Howard Y. Lee, Castaneda's Reluctant New Nagual

[dreamways]

So, regardless of whether you are influenced by a death defier or following the spirit, nagualism is not in your hands. The spirit does not accept volunteers
but then neither do the death defiers. Carlos thought that if he overrode the spirit, if he could pick a freedom seeking nagual, like Howard, the means would
justify the ends. Did they? I guess we'll see. Howard doesn't seem able to accept that the death defier made him into a nagual at the request of
Carlos, he actually thought that when he went down to Mexico with Carlos to let the death defier take a look at him, that nothing happened. The moment he
agreed to take that trip, his fate was sealed. I mean, what kind of **** agrees to meet the death defier, knowing that only new naguals are granted that
meeting, and then tries to back out of it after the meeting has already taken place. What a fucking ****. Howard also thinks that his ability to transmit
energy was granted by infinity or something, that he did it all on his own even though he told me that he has no idea where it came from. Hmm, I think I have
an idea where it came from. What's even more pathetic is that he thought that the death defier was trying to steal his ability to transmit energy. First
of all, the death defier already got the energy he needed from Howard when they met, secondly, the ability to channel energy was the gift Howard got in
exchange for it. Howard is 100% death defier made and owned. But can he still find freedom? Well, the death defier did leave the lineage, so maybe Howard
can find freedom, maybe he already traded something for it.