12-31-2011, 12:01 AM
The Voyager Conspiracy
Pre sleep was defined by my usual challenges making use of energy that went unclaimed during the day, battling the cold, stilling the mind and heart so sleep could descend. I found a new thing I had only felt and not understood. The cold I could let pulse, and by calling the names, or ideas, of beings and people I love, it could change. Some of them would take the cold and replace it with heat. Some would interject heat into the cold and it felt like magical tingling. Some of them could replace it with pure energy. Every time I felt a new wave of cold and darkness, I either enjoyed the exhilaration, like the frumpy mans shadows that moved across him seemed to make him more real from the not quite dream of yesterday, or I could let others take it or change it. Once this was done, I was left only with the energy that resulted through that process of transmutation. How to use it to close out the moments of another eternal day? Energy for family, clearly. Then I named those same people and beings who I love, and sent them a share that they could use. I dug a bit too deep some drank more deeply then others, and I felt cold again. But that cold could again be transmuted into more energy, although I didn’t want to get carried away bugging those entities like that. Before I could began to relax, the fan I use for white noise to help me sleep began giving strange sounds. So I turn on the light to mess with it see why I heard rattling. It stopped, but now I hear d a high pitched whine, from my bad ear. Like what a dog might here. It was like a beam, no a wave, and I was frantically, stomping around in my boxers, trying to find it. I must have looked like a beast trying to track a scent and I moved in jerky motions around my little room. Finally I looked at my light on the nightstand…I reached for it and the sound grew until it almost was disconcerting in its pitch, and the damn bulb burned out. Mystery solved fan noise had stopped too. I turned it off (so power wasn’t going into dead bulb incase it was a short, and thought mystery solved ill mess with it on the flip side. So I lay back down, and made just enough energy to fill my cup back up to be flush with the rim, and then sleep was the easy gentle slope of slowly being drawn down a slight incline. No need to force exhaustion or sickness to loose cohesion.
When I began to wake, I seemed disappointed. I did not remember any dreams, any stories, just snippets. But I thought, before I left dream plains completely, is that so? What snippets are here? A golf course. 2 men. Rain. A starship in space. I realized these fragments were like my tapping on my arm in my nap sleep to remember that deep music. Tap it! Tap those fragments on self! Remember…yes…yes….the dreams were still there. To much in fact. Sketch…sketch…just enough. Now rest from your efforts, allow yourself to wake. These are the stories that were in those snippets I took back with me.
The golf course. In the dream space, there isn’t always (never was) a golf course there. When I was 14, that space held a line of trees, and a flat grassy plain. I found it wandering hills, a small spot between a cemetery on a plateau on the flank of a larger plateau off a canyon that runs straight to a great mountain, slightly above the dream home town ive mentioned before. Here is was a public golf course now. It vaguely corresponds to real places I found wandering in waking life 8 years before that. One of my favorites. People were here with me, to see! Dreamers, at least three, one ive never seen before. Two of them probably know who they are lol. The third had a small stone symbol, clear enough it was probably , I think. A very intricate, mysterious weaving of patterns behind the conception of self. In this version, two men were hitting a ball, playing golf by themselves, not wanting us to get in the way. No matter, my focus was on brush in a gully that drained off the hill. I walked over the soggy ground to see the water flowing, over the grass, and into a runoff channel. I turned and smiled, I was seeing so much beauty, in the clouds, in the vistas. I asked one of the three, see? See? What did you see? Be my narrator! Be the voice, the eye that saw the beauty, make it alive! . Let me hear, no feel, no live, that vision, that art.
I think it was who spoke, whose words became the voice of the storyteller. I saw her as my cousin and her daughter, but the daughter I think was really my little nephew, come to see as he often does.
She said. “ Walked across the grass. It was full of water from the rain so at the edges the steps became little puddles. He went to the edge where the water gathered. A little stream had come where before it was dry. It wasn’t raining as much. He watched it gather and run over first grass, but then it found its channel. The sky was big and dark and from it fell lots of rain, but the rain was clearing. He avoided the golfers game and smiled at them, not mad at their wariness he would get in the way of their score. He watched the water fall past some rocks and a tight space, and then it fell in a little waterfall onto the dark pavement on the other side of the hill, and ran down the street to go into the desert”.
And that was the voice of that dream, the one it was given, not random scenes, but a living narrative, a world. Not how my narrator would do it, but so good nonetheless. Mine can be stuffy and pompous, the old British man reading the boring works of some boring author in the high-backed chair with a pipe. Lol. And in that dream, that became the voice of the moment, and the rocks, and trees, and bones were happy, that they were honored, and given life. and did not speak, but they were observing in thought. I was so happy, in the way only sharing and receiving the perception of beauty can make me. The passion, the…magic of being.
The next main part gave this telling its title. A Starship, A lone starship, far from home. Lost. I watched the exciting credits and heard the beautiful, sad yet triumphant and inspirational melody that came with the introduction. It wasn’t the same as the TV series, but it reminded me of it. True to artistic form, it opened with a quick burs t of action. The ship was diving, from whitespace back to real space (dream space). It was a red alert, and those lethal star trek power conduit panels were crackling in a few spots there was some battle damage. The captain was speaking to a hostile ship that had attacked them. Her hair was a bit messed up out of the tight bun lol. And she seemed old. Ill get back to that. “Lower your shield and surrender or be destroyed”. she had already given 2 warnings. This was the third. The enemy ship was like a large dark manta ray. It was the form of the thing that yesterday was Bombarding me in a dream DNS attack I had to destroy to get back to my body . Here it was again, that event, again. From that ship, that was trying to escape into a dark rift structure, but still firing weapons, a few small shuttles left. Some of the crew had heeded the warning, and left when given the chance. But not most. “Mr. Paris…Fire!” Photon torpedoes analogues, phasers, all sorts of awesome glowy firing. The enemy ship, and the mechanical organic rift it was trying to reenter exploded like a little nova. Mr. Kim, lock onto the survivors beam them to shuttle bay 2. Aye sir! Ahhh…I was Harry kim! Awesome. Not really but lol. And so the dream camera shows the survivors of the manta craft, beamed into the cargo bay. They are blue, and kind of insect like. And all identical sisters. And young. Kind alike Andorians but with more face tentacles. And they say, in one voice, To the security team that met them with weapons raised in caution but not quite, “We seek asylum”. queue commercial. Lol. < http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HNtfu_QurU >
“cheer up hairy, its not like you two had a fight” Said Mr. Paris, the trickster, said to me. We were sitting in our quarters. People were bunked up, because the ship was taking on more and more beings as it made its journey. Singles had to share quarters. “I know Tom, I just don’t know what to say to her”. Look on the bright side hairy, tom said with a wry grin, “whatever you say cant be worse then anything else you’ve already said!” thanks tom I said in a flat, annoyed voice. My friend had transferred to the vessel, and being like Harry Kim, I was real subplot anxious over it. Lol. I thought maybe id catch some shuteye…duty shift began in six hours. But the bunks were convoluted…jerry rigged, representative but not practical. doesn’t look ill be able to go to sleep and skip this one thought Mr. kim. Just my luck. At least my clarinet was here, and I played a song from my heart. Mr. Paris was tapping his leg, keeping the beat. “Not bad Harry, not bad at all”.
Myself and Mr. paris went to the mess hall to eat before we had to begin our shift. Energy was being rationed, due to so many people to support, so no replicated fillet minon for every meal. and there she was, ladling out food. My friend. I grabbed my tray and said “im not hungry” and turned to leave but Mr. paris grabbed my shoulder. “go on Harry, I don’t think she will bite. She not Ferenghi….is she? ” Very funny tom I said. Sigh. I got in line for the food. It looked pretty gross. Soy milk and sea weed stew. Bleh. Healthy to make it worse no doubt. Harry!?! Its me, Dax! My friend looked like the Pixie Dax that replaced the real one in Deep space nine. Had that vibe too lol. High Dax I said, kind of wary. Harry! I hoped you would be here, that’s why I and here I am! Its so good to see you. She gave me a big, warm hug stepped from a round the food line to do it. Harry froze then patted her back with his hands and said…its nice to see you too Dax. I could have sworn the whole room w s watching and had toms wry grin.
Dax, Harry and tom found a seat by the window of the mess hall. I seemed to want to stare out at the stars more then be in the conversation….kind of feeling awkward. “so Harry, said tom, tell me all about your days at Starfleet academy with dax here” We were roommates, and in astro physics for a fe…”
“Harry!, interjected my friend with a laugh, we were best friends Tom, he helped me get past “ I seem to remember you giving me a little support with “ I said, more cheerful and feeling less awkward now. Well, said tom, sound s like you two were practically Married he said looking like he would burst from the laughter. “that’s not funny Tom” I almost said in a whisper. My friend was laughing and squeezed my shoulder said….oh Harry…with laughter and love. She then pulled out her hollo camera and began showing tom all the pictures. Harry falling down trying to get into skis. Harry and Dax windsailing on the purple seas of Jaxnor prime on holiday. Tom always had a funny comment for each but for the sake of brevity…ill leave it at I felt a little awkward but also glad she had remembered and kept them all with her. J The new crew members, from the defeated ship came into the room. They looked confused but happy, and everyone was nice to them. They looked even more beautiful, in their alien way, in their new Starfleet uniforms. All 12 or so of them. And happy. Another crewman had taken over for dax, and was serving the soup…they looked at it like it was a wonder, and when they ate it their faces radiated joy. I guess if you’ve never eaten, even soy milk and seaweed stew is like ambrosia.
Yes captain? Janeway had called me to meet her in her ready room. My kim was nervous, what could he have done wrong now? At ease, Mr. Kim. Yes captain, I said. Please be seated. So I took a seat. I noticed in the Starfleet insignia over her desk, behind the field of stars was the cross I drew from yesterdays adventure. The silver cross. Subtle but emergent in the field of stars. I noted again how old the captain looked. But not old…like n the face. Great age shining through the form. Like the elders in many of my dreams, or the fates as I see them, the weavers of dreams and reality. The age isn’t a wearing down in the winds of time, its beauty and great power despite, or because of it. “Mr. kim, 3 days ago one of our long range probes found an opening into non energetic space. We were sent a message from that realm, an offer for negotiations.” I see captain I said” but I didn’t, why is she telling me this, im just a bridge ensign. “Mr. kim, they asked for you by name, for negotiations” long pause. “Me captain?” “yes you Mr. Kim. Infant we had a hard time deciphering the message at all…took thought it might refer to Mr. paris…I pointed out that he had all the musical talent of a targ in spawning season” She chuckled to herself and I laughed nervously. “Please Harry, this is important. If we can establish a diplomatic presence among these people, it will greatly alleviate our power supply issues, and bring us closer to our new place. The third lineage. Home. The captain turned to gaze wistfully at the image of the cross emergent in the star field. “yes captain I will do my best”. “I know you will Harry, I know you will” queue commercial break.
“I cant do it tom! I just cant!” I said frustrated. Tom and I were back in our quarters. I was sitting on the edge of my bunk, it was normal again that I had no thought of slinking off. “what do you mean you CANT do it Harry?, you re always saying you have more in you then just being ensign kim. It sin the music you play, maybe the captain is just giving you your chance to prove it to yourself. “No I mean I CANT do it tom…I cant find my Dress shoes!” this room is a mess! Your comic books are everywhere! Paris started laughing the deepest laughter I had ever heard, and came and sat down next to me. “Harry…” He took the shoes off his feet and said “here use mine”. I peered at it with the one eye I had open. “Not a chance tom. I know were your feet have walked” again more laughter. I looked at the shoes I had. My real life old black Nikes…one of the laces is fraying because I often forget to tie them. “If I hadn’t lost my replicator rations in our poker game….” “Harry, Harry…we both know you didn’t “loose” you rations, you gave them to the new crewmembers, from the defeated ship, so they could replicate musical instruments to learn how to play, not just take music. Stop worrying. They asked for you by name…I imagine that means frayed shoe laces and all” I sat for a minute digesting that. “this is Startrek…why aren’t I using Velcro…like the astronaughts on the moon I thought to myself. I didn’t say this, but Tom was laughing quietly all the same. His laugh was like the voice on the vortex. Full of power, and friendship, and love.
“this is the main transporter room, where we can move large numbers of personal between ship and destination.” Said Janeway. She was showing the new crewmembers, the beings from the manta ship, how the various parts of the voyager worked. She seemed to have full faith in their loyalty and goodness. And truth be told, they were more like children learning to be alive then the things that we saw operating that terror that sought to disrupt our journey, our great work. The captain continued demonstrating how things worked to the new friends. Some of them looked at me and smiled, shyly, and turned back to what the captain was demonstrating. “Harry…I think “they” like you” said tom. I didn’t respond to that but it was funny I felt less awkward.
“Harry, Tom, you are here” said the captain. “And only ten minutes late…” “I can explain captain said tom, stepping forward. Harry here had trouble deciding just what shoes to put on for such a momentous first contact situation” said tom with a grin. “I see” said Janeway, glancing at my black Nikes. “Air Jordan’s, 2003, missing the ankle straps…very nice Mr. kim” “yes captain” I said blushing. “see Harry” said tom nudging me. I heard the door open behind me. “Ah Dax, you have arrived, right on time!” I turned an even deeper shade of red. Mr. kim, dax will be accompanying you as you make contact with the inhabitants of that realm. Her familiarity with you and your connection will be an asset in your mission. “It was my idea Harry!” said dax, coming up and standing besides me, putting her hand on my shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “If everyone is ready“, said janeway, “places people. The inorganics moved s one to a far wall observing. Paris, Dax and I stood behind the captain looking towards the transporter platform. “Energize!” said the captain. The inorganics operated the controls as they were shown how to do. The ambassador from the non energetic realm came through. A familiar face. Queue commercial break.
“Andrew! Err, or is it Mr. kim? Said the ambassador. I had a bit of a lump in my thought I had to swallow down. It was a figure wearing the memory of my old boss. From when I was a manager at Target. I hated that job. Bleck. “and…err…Mr. kim…err senear I see you are looking well!” “thank you ma’m, as are you” I said. “Oh Sen, you always were SUCH a charmer she said laughing” She was as she was in my mind, a 50 year old blonde lady with large hair that drove a pickup truck despite being fancy. I liked her, she was my mentor in the training program, but she was also fickle and if she got the idea in her mind you messed up or weren’t working out, that was that no changing that perception. The performance reviews…shudder. Lol.
“I see you brought your friend…Kath…”Dax mam, I am Dax” she said with a laugh. “Very well, Dax then she laughed, I really love this whole Startrek theme…I prefer Walker Texas ranger myself self she said with a wink. “My name is captain Katherine Janeway, Of the United Federation of Planets the starship Voyager. (lineages/realities/dream spaces). On Behalf of my ship and her crew, we bid you welcome.”
“thank you captain for responding to our message” said my old boss. “It was our pleasure” said janeway. She pointed to the Starfleet insignia on her formal coat, at the image of the cross again. “It is our mission, to find those who are coming, making, dreaming the new reality, the new world, and finding our way to it.”
“Nothing at all, no burden at all” said my old boss, with a wave of her hand. “Now that formalities are dispensed with, let us simply get to it shall we…Andrew, “Dax” are you ready?” she said. “Yes mam”. we replied In unison. Captain janeway came and rested her hand on my shoulder. “It will be ok Harry, you have your music, and your friends. It will be ok. “yes mam, I know” I said. And I did. The three of us, my friend “dax”, myself, and the ambassador from my past all stepped onto the transporter platform. “Energize“ said janeway. As I faded into the streams of time now formed as a transporter, I saw my friend, the trickster Mr. Paris, giving me a big grin and a thumbs up. Queue commercial break.
We arrived in my past. 2000 or so. We went around that old job site in riverside, ca. I face d many things, old regrets, joys, tensions. The feeling of not fitting in, not being in the right place. The ambassador, my old boss, led me around. My friend, dax, they had commentary one ach thing, they helped me release each one. And like the cold and sickness in me, as I did before sleep the last few days, these bits and pieces became energy. Energy, for the ship, energy, for the journey. Energy freed, stories released, from my heart and mind. And we had fun. We went to the mission in, the space where the dream “Pretty sparkle fairy” took place. We released some of that, and we enjoyed the gardens and had lunch, paid with some of the freed energy. No soy milk stew here! I savored my bit of baklava, and the roast leg of lamb and the current wine I ordered. So delicious! We even went into the dream, the scary scary non dream to me, where the Sorcerer and his party entered my space after I s hared that dream with him, and they were violating it. We watched as my guardian sent them back through a portal that was hard for them, as lesson. And he smiled at me again Tom? I saw him, the one who that man said he thought was just a myth. The man that yesterday was guarding and guiding my emanations of self from the subbasement. My friend. The man of light with shivers of shadows that sounded like laughter. Finally we were done. With all the released energy, we negotiated a physical space there, an apartment for the crew. A conduit for the energy. And my shoes fit right in! and then we were done. Dax spoke into the communicator. “captain three for transport”. and we were back in the transporter room. I was beaming like the device. It wasn’t a task I could fail, it was one however, that only I, with help could do. Harry kim smiled from ear to ear.
“An…Harry it was so good to see you again, thank you” the ambassador said to me. I was overwhelmed with emotion, and sank to the transporter room floor. Cry laughing. The captain, tom Paris, my friend the dax, even the inorganic people all gathered around smiling. Beaming with me. My family. My friends. My love. I don’t know how long I sat like that, waves of released energy going where they willed. I felt…the ship respond. My friends respond. The beings respond. All of that, now animating the great work, the great journey. Power problems solved for a time. And a fair bit, the lions share of that energy found its home inside me once again. “you did good work, Mr. Kim” said the captain, and I looked up, my tears drying and only left with a smile. “good work indeed said Mr. paris”. “I think you might have enjoyed it TOO much said the ambassador” huh? I looked around everyone was still smiling. “those Starfleet uniforms are SOO form revealing…Mr. Kim she said with a laugh. I had grown hard little nipples through them, and you know…good thing I was kneeling on the floor and did not have to walk around…everyone knows Starfleet ensigns do not have phasors in their pockets….they wear them in stylish little belts. I began to turn beat red. “Harry… said dax, with a quiet laughter in her voice, as she messed with my hair, looking out the window not at my embarrassment. “what exactly did you release? Asked tom, his eyes alight with laughter. “shut up tom! I said with a laugh. Thankfully the captain had not witnessed it all, but I heard her chuckle too. “Good work, Mr. kim” she said as she left the room with the new crew people. They w ere all excited and whispering amongst themselves. The ambassador left to follow the captain, but turned back and winked at me with one last wry smile.
“See Harry, I told you your shoes would be fine!” said tom. Yea, you did I responded. Are you ready yet Harry? What is it now…let me guess you forgot your lucky tricorder?” asked tom playfully. “No im ready tom, let go”. We were back in our dorm like room, and I w as again sitting on my bed getting ready. “Harry, are you sure you want to wear those shoes? Asked tom…I had put my old beat up sneakers back on. “There is plenty of power for a new pair…here, let me replicate you some wingtips…”. “NO tom! I said with a laugh…these old shoes will do just fine.
This time we walked to a new part of the ship. A wall of rotating mirrors that were energy…beyond them We saw…Starfleet! San Francisco from a future, more energetic, radiant world. I turned to ask tom as we stood before the gateway. “what happened to Dax?” “Oh…so now we like dreaming with dax do we, Mr. im not hungry?” he asked with a laugh. I felt myself turn kind of red again. “Relax Harry, the whole world cant be up all night and sleep all day. Its almost 10am…our friend had to do things…like wake up.” We both laughed at this because it is true I am a crack of noon kinda guy. “Are you ready Harry?” he asks me,, and we step through the rotating mirror doors. there is a strange mechanical computer voice s we do. Calluct Noor…Calluct Dadoor. Calluct Neda. The gateways said as we stepped through. And we were through.
The city was so alive, the flying cars, the warm sun from the sky. The flowers like…everything emanated light, and also it sown shadow as feelings, colors, music. So beautiful. And yet not overwhelming. Still constructed as any one fresh off the street would accept it. Just…more so, with a hint of magic, and more, to those that could see and hear it. The golden gate bridge, Starfleet academy where so many diligent people learned and did their tasks for the great work of making this be real. The federation senate building, from which now I could see beings like the ones from the scary ship walking and talking with humans and others, as they lived the dream that was making itself be born.
Seeing me getting lost in the moment, tom nudged my elbow…”this way hairy, the admirals are w waiting…wouldn’t want to be late to you own ceremony…again” Same laughing voiced tom. Many interesting scenes as we made our way to the admirals offices. I saw me nephew dreaming with me again. He was in a garden with his teacher and a few other small children. He was being given awards for being a good student, but then he began crying when he didn’t get the toy he wanted it went to another student, so the teacher withdrew the bestowing of his citizenship certificate. How he cried. The teacher just watched. Tom and I walked up to him, and I picked him up and hugged him dried his tears. “Its ok, I said, so you didn’t get that one after all…you still got one for math and spelling” “Besides, said tom, look on the bright side…that’s one more award you can work on for getting next time!” I think it was more the tone then the words, that cheered him up, he stopped his brat tantrum and returned to his teacher with a laugh. The teacher saluted us as we walked by. “See Harry, said tom, being just ensign kim isn’t so bad after all”.
Another scene was another ancient and powerful but also young admiral giving a child who asked a large wad of energy credit bills, because the child asked and he was happy to share. “See Harry, sometimes all you need to do is not be afraid to ask” said tom. I was lost in thought as we continued on our way.
The ceremony in Admiral cherlaluchaowas office was a small but solemn affair. Captain Jainway was there, one of the blue beings, the first time I had seen it not with her sisters, Many of my friends as well. Sadly Dax was not. tom reminded me to record the event because she might like to watch it latter, as might others. “sure tom sure ill remember it probably” He just chuckled. I stood straight at attention and saluted to the admiral. He began speaking. “ensign kim, for your efforts in restoring the power loss of the USS Voyager, and for establishing contact with a new member world, and for your diligent efforts in establishing an accord between the various parties in eternal conflict, We hereby award you with the silver cross. The symbol of an intersection, the space where reality is constructed. Wear it with pride Mr. Kim, you have earned it. “thank you sir” I said, as he pinned the silver cross on my chest. The same cross the man yesterday explained to me that I sketched. The ceremony over, I was congratulated in turn by everyone there. After some time mingling, Tom turned to me and said “I don’t know about you Harry, but I can go for some beer and maybe a few rounds of pool…care to wager say your replicator credits…the beer is on me, naturally” I laughed because I know toms tricks…”the beer is free tom, and my aim with the pool queue is expensive” “Well Harry, don’t ever say your old friend tom Paris never offered to show you the town….Hello ladies…” he had turned to the blue being to hustle her into a game. Poor person…well soon to be poorer some credits hehe. “No tom I think ill explore the headquarters on my own some more” “that’s fine Harry…just be careful…there are some rooms that aren’t open for an ensign…even an ensign who bears the silver cross…his voice trailed off, but on his smile I saw the tricksters laugh.
So I began wandering, going places that seemed interesting. Beautiful places, inspiring visions on monitors, asking questions of the computer voice as I went. Love the old star trek computer voice…Rodenberry’s wife who died. Finally, found a deep place, a secret place, I wasn’t sure I should have. Seven women, seven sisters, each identical, like but not like the sisters from the ship we took in after destroying it, those who heard the captains voice, were monitoring it. But they were merged on the far side of the screen from me, I was behind them in space. So I had no trouble passing them and entering the medical bay research lab they were the operators of. I saw machines. New machines, each laid out on a table for study. I felt they were connected to the blue sisters, things that they knew how to make. I looked carefully t one of them, it evoked the memory, of the video that sprang out when I was re living the iron man dream to find videos for posting. A Machine that took data, read data, and created life…biological life from data energy. The mRNA clip. For some reason I gasped, and backed out of that place. I stopped when I was half past the sisters on the other side of the screens. I felt if I just left they would know and I might end up in the captains office again, this time not for a mission but for chastisement. So I spoke to the third sister. “excuse me ma’m, I seem to be lost, can you tell me the way back outside?” she gasped and my perspective shifted from seeing her in a screen, to being in front of her in the mirror image of that research space. She looked confused, how did he get here without us noticing, but she simply told me the way out and I thanked her, and I left the admirals complex.
I was back on the voyager, sitting once again on the edge of my bunk with tom. “Well Harry we had quite the time today didn’t we” he said with a smile. “Yea tom we certainly did” I said with a smile. I was feeling tired, like I might lay down soon in the next hour or two. “too bad you didn’t take me up on the game of pool he said with a flash of smile. He displayed all the energy credits he had won off of the blue sisters. He saw my look at that. “Don’t worry Harry, tomorrow ill challenge them to a game of spatial recognition, and let them win them all back, give the full gambling experience…losing and winning” he laughed. “Besides, if I tried to keep them the captain would have me scrubbing the hull with a sonic toothbrush for a month” he laughed. After a few more moments, he said “so you never did tell me what you found in the depths of the admirals offices” he said very sly. I started stuttering trying to reply. “relax Harry, relax. Here why don’t you play it and handed me my clarinet. “play it in song”. I asked if maybe we should invite some friends to listen. “Its ok Harry, they will here the music, friends always here the music.” he said wistfully. I knew what he meant. The blue sisters that left their evil kin to join us. The children at Starfleet headquarters. The dreamers coming and going creating the great work that makes that other world, that other arrangement be, in due time. “Just play Harry” so I did. I played it all, the dream, my friends, my loss and joy, my adventures and dreams, and I faded from the dream, into the notes. As I did so, I had a memory, or an insight…about tom paris, my friend, the figure in the scary portal dream with the enemy from real life invading. The frumpy man guarding my emanations into reality. I knew his name. then I woke. J
Pre sleep was defined by my usual challenges making use of energy that went unclaimed during the day, battling the cold, stilling the mind and heart so sleep could descend. I found a new thing I had only felt and not understood. The cold I could let pulse, and by calling the names, or ideas, of beings and people I love, it could change. Some of them would take the cold and replace it with heat. Some would interject heat into the cold and it felt like magical tingling. Some of them could replace it with pure energy. Every time I felt a new wave of cold and darkness, I either enjoyed the exhilaration, like the frumpy mans shadows that moved across him seemed to make him more real from the not quite dream of yesterday, or I could let others take it or change it. Once this was done, I was left only with the energy that resulted through that process of transmutation. How to use it to close out the moments of another eternal day? Energy for family, clearly. Then I named those same people and beings who I love, and sent them a share that they could use. I dug a bit too deep some drank more deeply then others, and I felt cold again. But that cold could again be transmuted into more energy, although I didn’t want to get carried away bugging those entities like that. Before I could began to relax, the fan I use for white noise to help me sleep began giving strange sounds. So I turn on the light to mess with it see why I heard rattling. It stopped, but now I hear d a high pitched whine, from my bad ear. Like what a dog might here. It was like a beam, no a wave, and I was frantically, stomping around in my boxers, trying to find it. I must have looked like a beast trying to track a scent and I moved in jerky motions around my little room. Finally I looked at my light on the nightstand…I reached for it and the sound grew until it almost was disconcerting in its pitch, and the damn bulb burned out. Mystery solved fan noise had stopped too. I turned it off (so power wasn’t going into dead bulb incase it was a short, and thought mystery solved ill mess with it on the flip side. So I lay back down, and made just enough energy to fill my cup back up to be flush with the rim, and then sleep was the easy gentle slope of slowly being drawn down a slight incline. No need to force exhaustion or sickness to loose cohesion.
When I began to wake, I seemed disappointed. I did not remember any dreams, any stories, just snippets. But I thought, before I left dream plains completely, is that so? What snippets are here? A golf course. 2 men. Rain. A starship in space. I realized these fragments were like my tapping on my arm in my nap sleep to remember that deep music. Tap it! Tap those fragments on self! Remember…yes…yes….the dreams were still there. To much in fact. Sketch…sketch…just enough. Now rest from your efforts, allow yourself to wake. These are the stories that were in those snippets I took back with me.
The golf course. In the dream space, there isn’t always (never was) a golf course there. When I was 14, that space held a line of trees, and a flat grassy plain. I found it wandering hills, a small spot between a cemetery on a plateau on the flank of a larger plateau off a canyon that runs straight to a great mountain, slightly above the dream home town ive mentioned before. Here is was a public golf course now. It vaguely corresponds to real places I found wandering in waking life 8 years before that. One of my favorites. People were here with me, to see! Dreamers, at least three, one ive never seen before. Two of them probably know who they are lol. The third had a small stone symbol, clear enough it was probably , I think. A very intricate, mysterious weaving of patterns behind the conception of self. In this version, two men were hitting a ball, playing golf by themselves, not wanting us to get in the way. No matter, my focus was on brush in a gully that drained off the hill. I walked over the soggy ground to see the water flowing, over the grass, and into a runoff channel. I turned and smiled, I was seeing so much beauty, in the clouds, in the vistas. I asked one of the three, see? See? What did you see? Be my narrator! Be the voice, the eye that saw the beauty, make it alive! . Let me hear, no feel, no live, that vision, that art.
I think it was who spoke, whose words became the voice of the storyteller. I saw her as my cousin and her daughter, but the daughter I think was really my little nephew, come to see as he often does.
She said. “ Walked across the grass. It was full of water from the rain so at the edges the steps became little puddles. He went to the edge where the water gathered. A little stream had come where before it was dry. It wasn’t raining as much. He watched it gather and run over first grass, but then it found its channel. The sky was big and dark and from it fell lots of rain, but the rain was clearing. He avoided the golfers game and smiled at them, not mad at their wariness he would get in the way of their score. He watched the water fall past some rocks and a tight space, and then it fell in a little waterfall onto the dark pavement on the other side of the hill, and ran down the street to go into the desert”.
And that was the voice of that dream, the one it was given, not random scenes, but a living narrative, a world. Not how my narrator would do it, but so good nonetheless. Mine can be stuffy and pompous, the old British man reading the boring works of some boring author in the high-backed chair with a pipe. Lol. And in that dream, that became the voice of the moment, and the rocks, and trees, and bones were happy, that they were honored, and given life. and did not speak, but they were observing in thought. I was so happy, in the way only sharing and receiving the perception of beauty can make me. The passion, the…magic of being.
The next main part gave this telling its title. A Starship, A lone starship, far from home. Lost. I watched the exciting credits and heard the beautiful, sad yet triumphant and inspirational melody that came with the introduction. It wasn’t the same as the TV series, but it reminded me of it. True to artistic form, it opened with a quick burs t of action. The ship was diving, from whitespace back to real space (dream space). It was a red alert, and those lethal star trek power conduit panels were crackling in a few spots there was some battle damage. The captain was speaking to a hostile ship that had attacked them. Her hair was a bit messed up out of the tight bun lol. And she seemed old. Ill get back to that. “Lower your shield and surrender or be destroyed”. she had already given 2 warnings. This was the third. The enemy ship was like a large dark manta ray. It was the form of the thing that yesterday was Bombarding me in a dream DNS attack I had to destroy to get back to my body . Here it was again, that event, again. From that ship, that was trying to escape into a dark rift structure, but still firing weapons, a few small shuttles left. Some of the crew had heeded the warning, and left when given the chance. But not most. “Mr. Paris…Fire!” Photon torpedoes analogues, phasers, all sorts of awesome glowy firing. The enemy ship, and the mechanical organic rift it was trying to reenter exploded like a little nova. Mr. Kim, lock onto the survivors beam them to shuttle bay 2. Aye sir! Ahhh…I was Harry kim! Awesome. Not really but lol. And so the dream camera shows the survivors of the manta craft, beamed into the cargo bay. They are blue, and kind of insect like. And all identical sisters. And young. Kind alike Andorians but with more face tentacles. And they say, in one voice, To the security team that met them with weapons raised in caution but not quite, “We seek asylum”. queue commercial. Lol. < http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HNtfu_QurU >
“cheer up hairy, its not like you two had a fight” Said Mr. Paris, the trickster, said to me. We were sitting in our quarters. People were bunked up, because the ship was taking on more and more beings as it made its journey. Singles had to share quarters. “I know Tom, I just don’t know what to say to her”. Look on the bright side hairy, tom said with a wry grin, “whatever you say cant be worse then anything else you’ve already said!” thanks tom I said in a flat, annoyed voice. My friend had transferred to the vessel, and being like Harry Kim, I was real subplot anxious over it. Lol. I thought maybe id catch some shuteye…duty shift began in six hours. But the bunks were convoluted…jerry rigged, representative but not practical. doesn’t look ill be able to go to sleep and skip this one thought Mr. kim. Just my luck. At least my clarinet was here, and I played a song from my heart. Mr. Paris was tapping his leg, keeping the beat. “Not bad Harry, not bad at all”.
Myself and Mr. paris went to the mess hall to eat before we had to begin our shift. Energy was being rationed, due to so many people to support, so no replicated fillet minon for every meal. and there she was, ladling out food. My friend. I grabbed my tray and said “im not hungry” and turned to leave but Mr. paris grabbed my shoulder. “go on Harry, I don’t think she will bite. She not Ferenghi….is she? ” Very funny tom I said. Sigh. I got in line for the food. It looked pretty gross. Soy milk and sea weed stew. Bleh. Healthy to make it worse no doubt. Harry!?! Its me, Dax! My friend looked like the Pixie Dax that replaced the real one in Deep space nine. Had that vibe too lol. High Dax I said, kind of wary. Harry! I hoped you would be here, that’s why I and here I am! Its so good to see you. She gave me a big, warm hug stepped from a round the food line to do it. Harry froze then patted her back with his hands and said…its nice to see you too Dax. I could have sworn the whole room w s watching and had toms wry grin.
Dax, Harry and tom found a seat by the window of the mess hall. I seemed to want to stare out at the stars more then be in the conversation….kind of feeling awkward. “so Harry, said tom, tell me all about your days at Starfleet academy with dax here” We were roommates, and in astro physics for a fe…”
“Harry!, interjected my friend with a laugh, we were best friends Tom, he helped me get past “ I seem to remember you giving me a little support with “ I said, more cheerful and feeling less awkward now. Well, said tom, sound s like you two were practically Married he said looking like he would burst from the laughter. “that’s not funny Tom” I almost said in a whisper. My friend was laughing and squeezed my shoulder said….oh Harry…with laughter and love. She then pulled out her hollo camera and began showing tom all the pictures. Harry falling down trying to get into skis. Harry and Dax windsailing on the purple seas of Jaxnor prime on holiday. Tom always had a funny comment for each but for the sake of brevity…ill leave it at I felt a little awkward but also glad she had remembered and kept them all with her. J The new crew members, from the defeated ship came into the room. They looked confused but happy, and everyone was nice to them. They looked even more beautiful, in their alien way, in their new Starfleet uniforms. All 12 or so of them. And happy. Another crewman had taken over for dax, and was serving the soup…they looked at it like it was a wonder, and when they ate it their faces radiated joy. I guess if you’ve never eaten, even soy milk and seaweed stew is like ambrosia.
Yes captain? Janeway had called me to meet her in her ready room. My kim was nervous, what could he have done wrong now? At ease, Mr. Kim. Yes captain, I said. Please be seated. So I took a seat. I noticed in the Starfleet insignia over her desk, behind the field of stars was the cross I drew from yesterdays adventure. The silver cross. Subtle but emergent in the field of stars. I noted again how old the captain looked. But not old…like n the face. Great age shining through the form. Like the elders in many of my dreams, or the fates as I see them, the weavers of dreams and reality. The age isn’t a wearing down in the winds of time, its beauty and great power despite, or because of it. “Mr. kim, 3 days ago one of our long range probes found an opening into non energetic space. We were sent a message from that realm, an offer for negotiations.” I see captain I said” but I didn’t, why is she telling me this, im just a bridge ensign. “Mr. kim, they asked for you by name, for negotiations” long pause. “Me captain?” “yes you Mr. Kim. Infant we had a hard time deciphering the message at all…took thought it might refer to Mr. paris…I pointed out that he had all the musical talent of a targ in spawning season” She chuckled to herself and I laughed nervously. “Please Harry, this is important. If we can establish a diplomatic presence among these people, it will greatly alleviate our power supply issues, and bring us closer to our new place. The third lineage. Home. The captain turned to gaze wistfully at the image of the cross emergent in the star field. “yes captain I will do my best”. “I know you will Harry, I know you will” queue commercial break.
“I cant do it tom! I just cant!” I said frustrated. Tom and I were back in our quarters. I was sitting on the edge of my bunk, it was normal again that I had no thought of slinking off. “what do you mean you CANT do it Harry?, you re always saying you have more in you then just being ensign kim. It sin the music you play, maybe the captain is just giving you your chance to prove it to yourself. “No I mean I CANT do it tom…I cant find my Dress shoes!” this room is a mess! Your comic books are everywhere! Paris started laughing the deepest laughter I had ever heard, and came and sat down next to me. “Harry…” He took the shoes off his feet and said “here use mine”. I peered at it with the one eye I had open. “Not a chance tom. I know were your feet have walked” again more laughter. I looked at the shoes I had. My real life old black Nikes…one of the laces is fraying because I often forget to tie them. “If I hadn’t lost my replicator rations in our poker game….” “Harry, Harry…we both know you didn’t “loose” you rations, you gave them to the new crewmembers, from the defeated ship, so they could replicate musical instruments to learn how to play, not just take music. Stop worrying. They asked for you by name…I imagine that means frayed shoe laces and all” I sat for a minute digesting that. “this is Startrek…why aren’t I using Velcro…like the astronaughts on the moon I thought to myself. I didn’t say this, but Tom was laughing quietly all the same. His laugh was like the voice on the vortex. Full of power, and friendship, and love.
“this is the main transporter room, where we can move large numbers of personal between ship and destination.” Said Janeway. She was showing the new crewmembers, the beings from the manta ship, how the various parts of the voyager worked. She seemed to have full faith in their loyalty and goodness. And truth be told, they were more like children learning to be alive then the things that we saw operating that terror that sought to disrupt our journey, our great work. The captain continued demonstrating how things worked to the new friends. Some of them looked at me and smiled, shyly, and turned back to what the captain was demonstrating. “Harry…I think “they” like you” said tom. I didn’t respond to that but it was funny I felt less awkward.
“Harry, Tom, you are here” said the captain. “And only ten minutes late…” “I can explain captain said tom, stepping forward. Harry here had trouble deciding just what shoes to put on for such a momentous first contact situation” said tom with a grin. “I see” said Janeway, glancing at my black Nikes. “Air Jordan’s, 2003, missing the ankle straps…very nice Mr. kim” “yes captain” I said blushing. “see Harry” said tom nudging me. I heard the door open behind me. “Ah Dax, you have arrived, right on time!” I turned an even deeper shade of red. Mr. kim, dax will be accompanying you as you make contact with the inhabitants of that realm. Her familiarity with you and your connection will be an asset in your mission. “It was my idea Harry!” said dax, coming up and standing besides me, putting her hand on my shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “If everyone is ready“, said janeway, “places people. The inorganics moved s one to a far wall observing. Paris, Dax and I stood behind the captain looking towards the transporter platform. “Energize!” said the captain. The inorganics operated the controls as they were shown how to do. The ambassador from the non energetic realm came through. A familiar face. Queue commercial break.
“Andrew! Err, or is it Mr. kim? Said the ambassador. I had a bit of a lump in my thought I had to swallow down. It was a figure wearing the memory of my old boss. From when I was a manager at Target. I hated that job. Bleck. “and…err…Mr. kim…err senear I see you are looking well!” “thank you ma’m, as are you” I said. “Oh Sen, you always were SUCH a charmer she said laughing” She was as she was in my mind, a 50 year old blonde lady with large hair that drove a pickup truck despite being fancy. I liked her, she was my mentor in the training program, but she was also fickle and if she got the idea in her mind you messed up or weren’t working out, that was that no changing that perception. The performance reviews…shudder. Lol.
“I see you brought your friend…Kath…”Dax mam, I am Dax” she said with a laugh. “Very well, Dax then she laughed, I really love this whole Startrek theme…I prefer Walker Texas ranger myself self she said with a wink. “My name is captain Katherine Janeway, Of the United Federation of Planets the starship Voyager. (lineages/realities/dream spaces). On Behalf of my ship and her crew, we bid you welcome.”
“thank you captain for responding to our message” said my old boss. “It was our pleasure” said janeway. She pointed to the Starfleet insignia on her formal coat, at the image of the cross again. “It is our mission, to find those who are coming, making, dreaming the new reality, the new world, and finding our way to it.”
“Nothing at all, no burden at all” said my old boss, with a wave of her hand. “Now that formalities are dispensed with, let us simply get to it shall we…Andrew, “Dax” are you ready?” she said. “Yes mam”. we replied In unison. Captain janeway came and rested her hand on my shoulder. “It will be ok Harry, you have your music, and your friends. It will be ok. “yes mam, I know” I said. And I did. The three of us, my friend “dax”, myself, and the ambassador from my past all stepped onto the transporter platform. “Energize“ said janeway. As I faded into the streams of time now formed as a transporter, I saw my friend, the trickster Mr. Paris, giving me a big grin and a thumbs up. Queue commercial break.
We arrived in my past. 2000 or so. We went around that old job site in riverside, ca. I face d many things, old regrets, joys, tensions. The feeling of not fitting in, not being in the right place. The ambassador, my old boss, led me around. My friend, dax, they had commentary one ach thing, they helped me release each one. And like the cold and sickness in me, as I did before sleep the last few days, these bits and pieces became energy. Energy, for the ship, energy, for the journey. Energy freed, stories released, from my heart and mind. And we had fun. We went to the mission in, the space where the dream “Pretty sparkle fairy” took place. We released some of that, and we enjoyed the gardens and had lunch, paid with some of the freed energy. No soy milk stew here! I savored my bit of baklava, and the roast leg of lamb and the current wine I ordered. So delicious! We even went into the dream, the scary scary non dream to me, where the Sorcerer and his party entered my space after I s hared that dream with him, and they were violating it. We watched as my guardian sent them back through a portal that was hard for them, as lesson. And he smiled at me again Tom? I saw him, the one who that man said he thought was just a myth. The man that yesterday was guarding and guiding my emanations of self from the subbasement. My friend. The man of light with shivers of shadows that sounded like laughter. Finally we were done. With all the released energy, we negotiated a physical space there, an apartment for the crew. A conduit for the energy. And my shoes fit right in! and then we were done. Dax spoke into the communicator. “captain three for transport”. and we were back in the transporter room. I was beaming like the device. It wasn’t a task I could fail, it was one however, that only I, with help could do. Harry kim smiled from ear to ear.
“An…Harry it was so good to see you again, thank you” the ambassador said to me. I was overwhelmed with emotion, and sank to the transporter room floor. Cry laughing. The captain, tom Paris, my friend the dax, even the inorganic people all gathered around smiling. Beaming with me. My family. My friends. My love. I don’t know how long I sat like that, waves of released energy going where they willed. I felt…the ship respond. My friends respond. The beings respond. All of that, now animating the great work, the great journey. Power problems solved for a time. And a fair bit, the lions share of that energy found its home inside me once again. “you did good work, Mr. Kim” said the captain, and I looked up, my tears drying and only left with a smile. “good work indeed said Mr. paris”. “I think you might have enjoyed it TOO much said the ambassador” huh? I looked around everyone was still smiling. “those Starfleet uniforms are SOO form revealing…Mr. Kim she said with a laugh. I had grown hard little nipples through them, and you know…good thing I was kneeling on the floor and did not have to walk around…everyone knows Starfleet ensigns do not have phasors in their pockets….they wear them in stylish little belts. I began to turn beat red. “Harry… said dax, with a quiet laughter in her voice, as she messed with my hair, looking out the window not at my embarrassment. “what exactly did you release? Asked tom, his eyes alight with laughter. “shut up tom! I said with a laugh. Thankfully the captain had not witnessed it all, but I heard her chuckle too. “Good work, Mr. kim” she said as she left the room with the new crew people. They w ere all excited and whispering amongst themselves. The ambassador left to follow the captain, but turned back and winked at me with one last wry smile.
“See Harry, I told you your shoes would be fine!” said tom. Yea, you did I responded. Are you ready yet Harry? What is it now…let me guess you forgot your lucky tricorder?” asked tom playfully. “No im ready tom, let go”. We were back in our dorm like room, and I w as again sitting on my bed getting ready. “Harry, are you sure you want to wear those shoes? Asked tom…I had put my old beat up sneakers back on. “There is plenty of power for a new pair…here, let me replicate you some wingtips…”. “NO tom! I said with a laugh…these old shoes will do just fine.
This time we walked to a new part of the ship. A wall of rotating mirrors that were energy…beyond them We saw…Starfleet! San Francisco from a future, more energetic, radiant world. I turned to ask tom as we stood before the gateway. “what happened to Dax?” “Oh…so now we like dreaming with dax do we, Mr. im not hungry?” he asked with a laugh. I felt myself turn kind of red again. “Relax Harry, the whole world cant be up all night and sleep all day. Its almost 10am…our friend had to do things…like wake up.” We both laughed at this because it is true I am a crack of noon kinda guy. “Are you ready Harry?” he asks me,, and we step through the rotating mirror doors. there is a strange mechanical computer voice s we do. Calluct Noor…Calluct Dadoor. Calluct Neda. The gateways said as we stepped through. And we were through.
The city was so alive, the flying cars, the warm sun from the sky. The flowers like…everything emanated light, and also it sown shadow as feelings, colors, music. So beautiful. And yet not overwhelming. Still constructed as any one fresh off the street would accept it. Just…more so, with a hint of magic, and more, to those that could see and hear it. The golden gate bridge, Starfleet academy where so many diligent people learned and did their tasks for the great work of making this be real. The federation senate building, from which now I could see beings like the ones from the scary ship walking and talking with humans and others, as they lived the dream that was making itself be born.
Seeing me getting lost in the moment, tom nudged my elbow…”this way hairy, the admirals are w waiting…wouldn’t want to be late to you own ceremony…again” Same laughing voiced tom. Many interesting scenes as we made our way to the admirals offices. I saw me nephew dreaming with me again. He was in a garden with his teacher and a few other small children. He was being given awards for being a good student, but then he began crying when he didn’t get the toy he wanted it went to another student, so the teacher withdrew the bestowing of his citizenship certificate. How he cried. The teacher just watched. Tom and I walked up to him, and I picked him up and hugged him dried his tears. “Its ok, I said, so you didn’t get that one after all…you still got one for math and spelling” “Besides, said tom, look on the bright side…that’s one more award you can work on for getting next time!” I think it was more the tone then the words, that cheered him up, he stopped his brat tantrum and returned to his teacher with a laugh. The teacher saluted us as we walked by. “See Harry, said tom, being just ensign kim isn’t so bad after all”.
Another scene was another ancient and powerful but also young admiral giving a child who asked a large wad of energy credit bills, because the child asked and he was happy to share. “See Harry, sometimes all you need to do is not be afraid to ask” said tom. I was lost in thought as we continued on our way.
The ceremony in Admiral cherlaluchaowas office was a small but solemn affair. Captain Jainway was there, one of the blue beings, the first time I had seen it not with her sisters, Many of my friends as well. Sadly Dax was not. tom reminded me to record the event because she might like to watch it latter, as might others. “sure tom sure ill remember it probably” He just chuckled. I stood straight at attention and saluted to the admiral. He began speaking. “ensign kim, for your efforts in restoring the power loss of the USS Voyager, and for establishing contact with a new member world, and for your diligent efforts in establishing an accord between the various parties in eternal conflict, We hereby award you with the silver cross. The symbol of an intersection, the space where reality is constructed. Wear it with pride Mr. Kim, you have earned it. “thank you sir” I said, as he pinned the silver cross on my chest. The same cross the man yesterday explained to me that I sketched. The ceremony over, I was congratulated in turn by everyone there. After some time mingling, Tom turned to me and said “I don’t know about you Harry, but I can go for some beer and maybe a few rounds of pool…care to wager say your replicator credits…the beer is on me, naturally” I laughed because I know toms tricks…”the beer is free tom, and my aim with the pool queue is expensive” “Well Harry, don’t ever say your old friend tom Paris never offered to show you the town….Hello ladies…” he had turned to the blue being to hustle her into a game. Poor person…well soon to be poorer some credits hehe. “No tom I think ill explore the headquarters on my own some more” “that’s fine Harry…just be careful…there are some rooms that aren’t open for an ensign…even an ensign who bears the silver cross…his voice trailed off, but on his smile I saw the tricksters laugh.
So I began wandering, going places that seemed interesting. Beautiful places, inspiring visions on monitors, asking questions of the computer voice as I went. Love the old star trek computer voice…Rodenberry’s wife who died. Finally, found a deep place, a secret place, I wasn’t sure I should have. Seven women, seven sisters, each identical, like but not like the sisters from the ship we took in after destroying it, those who heard the captains voice, were monitoring it. But they were merged on the far side of the screen from me, I was behind them in space. So I had no trouble passing them and entering the medical bay research lab they were the operators of. I saw machines. New machines, each laid out on a table for study. I felt they were connected to the blue sisters, things that they knew how to make. I looked carefully t one of them, it evoked the memory, of the video that sprang out when I was re living the iron man dream to find videos for posting. A Machine that took data, read data, and created life…biological life from data energy. The mRNA clip. For some reason I gasped, and backed out of that place. I stopped when I was half past the sisters on the other side of the screens. I felt if I just left they would know and I might end up in the captains office again, this time not for a mission but for chastisement. So I spoke to the third sister. “excuse me ma’m, I seem to be lost, can you tell me the way back outside?” she gasped and my perspective shifted from seeing her in a screen, to being in front of her in the mirror image of that research space. She looked confused, how did he get here without us noticing, but she simply told me the way out and I thanked her, and I left the admirals complex.
I was back on the voyager, sitting once again on the edge of my bunk with tom. “Well Harry we had quite the time today didn’t we” he said with a smile. “Yea tom we certainly did” I said with a smile. I was feeling tired, like I might lay down soon in the next hour or two. “too bad you didn’t take me up on the game of pool he said with a flash of smile. He displayed all the energy credits he had won off of the blue sisters. He saw my look at that. “Don’t worry Harry, tomorrow ill challenge them to a game of spatial recognition, and let them win them all back, give the full gambling experience…losing and winning” he laughed. “Besides, if I tried to keep them the captain would have me scrubbing the hull with a sonic toothbrush for a month” he laughed. After a few more moments, he said “so you never did tell me what you found in the depths of the admirals offices” he said very sly. I started stuttering trying to reply. “relax Harry, relax. Here why don’t you play it and handed me my clarinet. “play it in song”. I asked if maybe we should invite some friends to listen. “Its ok Harry, they will here the music, friends always here the music.” he said wistfully. I knew what he meant. The blue sisters that left their evil kin to join us. The children at Starfleet headquarters. The dreamers coming and going creating the great work that makes that other world, that other arrangement be, in due time. “Just play Harry” so I did. I played it all, the dream, my friends, my loss and joy, my adventures and dreams, and I faded from the dream, into the notes. As I did so, I had a memory, or an insight…about tom paris, my friend, the figure in the scary portal dream with the enemy from real life invading. The frumpy man guarding my emanations into reality. I knew his name. then I woke. J