2nd Gate - what is the purpose and benefit of it?

[serloco]

I'm sad now. Very sad. I discontinued dreaming practices for over 6 months and secluded myself in myself in my apartment, rarely leaving into the city and not making social contact in the world. The people I intended to be normal again, like people, humans again. I had almost forgotten how they are. Today I was forced into the world again and saw many of my own creations every where I looked. Echos, reflections of my life seen through the crack and painted on the walls. I spoke with people again and I saw them. Fake people, actors, hiding. I prefer the ones who are honest about it, but many are not and hide. I can always see them though, and they always slip up too. Know things they shouldn't know unless they are seers, telepathic, or watchers. Most hide it though, and pretend. But like genero I always see them, and they are no longer real to me. As he said phantoms. I shook that percpetion away many times, and just entered into the seer world, like an iob world, or alternate human dimension. But I wanted to go home again, and it almost is home except for all the changes I have made to this world, and there are so many. So many things i have done to this world that i when i was younger would have never dreamed possible, yet more to come surely. But i gave up and wanted my parents, my family again, and the normal people I used to know. But they are not the same. Almost sometimes, I almost make it, but it SLIPS!!!! I see them again. I push it away and ignore it and in doing so can almost dismiss it without thought. But who am i really fooling? It can never be the same, and maybe that is good, because the world moves on. We wouldn;t be where we are now, all the advancements we have made, the progress, and the future is coming and I see it clearly, I have set it myself and it is great for us too. But this feeling I have, of being lost is almost too much to bear. I wander in the streets and they form around me from shadows, and the street signs reflect my thought in this very moment, forming in sync with my command and thought. The human world was solid, already formed, an entire earth they say. Its not like that for me any more, and I do not know if I can fdind it again. I thought I could, but I see them, and I see the world form around me. Its a twin position I am in. So many memories I have buried away and forgotten, some of them unretrievable even, because I knew that the alien perceptions of these beings was too much for my mind to bear, and I saw that i could never return to normality again if I remembered some of those things. And that is all I remember about those positions, the intent and command to remove my memory completely. Oh i remember many alien people and many things far out, but these things I knew i could not keep in my mind because it was too far. I can master memory but I cant seem to get those memories back and it bugs me too, because I want to know what I knew. Maybe later, but I knew then that i was so severely alienated that I knew i could not keep them and made the decision myself, and so maybe I should just leave it be.. I made this city, and many of them, and the people even tell me in the streets that they like my city and I say thank you. This was my norm for a long time, we would work together too in many ways. But I want home now. I want my mind to be kept to myself, and to not be seen by all the people around me everywhere, naked, wide open, exposed. I got used to it though, but i hid for awhile and forgot. Now I am naked and they see me again. "you let me slide and when they looking,
you let me hide.... You see right thru me... how do you do that"- Nicki Minaj.

Well that's my sharing time, my message in a bottle floating through space. I miss you humans, I miss you earth. I AM thankful for all we've learned, and will never let you go. I will always be able to see trees, earth, soil, plants, and sky. Moon, and sun. I love you. I just wish I could find normal people again too. I wonder if they were ever real, ever normal. When I look back through my recap I can see it different ways, from different points, and am afraid if I look too close I may find that it was never real at all.