01-08-2014, 12:00 AM
1/6-7/14 Flight/Fight, Observation, Dream Energy.
I slip into dreaming, after a quiet day and night of not doing much, silence and not doings, (save a single pm before bed) and a bit of “recap” for example, I took a bath, and the drained the water, and sat in the tub diffusely staring at my reflected image in the metal fixtures. Sleep came upon me early (for me) before midnight, and I simply settled in bed, hands across my chest, not thinking, feeling my legs, and the silence, blank, and in that state, I must have gone into dreaming.
I spin without being dizzy, around me, it a white cocoon, made of soft silken fibers. I see it from the outside, am it on the inside. It spins in a black void. I see two cocoons I split it, and step out, as does a figure like my brother. For a moment, nothing, then, around us, like from all around, a dream slowly forms, I stay aware, feel/watch it do so, in a manner similar to how I went asleep. Then...a shift. I am in the dreaming. I am the dreaming. We are in a room, laying on our separate beds, talking. Topic seems off, sorcery, awareness, movies...candy. All mixed together in perfect, yet nonsensical, rhythmic flow. A message, someone wants me to visit, a dream window opens, of a cabin covered with snow, in north Dakota. I listen Intently. My lucidity, as soon as the dream formed, had become set to the reality of the setting, it was less, I intermittently forgot I was dreaming. A father figure (who looked nothing like my father, was tall and thin) comes into the room and asks me if I am leaving. I say “No it will cost too much for the ticket, you need your money to provide for your family” He nods in approval, and leaves the room. A twinge, off and on, im rejecting the reality, that’s not my father, or brother, noting the lapses, seeing the dream form around. But on the surface I accept it, I feel like im suffering from facial tics. I lay back down. Two cats come into the room, old, a bit smelly. The two cats I got as a very small child, that I named at two years old. The first one I named “Morris” a orange tabby like from the cat food commercials. The next one, I got from a box in front of a supermarket, a tortoise shell cat. As he was the second cat, In my pre-pre school creativity I had named him “New Cat”. New cat and Morris came, and climbed on each of out chests and we petted them. New cat drooled, and Morris was partially paralyzed I spoke of them to the brother (who looked nothing like my real brother) How impossibly old they are now. I got them when I was 2 and say now I am 48 years old. The facial tic again. In fact I am not 48 I am 37 I say. And also, New cat died when I was 17, from heart failure, and Morris lasted a year longer till I was 18 and died of a stroke. Not only did I get my own age wrong, accept figures who were not family as family, I simply forgot what was real and what was part of this dream. At this point I excuse myself, I am dreaming, and I have many things it seems I need to do, and so I leave. It is not easy to leave, and not wake, or even shift levels of awareness, like exit. No, I simply intend to pass through this dream and out into...non dream, without interruption Like walking through a solid, smoky wall. I am able to do so, and find myself back in the black space, but fully lucid. And then I start to rotate again, and things get compressed for lack of a better term...flashes between dreams. But holding the intent to move, and not fall unaware. I’m annoyed with that, if I can say I had any emotions at all. Flashes, a face, a line like drops of water in the void, movement. No sense of time.
Another dream. I walk out of a small ship or vessel, in a landing/docking area. I have some sort of robe with a high aristocratic collar on. I am fully lucid, and also, lucid in a mind self specific to the setting, I am both at once, and this gives me a great deal of solidity, and I suppose I would say confidence in my being, and being there. I stride down an impossibly long platform/ramp, to meet with people waiting in the distance. The setting reminds me of Earth, as envisioned in Isaac Asimov's robots and foundation series, due to some specific visual clues; that is to say, a vast planet wide subterranean city going to the mantle of the planet. Vast. One could say a vast hive. As I walk, flashes internal A woman, a great teacher, stuck HERE, starving, free but not to leave, a few...followers. Hungry, sad. We speak. What is my status, here? Something like an investigator/arbiter/ienkindler. Its hard to explain. I reach the assembled people, I am told a few things. I hold up a hand, and say, first, to feed the woman, and let her more free to move. The beings move to comply. From the side, unseen before this, another woman, tall and angular, hiss's for them to stop. She strides up to me defiantly. She states “You think your purpose and reason for being here entitles you to that? You will simply do you task, or we will entomb this “teacher/mother” you care so much about even tighter”. The teacher witch woman, (like the tenant?) I see, was the face I saw flashing in the before part, why I came here in the first place. Then...its strange, its like a contest of wills. I take stock of my energy. If I had to weigh it in money, I figure I had about 27.3 million USD, more then enough to “pay” for “food”. This was my next plan, thought. But the strange woman, shes...separating me...flattening my awareness. I stay lucid in the dream self context, but the...part of me that is like my waking self, flees or is removed, distant, so then the reality of the dream takes over. I “shrink”. It becomes fragmented again, jumbled, as my awareness transitions shifts...when I reform, im only aware...awareness...in the context of the place, with little memory of external self. I see this, I see this, yet I can not TELL myself, or link the two...so now me, writing, is an observer of self. But im also still in the other character. Its difficult to explain being split like that. That dream me is no longer...large, confident, its a version of me, linking to the tonal, feelings/situations...but not knowing of that. Its frustrating to half of me.
And then another transition, and the part of me that is frustrated is simply gone. I’m re enmeshed, like in the first dream, in the dream. A vast space, yet circular, a city, a world, but...im in a small space withing it. In my pocket, I have two large seeds, like sunflower seeds. A father and mother figure, are close, like im bound to them, near, observant. I go outside. A field, two fields, made of flat, smooth, half dried mud. Perfectly smooth. I hold each of the seeds, over spots, I can see, like a readout...if the soil, which all seems the same, has the nutrients needed...how much life will grow. I’m distracted by a million forms, people, things all around, and yet, im detached,in my task. Finally I find the best spots I can, and drop the seeds, and the soil just absorbs them...i drop one on each level. I also see in energy, what the structure of the space is. When its done, it seems my task here, why I came was completed. But true the word of the angular mean lady, they aren’t done with me. The dream collapses, the parent like figures are close. I’m being yelled at, and shoved, for my failings/pride by the father. When I speak, the mother says mean things in support of the father. I’m supposed to collapse down and fade, it seems.
But as in the first dream, much is off. This father figure acts nothing like my real father. My real father was gentle and kind, an artist and school teacher...not unlike myself...he was also bi polar, unlike me, and never learned to be aware, his anger and frustration would seize him, and he would change like Dr Jekyll, when things went wrong...and it didn’t take much, once he crossed that line long ago, to go wrong for him to change. But the rest of the time he was kind and gentle and nice. This guy...was shoving me and just being cruel. The mother, Grey skin, shrinking, harsh, was nothing like my real mother, who is none of those things. So they did not fit in the rolls...and the me awareness, that strode into the place, starts to grow. I become more aware, they look nothing like my parents. The man has a thin tie and short sleeved geek shirt, and is tall. My father was a bit round, and I saw him wear a tie twice in my life.
The mother was mocking and harsh, and also looked nothing like my mom. Again, aware, fully.
"Sowing The Seeds Of Love"
High time we made a stand and shook up the views of the common man
And the lovetrain rides from coast to coast
D.J.'s the man we love the most
Could you be, could you be squeaky clean
And smash any hope of democracry ?
As the headline says you're free to choose
There's egg on your face and mud on your shoes
One of these days they're gonna call it the blues
And anything is possible when you're Sowing the Seeds of Love
Anything is possible - Sowing the Seeds of Love
I spy tears in thier eyes
They look to the skies for some kind of divine intervention
Food goes to waste !
So nice to eat, so nice to taste
Politician Grannie with your high ideals
Have you no idea how the Majority feels ?
So without love and a promise land
We're fools to the rules of a Goverment plan
Kick out the style ! Bring back the jam !
Anything...
Sowing the Seeds
The birds and the bees
My girlfriend and me in love
Feel the pain
Talk about it
If you're a worried man - then shout about it
Open hearts - feel about it
Open minds - think about it
Everyone - read about it
Everyone - scream about it !
Everyone
Everyone - read about it, read about it
Read in the books in the crannies and the nooks there are books to read
Chorus !
(Mr. England Sowing the Seeds of Love)
Time to eat all your words
Swallow your pride
Open your eyes
High time we made a stand and shook up the views of the common man
Clearly dreaming. How to handle this? So I spoke tot he father, reached out with apology and understanding. I spoke to him. “I realize I made you upset, and for that I am sorry. But I have to be and do as I see right, but I do respect your opinion and listen........” I was interrupted by a huge wad of spit...spit right in my face. I stop speaking, and touch it, look at it. The mother chimes in “now you have done it”. I say nothing...i walk as far as the edge of the dream will let me, which is about 20 feet, slowly, aware. I turn and look at them. I look at the spit on my hand from my face. And something unthinking in me, with no emotion. Just acts. I look at him, and with a silent command levitate him in the air. Lets see what this, I say to myself. Lets see if its real, part of the setting...what. Let me try to push it out of the dream. And so, I slam it into the now viable walls...over and over, it wont go through. Its bleeding. “part of this dream like the plant” I think. Now im just testing the edges. I look at it, and shoot it into the air...a sensation, like a rocket breaking the sound barrier, leaving a shock-wave. It goes up and up. Ahh...no ceiling! I grab it, and slam it back to the earth. It hits the floor, and breaks into a mass of bone and flesh. “But there is, apparently a floor” I think to myself. Interesting Now I look at the mother, who has gone inert. Breathing silently. With her...i just lift her and throw her into the sky...as high as I can. Lets see if the outside of this circle in a circle is real. I fling it high and at an angle...and wait...it falls, falls...and lands not far from me in the “outside” field. She impacts and buries into the mud...only her feet and waste sticking up, and two stick legs...then a sound, of mud releasing gas, and the legs fall flat. Well, that’s done. Without a second though, I shoot into the sky, higher, joy, high. Clouds. I’m in the wispy clouds, and I see the dream as a symbol on a flat plane far below...i begin to fly for the feeling, before another dream catches me.
"Reach For The Sky"
Well I'm an outlaw
I make my living on the run
My life is lonely
But I was born to need no one
Always on my own
Oh'
My gun is loaded
I'm a six-shot heart attack
I pull the trigger
So you better watch your back
Looking out for #1 so you had better take this piece of advice
Make your move
Stick 'em up or kiss your ass goodbye
[Chorus:]
Reach for the sky
Or I will shoot you down in the blink of an eye
Reach for the sky
There's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
Reach for the sky
I got the drop on you so raise them high
Reach for the sky
Well it's a show down
This is what I do for fun
I got a reputation
Yeah I'm the fastest gun
I'm livin' on the highway
Movin' on from town to town
You better do it my way
Or I will shoot you down
Looking out for #1 so you had better take this piece of advice
Make your move
Stick 'em up or kiss your ass goodbye
But soon enough, one does. I’m still flying. Falling from the sky, space, towards the earth, is a large white spaceship, larger then a city. The...production values remind me of something from the 1970's... original star wars models for filming. I’m flying towards it, it seems, its massive, I skim over it and through canyons in its structure. A voice. Where the seed display was a man. Speaking. Looks like superman’s father, white clothes. I listen. Hes speaking of the code. To do no harm, to help these beings plummeting. Crashing, duty and honor, a speech. I’m not buying it. Then a dub over. A voice mocking it, like mst3k. Saying nah blow it up, make it crash. The two voices in an out. They call me jor el lol. I’m not wearing a S on my chest, or a V for villain. I’m annoyed again. And lucid. So I do neither things, I fly up, and out, into the void. And dreaming ends again, more flashes...faces, energy, loss of sense of time.
Again im in a dream. Again my sense of me is limited back down to being lucid in character. An odd one. I’m going to the “veterinarians” office. Two women on staff. I’m making an appointment to check on an old animal. The woman...are upset. Saying...well, im not a member client, no more walk ins. I have to agree to pay a set amount each month, and office visit fee upfront. I’m taken aback, this is the office of the vet who didn’t even bother charging more then half the time, we were friends...and sometimes I would just leave a few hundred dollars there for future work...so we didn’t really do allot of specific haggling when it was an emergency. I/we were good for it or pre paid. But not now. Arguing, saying I have to pay to be a client. They aren’t telling me something. I ask to see the vet. I am taken to her...no his office. Well, another weird element. The vet is Mr Williams, the old black guy who was my stand in grandfather, longtime family friend. Old. Very old, like he was a few years ago before he died. He explains that, He had given me allot of support, and I never signed any contracts. I’m going to need to, and agree to pay the set amount, he cant afford to keep feeding me for nothing. The office ladies are in the corner, agreeing with him. He told me he has to pay them, for the work etc. So I negotiate. I’m also coming lucid like I was in the other ones, but I don’t reject this one as fast. No need it seems. As we talk, I think of things ive done for him. A dream in the dream inner window. A chicken coop. The chickens are missing limbs, but alive. A fox that got in here did the damage...in a wheelchair from where the farmer shot him/her. I took them all in, the one legged chickens and wheelchair bound fox, for the vet. I say.... I think 50$ a month is fair, and I can not afford more. Its less then they asked, but they seem ready to accept. I say “i need to check with my mother, of course, as she is paying not I”. At this the “Vet” got agitated. “always a reason with you boy, ain’t there?” “Come over here boy, im gonna tan your backside for giving me lip. And like the real man would do, he was removing his belt to tan my backside. For some reason, lucid to the dream, this made me laugh. I said “OK, let me shrink to be a child and ill crawl around avoiding you for old times sake”. And I did. I hid under the desk, and was laughing. He...starts laughing. Its funny. But also to them clearly the gig was up. I walk out, and see the wall of a shopping mall at night...but the dream is ending despite my being lucid...fades, So the dream dissolves.
More of the same in between dreams. Deposited once again in a new setting, but im starting to see the patterns, why when one ends, another begins, the threads in awareness that get picked up, what im led to do or not in them. Its becoming interesting, and its keeping me more aware despite the dreams, and outside of them. Again it fades, but only so much. I am in a busy city, on a bright and sunny afternoon. I live in some apartments. To my left is a huge shopping mall (like the old .. AP) Red granite, curved columns that meet in ornamental arches, four stories tall the facade...a real place. I am coming out of an apartment building. A very busy street, 8 lanes, the size of a highway but with traffic lights. I’m on a side street. I cross the street to my new favorite spot. Its in front of some nondescript three story buildings. I sit on some red lava rocks, that are there instead of lawn. I come here to smoke it seems. I’m just soaking it in. Light a cigar thing. Start puffing, relaxed. I pull out my dream notepad, but somehow, access something else. I’m writing a PM. Its to ( ). I’m telling her I had to move again, to some apartments in the city, but its only in the dream, not real life. I talk about dreaming so far. I mention the mall is cool, its the one from the “free falling” video with tom petty, but im seeing the outside. Guess this is resceda...and no, there is not “a free way running through my yard”... although the street is the size of a highway. Do you know the song? Ill send some links. Hey come to think of it, all the flying and falling forms ive seen, I think this is a specific link/reference. How cool is that? Well, im bored atm, wanted to say hello. What are you dreaming... I kinda ramble on. As I do, somewhere outside the dream, I hear voices, tune in on them. “what is he doing?” “Writing a note it seems” “To who, in the dream...” “No a message to someone in the real world, but in dreams” “interesting”. “Does he not know of all the forms, power, around him?” At this I perk up, and quick send the message. I look around. Its literal, around me...the buildings that all look the same. I pick one where I feel the most...something. There are no door and windows. I jump in the air, and hold my knees, I float in the fetal position, the “egg” as I think of it. I say “Na nu Na nu” (Mork and Mindy reference) and propel myself through the wall of the building. I hover inside.
It's a long day, livin' in Reseda
There's a freeway, runnin' through the yard
And I'm a bad boy, 'cause I don't even miss her
I'm a bad boy for breakin' her heart
And I'm free, free fallin'
Yeah I'm free, free fallin'
All the vampires, walkin' through the valley
Move west down, Ventura Blvd.
And all the bad boys, are standing in the shadows
All the good girls, are home with broken hearts
In it are like 18 people...not figments. All silently studying. None of them feel too friendly. All self absorbed in books and papers. I clear my throut and say “hello, im Andrew, who are you guys and gals”. Its like...ahh, farting in a hot tub. They all look up angry. One speaks. “WE are studying infinity, YOU are interrupting”. I say I am? Confused. I look at what they are doing. One is writing, then giving it to the next to read, who writes something, and by the time the version the first wrote makes the writing/reading rounds, the person who started the chain thinks its confirmation...new info!. It so lame. And they are so full of it, wanting to hurt me for interrupting. I say. “Hey I made and egg and flew through the wall...any of you guys want to try?” the first man stand. He tells me “that is impossible, its not in the books...gesturing to their writings” “you are a distraction...be gone! Be dead!” they all start repeating it. What a bunch of assholes. “OK I will be gone, because you all are super fucking lame and rude...bye” and I fly back out in my egg shape. Huh that sucked. Let me check the roof....i levitate up. Nice! Another 18 or so people, these ones are on lawn chairs and talking. Well OK, its a bit better. Same deal, but this time I land. “Hi im Andrew, who are you...” I get told to shut the **** and how did you get here? This Is a place for serious sorcerers to find after a lifetime of study. “no its not” I say. Actually its a setting in the dream of los angeles and its real...well its a dream. I point at the hill, and some apartments on it, where sham and e gave me a book about therun with his symbol a few month ago. “Its just a dream”. “no its infinity he retorts” “No really, its just a dream...my dream I suspect” “your dream, you self important little obstacle!” Begone! Begone...again with the cult chanting. “im going” I say, “ill try downstairs”. Downstairs! they laugh, **** there is only here. “whatever” I say full of whit. So I fly back into the downstairs. Wtf. This is lame. Well this time when I fly in, I don’t get a change to talk, everyone is attacking me with the intent to kill. I uncurl and float above them. Its to far gone. I sigh. The me that knocked the parents around comes out.
Same deal...i lift the most hostile, and these too cant pass put of the room. So I smash them back and forth till they die and let them fall. Nope, they cant float. I hoped this would calm the rest down, but no. So I just lift them all and bash them around like inside a food blender. Some are pesky, pop back up a few times so they take a bit more smashing. When they are all dead or gone from dream forms, I go back out. I mu be covered with blood. I rise up again, warily. The group on the roof jump up to attack. I don’t even bother waiting or thinking. I start flicking them, like one might flick some paper...”can you fly” FLICK...into the sky, see them fall and splat. “nope” how about you...nope. Or you...nope. One by one. Now im just tired of it...so I try something new. With one pinch...i grasp the whole group by their energy strands, and punt them into the sky. I hold them...and then let them drop they still cant/wont fly. Then I kick them again...and again...the sound barrier shock wave thing...higher and higher...and then in the distance, they fall with the impact of bombs. Well...that’s what they wanted, that’s what they got. Now what the hell am I to do?
Oh the other building! This one has a door. I land and walk in. Its a bar...i think. But it looks like a house, bare white gypsum board, A man standing. There are only like 4 glasses, its bright and plain and small. A man and woman and an INVISABLE something pass me. They don’t see me they are leaving. I clearly see shamanka and... some guy called Chris Douglas. Exact features. (I told her today she asked me if he looked a certain way...he did). OK so they left. Only three stools. I sit. I’m thinking to find a friend from college, Ernie here. I’m about to ask. Seems this bar either just opened, or im afraid is about to close. Either way I should get a beer. So I make an order. They are surprised...they didn’t see me. No the guy Ernie isn’t here. I get a beer, and drink. A book Is on the bar. The book is entitled “J. Daniel” Weird title, a name. I look at it. I’m drawn into it. In it, is a void like between dreams. So I make my own dream, and then a man is seen. I dangle him in the sky I made by a leg with intent. I peer at him, ask him WTH is all of this. Test after test after test? He doesn’t say, by but what is ay I see something of the nature of these dreams. I let go of him and leave the book. I find I had opened it, and the words were writing themselves. I close it, thinking I have the final clue, and the dream dissolves. Same in between dream stuff...faces, voices, energy, sense of no time. And then it gets interesting when I form again.
Finally im all me. All one being not two in and out of myself. Solid, not wavering. In, but through seeing, outside of the dream at the same time. How I used to dream, always, no dampened awareness, no lack of lucidity and understanding. Me...me how I was before I agreed to limit awareness for data exchange. Each dream had been waking me up more and more, was less and less a containing reality...and now, here I am. Here WE are, for we all were here, but not dreaming together...but in between...in between, we were. So I sit.
It something like a large “language lab” in a university. One way glass mirrors on one side, rooms of to either edge. In it I find us, people from here. But forms are shifted, and even change. Tired it seems. This space is not a dream, its...second attention, but not the active process of a dream, its energetically real, not a play or unfolding. It just is. One of those spaces. Its not moving on its own, like dreams do to cycles or rhythms. Its...very solid and independent. However, people in it Are dreaming, related, separate dreams. Between, they are fully in this space, awake, aware, but I don’t think any of this gets remembered. Often. Understanding what this, I look off to the sides...through the one way glass, and listen. Beings. Monitoring everything, selecting dreams, scenarios, in ranges of probabilities. But how can they get the same data, when everyone dreams different, and at different levels of awareness? This is soon answered. A figure emerges from a door. Energy...attention, becomes dreams, separate dreams! So for one person, the figure is a tall threatening black man. How will the react? For another a variation, a poor rural black man, thin and old (reminds me a bit of my “grandfather” he was born a sharecropper. For another person...a horrible monster, with dark skin, snarling. I saw this figure get incorporated into twelve or more dreams at once. The figure walked into the room. I had no dream, but for the setting. But I saw all the reactions, and them being watched. So I decided to act. My default was a being like the ones behind the glass, but also it had some monster teeth. I greeted Him. “hello, where are we, and what are you? Would you like a seat friend? My name is Andrew, do you have one?” the figure stopped. And looked at me with peering eyes. Energy...i saw all the dreams shift to this tone, calm down, there wasn’t this surge of dream energy. The figure left the room, and people slowly woke up...some with memory, some not. But it seems in all cases, the fact not to be afraid got through. A few remembered...saw something was off. This made the beings in the other room pause, and start new calculations. I was uneasy to see a big group of them suddenly take an interest in my data. I extended awareness to see it. A line of energy, that picked up other threads, and spun like a turning drill bit, but soft and in energy, swirling. I return myself to the room. We are served food, as we all are so worn out it seems now. I sit across from a woman, looks like my blonde (bleached) cousin from my moms dead twin, who is 16 years older then me. And lived a hard life. Funny though, my favorite cousin. But it snot her, and the form is saying something else, about the current state. Its actually ( ), who looks younger then me and is close to my age. But no matter, I know. We speak. We are telling a joke, a kind of off color one. Another man, again, form shifted,d but knew who it was, hisses. “what are you two thinking, saying such things when they are listening to EVERYTHING and it comes to be in dreams? We say we know, but its no reason to not have a bit of a laugh. After we eat, it fades, same in between thing goes on with faces and energy.
New dream. We are each in a car, the car forms a convoy, we are racing at height speed to get to or away from something on a rural, two lane highway. A hill, then a bend. The beings from before...are ahead. They stand all over the road, in short lines, arms linked. Strangely, they were the pants like highway patrol, and a few have hats and glasses. But no shirts, and their solid, like living rock inhumanity shoes. They are without features, ears, lips etc. As we get closer, i see that they are doing, they space themselves on either side of the convoy, and then one or two stands in the road, in a pattern, to make sure no vehicle does not hit them. Again, I see it is not a convoy, it is linked but separate dreams. Each will have a dream of “running into” a law enforcement officer. Literally or figuratively. That’s the start of each dream. Again, im not dreaming like that. So I watch. Not the dreams, and I do nothing to stop this one, I cant, but what happens next, on this level. A side dream, a park, a picnic like a police day picnic. A banner. For two dreamers a shift. For them the police were also...like KKK, Aryan nation or some similar group. They offered to let some of them come to learn secrets. And two, despite what they saw, the bad stuff accepted the offer. Again this was all noted, and then their dreaming continued. This bugged me, so I deliberately entered that dream reality to watch/learn.
I enter the dream, and im in a small town, rather gentile, in the deep south. I had the air of pre American civil war...idealized, like gone with the wind or something. The two were learning, secrets, I saw a platinum ring with a large star cut emerald as a symbol. But...it was all the same as the other dreams. I saw enough, so I decide to poke around. I see a building like an opera house/theater, so I pop in to look. Small, but very ornate, a single large theater stage. A woman, one of the beings, but I knew female, was standing looking at the stage props. Very beautiful, long hair, but that was the dream. Like a ballerina or dancer. I walk right up to her and stand a few feet back, and clear my throut. I ask her what is all of this, and why a theater when the dream is in the “masons lodge” of this setting? She turns and looks at me appraising, then tells me. Dream might go here, a theater production, might not. Props are set in case its so. I ask about dancing, and putting on the plays (dreams) she is looking at me, I feel feeling my energy behind the form. She smiles. And says she can show me. And gets on stage, and does the nicest dance, and smiles. She says that could be part of their dream. I laugh nah knowing those two it wont get past the emerald ring and cavalry swords and old books. She doesn’t laugh, but she smiles. Then she shows me how to dance a bit on stage, and its really nice...despite being an overlay over the same sort of being, who cares, we all are...well, not human really, are we? That’s what the black man and Klan elements were gauging. Reactions to other, or to people who judge. It was really complicated all the things being measured, but I could see it somehow.
I’m really happy, and the more happy I get, the more energy I pour into things. Soon, to both out our surprise, I create a dream reality in the dream reality, that is just vibrant. A walk along the river under the willows, big wisps of cotton from seed pods blowing in the air. A picnic. Music, so alive, I was feeding it. We both were in it, and enjoying the reality as if it WAS reality. Both me and this being. I was some sort of southern cavalry man. At some point, like a magic film, I got down on one knee and proposed. I knew it was a dream, but it was also real. I asked for her to stay in here with me, to let it become the reality. She smiled. WE were frozen in time. And then, it was back to the playhouse. “no she said with a shake of her head, if we did that, and it was tempting, to be...human, and with me, even if only in a reality like that. But if we did, we both would be caught in a static place, no change, no growth, like frozen in time. Like death. She enjoyed emotions, and thanked me for the first hand data, but...it was not practical. Well of course I knew, so I nodded, and then left this setting. Back to the road. But I was still in it in awareness, and she knew. Three of the same beings came up to her, to ask her what that was, get more information, fascinated. I see I had left the dream, and a me and her, frozen like a living picture, in that space. They were measuring it with instruments. The lady spoke. “He Tripled the density of this reality, energetically, by applying emotions...its SOLID” the others were taken aback. One of them said...hes a cusp player...how many of them are in the game...2, 3 ? That we have found another being said. The third male being asked. “should we remove him?” “whose piece is he, is he ours, another...whose?” Something about the game became clear to me. The game was reality, all 7 billion of us human and everything else alive and not alive in the AP of the tonal. The rules were unknown, always changing. The goals were unknown and changing. The sides were even unknown to these beings, and the pieces in it. The game was simply...like a dance, what emerged at the end...who could shape it, why, what unexpected things might arise. That was the game, like a vast chess set with a trillion pieces, and no known rules, or goal, just being to see what could come! That was reality. Awareness doing that. The female spoke. “No, does it matter whose side? Did you see the reading from before, and then this? Let him...let them play, Enjoy the beauty. They all agreed. I had a joke in me, for her, something funny. In the dream the music was sublime, woven into the willows, the wind, the air. As I left, I switched it around, to an old rock song. Finally she laughed, and the other beings looked stunned and interested in why...a bit of the dream self stays in the non dream second attention after all. And then I woke for the day.
I was born under a bad sign,
Left out in the cold
I'm a lonely man who knows
Just what it means to lose control
But, I took all the heartache
And turned it to shame,
Now I'm moving, moving on,
And I ain't taking the blame
Don't come running to me,
I know I've done all I can
A hard loving woman like you
Just makes a hard loving man
So I can say it to you, babe
I'll be a fool for your loving no more,
A fool for your loving no more
I'm so tired of trying, I always end up crying,
Fool for your loving no more
I'll be a fool for your loving no more
I'm tired of hiding my feelings,
You left me lonely too long
I gave my heart, and you tore it apart,
Oh, baby, you done me wrong
Don't come running to me,
I know I've done all I can
A hard loving woman like you
Just makes a hard loving man
This evening, I looked up cusp. The standard usage is “on the edge” in a negative way. Like “on the cusp of being cut”. But that’s not how they used it. So I pulled the definitions. Full Definition of CUSP
: point, apex: as
a : a point of transition (as from one historical period to the next) : turning point; also : edge, verge
b : either horn of a crescent moon
c : a fixed point on a mathematical curve at which a point tracing the curve would exactly reverse its direction of motion
d : an ornamental pointed projection formed by or arising from the intersection of two arcs or foils
e (1) : a point on the grinding surface of a tooth (2) : a fold or flap of a cardiac valve
I think what they meant was fluid on the point.
I slip into dreaming, after a quiet day and night of not doing much, silence and not doings, (save a single pm before bed) and a bit of “recap” for example, I took a bath, and the drained the water, and sat in the tub diffusely staring at my reflected image in the metal fixtures. Sleep came upon me early (for me) before midnight, and I simply settled in bed, hands across my chest, not thinking, feeling my legs, and the silence, blank, and in that state, I must have gone into dreaming.
I spin without being dizzy, around me, it a white cocoon, made of soft silken fibers. I see it from the outside, am it on the inside. It spins in a black void. I see two cocoons I split it, and step out, as does a figure like my brother. For a moment, nothing, then, around us, like from all around, a dream slowly forms, I stay aware, feel/watch it do so, in a manner similar to how I went asleep. Then...a shift. I am in the dreaming. I am the dreaming. We are in a room, laying on our separate beds, talking. Topic seems off, sorcery, awareness, movies...candy. All mixed together in perfect, yet nonsensical, rhythmic flow. A message, someone wants me to visit, a dream window opens, of a cabin covered with snow, in north Dakota. I listen Intently. My lucidity, as soon as the dream formed, had become set to the reality of the setting, it was less, I intermittently forgot I was dreaming. A father figure (who looked nothing like my father, was tall and thin) comes into the room and asks me if I am leaving. I say “No it will cost too much for the ticket, you need your money to provide for your family” He nods in approval, and leaves the room. A twinge, off and on, im rejecting the reality, that’s not my father, or brother, noting the lapses, seeing the dream form around. But on the surface I accept it, I feel like im suffering from facial tics. I lay back down. Two cats come into the room, old, a bit smelly. The two cats I got as a very small child, that I named at two years old. The first one I named “Morris” a orange tabby like from the cat food commercials. The next one, I got from a box in front of a supermarket, a tortoise shell cat. As he was the second cat, In my pre-pre school creativity I had named him “New Cat”. New cat and Morris came, and climbed on each of out chests and we petted them. New cat drooled, and Morris was partially paralyzed I spoke of them to the brother (who looked nothing like my real brother) How impossibly old they are now. I got them when I was 2 and say now I am 48 years old. The facial tic again. In fact I am not 48 I am 37 I say. And also, New cat died when I was 17, from heart failure, and Morris lasted a year longer till I was 18 and died of a stroke. Not only did I get my own age wrong, accept figures who were not family as family, I simply forgot what was real and what was part of this dream. At this point I excuse myself, I am dreaming, and I have many things it seems I need to do, and so I leave. It is not easy to leave, and not wake, or even shift levels of awareness, like exit. No, I simply intend to pass through this dream and out into...non dream, without interruption Like walking through a solid, smoky wall. I am able to do so, and find myself back in the black space, but fully lucid. And then I start to rotate again, and things get compressed for lack of a better term...flashes between dreams. But holding the intent to move, and not fall unaware. I’m annoyed with that, if I can say I had any emotions at all. Flashes, a face, a line like drops of water in the void, movement. No sense of time.
Another dream. I walk out of a small ship or vessel, in a landing/docking area. I have some sort of robe with a high aristocratic collar on. I am fully lucid, and also, lucid in a mind self specific to the setting, I am both at once, and this gives me a great deal of solidity, and I suppose I would say confidence in my being, and being there. I stride down an impossibly long platform/ramp, to meet with people waiting in the distance. The setting reminds me of Earth, as envisioned in Isaac Asimov's robots and foundation series, due to some specific visual clues; that is to say, a vast planet wide subterranean city going to the mantle of the planet. Vast. One could say a vast hive. As I walk, flashes internal A woman, a great teacher, stuck HERE, starving, free but not to leave, a few...followers. Hungry, sad. We speak. What is my status, here? Something like an investigator/arbiter/ienkindler. Its hard to explain. I reach the assembled people, I am told a few things. I hold up a hand, and say, first, to feed the woman, and let her more free to move. The beings move to comply. From the side, unseen before this, another woman, tall and angular, hiss's for them to stop. She strides up to me defiantly. She states “You think your purpose and reason for being here entitles you to that? You will simply do you task, or we will entomb this “teacher/mother” you care so much about even tighter”. The teacher witch woman, (like the tenant?) I see, was the face I saw flashing in the before part, why I came here in the first place. Then...its strange, its like a contest of wills. I take stock of my energy. If I had to weigh it in money, I figure I had about 27.3 million USD, more then enough to “pay” for “food”. This was my next plan, thought. But the strange woman, shes...separating me...flattening my awareness. I stay lucid in the dream self context, but the...part of me that is like my waking self, flees or is removed, distant, so then the reality of the dream takes over. I “shrink”. It becomes fragmented again, jumbled, as my awareness transitions shifts...when I reform, im only aware...awareness...in the context of the place, with little memory of external self. I see this, I see this, yet I can not TELL myself, or link the two...so now me, writing, is an observer of self. But im also still in the other character. Its difficult to explain being split like that. That dream me is no longer...large, confident, its a version of me, linking to the tonal, feelings/situations...but not knowing of that. Its frustrating to half of me.
And then another transition, and the part of me that is frustrated is simply gone. I’m re enmeshed, like in the first dream, in the dream. A vast space, yet circular, a city, a world, but...im in a small space withing it. In my pocket, I have two large seeds, like sunflower seeds. A father and mother figure, are close, like im bound to them, near, observant. I go outside. A field, two fields, made of flat, smooth, half dried mud. Perfectly smooth. I hold each of the seeds, over spots, I can see, like a readout...if the soil, which all seems the same, has the nutrients needed...how much life will grow. I’m distracted by a million forms, people, things all around, and yet, im detached,in my task. Finally I find the best spots I can, and drop the seeds, and the soil just absorbs them...i drop one on each level. I also see in energy, what the structure of the space is. When its done, it seems my task here, why I came was completed. But true the word of the angular mean lady, they aren’t done with me. The dream collapses, the parent like figures are close. I’m being yelled at, and shoved, for my failings/pride by the father. When I speak, the mother says mean things in support of the father. I’m supposed to collapse down and fade, it seems.
But as in the first dream, much is off. This father figure acts nothing like my real father. My real father was gentle and kind, an artist and school teacher...not unlike myself...he was also bi polar, unlike me, and never learned to be aware, his anger and frustration would seize him, and he would change like Dr Jekyll, when things went wrong...and it didn’t take much, once he crossed that line long ago, to go wrong for him to change. But the rest of the time he was kind and gentle and nice. This guy...was shoving me and just being cruel. The mother, Grey skin, shrinking, harsh, was nothing like my real mother, who is none of those things. So they did not fit in the rolls...and the me awareness, that strode into the place, starts to grow. I become more aware, they look nothing like my parents. The man has a thin tie and short sleeved geek shirt, and is tall. My father was a bit round, and I saw him wear a tie twice in my life.
The mother was mocking and harsh, and also looked nothing like my mom. Again, aware, fully.
"Sowing The Seeds Of Love"
High time we made a stand and shook up the views of the common man
And the lovetrain rides from coast to coast
D.J.'s the man we love the most
Could you be, could you be squeaky clean
And smash any hope of democracry ?
As the headline says you're free to choose
There's egg on your face and mud on your shoes
One of these days they're gonna call it the blues
And anything is possible when you're Sowing the Seeds of Love
Anything is possible - Sowing the Seeds of Love
I spy tears in thier eyes
They look to the skies for some kind of divine intervention
Food goes to waste !
So nice to eat, so nice to taste
Politician Grannie with your high ideals
Have you no idea how the Majority feels ?
So without love and a promise land
We're fools to the rules of a Goverment plan
Kick out the style ! Bring back the jam !
Anything...
Sowing the Seeds
The birds and the bees
My girlfriend and me in love
Feel the pain
Talk about it
If you're a worried man - then shout about it
Open hearts - feel about it
Open minds - think about it
Everyone - read about it
Everyone - scream about it !
Everyone
Everyone - read about it, read about it
Read in the books in the crannies and the nooks there are books to read
Chorus !
(Mr. England Sowing the Seeds of Love)
Time to eat all your words
Swallow your pride
Open your eyes
High time we made a stand and shook up the views of the common man
Clearly dreaming. How to handle this? So I spoke tot he father, reached out with apology and understanding. I spoke to him. “I realize I made you upset, and for that I am sorry. But I have to be and do as I see right, but I do respect your opinion and listen........” I was interrupted by a huge wad of spit...spit right in my face. I stop speaking, and touch it, look at it. The mother chimes in “now you have done it”. I say nothing...i walk as far as the edge of the dream will let me, which is about 20 feet, slowly, aware. I turn and look at them. I look at the spit on my hand from my face. And something unthinking in me, with no emotion. Just acts. I look at him, and with a silent command levitate him in the air. Lets see what this, I say to myself. Lets see if its real, part of the setting...what. Let me try to push it out of the dream. And so, I slam it into the now viable walls...over and over, it wont go through. Its bleeding. “part of this dream like the plant” I think. Now im just testing the edges. I look at it, and shoot it into the air...a sensation, like a rocket breaking the sound barrier, leaving a shock-wave. It goes up and up. Ahh...no ceiling! I grab it, and slam it back to the earth. It hits the floor, and breaks into a mass of bone and flesh. “But there is, apparently a floor” I think to myself. Interesting Now I look at the mother, who has gone inert. Breathing silently. With her...i just lift her and throw her into the sky...as high as I can. Lets see if the outside of this circle in a circle is real. I fling it high and at an angle...and wait...it falls, falls...and lands not far from me in the “outside” field. She impacts and buries into the mud...only her feet and waste sticking up, and two stick legs...then a sound, of mud releasing gas, and the legs fall flat. Well, that’s done. Without a second though, I shoot into the sky, higher, joy, high. Clouds. I’m in the wispy clouds, and I see the dream as a symbol on a flat plane far below...i begin to fly for the feeling, before another dream catches me.
"Reach For The Sky"
Well I'm an outlaw
I make my living on the run
My life is lonely
But I was born to need no one
Always on my own
Oh'
My gun is loaded
I'm a six-shot heart attack
I pull the trigger
So you better watch your back
Looking out for #1 so you had better take this piece of advice
Make your move
Stick 'em up or kiss your ass goodbye
[Chorus:]
Reach for the sky
Or I will shoot you down in the blink of an eye
Reach for the sky
There's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
Reach for the sky
I got the drop on you so raise them high
Reach for the sky
Well it's a show down
This is what I do for fun
I got a reputation
Yeah I'm the fastest gun
I'm livin' on the highway
Movin' on from town to town
You better do it my way
Or I will shoot you down
Looking out for #1 so you had better take this piece of advice
Make your move
Stick 'em up or kiss your ass goodbye
But soon enough, one does. I’m still flying. Falling from the sky, space, towards the earth, is a large white spaceship, larger then a city. The...production values remind me of something from the 1970's... original star wars models for filming. I’m flying towards it, it seems, its massive, I skim over it and through canyons in its structure. A voice. Where the seed display was a man. Speaking. Looks like superman’s father, white clothes. I listen. Hes speaking of the code. To do no harm, to help these beings plummeting. Crashing, duty and honor, a speech. I’m not buying it. Then a dub over. A voice mocking it, like mst3k. Saying nah blow it up, make it crash. The two voices in an out. They call me jor el lol. I’m not wearing a S on my chest, or a V for villain. I’m annoyed again. And lucid. So I do neither things, I fly up, and out, into the void. And dreaming ends again, more flashes...faces, energy, loss of sense of time.
Again im in a dream. Again my sense of me is limited back down to being lucid in character. An odd one. I’m going to the “veterinarians” office. Two women on staff. I’m making an appointment to check on an old animal. The woman...are upset. Saying...well, im not a member client, no more walk ins. I have to agree to pay a set amount each month, and office visit fee upfront. I’m taken aback, this is the office of the vet who didn’t even bother charging more then half the time, we were friends...and sometimes I would just leave a few hundred dollars there for future work...so we didn’t really do allot of specific haggling when it was an emergency. I/we were good for it or pre paid. But not now. Arguing, saying I have to pay to be a client. They aren’t telling me something. I ask to see the vet. I am taken to her...no his office. Well, another weird element. The vet is Mr Williams, the old black guy who was my stand in grandfather, longtime family friend. Old. Very old, like he was a few years ago before he died. He explains that, He had given me allot of support, and I never signed any contracts. I’m going to need to, and agree to pay the set amount, he cant afford to keep feeding me for nothing. The office ladies are in the corner, agreeing with him. He told me he has to pay them, for the work etc. So I negotiate. I’m also coming lucid like I was in the other ones, but I don’t reject this one as fast. No need it seems. As we talk, I think of things ive done for him. A dream in the dream inner window. A chicken coop. The chickens are missing limbs, but alive. A fox that got in here did the damage...in a wheelchair from where the farmer shot him/her. I took them all in, the one legged chickens and wheelchair bound fox, for the vet. I say.... I think 50$ a month is fair, and I can not afford more. Its less then they asked, but they seem ready to accept. I say “i need to check with my mother, of course, as she is paying not I”. At this the “Vet” got agitated. “always a reason with you boy, ain’t there?” “Come over here boy, im gonna tan your backside for giving me lip. And like the real man would do, he was removing his belt to tan my backside. For some reason, lucid to the dream, this made me laugh. I said “OK, let me shrink to be a child and ill crawl around avoiding you for old times sake”. And I did. I hid under the desk, and was laughing. He...starts laughing. Its funny. But also to them clearly the gig was up. I walk out, and see the wall of a shopping mall at night...but the dream is ending despite my being lucid...fades, So the dream dissolves.
More of the same in between dreams. Deposited once again in a new setting, but im starting to see the patterns, why when one ends, another begins, the threads in awareness that get picked up, what im led to do or not in them. Its becoming interesting, and its keeping me more aware despite the dreams, and outside of them. Again it fades, but only so much. I am in a busy city, on a bright and sunny afternoon. I live in some apartments. To my left is a huge shopping mall (like the old .. AP) Red granite, curved columns that meet in ornamental arches, four stories tall the facade...a real place. I am coming out of an apartment building. A very busy street, 8 lanes, the size of a highway but with traffic lights. I’m on a side street. I cross the street to my new favorite spot. Its in front of some nondescript three story buildings. I sit on some red lava rocks, that are there instead of lawn. I come here to smoke it seems. I’m just soaking it in. Light a cigar thing. Start puffing, relaxed. I pull out my dream notepad, but somehow, access something else. I’m writing a PM. Its to ( ). I’m telling her I had to move again, to some apartments in the city, but its only in the dream, not real life. I talk about dreaming so far. I mention the mall is cool, its the one from the “free falling” video with tom petty, but im seeing the outside. Guess this is resceda...and no, there is not “a free way running through my yard”... although the street is the size of a highway. Do you know the song? Ill send some links. Hey come to think of it, all the flying and falling forms ive seen, I think this is a specific link/reference. How cool is that? Well, im bored atm, wanted to say hello. What are you dreaming... I kinda ramble on. As I do, somewhere outside the dream, I hear voices, tune in on them. “what is he doing?” “Writing a note it seems” “To who, in the dream...” “No a message to someone in the real world, but in dreams” “interesting”. “Does he not know of all the forms, power, around him?” At this I perk up, and quick send the message. I look around. Its literal, around me...the buildings that all look the same. I pick one where I feel the most...something. There are no door and windows. I jump in the air, and hold my knees, I float in the fetal position, the “egg” as I think of it. I say “Na nu Na nu” (Mork and Mindy reference) and propel myself through the wall of the building. I hover inside.
It's a long day, livin' in Reseda
There's a freeway, runnin' through the yard
And I'm a bad boy, 'cause I don't even miss her
I'm a bad boy for breakin' her heart
And I'm free, free fallin'
Yeah I'm free, free fallin'
All the vampires, walkin' through the valley
Move west down, Ventura Blvd.
And all the bad boys, are standing in the shadows
All the good girls, are home with broken hearts
In it are like 18 people...not figments. All silently studying. None of them feel too friendly. All self absorbed in books and papers. I clear my throut and say “hello, im Andrew, who are you guys and gals”. Its like...ahh, farting in a hot tub. They all look up angry. One speaks. “WE are studying infinity, YOU are interrupting”. I say I am? Confused. I look at what they are doing. One is writing, then giving it to the next to read, who writes something, and by the time the version the first wrote makes the writing/reading rounds, the person who started the chain thinks its confirmation...new info!. It so lame. And they are so full of it, wanting to hurt me for interrupting. I say. “Hey I made and egg and flew through the wall...any of you guys want to try?” the first man stand. He tells me “that is impossible, its not in the books...gesturing to their writings” “you are a distraction...be gone! Be dead!” they all start repeating it. What a bunch of assholes. “OK I will be gone, because you all are super fucking lame and rude...bye” and I fly back out in my egg shape. Huh that sucked. Let me check the roof....i levitate up. Nice! Another 18 or so people, these ones are on lawn chairs and talking. Well OK, its a bit better. Same deal, but this time I land. “Hi im Andrew, who are you...” I get told to shut the **** and how did you get here? This Is a place for serious sorcerers to find after a lifetime of study. “no its not” I say. Actually its a setting in the dream of los angeles and its real...well its a dream. I point at the hill, and some apartments on it, where sham and e gave me a book about therun with his symbol a few month ago. “Its just a dream”. “no its infinity he retorts” “No really, its just a dream...my dream I suspect” “your dream, you self important little obstacle!” Begone! Begone...again with the cult chanting. “im going” I say, “ill try downstairs”. Downstairs! they laugh, **** there is only here. “whatever” I say full of whit. So I fly back into the downstairs. Wtf. This is lame. Well this time when I fly in, I don’t get a change to talk, everyone is attacking me with the intent to kill. I uncurl and float above them. Its to far gone. I sigh. The me that knocked the parents around comes out.
Same deal...i lift the most hostile, and these too cant pass put of the room. So I smash them back and forth till they die and let them fall. Nope, they cant float. I hoped this would calm the rest down, but no. So I just lift them all and bash them around like inside a food blender. Some are pesky, pop back up a few times so they take a bit more smashing. When they are all dead or gone from dream forms, I go back out. I mu be covered with blood. I rise up again, warily. The group on the roof jump up to attack. I don’t even bother waiting or thinking. I start flicking them, like one might flick some paper...”can you fly” FLICK...into the sky, see them fall and splat. “nope” how about you...nope. Or you...nope. One by one. Now im just tired of it...so I try something new. With one pinch...i grasp the whole group by their energy strands, and punt them into the sky. I hold them...and then let them drop they still cant/wont fly. Then I kick them again...and again...the sound barrier shock wave thing...higher and higher...and then in the distance, they fall with the impact of bombs. Well...that’s what they wanted, that’s what they got. Now what the hell am I to do?
Oh the other building! This one has a door. I land and walk in. Its a bar...i think. But it looks like a house, bare white gypsum board, A man standing. There are only like 4 glasses, its bright and plain and small. A man and woman and an INVISABLE something pass me. They don’t see me they are leaving. I clearly see shamanka and... some guy called Chris Douglas. Exact features. (I told her today she asked me if he looked a certain way...he did). OK so they left. Only three stools. I sit. I’m thinking to find a friend from college, Ernie here. I’m about to ask. Seems this bar either just opened, or im afraid is about to close. Either way I should get a beer. So I make an order. They are surprised...they didn’t see me. No the guy Ernie isn’t here. I get a beer, and drink. A book Is on the bar. The book is entitled “J. Daniel” Weird title, a name. I look at it. I’m drawn into it. In it, is a void like between dreams. So I make my own dream, and then a man is seen. I dangle him in the sky I made by a leg with intent. I peer at him, ask him WTH is all of this. Test after test after test? He doesn’t say, by but what is ay I see something of the nature of these dreams. I let go of him and leave the book. I find I had opened it, and the words were writing themselves. I close it, thinking I have the final clue, and the dream dissolves. Same in between dream stuff...faces, voices, energy, sense of no time. And then it gets interesting when I form again.
Finally im all me. All one being not two in and out of myself. Solid, not wavering. In, but through seeing, outside of the dream at the same time. How I used to dream, always, no dampened awareness, no lack of lucidity and understanding. Me...me how I was before I agreed to limit awareness for data exchange. Each dream had been waking me up more and more, was less and less a containing reality...and now, here I am. Here WE are, for we all were here, but not dreaming together...but in between...in between, we were. So I sit.
It something like a large “language lab” in a university. One way glass mirrors on one side, rooms of to either edge. In it I find us, people from here. But forms are shifted, and even change. Tired it seems. This space is not a dream, its...second attention, but not the active process of a dream, its energetically real, not a play or unfolding. It just is. One of those spaces. Its not moving on its own, like dreams do to cycles or rhythms. Its...very solid and independent. However, people in it Are dreaming, related, separate dreams. Between, they are fully in this space, awake, aware, but I don’t think any of this gets remembered. Often. Understanding what this, I look off to the sides...through the one way glass, and listen. Beings. Monitoring everything, selecting dreams, scenarios, in ranges of probabilities. But how can they get the same data, when everyone dreams different, and at different levels of awareness? This is soon answered. A figure emerges from a door. Energy...attention, becomes dreams, separate dreams! So for one person, the figure is a tall threatening black man. How will the react? For another a variation, a poor rural black man, thin and old (reminds me a bit of my “grandfather” he was born a sharecropper. For another person...a horrible monster, with dark skin, snarling. I saw this figure get incorporated into twelve or more dreams at once. The figure walked into the room. I had no dream, but for the setting. But I saw all the reactions, and them being watched. So I decided to act. My default was a being like the ones behind the glass, but also it had some monster teeth. I greeted Him. “hello, where are we, and what are you? Would you like a seat friend? My name is Andrew, do you have one?” the figure stopped. And looked at me with peering eyes. Energy...i saw all the dreams shift to this tone, calm down, there wasn’t this surge of dream energy. The figure left the room, and people slowly woke up...some with memory, some not. But it seems in all cases, the fact not to be afraid got through. A few remembered...saw something was off. This made the beings in the other room pause, and start new calculations. I was uneasy to see a big group of them suddenly take an interest in my data. I extended awareness to see it. A line of energy, that picked up other threads, and spun like a turning drill bit, but soft and in energy, swirling. I return myself to the room. We are served food, as we all are so worn out it seems now. I sit across from a woman, looks like my blonde (bleached) cousin from my moms dead twin, who is 16 years older then me. And lived a hard life. Funny though, my favorite cousin. But it snot her, and the form is saying something else, about the current state. Its actually ( ), who looks younger then me and is close to my age. But no matter, I know. We speak. We are telling a joke, a kind of off color one. Another man, again, form shifted,d but knew who it was, hisses. “what are you two thinking, saying such things when they are listening to EVERYTHING and it comes to be in dreams? We say we know, but its no reason to not have a bit of a laugh. After we eat, it fades, same in between thing goes on with faces and energy.
New dream. We are each in a car, the car forms a convoy, we are racing at height speed to get to or away from something on a rural, two lane highway. A hill, then a bend. The beings from before...are ahead. They stand all over the road, in short lines, arms linked. Strangely, they were the pants like highway patrol, and a few have hats and glasses. But no shirts, and their solid, like living rock inhumanity shoes. They are without features, ears, lips etc. As we get closer, i see that they are doing, they space themselves on either side of the convoy, and then one or two stands in the road, in a pattern, to make sure no vehicle does not hit them. Again, I see it is not a convoy, it is linked but separate dreams. Each will have a dream of “running into” a law enforcement officer. Literally or figuratively. That’s the start of each dream. Again, im not dreaming like that. So I watch. Not the dreams, and I do nothing to stop this one, I cant, but what happens next, on this level. A side dream, a park, a picnic like a police day picnic. A banner. For two dreamers a shift. For them the police were also...like KKK, Aryan nation or some similar group. They offered to let some of them come to learn secrets. And two, despite what they saw, the bad stuff accepted the offer. Again this was all noted, and then their dreaming continued. This bugged me, so I deliberately entered that dream reality to watch/learn.
I enter the dream, and im in a small town, rather gentile, in the deep south. I had the air of pre American civil war...idealized, like gone with the wind or something. The two were learning, secrets, I saw a platinum ring with a large star cut emerald as a symbol. But...it was all the same as the other dreams. I saw enough, so I decide to poke around. I see a building like an opera house/theater, so I pop in to look. Small, but very ornate, a single large theater stage. A woman, one of the beings, but I knew female, was standing looking at the stage props. Very beautiful, long hair, but that was the dream. Like a ballerina or dancer. I walk right up to her and stand a few feet back, and clear my throut. I ask her what is all of this, and why a theater when the dream is in the “masons lodge” of this setting? She turns and looks at me appraising, then tells me. Dream might go here, a theater production, might not. Props are set in case its so. I ask about dancing, and putting on the plays (dreams) she is looking at me, I feel feeling my energy behind the form. She smiles. And says she can show me. And gets on stage, and does the nicest dance, and smiles. She says that could be part of their dream. I laugh nah knowing those two it wont get past the emerald ring and cavalry swords and old books. She doesn’t laugh, but she smiles. Then she shows me how to dance a bit on stage, and its really nice...despite being an overlay over the same sort of being, who cares, we all are...well, not human really, are we? That’s what the black man and Klan elements were gauging. Reactions to other, or to people who judge. It was really complicated all the things being measured, but I could see it somehow.
I’m really happy, and the more happy I get, the more energy I pour into things. Soon, to both out our surprise, I create a dream reality in the dream reality, that is just vibrant. A walk along the river under the willows, big wisps of cotton from seed pods blowing in the air. A picnic. Music, so alive, I was feeding it. We both were in it, and enjoying the reality as if it WAS reality. Both me and this being. I was some sort of southern cavalry man. At some point, like a magic film, I got down on one knee and proposed. I knew it was a dream, but it was also real. I asked for her to stay in here with me, to let it become the reality. She smiled. WE were frozen in time. And then, it was back to the playhouse. “no she said with a shake of her head, if we did that, and it was tempting, to be...human, and with me, even if only in a reality like that. But if we did, we both would be caught in a static place, no change, no growth, like frozen in time. Like death. She enjoyed emotions, and thanked me for the first hand data, but...it was not practical. Well of course I knew, so I nodded, and then left this setting. Back to the road. But I was still in it in awareness, and she knew. Three of the same beings came up to her, to ask her what that was, get more information, fascinated. I see I had left the dream, and a me and her, frozen like a living picture, in that space. They were measuring it with instruments. The lady spoke. “He Tripled the density of this reality, energetically, by applying emotions...its SOLID” the others were taken aback. One of them said...hes a cusp player...how many of them are in the game...2, 3 ? That we have found another being said. The third male being asked. “should we remove him?” “whose piece is he, is he ours, another...whose?” Something about the game became clear to me. The game was reality, all 7 billion of us human and everything else alive and not alive in the AP of the tonal. The rules were unknown, always changing. The goals were unknown and changing. The sides were even unknown to these beings, and the pieces in it. The game was simply...like a dance, what emerged at the end...who could shape it, why, what unexpected things might arise. That was the game, like a vast chess set with a trillion pieces, and no known rules, or goal, just being to see what could come! That was reality. Awareness doing that. The female spoke. “No, does it matter whose side? Did you see the reading from before, and then this? Let him...let them play, Enjoy the beauty. They all agreed. I had a joke in me, for her, something funny. In the dream the music was sublime, woven into the willows, the wind, the air. As I left, I switched it around, to an old rock song. Finally she laughed, and the other beings looked stunned and interested in why...a bit of the dream self stays in the non dream second attention after all. And then I woke for the day.
I was born under a bad sign,
Left out in the cold
I'm a lonely man who knows
Just what it means to lose control
But, I took all the heartache
And turned it to shame,
Now I'm moving, moving on,
And I ain't taking the blame
Don't come running to me,
I know I've done all I can
A hard loving woman like you
Just makes a hard loving man
So I can say it to you, babe
I'll be a fool for your loving no more,
A fool for your loving no more
I'm so tired of trying, I always end up crying,
Fool for your loving no more
I'll be a fool for your loving no more
I'm tired of hiding my feelings,
You left me lonely too long
I gave my heart, and you tore it apart,
Oh, baby, you done me wrong
Don't come running to me,
I know I've done all I can
A hard loving woman like you
Just makes a hard loving man
This evening, I looked up cusp. The standard usage is “on the edge” in a negative way. Like “on the cusp of being cut”. But that’s not how they used it. So I pulled the definitions. Full Definition of CUSP
: point, apex: as
a : a point of transition (as from one historical period to the next) : turning point; also : edge, verge
b : either horn of a crescent moon
c : a fixed point on a mathematical curve at which a point tracing the curve would exactly reverse its direction of motion
d : an ornamental pointed projection formed by or arising from the intersection of two arcs or foils
e (1) : a point on the grinding surface of a tooth (2) : a fold or flap of a cardiac valve
I think what they meant was fluid on the point.