11-10-2014, 12:00 AM
I use a thousand piece jigsaw, and I am a partical of dust from the cuttings in the box, and knowing absolutely nothing of one piece, let alone the composite when put together.
Perception what it is I still rant.
When I graduated from college forty years ago I met a mentor. He was an ex-Catholic seminarian who had solid insight into human neurosis and gestault philosophy. We were both interested in betting thoroughbred racehorses. He immediately nudged me out of my comfortable boundaries in every respect. Something in me told me learn everything I could from this man, and especially about making decisions.
Talk up travelling somewhere specific at a specific time with someone and watch as they get excited about doing it, but then later how there is always an appointment, a reason, an excuse why it can't happen.
He taught me that to grow one had to make choices and stand behind them no excuses.
He encouraged me on what I could do (not what I couldn't like most others tend to do). There was not any formal itinerary--teaching happened in real and appropriate time. This was a man who understood standing in the fire. He allowed me to be ready for when my time came to choose when in my own psychologial deathground situation.
No doubt growing can be painful, but the currency of learning is forever yours when you do. I failed to choose way too often probably, but applied what I could just as you are probably doing Littlepaw.
About fifteen years ago I got very lucky to engage closely another man of high awareness for about a year. I can only tell you that when I am learning profoundly I KNOW IT> I feel it permeate my being> and yet the counterbalance for me is making sure to keep my feet grounded in the mundane world or what here is called the tonal I guess. Taking care of your work, family, objective is huge to staying grounded, while yet eyeing the dreams, the possible impossibles-- what is yours.
The internet experience is weird. I knew at once that serloco was the one to nudge me out of my current boundaries. I consider him my third teacher. He is probably too abstract for where you are coming from right now. I almost have to laugh to deign that I write anything in the vein of being helpful to you, and I don't say that in false humbleness, but Like Gugeyewalker said--keep posting if bits resonate here.
Gugeyewalker seems to get the anomoly of learning, when in the infinite scope-- WHAT the f*** are you going to learn. I don't delude myself often, yet there is more to learn about 'enlightenment?/ LAUGH--LAUGH HEARTILY.
THIS IS THE LAST PIECE IN A MANUSCRIPT I WROTE-- Surely it will make you laugh.
miracle of watching myself putting myself together as energy
worthlessness- the weight of world/feeling/body has no value--in shame I mindfully condemn 'I am energy'--I hate being--I am ashamed that I AM > > >
(Z) *************************** last roll
...but energy as reason sees objectively that my energy cannot be negated. Worthlessness is like a slow moving form of fear, and merely another form of sexual energy. So reason, having learned detachment in other ways, realizes now that it can (almost) detach from energy in the slow moving form of itself; which is why zen mindfulness is practiced--to make motion of energy observable. However this reforming to near stillness is still a joke to me--REALLY, REALLY, because it is an endless cycled instability, because that's what energy does, WHAT I DO > change form. Though, SHAME TEACHES ME NOT TO RUSH (change is a given fact to reason now), and I am not in a hurry to get anywhere. I am not getting out of myself (energy) no how and no way. Why hurry? (hurry where?) BUT BECAUSE of energy's cycle, I necessarily get lost in concepts like worry, hurry, not rush, and fear FOREVER; I 'really' (not real) do want to get out in a hurry. My tool reason {FOR detachment} lets the false 'reality' of wanting to get out, be identified as the one word--FALSE. So now the Myth of Sisyphus state is laughable just like sadness can be. This fucking, failing futility brings joy > that is exactly worded the right way and without hyperbole--IF understood in the way of enlightenment. NEVERTHELESS, I talk about watching myself in a cognizance called awareness (with enlightenment et al)--AND I'm still lost, you SEE? SO, reason substitutes the conceptual FALSE with an empirical false in SHAME. SHAME becomes THE OBJECT to be detached from. At first, SHAME takes me to the lowest slowest (smiling) frequency of energy {similar to state of bose-einstein condesate in physics}. (Shame in this slow state of energy will be easily transformed to a conscious state of 'usually' faster nuclear fission). I SEE worthless self/SELF (my own energy) in clarity as simply an object to detach from. Then energy detaches from itself; ENERGY gets it how to (almost/or really) step outside of its own show. {In vernacular, energy gets loose of itself (not necessarily as a faster state), because energy as reason NOW has wisdom to know whatever state, right down to the manifestation of picking your own nose, makes no difference. Why be afraid of my isolation in a state of energy that is FOREVER, and forever fickle and indestructible? What is the difference that I change anything? {Do I get that this is the reality?} I don't create new energy. I don't (cannot) succeed in the true sense of the word > I can't become anything, because I already am energy. BUT STILL--I DO shame. Why? BECAUSE I WANT SOME FUCKING PEACE (that is WHY--I am laughing so fucking hard it hurts--laughing harder when I edit). I don't want anymore fearful cognitive dissonance. So I REALLY DO want to change energy. Hmm. ??? As Albert Einstein describes waves and particles, "We observe one and sometimes the other. We have two contradictory pictures of reality, neither of them fully describes the phenomena of light or of every elementary particle, BUT TOGETHER THEY DO." THAT concept applies here. Do you understand? THAT concept also applies to my engaging the world freely, and without acting on every desired fetish. Though I am authentic, it matters little what satori etc. either. You can do this because the principles are sound. Period.
I'm writing and thinking, writing and thinking. So how do I know my writing and thinking is true (to having peace)? I know by staying in reason. I know empirically--this is ALWAYS the best way to know anything.
Perception what it is I still rant.
When I graduated from college forty years ago I met a mentor. He was an ex-Catholic seminarian who had solid insight into human neurosis and gestault philosophy. We were both interested in betting thoroughbred racehorses. He immediately nudged me out of my comfortable boundaries in every respect. Something in me told me learn everything I could from this man, and especially about making decisions.
Talk up travelling somewhere specific at a specific time with someone and watch as they get excited about doing it, but then later how there is always an appointment, a reason, an excuse why it can't happen.
He taught me that to grow one had to make choices and stand behind them no excuses.
He encouraged me on what I could do (not what I couldn't like most others tend to do). There was not any formal itinerary--teaching happened in real and appropriate time. This was a man who understood standing in the fire. He allowed me to be ready for when my time came to choose when in my own psychologial deathground situation.
No doubt growing can be painful, but the currency of learning is forever yours when you do. I failed to choose way too often probably, but applied what I could just as you are probably doing Littlepaw.
About fifteen years ago I got very lucky to engage closely another man of high awareness for about a year. I can only tell you that when I am learning profoundly I KNOW IT> I feel it permeate my being> and yet the counterbalance for me is making sure to keep my feet grounded in the mundane world or what here is called the tonal I guess. Taking care of your work, family, objective is huge to staying grounded, while yet eyeing the dreams, the possible impossibles-- what is yours.
The internet experience is weird. I knew at once that serloco was the one to nudge me out of my current boundaries. I consider him my third teacher. He is probably too abstract for where you are coming from right now. I almost have to laugh to deign that I write anything in the vein of being helpful to you, and I don't say that in false humbleness, but Like Gugeyewalker said--keep posting if bits resonate here.
Gugeyewalker seems to get the anomoly of learning, when in the infinite scope-- WHAT the f*** are you going to learn. I don't delude myself often, yet there is more to learn about 'enlightenment?/ LAUGH--LAUGH HEARTILY.
THIS IS THE LAST PIECE IN A MANUSCRIPT I WROTE-- Surely it will make you laugh.
miracle of watching myself putting myself together as energy
worthlessness- the weight of world/feeling/body has no value--in shame I mindfully condemn 'I am energy'--I hate being--I am ashamed that I AM > > >
(Z) *************************** last roll
...but energy as reason sees objectively that my energy cannot be negated. Worthlessness is like a slow moving form of fear, and merely another form of sexual energy. So reason, having learned detachment in other ways, realizes now that it can (almost) detach from energy in the slow moving form of itself; which is why zen mindfulness is practiced--to make motion of energy observable. However this reforming to near stillness is still a joke to me--REALLY, REALLY, because it is an endless cycled instability, because that's what energy does, WHAT I DO > change form. Though, SHAME TEACHES ME NOT TO RUSH (change is a given fact to reason now), and I am not in a hurry to get anywhere. I am not getting out of myself (energy) no how and no way. Why hurry? (hurry where?) BUT BECAUSE of energy's cycle, I necessarily get lost in concepts like worry, hurry, not rush, and fear FOREVER; I 'really' (not real) do want to get out in a hurry. My tool reason {FOR detachment} lets the false 'reality' of wanting to get out, be identified as the one word--FALSE. So now the Myth of Sisyphus state is laughable just like sadness can be. This fucking, failing futility brings joy > that is exactly worded the right way and without hyperbole--IF understood in the way of enlightenment. NEVERTHELESS, I talk about watching myself in a cognizance called awareness (with enlightenment et al)--AND I'm still lost, you SEE? SO, reason substitutes the conceptual FALSE with an empirical false in SHAME. SHAME becomes THE OBJECT to be detached from. At first, SHAME takes me to the lowest slowest (smiling) frequency of energy {similar to state of bose-einstein condesate in physics}. (Shame in this slow state of energy will be easily transformed to a conscious state of 'usually' faster nuclear fission). I SEE worthless self/SELF (my own energy) in clarity as simply an object to detach from. Then energy detaches from itself; ENERGY gets it how to (almost/or really) step outside of its own show. {In vernacular, energy gets loose of itself (not necessarily as a faster state), because energy as reason NOW has wisdom to know whatever state, right down to the manifestation of picking your own nose, makes no difference. Why be afraid of my isolation in a state of energy that is FOREVER, and forever fickle and indestructible? What is the difference that I change anything? {Do I get that this is the reality?} I don't create new energy. I don't (cannot) succeed in the true sense of the word > I can't become anything, because I already am energy. BUT STILL--I DO shame. Why? BECAUSE I WANT SOME FUCKING PEACE (that is WHY--I am laughing so fucking hard it hurts--laughing harder when I edit). I don't want anymore fearful cognitive dissonance. So I REALLY DO want to change energy. Hmm. ??? As Albert Einstein describes waves and particles, "We observe one and sometimes the other. We have two contradictory pictures of reality, neither of them fully describes the phenomena of light or of every elementary particle, BUT TOGETHER THEY DO." THAT concept applies here. Do you understand? THAT concept also applies to my engaging the world freely, and without acting on every desired fetish. Though I am authentic, it matters little what satori etc. either. You can do this because the principles are sound. Period.
I'm writing and thinking, writing and thinking. So how do I know my writing and thinking is true (to having peace)? I know by staying in reason. I know empirically--this is ALWAYS the best way to know anything.