09-19-2015, 12:00 AM
9/17-18/15 If i were "king", what would i REALLY be like.
Dreaming answered this question, by experiencing it. I had thought about it, at some point, yesterday. I was looking honestly at myself. That i'm not as smart or clever as i once fancied myself to be. That i seem to over react, which is all in proportion inside of me, but what if, it was free to manifest without consequence, what would i, what would i make, what would it be like, truly? I had reason o wonder, at least from dreams. Once i was left to explore the consequences of my rebellion long ago, when i somehow ok over and re ordered 2/3 of the universe, in the dream world. And only stopped when i became aware of how wrong what i was doing was...trying to make things right. the consequences of that. Another time i watched political leaders who did great evil, over and over, the moment when they fell, had realisation. What they thought, why, and how others reacted. it was all ugly. So i'm wary of those questions, but yesterday, for some reason, i asked it again. Dreaming showed me something strange.
- the place i'm in, is nice. Clean and orderly, without being restrictive. vibrant. full of people pursuing their own dreams, meeting, having fun, learning. Like a dynamic community. things just seem to work, without an overly organized government, seems like every little place has its own organic council, and things are decided on by them together for structure wide issues. Not allot of overt strength, in term sof police or military. They are there, but its part time, and embedded into the large community, not separate structures. these were my observations living in it for a time. Also, i was the king, in the sense that i could make it anything i wanted. but i left it alone...really, no one recognized me, or that there was "A" ruler, and that was how it should be. So people don't feel dispossessed, hostile, or even needy. Works great, right? not always. spirit, and spirit beings, view that, democracy, as the tyranny of the low. Most beings aren't...aware, so to place those that are, at the mercy of life and death on the whims of the mob, and the wicked, is the most foolish of things. That its evil, in a way. That said, the understand some nuance of it, and basically, as none of us here are that much more than any other, its works OK for us primitive swarms. They just look at it as bug like intelligence, pheromones, posturing, etc. Spiritual realms are the opposite of both dictatorship and democracy. with unbalance, or lack of understanding, it always goes "logans run".
- I am touring a small eatery. this whole city, is in one building, like a large mall or space colony with spires under a dome. I am looking at the menu. the food is wonderfully strange. Haute cuisine, tiny individual portions, many of which are baked into crusts like beef wellington. but some of the crusts are seaweed like sushi, bacon, all sorts of things that complements the interior. I sample a section of lobster tail, cut scallop like, that is wrapped in some casing that seems to be made of...soft squid lightly fried or battered that holds in it liquid butter. it is...wow. the flavors pop. The place is crowded, so i decide to help them by being a server. I go to tables and laugh, and suggest things, and talk with customers. Take orders, and i'm enjoying myself. But then some of those people come in. Older, pinched faces, two women and a small man. Aloof, and hostile. particularly to servers. But i smile and tell them of things to eat. they inform me, rudely, that they will order what they want, and not to be too familiar and to know my place. I am surprised by what i feel, but i say fair enough, and smile and leave. But i was not sufficiently cowered. The woman stands and demands of an employee to see the manager. I here her telling him that she demands my job for daring to suggest something to someone of her stature. the manager doesn't know who she is talking about. When he leaves to find out, i approach him, and introduce myself. He doesn't believe me, until i show him the real me. which is a shock, to him, as he did not think that being was real. I ask him to gently tell the woman, that it is wrong to assume superiority, and to take out her frustration on those she deems beneath her. But to also inquire what he...we can do, to help her, because that felt like a wasting illness, and i saw a pallor in her flesh, a greyness. He agrees. I hear him whispering to her, and then she looks around the room frantically, for me i suppose, but i've removed myself from being seeable. I also had the manager tell herm, because he is more practiced, and id get hurt by what i felt from her. and then i might react in a bad way. which is unfair to us all. I leave.
- I was more shaken by that then i was comfortable with. When i recover somewhat, there is a special day. IT is a holiday, a promise day it seems. When parents speak to their children, and children to their parents, and promise to do their bests, and not see them as alien, but to love and know, and try their best. Its a sweet day, like an affirmation, to love and do ones best from that. It seems to be a big deal with children and parents. I join these strange workers...not quite priests, not quite social workers...and a big like entertainers, who go door to door to witness each affirmation. Not everyone does this inside a home, or apartment. Again i end up in a dinner. More of a workman like "greasy spoon". A man behind the order counter, int he kitchen. A thin and sallow man. e gives his affirmation to his son, who shyl, and with fear approaches. the child looks haggered, like his bones were melted and reformed wrong. He is clutching a toy car. tightly. what the father says seems nice, but the child cringes. The priests, notice something, but its not their place to judge or see more deeply, just to facilitate. But i see. Its horrible abuse. To these others, the child's body looks normal, but im seeing underneath. So i look into the abuse anger. there is sexual abuse in it. I recoil. I speak what is not said or seen out loud. the priests pause. Im looking like the true me again. They had seen me as an acolyte or trainee. the father screams at me, about his rights. he still doesn't see me. I notice a string of people similar to him, but in different degrees of corruption. and they all have children they hurt. there is no need for subtly, or process. I tell the priests to take that man outside the walls. that he is, as he is, banished. They...aren't sure how. That snot how this place works. there is no rela outside, but there is...a place where it meets the larger universe. i tell them how. They...are confused, still, but they can now see what i saw, and they agree. They have to sing for...their voices, "police". there is no standing police force. The horrible man is taken, and the child is gathered by a woman to be safe or to be helped.
- | am unsettled again, and i want to return to my personal space, which is not known to these people. I decide to walk, to consider. I find myself in my "outer alcove". which is some quiet government center that nobody ever leaves or enters. In it, i find a group of a dozen men. they are middle eastern, soldiers. they are equipped like US special forces, and have very advanced body armour, and other equipment. Professional. I interrupt them working. there is a large square sink, shallow, made of black basalt like stone. Its a pool of molten gold, that spills from three channels into a lower pool, and then is recirculated upwards. the looked towards me, but not at me. when i spoke, it seemed they saw me. They relaxed in relief. It was clear they were waiting for me, they had set up here rather than looking for me, as i'm apparently not easy to find. Takes to much energy if i don't want to be found. We speak. They are here to pledge me their services. their leader, is very soft spoken, but powerful sounding. this was symbolism, but they were once "republican guards". that is to say, elite soldiers who protected a regime. Is this not a regime, do i not need that? I have none. And it is true, there are none here. He is practiced, honed, and the words cary not wisdom, but power. I am considering. Would that be right here? i do not think so. Would i have a need? to eject rude diners and abusive fathers? no. To wage war? against whom. this place is internal, not external, the external is a bridge that they can't find. On the other hand. it is possible i might. I weigh with seeing and feeling. The leader, he goes to the fountain/table with grooves with molten gold. he takes something out. He places it in my hand. At first glance it is a large ring. He tells me to put it on, and it is done. I feel it in my hand. I examine it. It is not a ring. It seemed one, but...it is large, ir would cover a whole finger, but on the surface, it was but a normal ring. It is large, and gold. On it...in a space that seems etched, and semi melted, are two cobra snakes. the snakes move. One becomes large, the other curls under it, it forms a symbol. I do not understand the symbol, my mind. then i see something i do. It...looks like a cobra symbol, from the old GI joe cartoon. And yet, it simply formed that, to show me...context. I look up. the leader is more frantic. that is to say, his voice has an edge. "just put it on and command us". I think, and then i reply, "to what end". Silence. they murmur somehow between them. One of the 12, at the edge, turns to me and speaks. He tells me not to listen, that they are hunted, and the leader is trying to make me take that burden from them. They hiss for him to be silent. I appreciate his candor, but it was as i already thought. Its all in some balance. My focus shifts from them, to what is hunting them. I hold the object in my hand, and go into a silent near trance.
- I see the object more clearly. It is not a ring. And it is not gold. It is a mass of metallic energy, grey blue. it is something impossibly strong. something that can't be destroyed, and yet, it was partially melted. It was...is, a part of...something connected with their former leader. Who was destroyed. And something hunts them still. they came to my city, for refuge, but found no other to enlist with for protection. So they looked, and waited, and eventually, they found me. But it was not, what they are used too. Fear. They were beings, iobs, entities, who were afraid, of something, not fear as we know it. I put what they asked aside. I woke from the trance. I look at my hand. the gold covering on this thing had partially worn, in my hand. its form was as i saw it in the other seeing. I lifted it to me eye. there was but a hairline crack, through the center. But i knew it would shift to accept my finger. I did not put it on. I put it in my pocket instead. I felt into the fountain. this to was as i saw. They took the gold, which is metallic light from the death of a star, its remains, (as gold unlike other elements is not created in stars, but rather from gamma ray bursts when two dead stars collide...it is universally rare in the cosmos) from their own bodies, and bits they could find, to create the illusion of the power. I felt into the earth, deep, where things are kept. Even in dreams. I found a vein of gold, 2 metric tons. I drew it up, connected it with the font. When i did, the alter table/work table, the basin got deeper, and it got more full. I did this to help them. It was also me allowing their presence, but not their service, which was really, an attempt for me to take responsibility for what they had done, that got them hunted. To make me and this place the focus. Which i would then "need" them to confront. I was sidestepping it. I was also tired. I went into my inner chamber to rest. And left them to help themselves in here as they could. I took the blue grey god metal, but as a keeper, not as a wielder. It also needed further study. the metal was blue black, looking at it it was then black. looking deeper it was "full of stars".
- I'm not sure i slept, but time passed, i did not even see where i went. i become aware when i leave wherever it is. I re enter the room. A being, not unlike the metal, is standing. He is placing one of the 12s skinned face on the gold table. There are limbs everywhere. It turns and looks at me, but it is blank. It is...death, thats the easy part. That's not exactly what it was. It was unconcerned with me. After it placed the last skinned face, it left. It had dismembered and organized 11 of the soldiers. the 12th, the one that warned me, was unharmed. He told me it didn't want him, it never had. anymore then that entity came for me. he had never done whatever earned its attention. That was why, again, they wanted me to accept their service, to be the one it would come for, which would make me use the city to resist, and make them safer. It was a trick, but not a lie. An omission i sensed. I asked the 12 th soldier, if he could help the 11 who were skinned into parts. With threads of gold. He...believed so, if he had access to the light gold, which he now did. The outer alcove then became their workshop for making things. This one of the beings was the most helpful. So i took no oaths, but i did have them, would, just not as tightly. which seemed to be the operating methodology of this entire place.
- I travel outside the city, outside the dome. From the outside, it looks like a huge half buried egg, made of whitish stone. Almost like eggshell, but more grey. the man i banished, is here. He is folded over and over like taffe. there is a table of bamboo. And spikes made of the same bamboo material. Like a meat loom, perhaps. the spikes penetrate the still living man over and over, and he folds. and it ran through them, then again. It's not torture. Although it hurts. And it is not healing, although he gets stronger. Its a fundamental repurposing of matter and spirit. Its an outside the dome thing, never inside. It would be upsetting. To them. and me. 4 people come from the other side of a low rise. And stop. It is two of the ones who drew strength from this ones wretchedness, and sickness. They had...left the dome. Left the city, to seek the others. They spoke to them. They were doing this before. they see the man. I turn to them, and say this is his reprocessing. They look at me in horror. each one had a child. they grabbed their children's arms, and declared that i was evil, that they would leave this place. I simply let them go. they were outside, and outside, I had no right at all to other than allow it. Although, again, that is my rule. my preference. It is not a universal rule. But its best if they all think it is. That's a power then, when they think it is not the way it truly is. my own omission. not correcting their beliefs. Or clarifying my preference from rules. but, all they would have to do is ask, and i would explain. but they never do, or don't know how. Too arrogant and ignorant. so i let them go. sad for children, but they are also most protected, here. the 4 were going tot he others. You see, there are armies, beyond, waiting to come in. they never find a way. They try, and fall back. the internal strength, of belief, the open and enthusiastic society inside, vitality, repulses them. But then, there is also rot, it cant be helped. just contained and constantly healed. But these bits, are free. they will bring the infection, the others arms. But them beings inside, will be re sewn with gold. to wait outside. None of this bothered me. this was old story, like the sunrise and sunset. To answer my own question before sleep, i thought i managed my inner and outer states, and by extension, these realms, with creative flair, a minimal touch, and great respect and care. If i were a king, as i am, does it matter? m not the most clever, or strongest, but i do well. Well enough. also, i am those things, they just arent the best approach inside. So i was happy. and i woke for the day.
I was happy because i was better then i dared hope. In many ways, even if imperfect. which was not at all the answer i expected. if i even got an answer, which i did not expect.
Dreaming answered this question, by experiencing it. I had thought about it, at some point, yesterday. I was looking honestly at myself. That i'm not as smart or clever as i once fancied myself to be. That i seem to over react, which is all in proportion inside of me, but what if, it was free to manifest without consequence, what would i, what would i make, what would it be like, truly? I had reason o wonder, at least from dreams. Once i was left to explore the consequences of my rebellion long ago, when i somehow ok over and re ordered 2/3 of the universe, in the dream world. And only stopped when i became aware of how wrong what i was doing was...trying to make things right. the consequences of that. Another time i watched political leaders who did great evil, over and over, the moment when they fell, had realisation. What they thought, why, and how others reacted. it was all ugly. So i'm wary of those questions, but yesterday, for some reason, i asked it again. Dreaming showed me something strange.
- the place i'm in, is nice. Clean and orderly, without being restrictive. vibrant. full of people pursuing their own dreams, meeting, having fun, learning. Like a dynamic community. things just seem to work, without an overly organized government, seems like every little place has its own organic council, and things are decided on by them together for structure wide issues. Not allot of overt strength, in term sof police or military. They are there, but its part time, and embedded into the large community, not separate structures. these were my observations living in it for a time. Also, i was the king, in the sense that i could make it anything i wanted. but i left it alone...really, no one recognized me, or that there was "A" ruler, and that was how it should be. So people don't feel dispossessed, hostile, or even needy. Works great, right? not always. spirit, and spirit beings, view that, democracy, as the tyranny of the low. Most beings aren't...aware, so to place those that are, at the mercy of life and death on the whims of the mob, and the wicked, is the most foolish of things. That its evil, in a way. That said, the understand some nuance of it, and basically, as none of us here are that much more than any other, its works OK for us primitive swarms. They just look at it as bug like intelligence, pheromones, posturing, etc. Spiritual realms are the opposite of both dictatorship and democracy. with unbalance, or lack of understanding, it always goes "logans run".
- I am touring a small eatery. this whole city, is in one building, like a large mall or space colony with spires under a dome. I am looking at the menu. the food is wonderfully strange. Haute cuisine, tiny individual portions, many of which are baked into crusts like beef wellington. but some of the crusts are seaweed like sushi, bacon, all sorts of things that complements the interior. I sample a section of lobster tail, cut scallop like, that is wrapped in some casing that seems to be made of...soft squid lightly fried or battered that holds in it liquid butter. it is...wow. the flavors pop. The place is crowded, so i decide to help them by being a server. I go to tables and laugh, and suggest things, and talk with customers. Take orders, and i'm enjoying myself. But then some of those people come in. Older, pinched faces, two women and a small man. Aloof, and hostile. particularly to servers. But i smile and tell them of things to eat. they inform me, rudely, that they will order what they want, and not to be too familiar and to know my place. I am surprised by what i feel, but i say fair enough, and smile and leave. But i was not sufficiently cowered. The woman stands and demands of an employee to see the manager. I here her telling him that she demands my job for daring to suggest something to someone of her stature. the manager doesn't know who she is talking about. When he leaves to find out, i approach him, and introduce myself. He doesn't believe me, until i show him the real me. which is a shock, to him, as he did not think that being was real. I ask him to gently tell the woman, that it is wrong to assume superiority, and to take out her frustration on those she deems beneath her. But to also inquire what he...we can do, to help her, because that felt like a wasting illness, and i saw a pallor in her flesh, a greyness. He agrees. I hear him whispering to her, and then she looks around the room frantically, for me i suppose, but i've removed myself from being seeable. I also had the manager tell herm, because he is more practiced, and id get hurt by what i felt from her. and then i might react in a bad way. which is unfair to us all. I leave.
- I was more shaken by that then i was comfortable with. When i recover somewhat, there is a special day. IT is a holiday, a promise day it seems. When parents speak to their children, and children to their parents, and promise to do their bests, and not see them as alien, but to love and know, and try their best. Its a sweet day, like an affirmation, to love and do ones best from that. It seems to be a big deal with children and parents. I join these strange workers...not quite priests, not quite social workers...and a big like entertainers, who go door to door to witness each affirmation. Not everyone does this inside a home, or apartment. Again i end up in a dinner. More of a workman like "greasy spoon". A man behind the order counter, int he kitchen. A thin and sallow man. e gives his affirmation to his son, who shyl, and with fear approaches. the child looks haggered, like his bones were melted and reformed wrong. He is clutching a toy car. tightly. what the father says seems nice, but the child cringes. The priests, notice something, but its not their place to judge or see more deeply, just to facilitate. But i see. Its horrible abuse. To these others, the child's body looks normal, but im seeing underneath. So i look into the abuse anger. there is sexual abuse in it. I recoil. I speak what is not said or seen out loud. the priests pause. Im looking like the true me again. They had seen me as an acolyte or trainee. the father screams at me, about his rights. he still doesn't see me. I notice a string of people similar to him, but in different degrees of corruption. and they all have children they hurt. there is no need for subtly, or process. I tell the priests to take that man outside the walls. that he is, as he is, banished. They...aren't sure how. That snot how this place works. there is no rela outside, but there is...a place where it meets the larger universe. i tell them how. They...are confused, still, but they can now see what i saw, and they agree. They have to sing for...their voices, "police". there is no standing police force. The horrible man is taken, and the child is gathered by a woman to be safe or to be helped.
- | am unsettled again, and i want to return to my personal space, which is not known to these people. I decide to walk, to consider. I find myself in my "outer alcove". which is some quiet government center that nobody ever leaves or enters. In it, i find a group of a dozen men. they are middle eastern, soldiers. they are equipped like US special forces, and have very advanced body armour, and other equipment. Professional. I interrupt them working. there is a large square sink, shallow, made of black basalt like stone. Its a pool of molten gold, that spills from three channels into a lower pool, and then is recirculated upwards. the looked towards me, but not at me. when i spoke, it seemed they saw me. They relaxed in relief. It was clear they were waiting for me, they had set up here rather than looking for me, as i'm apparently not easy to find. Takes to much energy if i don't want to be found. We speak. They are here to pledge me their services. their leader, is very soft spoken, but powerful sounding. this was symbolism, but they were once "republican guards". that is to say, elite soldiers who protected a regime. Is this not a regime, do i not need that? I have none. And it is true, there are none here. He is practiced, honed, and the words cary not wisdom, but power. I am considering. Would that be right here? i do not think so. Would i have a need? to eject rude diners and abusive fathers? no. To wage war? against whom. this place is internal, not external, the external is a bridge that they can't find. On the other hand. it is possible i might. I weigh with seeing and feeling. The leader, he goes to the fountain/table with grooves with molten gold. he takes something out. He places it in my hand. At first glance it is a large ring. He tells me to put it on, and it is done. I feel it in my hand. I examine it. It is not a ring. It seemed one, but...it is large, ir would cover a whole finger, but on the surface, it was but a normal ring. It is large, and gold. On it...in a space that seems etched, and semi melted, are two cobra snakes. the snakes move. One becomes large, the other curls under it, it forms a symbol. I do not understand the symbol, my mind. then i see something i do. It...looks like a cobra symbol, from the old GI joe cartoon. And yet, it simply formed that, to show me...context. I look up. the leader is more frantic. that is to say, his voice has an edge. "just put it on and command us". I think, and then i reply, "to what end". Silence. they murmur somehow between them. One of the 12, at the edge, turns to me and speaks. He tells me not to listen, that they are hunted, and the leader is trying to make me take that burden from them. They hiss for him to be silent. I appreciate his candor, but it was as i already thought. Its all in some balance. My focus shifts from them, to what is hunting them. I hold the object in my hand, and go into a silent near trance.
- I see the object more clearly. It is not a ring. And it is not gold. It is a mass of metallic energy, grey blue. it is something impossibly strong. something that can't be destroyed, and yet, it was partially melted. It was...is, a part of...something connected with their former leader. Who was destroyed. And something hunts them still. they came to my city, for refuge, but found no other to enlist with for protection. So they looked, and waited, and eventually, they found me. But it was not, what they are used too. Fear. They were beings, iobs, entities, who were afraid, of something, not fear as we know it. I put what they asked aside. I woke from the trance. I look at my hand. the gold covering on this thing had partially worn, in my hand. its form was as i saw it in the other seeing. I lifted it to me eye. there was but a hairline crack, through the center. But i knew it would shift to accept my finger. I did not put it on. I put it in my pocket instead. I felt into the fountain. this to was as i saw. They took the gold, which is metallic light from the death of a star, its remains, (as gold unlike other elements is not created in stars, but rather from gamma ray bursts when two dead stars collide...it is universally rare in the cosmos) from their own bodies, and bits they could find, to create the illusion of the power. I felt into the earth, deep, where things are kept. Even in dreams. I found a vein of gold, 2 metric tons. I drew it up, connected it with the font. When i did, the alter table/work table, the basin got deeper, and it got more full. I did this to help them. It was also me allowing their presence, but not their service, which was really, an attempt for me to take responsibility for what they had done, that got them hunted. To make me and this place the focus. Which i would then "need" them to confront. I was sidestepping it. I was also tired. I went into my inner chamber to rest. And left them to help themselves in here as they could. I took the blue grey god metal, but as a keeper, not as a wielder. It also needed further study. the metal was blue black, looking at it it was then black. looking deeper it was "full of stars".
- I'm not sure i slept, but time passed, i did not even see where i went. i become aware when i leave wherever it is. I re enter the room. A being, not unlike the metal, is standing. He is placing one of the 12s skinned face on the gold table. There are limbs everywhere. It turns and looks at me, but it is blank. It is...death, thats the easy part. That's not exactly what it was. It was unconcerned with me. After it placed the last skinned face, it left. It had dismembered and organized 11 of the soldiers. the 12th, the one that warned me, was unharmed. He told me it didn't want him, it never had. anymore then that entity came for me. he had never done whatever earned its attention. That was why, again, they wanted me to accept their service, to be the one it would come for, which would make me use the city to resist, and make them safer. It was a trick, but not a lie. An omission i sensed. I asked the 12 th soldier, if he could help the 11 who were skinned into parts. With threads of gold. He...believed so, if he had access to the light gold, which he now did. The outer alcove then became their workshop for making things. This one of the beings was the most helpful. So i took no oaths, but i did have them, would, just not as tightly. which seemed to be the operating methodology of this entire place.
- I travel outside the city, outside the dome. From the outside, it looks like a huge half buried egg, made of whitish stone. Almost like eggshell, but more grey. the man i banished, is here. He is folded over and over like taffe. there is a table of bamboo. And spikes made of the same bamboo material. Like a meat loom, perhaps. the spikes penetrate the still living man over and over, and he folds. and it ran through them, then again. It's not torture. Although it hurts. And it is not healing, although he gets stronger. Its a fundamental repurposing of matter and spirit. Its an outside the dome thing, never inside. It would be upsetting. To them. and me. 4 people come from the other side of a low rise. And stop. It is two of the ones who drew strength from this ones wretchedness, and sickness. They had...left the dome. Left the city, to seek the others. They spoke to them. They were doing this before. they see the man. I turn to them, and say this is his reprocessing. They look at me in horror. each one had a child. they grabbed their children's arms, and declared that i was evil, that they would leave this place. I simply let them go. they were outside, and outside, I had no right at all to other than allow it. Although, again, that is my rule. my preference. It is not a universal rule. But its best if they all think it is. That's a power then, when they think it is not the way it truly is. my own omission. not correcting their beliefs. Or clarifying my preference from rules. but, all they would have to do is ask, and i would explain. but they never do, or don't know how. Too arrogant and ignorant. so i let them go. sad for children, but they are also most protected, here. the 4 were going tot he others. You see, there are armies, beyond, waiting to come in. they never find a way. They try, and fall back. the internal strength, of belief, the open and enthusiastic society inside, vitality, repulses them. But then, there is also rot, it cant be helped. just contained and constantly healed. But these bits, are free. they will bring the infection, the others arms. But them beings inside, will be re sewn with gold. to wait outside. None of this bothered me. this was old story, like the sunrise and sunset. To answer my own question before sleep, i thought i managed my inner and outer states, and by extension, these realms, with creative flair, a minimal touch, and great respect and care. If i were a king, as i am, does it matter? m not the most clever, or strongest, but i do well. Well enough. also, i am those things, they just arent the best approach inside. So i was happy. and i woke for the day.
I was happy because i was better then i dared hope. In many ways, even if imperfect. which was not at all the answer i expected. if i even got an answer, which i did not expect.