08-23-2012, 12:01 AM
8/11-12/12
Leviathan
Bad Bad Company till the day I die
Until the day I die
Until the day I die
Rebel souls
Deserters we've been called
Chose a gun
And threw away the sun
Now these towns they all know our names
The death punch sound is our claim to fame
I pushed myself yesterday, past exhaustion to supra lucidity that comes past it. Thats a nice way of saying it. I just refused to shuffle off to sleep. So I ended up being absolutely blank, arms hurting, the aches and pains of exhaustion, not doing much of anything. Finally, enough was enough (I had only slept three or four hours the day before) and I let myself rest. In that exhaustion, all sorts of things, with no cap of mind or will, energy, sorta bubbled around. Old things, new things, foreign to me things. Could almost touch them somehow. I did my normal intent, but without a lot of energy. I did fixate on the steps or gates. Look at hands, find beings, etc. Just remember the hands, mumbled that few times, before I finally fell asleep.
Transition to sleep was chaotic, im sure i fell right asleep, but my awareness was unsettled by pushing myself beyond the capacity for internal generation, and being completely sensitive to outside things. Others dreams, thoughts, energy. It shard to explain. Something like a stormy sea, with no pressure (to smooth waves) neot smooth it, and no real perception beyond the sensation. Each wave was another thought energy thing. I felt pressed upon by something, below my normal notice. Like bullying, or rather unwanted attention of a creepy sort from somewhere.
Maybe related tot he Chinese figure I don’t know, is just reference. On one side of my wave, I was stable (I was like a wave liquid crystal like the larger sea. On one side i was more stable, because somebody was accessing me, or speaking to me, so that side smoothed in response. On that side, I thought i was talking to ( ), and I saw a replay in some ways of the dream with the ( ) dance, broken ( ), etc. The thing bothering her seemed similar to the waves, so it felt like I tried to bridge something. It wasn’t real specific...again, im a random fluxing sheet in this sea, in dimensions, but the spot where another sees me becomes stable from the external awareness looking in. like a photograph, or mirror. The photo becomes more fixed when it is seen by awareness. It sorta refereed back to “photo fixer dream” Power of the mind, like over subatomic particles. Accept on my particles/self. This was the state I put myself into on purpose to see something below the threshold.
After this part, I sorta turned inside out., or maybe right side in, and was “in dreaming” What I remembered, was I felt vulnerable. I found a house, a small house, looked like it was modular, or mobile, its foundation was a traveling trailer. But there was a garden and trees and concrete walkway to it. I came, and say in the yard, still reforming “self”. It was night. It reminded me of the “hunter” dream house for the quality of the feeling of the night. I thought I saw ( ) moving around inside and in the yard, and ( ). I knew ( ) because we talked, but my attention was on the ground. Gems. Cut diamonds with light, rubies, emeralds, here and there, by an anthill, in a crack of the pavement. I knew I had shed them, something had, and now I was gathering them up. People like such things, so thats what I did. Eventually I followed the trail into the house. And sat on the floor. I spent much time just looking at them in my hands. I also recalled, as a side note in the dream, my intent to look at my hands, so that was done as part of the plot I thought. And the next part of that sequence of gates im sure I thought. Such wonderful glowing gems. I think ( )? Helped me some with it, but I might have been a bit greedy, got to get them all. I thought I could make tons of neat dream jeweler from it, or ( ) could, or trade them for something. They reminded me of the stones in my dream pendant, but artfully cut. So not greedy, but I was looking for something specific in it...one of them, rest were just pretty to me.
So time goes on, I not paying attention to all the action, and there is allot, around me, like people coming and going. Finally, when ive found all the stones, a wall of rock materialized, rough stone. With streaks of minerals, gold and silver, copper maybe. Veins. And crystal. Familiar. I see little holes, veins of minerals, in the rock. Stones came from this like blood I see, or grew. I find...a crystal. Purple and silver, a regular crystal shape...but ( )? Comes to show me it hollow, crushes it, its hollow like a geode. Egg, awareness, type of being, long extinct. I run my finger son the powder, and taste it, breath it to remember, feel the being. And then...something interesting. It felt like the dream I just had, when the clock all the numerals changed to 13. So real, power, magic. A small form emerged from the stone matrix. It swam. It looked like a small larva, like a squid, but half the size of my pinky fingernail. It was small but stood out. I was hazy, out of phase. I ignored the dream reality round it, like it swam through things in a sea. So small. I moved my hand to cup it, and it swam right through my hand. The pain was indescribable. Like a shivering, burning. It never even saw my hand, it just felt “heat” and swam to it. I watched blood move from the small hole...it was like a lazor cut, small, through my hand.
I simply smoothed some skin, form over the hole and it seemed fine to me, but I shivered, almost in ecstasy it wasn’t lie pain...heat, cold, its hard to articulate, the sensation.
I knew this was a larva, stuck in the rock wall. Or maybe born from when I breathed the energetic powder, shards, of its ancient crystal shell. Egg, prison, not sure. Something shred so much information. Also, ( )? Was speaking. Was a Leviathan. Ancient, before even inorganic time, when was nothing but awareness, before, the proto sea, no land or sky. A larva. They were made extinct, destroyed, gods wrestled them in heavens and divided the land from the sea? Stuff like that. But energy, not stories. It could also be a ship. Was a ship for awareness. Leviathan. Full size, like a great whale, that ignored EVERYTHING, moved through it, dissolved it. Powerful and dangerous. He said this one is imprinted. New born. To keep it, he moved “bags of cool water” in energy around it, like a cage. And spoke to it. Like training. It would not be good for it to keep going away from dream, something would smash it when it was small. Or wouldn’t, and it would grow big. Now this was fascinating. This little inorganic being. Like a sea monkey in a tank. Dream dissolved some. Something. The veins in the rock, the vein of crystal from that being burning in my right hand. It was travel time, we traveled.
This would be too much to write. Five worlds. So ill be brief, and break it down somewhat as I did in my notes.
World 1. The ship, the baby ship. Amazing. It was a world inside of the larva. In it, travelling, linked to it, even so small, a worm/squid, burrows unhindered, through everything. So aware and alive, like a god. Much communication and understanding, knowledge shared. Understood, much, about myself even thats a good change. When it phased through my hand it left much, linked, imprinted. Merge. Like a ship of mind, connected. Amazing. Cant really describe being In it, or it being in me/us.
World 2. I called this one “tight borders world” Everything looked understandable, the forms called themselves human even, although they were not. Like the dream I had I called iron-man, of the creation of such a world. This one was cut off. Nothing come sin and out. A woman, a authority, was grilling me on where i came from, no identification. I watched flying cars, ships in the sky. Somewhat warlike place. I said I was from outside. She was, thought my God. There is an outside, we are “stuck” at the “bottom” loop. Another being didn’t care, he was going to “probe” and flay my mind regardless, to see where on THIS world I came from. I saw another being that was done too. If we are popcorn seeds, this man had been popped, inside out, soft, decaying. No good. We/I get away. To a “spaceport” Many wonderful people, ( ) people here, I see ( ) and even ( ) and ( ) in a throng of warriors. Sent to stop us? Ahh maneuvered to cross paths. The female authority was not as hostile. There is a fight, but of course our friends are our friends, a few come with us to the next part. the hard part is not hurting anyone heh. People had living energy clothes here, like kung foo monks. Very nice to see. Some stayed in the “sealed borders world” Some I didnt recognize had to be fought. Didn’t want to burrow out hard, or leave friends.
World 3. Mystery world. Film noir quality. Police investigating murder. Ask me for help. I try to explain investigative process. The lead detective gets excited. He shows me a boardgames called a word I just used. On it, is a picture of me in a old detective outfit, like film noir. They only know of investigating what I demonstrated...i had been here before. Spend time training the officers. We find the killer. It is a long sequence, reminded me of the movie “the Maltese falcon”. But was eagle not falcon. And his that Ishtar crown/star...the stolen object murders were around. “Heres looking at you kid” and “we will always have Paris” The hard boiled investigators, who didn’t really know how to investigate, love those touches, write them into the playbook. Ice whistles. We sit in a circle, in a sepia room, and I make whistles from ice by my heart, and play music. Magic music. Show them how to to. This is the best part before we leave. ( ) and ( ) are playing really well, make their own whistles I don’t have to like for the investigators.
World 4. World 4 was like a version of this world, but with no war, no nations. A big neighborhood, village. I saw the dream university, I talk about so much, is in this world, where there is no DISTANCE like between people, houses, places...ie, no borders. I name it ( )'s world, ( ), world, because it reminds me of the state ( ) intends her awareness. Maybe because the college is there i don’t know, but its more then that. There is less difference between spiritual dimension and physical dimension of things here, but its still like earth, this world, familiar. We play whistles/flutes again, music, walk in woods, in a group. ( ) stays here. We find a large poster board, that has tasks on it. Like a list. Glue covered with glitter. Light pink? Heh its for ( ). Its like steps for an entire life, a life plan, that she worked on with friends, spirits ( ). He needs to stay in this world to do it. Also I see some of ( ) stuff on it. So they both stay for now in that world. I think she will come when finishes study list. Or we can come back have to finish this (traveling).
World 5. I seem to be alone. People are sitting, quiet, and there aren’t many of them. My cat I healed, shes here. People cough, animals, and then...they split, their flesh melts like it putrid rotten fruit, and the insides come out like blood a sloshing out and dead. No warning. Plaque, death, moment of death world. I steady myself. I prepare to leave, but not like them, spilling blood and disease. I pack deliberately from this world, and go farther. But this was the last world, moment of death, dying, aging and splitting in seconds, that I can recall as such. Packing involved drawing energy on flat clear sheets and stacking them overlapping building a1d, 2,d 3,d then 4,d in time map like over everything did it in moments. In those moments, I thought about stuff, saw. My hand was full of crystals that shine with light of awareness, thought frequencies, where the larval Leviathan being burrowed. Like illuminating eye that it depended what I shine though self it matches. The cat I healed. I felt her last breath, her ribs were sticking out, but she refused to die. Then I did warmth, healing, then she breathed again, and made it to vet. It was this event that reminded me in a way who i was, i had decided that such memories from childhood were imagination in retrospect up until then. And survived a week before she dared operate for infection, and she lived from that, impossible, well the vet pushed procedure. Shes since lost her license for doing such hings. Bu that was the tonal link. Was energy. Im in the cat, I know, her thoughts, what she sees sometimes. When she dies, it will be a stroke soon, shes 20 years old now, will I be pulled with her? Will I fold into her dying? Or will she fold into me? Or will it be an open link, like Atlantis night dream, me there and here, like shes there and here now? Didn’t matter. I packed and chose to move on from that moment of death place.
I woke, wrote so many notes, barely had been asleep an hour and a half. Was like 5:45 am. Went right back to sleep. Beyond recall. Accept the end. I had come back, like picking it up. To World 4. I found the people that stayed, they were OLD...so old ( ), ( ), others. This part of the dreaming was even longer then the part I just wrote. But thankfully, it was in sensations and images,understanding, raw, not a story. Many sections. People collaboratively building, testing, crafting. I think to avoid world 5 and that gate. It ended up, when it became images with some narrative to them, the construction of a great rocket. It referenced the dream I had with the engine testing last month, etc. Putting it all together, orderly and logically. Finally it was time. It was time to launch, we were in the things we built of course, and the lady from world 2, the non hostile controller, from the “sealed in world” was announcing. Made scenes, in a way, we are sealed din here, locked into the worlds default AP too. She came with us when we left I remembered. Countdown. 10, 9....1! Nothing. Fizzle. I was watching this part with ( ). It was half memory too, because i remember when they launched the cots 2 spacex mission that went to the station earlier this summer, she noticed me logged in at an odd hour asked why I was poking around, so I explained a bit, an watched....and that first attempt was aborted...big flash of dumped fuel and nothing. Lol.
So I “took” the whole rocket down and yea, it was a timing issue. Another rocket team would launch in meantime, but rather then set up that one, we started building an improved version. This part of dreaming FELT exactly like it did when I first went to sleep...its hard to explain, how odd that was for me. Like litteraly coming back to an early state exactly. We didn’t try to launch into the beyond this way again in my dream. It was more happy to do it this way, skip world five, not have to be “bad company
until the day I die” Better to launch from world 4. Everyone was there, all the individual tasks in awareness done. Was no hurry, and it was fun to build and dream of the stars beyond the sky. Fin.
Leviathan
Bad Bad Company till the day I die
Until the day I die
Until the day I die
Rebel souls
Deserters we've been called
Chose a gun
And threw away the sun
Now these towns they all know our names
The death punch sound is our claim to fame
I pushed myself yesterday, past exhaustion to supra lucidity that comes past it. Thats a nice way of saying it. I just refused to shuffle off to sleep. So I ended up being absolutely blank, arms hurting, the aches and pains of exhaustion, not doing much of anything. Finally, enough was enough (I had only slept three or four hours the day before) and I let myself rest. In that exhaustion, all sorts of things, with no cap of mind or will, energy, sorta bubbled around. Old things, new things, foreign to me things. Could almost touch them somehow. I did my normal intent, but without a lot of energy. I did fixate on the steps or gates. Look at hands, find beings, etc. Just remember the hands, mumbled that few times, before I finally fell asleep.
Transition to sleep was chaotic, im sure i fell right asleep, but my awareness was unsettled by pushing myself beyond the capacity for internal generation, and being completely sensitive to outside things. Others dreams, thoughts, energy. It shard to explain. Something like a stormy sea, with no pressure (to smooth waves) neot smooth it, and no real perception beyond the sensation. Each wave was another thought energy thing. I felt pressed upon by something, below my normal notice. Like bullying, or rather unwanted attention of a creepy sort from somewhere.
Maybe related tot he Chinese figure I don’t know, is just reference. On one side of my wave, I was stable (I was like a wave liquid crystal like the larger sea. On one side i was more stable, because somebody was accessing me, or speaking to me, so that side smoothed in response. On that side, I thought i was talking to ( ), and I saw a replay in some ways of the dream with the ( ) dance, broken ( ), etc. The thing bothering her seemed similar to the waves, so it felt like I tried to bridge something. It wasn’t real specific...again, im a random fluxing sheet in this sea, in dimensions, but the spot where another sees me becomes stable from the external awareness looking in. like a photograph, or mirror. The photo becomes more fixed when it is seen by awareness. It sorta refereed back to “photo fixer dream” Power of the mind, like over subatomic particles. Accept on my particles/self. This was the state I put myself into on purpose to see something below the threshold.
After this part, I sorta turned inside out., or maybe right side in, and was “in dreaming” What I remembered, was I felt vulnerable. I found a house, a small house, looked like it was modular, or mobile, its foundation was a traveling trailer. But there was a garden and trees and concrete walkway to it. I came, and say in the yard, still reforming “self”. It was night. It reminded me of the “hunter” dream house for the quality of the feeling of the night. I thought I saw ( ) moving around inside and in the yard, and ( ). I knew ( ) because we talked, but my attention was on the ground. Gems. Cut diamonds with light, rubies, emeralds, here and there, by an anthill, in a crack of the pavement. I knew I had shed them, something had, and now I was gathering them up. People like such things, so thats what I did. Eventually I followed the trail into the house. And sat on the floor. I spent much time just looking at them in my hands. I also recalled, as a side note in the dream, my intent to look at my hands, so that was done as part of the plot I thought. And the next part of that sequence of gates im sure I thought. Such wonderful glowing gems. I think ( )? Helped me some with it, but I might have been a bit greedy, got to get them all. I thought I could make tons of neat dream jeweler from it, or ( ) could, or trade them for something. They reminded me of the stones in my dream pendant, but artfully cut. So not greedy, but I was looking for something specific in it...one of them, rest were just pretty to me.
So time goes on, I not paying attention to all the action, and there is allot, around me, like people coming and going. Finally, when ive found all the stones, a wall of rock materialized, rough stone. With streaks of minerals, gold and silver, copper maybe. Veins. And crystal. Familiar. I see little holes, veins of minerals, in the rock. Stones came from this like blood I see, or grew. I find...a crystal. Purple and silver, a regular crystal shape...but ( )? Comes to show me it hollow, crushes it, its hollow like a geode. Egg, awareness, type of being, long extinct. I run my finger son the powder, and taste it, breath it to remember, feel the being. And then...something interesting. It felt like the dream I just had, when the clock all the numerals changed to 13. So real, power, magic. A small form emerged from the stone matrix. It swam. It looked like a small larva, like a squid, but half the size of my pinky fingernail. It was small but stood out. I was hazy, out of phase. I ignored the dream reality round it, like it swam through things in a sea. So small. I moved my hand to cup it, and it swam right through my hand. The pain was indescribable. Like a shivering, burning. It never even saw my hand, it just felt “heat” and swam to it. I watched blood move from the small hole...it was like a lazor cut, small, through my hand.
I simply smoothed some skin, form over the hole and it seemed fine to me, but I shivered, almost in ecstasy it wasn’t lie pain...heat, cold, its hard to articulate, the sensation.
I knew this was a larva, stuck in the rock wall. Or maybe born from when I breathed the energetic powder, shards, of its ancient crystal shell. Egg, prison, not sure. Something shred so much information. Also, ( )? Was speaking. Was a Leviathan. Ancient, before even inorganic time, when was nothing but awareness, before, the proto sea, no land or sky. A larva. They were made extinct, destroyed, gods wrestled them in heavens and divided the land from the sea? Stuff like that. But energy, not stories. It could also be a ship. Was a ship for awareness. Leviathan. Full size, like a great whale, that ignored EVERYTHING, moved through it, dissolved it. Powerful and dangerous. He said this one is imprinted. New born. To keep it, he moved “bags of cool water” in energy around it, like a cage. And spoke to it. Like training. It would not be good for it to keep going away from dream, something would smash it when it was small. Or wouldn’t, and it would grow big. Now this was fascinating. This little inorganic being. Like a sea monkey in a tank. Dream dissolved some. Something. The veins in the rock, the vein of crystal from that being burning in my right hand. It was travel time, we traveled.
This would be too much to write. Five worlds. So ill be brief, and break it down somewhat as I did in my notes.
World 1. The ship, the baby ship. Amazing. It was a world inside of the larva. In it, travelling, linked to it, even so small, a worm/squid, burrows unhindered, through everything. So aware and alive, like a god. Much communication and understanding, knowledge shared. Understood, much, about myself even thats a good change. When it phased through my hand it left much, linked, imprinted. Merge. Like a ship of mind, connected. Amazing. Cant really describe being In it, or it being in me/us.
World 2. I called this one “tight borders world” Everything looked understandable, the forms called themselves human even, although they were not. Like the dream I had I called iron-man, of the creation of such a world. This one was cut off. Nothing come sin and out. A woman, a authority, was grilling me on where i came from, no identification. I watched flying cars, ships in the sky. Somewhat warlike place. I said I was from outside. She was, thought my God. There is an outside, we are “stuck” at the “bottom” loop. Another being didn’t care, he was going to “probe” and flay my mind regardless, to see where on THIS world I came from. I saw another being that was done too. If we are popcorn seeds, this man had been popped, inside out, soft, decaying. No good. We/I get away. To a “spaceport” Many wonderful people, ( ) people here, I see ( ) and even ( ) and ( ) in a throng of warriors. Sent to stop us? Ahh maneuvered to cross paths. The female authority was not as hostile. There is a fight, but of course our friends are our friends, a few come with us to the next part. the hard part is not hurting anyone heh. People had living energy clothes here, like kung foo monks. Very nice to see. Some stayed in the “sealed borders world” Some I didnt recognize had to be fought. Didn’t want to burrow out hard, or leave friends.
World 3. Mystery world. Film noir quality. Police investigating murder. Ask me for help. I try to explain investigative process. The lead detective gets excited. He shows me a boardgames called a word I just used. On it, is a picture of me in a old detective outfit, like film noir. They only know of investigating what I demonstrated...i had been here before. Spend time training the officers. We find the killer. It is a long sequence, reminded me of the movie “the Maltese falcon”. But was eagle not falcon. And his that Ishtar crown/star...the stolen object murders were around. “Heres looking at you kid” and “we will always have Paris” The hard boiled investigators, who didn’t really know how to investigate, love those touches, write them into the playbook. Ice whistles. We sit in a circle, in a sepia room, and I make whistles from ice by my heart, and play music. Magic music. Show them how to to. This is the best part before we leave. ( ) and ( ) are playing really well, make their own whistles I don’t have to like for the investigators.
World 4. World 4 was like a version of this world, but with no war, no nations. A big neighborhood, village. I saw the dream university, I talk about so much, is in this world, where there is no DISTANCE like between people, houses, places...ie, no borders. I name it ( )'s world, ( ), world, because it reminds me of the state ( ) intends her awareness. Maybe because the college is there i don’t know, but its more then that. There is less difference between spiritual dimension and physical dimension of things here, but its still like earth, this world, familiar. We play whistles/flutes again, music, walk in woods, in a group. ( ) stays here. We find a large poster board, that has tasks on it. Like a list. Glue covered with glitter. Light pink? Heh its for ( ). Its like steps for an entire life, a life plan, that she worked on with friends, spirits ( ). He needs to stay in this world to do it. Also I see some of ( ) stuff on it. So they both stay for now in that world. I think she will come when finishes study list. Or we can come back have to finish this (traveling).
World 5. I seem to be alone. People are sitting, quiet, and there aren’t many of them. My cat I healed, shes here. People cough, animals, and then...they split, their flesh melts like it putrid rotten fruit, and the insides come out like blood a sloshing out and dead. No warning. Plaque, death, moment of death world. I steady myself. I prepare to leave, but not like them, spilling blood and disease. I pack deliberately from this world, and go farther. But this was the last world, moment of death, dying, aging and splitting in seconds, that I can recall as such. Packing involved drawing energy on flat clear sheets and stacking them overlapping building a1d, 2,d 3,d then 4,d in time map like over everything did it in moments. In those moments, I thought about stuff, saw. My hand was full of crystals that shine with light of awareness, thought frequencies, where the larval Leviathan being burrowed. Like illuminating eye that it depended what I shine though self it matches. The cat I healed. I felt her last breath, her ribs were sticking out, but she refused to die. Then I did warmth, healing, then she breathed again, and made it to vet. It was this event that reminded me in a way who i was, i had decided that such memories from childhood were imagination in retrospect up until then. And survived a week before she dared operate for infection, and she lived from that, impossible, well the vet pushed procedure. Shes since lost her license for doing such hings. Bu that was the tonal link. Was energy. Im in the cat, I know, her thoughts, what she sees sometimes. When she dies, it will be a stroke soon, shes 20 years old now, will I be pulled with her? Will I fold into her dying? Or will she fold into me? Or will it be an open link, like Atlantis night dream, me there and here, like shes there and here now? Didn’t matter. I packed and chose to move on from that moment of death place.
I woke, wrote so many notes, barely had been asleep an hour and a half. Was like 5:45 am. Went right back to sleep. Beyond recall. Accept the end. I had come back, like picking it up. To World 4. I found the people that stayed, they were OLD...so old ( ), ( ), others. This part of the dreaming was even longer then the part I just wrote. But thankfully, it was in sensations and images,understanding, raw, not a story. Many sections. People collaboratively building, testing, crafting. I think to avoid world 5 and that gate. It ended up, when it became images with some narrative to them, the construction of a great rocket. It referenced the dream I had with the engine testing last month, etc. Putting it all together, orderly and logically. Finally it was time. It was time to launch, we were in the things we built of course, and the lady from world 2, the non hostile controller, from the “sealed in world” was announcing. Made scenes, in a way, we are sealed din here, locked into the worlds default AP too. She came with us when we left I remembered. Countdown. 10, 9....1! Nothing. Fizzle. I was watching this part with ( ). It was half memory too, because i remember when they launched the cots 2 spacex mission that went to the station earlier this summer, she noticed me logged in at an odd hour asked why I was poking around, so I explained a bit, an watched....and that first attempt was aborted...big flash of dumped fuel and nothing. Lol.
So I “took” the whole rocket down and yea, it was a timing issue. Another rocket team would launch in meantime, but rather then set up that one, we started building an improved version. This part of dreaming FELT exactly like it did when I first went to sleep...its hard to explain, how odd that was for me. Like litteraly coming back to an early state exactly. We didn’t try to launch into the beyond this way again in my dream. It was more happy to do it this way, skip world five, not have to be “bad company
until the day I die” Better to launch from world 4. Everyone was there, all the individual tasks in awareness done. Was no hurry, and it was fun to build and dream of the stars beyond the sky. Fin.