01-04-2007, 12:00 AM
When a man starts to learn, he is never clear about his objectives. His purpose is faulty; his intent is vague. He hopes for rewards that will never materialize, for he knows nothing of the hardships of learning.
He slowly begins to learnbit by bit at first, then in big chunks. And his thoughts soon clash. What he learns is never what he pictured, or imagined, and so he begins to be afraid. Learning is never what one expects. Every step of learning is a new task, and the fear the man is experiencing begins to mount mercilessly, unyieldingly. His purpose becomes a battlefield.
And thus he has stumbled upon the first of his natural enemies: fear! A terrible enemy treacherous, and difficult to overcome. It remains concealed at every turn of the way, prowling, waiting. And if the man, terrified in its presence, runs away, his enemy will have put an end to his quest.
What will happen to the man if he runs away in fear?
Nothing happens to him except that he will never learn. He will never become a man of knowledge. He will perhaps be a bully, or a harmless, scared man; at any rate, he will be a defeated man. His first enemy will have put an end to his cravings.
And what can he do to overcome fear?
The answer is very simple. He must not run away. He must defy his fear, and in spite of it he must take the next step in learning, and the next, and the next. He must be fully afraid, and yet he must not stop. That is the rule! And a moment will come when his first enemy retreats. The man begins to feel sure of himself. His intent becomes stronger. Learning is no longer a terrifying task.
Don Juan Matus (The Teachings of don Juan)
It was early evening. The nagual Carlos Castaneda and an apprentice were walking on the outskirts of a small desert town. The Santa Ana winds were picking up slightly, blowing dust, tugging lightly at their clothes.
What's new? the nagual asked the apprentice.
Well, mumbled the apprentice, a bit shy and nervous. I'm having a little trouble with my...uh...my dreaming...Any time I have dreams in which I am aware that I'm dreaming, something in them scares me and suddenly I find myself awake.
Aaah, sounded the nagual with a smile. Cul es tu pesadilla? What is your nightmare? What scares you in daily life?
In daily life? stated the apprentice, quizzically. Well nothing actually that I can think of. I've done a lot of review and can't say that there is anything in daily life that scares me here as much as things there'!
There', mused the nagual. And what is so scary about there'?
Well...something chases me in my dreams and I don't know what to do...I guess you can say, nagual, that I simply fear the unknown!
Aaah, repeated the nagual, nodding, seeming to understand. I too felt the same as you, caballero, and don Juan suggested to me that what I feared was not the unknown, but the known. I fear what's here! the nagual stated, tapping his foot against the dusty ground.
Here? questioned the apprentice.
Here, the nagual said again.
When this was occurring with me, don Juan told me that I had met the first enemy of a man of knowledge: fear; and that it had stopped me dead in my tracks. He told me that I assumed my fears were something other than what they were outlandish demons and fiends rather than ordinary events stemming from an ordinary life.
Don Juan told me that all of my fears of there' began here' in the first attention, and that my dreaming body had no fear. And as both waking and sleeping awareness course along the same continuum, the fear I had in one transferred to the other.
What did you do? questioned the apprentice. What can I do?
What don Juan told me to do, stated the nagual. Turn your fears into allies! Identify them; learn them; become familiar with them. Take an inventory of what scares you here, in the first attention or daily life, and track it over time. And when you find yourself in moments of fear, continue, breathe, soften your belly, walk through them, don't remain frozen in panic and fright.
The nagual then stopped by a large cactus taking in a full gulp of warm desert air as if to emphasize his point. The student did the same.
The nagual then spoke in a softened tone to the apprentice, his eyes shining: You fear me a little, don't you?
Yes, yes, I do, stammered the apprentice, looking at the ground.
Precisely as I feared don Juan. I feared him because he didn't fit into my box, because I couldn't predict his actions, because if I couldn't understand him, I'd end up a fool.
Well yes, replied the young man, continuing to look down at the sand, smearing a small bit of it side to side with his shoe. Being with you sometimes reminds me of being with my father. Although you don't make fun of me, he would. Whenever we would go out as a family, he would always say My son isn't quite the athlete' or My son doesn't quite match my smarts.' I used to live in fear of what he might say next.
Ai! shuddered the nagual. I can feel that present in your body to this day.
No wonder you fear anything and anyplace new! And no wonder it's hard for you to learn!
The nagual was then quiet for a moment before proceeding.
Caballero, I can see that you are really earnest about learning how to dream. Well, let's do it. We've done a lot of stalking; let's focus now on dreaming.
Remember the magical pass I showed you with the dowel? Do it; practice it nightly and see if something other than your fears enter in.
That night the apprentice got out his dowel. Placing the softened end to his forehead, the other end upon the floor, he sat, feeling as he did, his body relax. Image upon image came, then nothing at all. The apprentice lost track of how long he spent in silence.
Then some time later, the apprentice lifted his head off from the dowel. With eyes still closed he saw...a scene, a scene in a Tensegrity class where the nagual was speaking to him and his cohorts saying, Put your attention here! Here! This dream!
Don't waste your time fearing the unknown. Dream with all of you in the first attention; the second attention will take care of itself.
-------------------
When Man fell to his knees, he became the **** he is today.
He slowly begins to learnbit by bit at first, then in big chunks. And his thoughts soon clash. What he learns is never what he pictured, or imagined, and so he begins to be afraid. Learning is never what one expects. Every step of learning is a new task, and the fear the man is experiencing begins to mount mercilessly, unyieldingly. His purpose becomes a battlefield.
And thus he has stumbled upon the first of his natural enemies: fear! A terrible enemy treacherous, and difficult to overcome. It remains concealed at every turn of the way, prowling, waiting. And if the man, terrified in its presence, runs away, his enemy will have put an end to his quest.
What will happen to the man if he runs away in fear?
Nothing happens to him except that he will never learn. He will never become a man of knowledge. He will perhaps be a bully, or a harmless, scared man; at any rate, he will be a defeated man. His first enemy will have put an end to his cravings.
And what can he do to overcome fear?
The answer is very simple. He must not run away. He must defy his fear, and in spite of it he must take the next step in learning, and the next, and the next. He must be fully afraid, and yet he must not stop. That is the rule! And a moment will come when his first enemy retreats. The man begins to feel sure of himself. His intent becomes stronger. Learning is no longer a terrifying task.
Don Juan Matus (The Teachings of don Juan)
It was early evening. The nagual Carlos Castaneda and an apprentice were walking on the outskirts of a small desert town. The Santa Ana winds were picking up slightly, blowing dust, tugging lightly at their clothes.
What's new? the nagual asked the apprentice.
Well, mumbled the apprentice, a bit shy and nervous. I'm having a little trouble with my...uh...my dreaming...Any time I have dreams in which I am aware that I'm dreaming, something in them scares me and suddenly I find myself awake.
Aaah, sounded the nagual with a smile. Cul es tu pesadilla? What is your nightmare? What scares you in daily life?
In daily life? stated the apprentice, quizzically. Well nothing actually that I can think of. I've done a lot of review and can't say that there is anything in daily life that scares me here as much as things there'!
There', mused the nagual. And what is so scary about there'?
Well...something chases me in my dreams and I don't know what to do...I guess you can say, nagual, that I simply fear the unknown!
Aaah, repeated the nagual, nodding, seeming to understand. I too felt the same as you, caballero, and don Juan suggested to me that what I feared was not the unknown, but the known. I fear what's here! the nagual stated, tapping his foot against the dusty ground.
Here? questioned the apprentice.
Here, the nagual said again.
When this was occurring with me, don Juan told me that I had met the first enemy of a man of knowledge: fear; and that it had stopped me dead in my tracks. He told me that I assumed my fears were something other than what they were outlandish demons and fiends rather than ordinary events stemming from an ordinary life.
Don Juan told me that all of my fears of there' began here' in the first attention, and that my dreaming body had no fear. And as both waking and sleeping awareness course along the same continuum, the fear I had in one transferred to the other.
What did you do? questioned the apprentice. What can I do?
What don Juan told me to do, stated the nagual. Turn your fears into allies! Identify them; learn them; become familiar with them. Take an inventory of what scares you here, in the first attention or daily life, and track it over time. And when you find yourself in moments of fear, continue, breathe, soften your belly, walk through them, don't remain frozen in panic and fright.
The nagual then stopped by a large cactus taking in a full gulp of warm desert air as if to emphasize his point. The student did the same.
The nagual then spoke in a softened tone to the apprentice, his eyes shining: You fear me a little, don't you?
Yes, yes, I do, stammered the apprentice, looking at the ground.
Precisely as I feared don Juan. I feared him because he didn't fit into my box, because I couldn't predict his actions, because if I couldn't understand him, I'd end up a fool.
Well yes, replied the young man, continuing to look down at the sand, smearing a small bit of it side to side with his shoe. Being with you sometimes reminds me of being with my father. Although you don't make fun of me, he would. Whenever we would go out as a family, he would always say My son isn't quite the athlete' or My son doesn't quite match my smarts.' I used to live in fear of what he might say next.
Ai! shuddered the nagual. I can feel that present in your body to this day.
No wonder you fear anything and anyplace new! And no wonder it's hard for you to learn!
The nagual was then quiet for a moment before proceeding.
Caballero, I can see that you are really earnest about learning how to dream. Well, let's do it. We've done a lot of stalking; let's focus now on dreaming.
Remember the magical pass I showed you with the dowel? Do it; practice it nightly and see if something other than your fears enter in.
That night the apprentice got out his dowel. Placing the softened end to his forehead, the other end upon the floor, he sat, feeling as he did, his body relax. Image upon image came, then nothing at all. The apprentice lost track of how long he spent in silence.
Then some time later, the apprentice lifted his head off from the dowel. With eyes still closed he saw...a scene, a scene in a Tensegrity class where the nagual was speaking to him and his cohorts saying, Put your attention here! Here! This dream!
Don't waste your time fearing the unknown. Dream with all of you in the first attention; the second attention will take care of itself.
-------------------
When Man fell to his knees, he became the **** he is today.