knowing of his situation, I am still inclined to say his ultimate realizations will be for the better.
Its very paradoxical...as things usually are. On the one hand, to realize perfection and that everything that happens 'was meant to happen' will free one from the social perimeters that suffocate empowerment, and the other hand is that after realizing this, one can view back upon their experiences (recap) and harness all the positive energy from what was otherwise a tragic or unfortunate situation in social terms.
I have a friend who was raped and her story illustrates this very well. After her rape she self-destructed pretty bad, just spiraled down and down to hit rock bottom. In her mind she was 'victimized' and felt herself the victim. She went to court and lost the case. then that's when it started for her...she took her rage out on a family member, was arrested for assault and told that in order to keep her children she had to attend a 3 month retreat. She was an alcoholic at the time. What happened is the retreat put her in contact with other people "like her" (veterans of the school of hard knocks) so she didn't feel so alienated by her experiences. Also she stopped drinking. When she got out she started up yoga classes, and had a big group of friends who had been to hell and back so she could call them up and turn to them in moments when she felt tempted or whatever. So her life transformed from that event and I hope she sees it as a positive. She may not see it entirely as a positive, but that's truly how we should see it, eventually after the smoke has cleared.
As for the perpetrator, I'm not sure how his life transformed, but it surely did transform. He was a relative of her. Not knowing of his situation, I am still inclined to say his ultimate realizations will be for the better.