12-19-2015, 12:00 AM
yes i have experienced this serloco, you're right of course, and thanks for writing man, more inspiration! there is much i forget to write and get a little lost when trying to write. its like i know more than i think. and what im writing is maybe things ive already figured out yet it sounds like im still trying to figure them out. im having fun, whatever. i do see that more cohesion is necessary.
haha billy, thank you for the kind words. i feel like saying that i am enjoying your indlugence post, you have a way with words - you amaze me. and i wanted to mention number 5 was very interesting to me. i will write as spirit moves me, and i dont feel like jumping in right now, im looking forward to hearing more tho. thank you for posting here, fwiw it helps and inspires me.
i know that i am confident now, i am making some beautiful changes in my world. my life wasnt so great before, and without serloco's help i dont know what id be doing now - thank you serloco for showing me Spirit. i did some recap recently as i was sitting in this same room around a year ago, and just the thought of comparison between the states was enough to jolt me. i realised that all that has changed is awareness, that the energy body does not change at all. i had the idea of transferring my awareness to my energy body a while ago and the more that i tried to work with this idea, the more illusive it got. i mean that somewhere along the line, definitely within the last year, i have connected my awareness to my energy body, this is the way that i explain how i have managed to do some of the things that i have done. i draw energy from God (or the unknown), i see what i need to do and i dont feel as confused or unable to act as i used to, this confidence is just the ability to act, to direct my awareness, to be aware, or to penetrate the Soul of the World (from the alchemist), it is the path of heart.
its funny that all that i really feel is helping others. i dont know how or why. it is why i made steps to become a teacher, and also why i got scared when i found out that in that state back then, i definitely wasnt in a position to help.
i made a good friend on the teaching course, one of our teachers, and he was exceptional with me. he embodies the teacher archetype, and is compassionate, but also ruthless. i remember the day he 'broke' me (as i insist on describing this event to myself, it was definitely necessary at the time), in the canteen after a particularly bad observation. he was so calm, and controlled, and asked me questions that just left me unable to speak. i didnt answer. i knew the answers, and this was what he was doing. i obviously was raging, simultaneously calm. i knew that he was right, and so my angry thoughts meant nothing and i couldnt give them any power, also that he seemed angry with me, yet i realised that this was because he was trying to help me and i was just acting like an ****. it has been a long time since that day and only recently i have turned myself round to the point where i would be at ease teaching, and i know that id be able to do it perfectly. i know that on the day that i start teaching i will be scared, for sure, yet i know that i will be fine. i know that i didnt miss this boat, the boat waited for me. i wasnt ready and there was no way that reality would allow me to teach until i was. its the idea of impeccability that takes over and i cannot act otherwise, or at least i have to be impeccable - some times i know that i am not.
throughout this post i know that ally is helping me, yet i dont really speak of it as this is obvious to me. i guess im trying to write to myself whilst also realising that other people read so its kinda weird.
also i dont mean that i am trying to teach anyone here, or that i am trying to help with my words (i know that it helps me to write here, and i enjoy hearing what other have to say, as serloco mentioned communication is enjoyable, for sure), i know that whoever you are out there dont really need my help, i am talking about teaching as a job in the tonal. i know that this is what i want to do, and im looking forward to getting started.
haha billy, thank you for the kind words. i feel like saying that i am enjoying your indlugence post, you have a way with words - you amaze me. and i wanted to mention number 5 was very interesting to me. i will write as spirit moves me, and i dont feel like jumping in right now, im looking forward to hearing more tho. thank you for posting here, fwiw it helps and inspires me.
i know that i am confident now, i am making some beautiful changes in my world. my life wasnt so great before, and without serloco's help i dont know what id be doing now - thank you serloco for showing me Spirit. i did some recap recently as i was sitting in this same room around a year ago, and just the thought of comparison between the states was enough to jolt me. i realised that all that has changed is awareness, that the energy body does not change at all. i had the idea of transferring my awareness to my energy body a while ago and the more that i tried to work with this idea, the more illusive it got. i mean that somewhere along the line, definitely within the last year, i have connected my awareness to my energy body, this is the way that i explain how i have managed to do some of the things that i have done. i draw energy from God (or the unknown), i see what i need to do and i dont feel as confused or unable to act as i used to, this confidence is just the ability to act, to direct my awareness, to be aware, or to penetrate the Soul of the World (from the alchemist), it is the path of heart.
its funny that all that i really feel is helping others. i dont know how or why. it is why i made steps to become a teacher, and also why i got scared when i found out that in that state back then, i definitely wasnt in a position to help.
i made a good friend on the teaching course, one of our teachers, and he was exceptional with me. he embodies the teacher archetype, and is compassionate, but also ruthless. i remember the day he 'broke' me (as i insist on describing this event to myself, it was definitely necessary at the time), in the canteen after a particularly bad observation. he was so calm, and controlled, and asked me questions that just left me unable to speak. i didnt answer. i knew the answers, and this was what he was doing. i obviously was raging, simultaneously calm. i knew that he was right, and so my angry thoughts meant nothing and i couldnt give them any power, also that he seemed angry with me, yet i realised that this was because he was trying to help me and i was just acting like an ****. it has been a long time since that day and only recently i have turned myself round to the point where i would be at ease teaching, and i know that id be able to do it perfectly. i know that on the day that i start teaching i will be scared, for sure, yet i know that i will be fine. i know that i didnt miss this boat, the boat waited for me. i wasnt ready and there was no way that reality would allow me to teach until i was. its the idea of impeccability that takes over and i cannot act otherwise, or at least i have to be impeccable - some times i know that i am not.
throughout this post i know that ally is helping me, yet i dont really speak of it as this is obvious to me. i guess im trying to write to myself whilst also realising that other people read so its kinda weird.
also i dont mean that i am trying to teach anyone here, or that i am trying to help with my words (i know that it helps me to write here, and i enjoy hearing what other have to say, as serloco mentioned communication is enjoyable, for sure), i know that whoever you are out there dont really need my help, i am talking about teaching as a job in the tonal. i know that this is what i want to do, and im looking forward to getting started.