10-15-2009, 12:00 AM
The self appearing task of "killing animals" which has been done by so many people here, still, has helped many of them feel the barrier of pity. If
to work with this barrier you can reach the "non-pity" space. I've not really killed anybody meditating - all this "burning" is done in
Revision. But the feeling is like after the burning books meditation. This is the breaking useless ties feeling. - * - * - Such meditation technique makes me
feel familiar feelings close to Revision ones and breaking the feeling of self importance which often appears in fears and pity. Breaking it you get fragments
which then you "delete from the program". It's important not to miss them. Mosquito seems to have bigger importance than an elephant. Tender body
of a kitten makes people feel more pity than an old body of a street cat. Close people seem to have much bigger importance than the ones we've never known
just because no energetic connections have been formed with them. These same connections "escape" from consciousness unless you begin to
"untangle" them Revising patiently, researching. I try to improvise. Meditating I accept Death. I realize that all who seems so important will die
and so shall I. All importance exists relatively us while we cling to things. The closer we are to realizing Death and equality of things in the universe the
less we cling, gradually stop to pity and suffer. It's amazing how complicated and complex the feeling of self importance is and how many faces it has. - *
- * - Degree of detachment is what matters. The longer it is saved and deepened the stronger we are against the barrier. This detachment stands beside non-pity
(don't confuse it with cruelty). Breaking the barriers with power, you feel unusual lightness and freedom. You just want to get rid of all and float never
regretting or pitying anything. You feel happiness of some new freedom. Travelling you "get untied" from habitual life and family, you see them
soberly and without indulging. You also leave many people "behind" understanding how meaningless it is to waste power for keeping energy taking
relationships. Travelling you get rid of all what ties and what is not really needed. The big barrier is the barrier of our comfort zone. Around this zone-core
our values and affections stand which illusionary seem much more important than the ones of the others. The higher this barrier is the harder it is to leave
home, routines, habits, people, things etc. I've "burned" affections/possessions. Feelings are next: the wish to burn more, the wish to just get
rid of all comes and wanting to go to the new journey. I've "burned" people (not in fire, this act is close to revision). Feelings are light.
Feelings of freedom and equality of things arrive. Yes, this is that detachment. The main thing now is not to lose it returning "home", contacting
your past, family. But those will be different people and their words will echo somewhere far away, phantasmal images of known and unknown people will play the
same slow movie which used to have huge meaning for us and now reminds of an old spoiled videotape. Such movie is much easier to notice traveling. Fears will
want to take control over you as soon as you lose the detachment. Feeling of falling, losing the balance and peace in soul will follow. This is when "all
collapses". We need to be always on the alert. You build the dam and look after it not to get holes in it.
DarkLight that was some excellent and thorough insight into the task. The main two things I became aware of when doing these 'barrier' tasks, was
firstly the almost physical sensation that I was up close to some sort of barrier, the feeling of a wall in front of me when I would attempt to enter into the
barrier 'program'. Also, preceeding this I noticed how distracted my thoughts became. It seemed to take ages to just visualise myself throwing the
books in the fire.
I sensed this barrier that Ravenna was speaking of. It was a definite resistance that I felt. When I faced the resisitance I was able to delve deeper into
the structure and see how each one of the books felt like it had an invisible root and each root attached in such a way to the next. As the memories flowed
there was also a tendency to lose site of the books and other thougths come in to distract from the purpose. While doing the exercise today I also noticed
how my mind wanted to wander off drift and lose focus, it was more apparent this time of doing it. Each one of the early memories had showed me how important
I felt at the time and how my importance grew more and more. The more recent the books the more I noticed I didn't want to let them go as easily and toss
them in the fire.
Araknida
The more joyful the memories about the book were or the more the important the persons affiliated with those memories were, the more intensively
I felt the "barrier". When I first felt it I tried to examine it further and see what it was really about. There was some reluctance to burn the
books I recapitulated. It wasn't because of the fear of letting go or losing memories or anything like that. It was more about emotions... the books that
included very intense emotions were the hardest ones to burn. With those books I took the most time hanging the book over the fire before dropping it in it.
I have burned many bridges before, very important ones too and it has become somehow an easy act to me but this wasn't any of the kind. It wasn't
sadness I felt when doing this, not remorse or sorrow. Something like a mix between melancholy and nostalgy. This was more about my memories of emotions than
the actual happening memories. It was about myself and how I define myself, through emotions and those moments where I have felt them. The next question
was... Why was I reluctant to burn those books with the most intensive emotions included? I couldn't find out the answer and thus I threw the first book
into the fire clearly feeling the "barrier" that urged me to pick the book up from the fire and save whatever was left from it. I didn't, and
with every book I threw into the fire the "barrier" became more and more clear but still I was unable to realize what it truly was that kept me
hesitating while feeding the fire with books I had emotional ties with.
zalia_smilga
I tried small demo several times and got different results. At first I did as Ravenna instructed, burned books. To give a brief info, I always
was passionate about the books and it was a surprise to see me without a book in my hands. So one could presume, that it should be extremely hard to get rid
of them while meditating. However, I didn't feel almost any tension to burn the most remarkable books I have read and put them one after another in the
fire. I thought that there might be something wrong not to feel the barrier, described by Ravenna and other members, so decided to redo the demo once more.
But this time I chose more personal object to burn-my diary, which in some sense could take a form of a book;]The experience was completely different from
the previous one. The barrier appeared both in mental and physical ways. I felt myself keeping my diary in my hands, but as soon as I approached fire, I
would lose the thread of the thought and find myself in some other place. It was like and invisible shield bouncing my attempts away. At the same time I felt
hot and cold waves running through my body one after the other (that I usually feel when a fear appears, though this time the fear wasn't conscious).
Finally I managed to concentrate all my mind and after probably the fifth attempt threw the diary in the fire. The moment was of relief, like before my body
was tightened to the weights and after that released from them, but as well of immediat fear, that I lost the weights, which kept me stable on the
ground.
The most difficult was to burn my magical books. They either don't burn, a fire elemental or someone wants to take them away. I had to tear those
appart, sprinkle water, fight with the guy who wanted to take them, burn them many times. A lot of work I say! My Tarot cards didn't want to burn
too! They formed a vertical circle around the fire... but I managed to burn them seeing to it that the cards and the books turn to ashes. I became kind
of exhausted so I stopped. I guess it leads to a kind of let go feeling...mhm.
to work with this barrier you can reach the "non-pity" space. I've not really killed anybody meditating - all this "burning" is done in
Revision. But the feeling is like after the burning books meditation. This is the breaking useless ties feeling. - * - * - Such meditation technique makes me
feel familiar feelings close to Revision ones and breaking the feeling of self importance which often appears in fears and pity. Breaking it you get fragments
which then you "delete from the program". It's important not to miss them. Mosquito seems to have bigger importance than an elephant. Tender body
of a kitten makes people feel more pity than an old body of a street cat. Close people seem to have much bigger importance than the ones we've never known
just because no energetic connections have been formed with them. These same connections "escape" from consciousness unless you begin to
"untangle" them Revising patiently, researching. I try to improvise. Meditating I accept Death. I realize that all who seems so important will die
and so shall I. All importance exists relatively us while we cling to things. The closer we are to realizing Death and equality of things in the universe the
less we cling, gradually stop to pity and suffer. It's amazing how complicated and complex the feeling of self importance is and how many faces it has. - *
- * - Degree of detachment is what matters. The longer it is saved and deepened the stronger we are against the barrier. This detachment stands beside non-pity
(don't confuse it with cruelty). Breaking the barriers with power, you feel unusual lightness and freedom. You just want to get rid of all and float never
regretting or pitying anything. You feel happiness of some new freedom. Travelling you "get untied" from habitual life and family, you see them
soberly and without indulging. You also leave many people "behind" understanding how meaningless it is to waste power for keeping energy taking
relationships. Travelling you get rid of all what ties and what is not really needed. The big barrier is the barrier of our comfort zone. Around this zone-core
our values and affections stand which illusionary seem much more important than the ones of the others. The higher this barrier is the harder it is to leave
home, routines, habits, people, things etc. I've "burned" affections/possessions. Feelings are next: the wish to burn more, the wish to just get
rid of all comes and wanting to go to the new journey. I've "burned" people (not in fire, this act is close to revision). Feelings are light.
Feelings of freedom and equality of things arrive. Yes, this is that detachment. The main thing now is not to lose it returning "home", contacting
your past, family. But those will be different people and their words will echo somewhere far away, phantasmal images of known and unknown people will play the
same slow movie which used to have huge meaning for us and now reminds of an old spoiled videotape. Such movie is much easier to notice traveling. Fears will
want to take control over you as soon as you lose the detachment. Feeling of falling, losing the balance and peace in soul will follow. This is when "all
collapses". We need to be always on the alert. You build the dam and look after it not to get holes in it.
DarkLight that was some excellent and thorough insight into the task. The main two things I became aware of when doing these 'barrier' tasks, was
firstly the almost physical sensation that I was up close to some sort of barrier, the feeling of a wall in front of me when I would attempt to enter into the
barrier 'program'. Also, preceeding this I noticed how distracted my thoughts became. It seemed to take ages to just visualise myself throwing the
books in the fire.
I sensed this barrier that Ravenna was speaking of. It was a definite resistance that I felt. When I faced the resisitance I was able to delve deeper into
the structure and see how each one of the books felt like it had an invisible root and each root attached in such a way to the next. As the memories flowed
there was also a tendency to lose site of the books and other thougths come in to distract from the purpose. While doing the exercise today I also noticed
how my mind wanted to wander off drift and lose focus, it was more apparent this time of doing it. Each one of the early memories had showed me how important
I felt at the time and how my importance grew more and more. The more recent the books the more I noticed I didn't want to let them go as easily and toss
them in the fire.
Araknida
The more joyful the memories about the book were or the more the important the persons affiliated with those memories were, the more intensively
I felt the "barrier". When I first felt it I tried to examine it further and see what it was really about. There was some reluctance to burn the
books I recapitulated. It wasn't because of the fear of letting go or losing memories or anything like that. It was more about emotions... the books that
included very intense emotions were the hardest ones to burn. With those books I took the most time hanging the book over the fire before dropping it in it.
I have burned many bridges before, very important ones too and it has become somehow an easy act to me but this wasn't any of the kind. It wasn't
sadness I felt when doing this, not remorse or sorrow. Something like a mix between melancholy and nostalgy. This was more about my memories of emotions than
the actual happening memories. It was about myself and how I define myself, through emotions and those moments where I have felt them. The next question
was... Why was I reluctant to burn those books with the most intensive emotions included? I couldn't find out the answer and thus I threw the first book
into the fire clearly feeling the "barrier" that urged me to pick the book up from the fire and save whatever was left from it. I didn't, and
with every book I threw into the fire the "barrier" became more and more clear but still I was unable to realize what it truly was that kept me
hesitating while feeding the fire with books I had emotional ties with.
zalia_smilga
I tried small demo several times and got different results. At first I did as Ravenna instructed, burned books. To give a brief info, I always
was passionate about the books and it was a surprise to see me without a book in my hands. So one could presume, that it should be extremely hard to get rid
of them while meditating. However, I didn't feel almost any tension to burn the most remarkable books I have read and put them one after another in the
fire. I thought that there might be something wrong not to feel the barrier, described by Ravenna and other members, so decided to redo the demo once more.
But this time I chose more personal object to burn-my diary, which in some sense could take a form of a book;]The experience was completely different from
the previous one. The barrier appeared both in mental and physical ways. I felt myself keeping my diary in my hands, but as soon as I approached fire, I
would lose the thread of the thought and find myself in some other place. It was like and invisible shield bouncing my attempts away. At the same time I felt
hot and cold waves running through my body one after the other (that I usually feel when a fear appears, though this time the fear wasn't conscious).
Finally I managed to concentrate all my mind and after probably the fifth attempt threw the diary in the fire. The moment was of relief, like before my body
was tightened to the weights and after that released from them, but as well of immediat fear, that I lost the weights, which kept me stable on the
ground.
The most difficult was to burn my magical books. They either don't burn, a fire elemental or someone wants to take them away. I had to tear those
appart, sprinkle water, fight with the guy who wanted to take them, burn them many times. A lot of work I say! My Tarot cards didn't want to burn
too! They formed a vertical circle around the fire... but I managed to burn them seeing to it that the cards and the books turn to ashes. I became kind
of exhausted so I stopped. I guess it leads to a kind of let go feeling...mhm.