peculiarities of awareness

[warfcat]

I feel like I am at a point of something more like dreaming while awake. I once established that awareness is simply Acute focus based on duration, which has varying degrees of expansion and divsion. So that being said, My awareness is not able to focus on anything for an extended period of time. If it does it begins to reflect back to me in the every day world, such as alignments with tv shows content, the content of people, and i begin the listen to things in a different way. The only peace i have found from this reflection is moving my focus around to everything and all things, sometimes dividing it between many to where it becomes confusing. My internal dialogue is shut off, but its some kind of intent or thread behind words and events. Is this the shadow playing with me, possibly IOBs? Or is it simple reflection of my inner workings at the time. Regardless I feel trapped in this place, whatever its pupose it. My dreams have been strange yet normally strange. I guess you could say i have been meeting special beings within my dreams lately. Beings that appear to be from different places in the multiverse. Sometimes I feel i am pinned down by shadows in a small place between falling asleep and dreaming. The last one was a red dark marroon almost firey being, sitting on top of me holding me down as i became aware i could not shake it.

any input would be great. thank you.
Warf