08-03-2017, 12:00 AM
communicating is a dance... and if one does not enjoy it then it is tragic :S.
I agree that it is tricky and also that it might seem a miracle we even get anywhere heh. But, just a thought, maybe sometimes it really is like a dance and the aim of it is not to get anywhere specific in terms of a destination but experience quite a few other things that are amazing as well
.
We, here communicating online, have another potential hurdle in the fact that we dont see each other's moods and states and such all too well. Like I talk differently to the same people about the same subjects depending on their state (or I might decide not to breach a certain subject depending on their state). Here we have little control over what input we give to a person in a certain state/mood. We give output and the way it is input is not part of our control. Irl it is already tricky enough.
One can say the most insightful thing but when the poor (erm lets use me as an example) watergaze's brain is boiling right now then the message might get lost in the translation/brain vapor. heh. (But the good thing is that in a discussion forum the post can be reread in a different mood/setting). In a natural real life interaction setting, one would look at the state of the person and then adjust one's talk and subject matter as well as mood and tone to it. One would gauge the level of engagement and depth of topic based on the unfolding interaction.
this is why I prefer chat to discussion forums in general.
What you call high expectations seems to me to be somewhat limiting the interaction. You have a preconception about what would give quality. instead of allowing quality to come of its own creative process you set the criteria for its birth. You may limit yourself out of a great talk. But then I am sure you also gain some with that setting, so maybe it equals out
. After all, you must have this setting for a reason .
Pixie, if you are too serious I'm a cucumber hahaha
I went through this foreign country ordeal quite a few times... and yes one notices that there is more to communicating than words. Still, for complex ideas one does usually need words. And communication is limited when people do not understand each other. In other ways, though, something can open up that we rarely make use of when we do understand each other's words/language. It is a kind of human perceptor sensor and a common sense sensor too. I was amazed how I could intuit what people were saying to me in many situations. But say when they were talking about how to fill out tax forms and whatever documents and this and that system of xyz of the state... then it is quite a different experience, rather an acoustic one haha .
Also, I decided in the past based on quite a few experiences that being too intuitive is not that nice for the intuitor. Sadly, that was quite a tragic conclusion since I then tuned down my intuition a notch by choice. It is just easier for the person to say what they want me to know than to know things they do not even want me to know and then act on them (I am a very honest and open, sincere, authentic whatever person so it did not occur to me to go against some things that were good for the person just because they didnt officially share or say something plus then who is supposed to remember that anyway). It can become awkward fast.
I found it useless to have info I cannot act upon and put into reality. I find it better not to know things I am not supposed to know.
But then, some decade later, I'm thinking I can do it now. But it's a slow process getting that back.
I agree that it is tricky and also that it might seem a miracle we even get anywhere heh. But, just a thought, maybe sometimes it really is like a dance and the aim of it is not to get anywhere specific in terms of a destination but experience quite a few other things that are amazing as well
.We, here communicating online, have another potential hurdle in the fact that we dont see each other's moods and states and such all too well. Like I talk differently to the same people about the same subjects depending on their state (or I might decide not to breach a certain subject depending on their state). Here we have little control over what input we give to a person in a certain state/mood. We give output and the way it is input is not part of our control. Irl it is already tricky enough
.One can say the most insightful thing but when the poor (erm lets use me as an example) watergaze's brain is boiling right now then the message might get lost in the translation/brain vapor. heh. (But the good thing is that in a discussion forum the post can be reread in a different mood/setting). In a natural real life interaction setting, one would look at the state of the person and then adjust one's talk and subject matter as well as mood and tone to it. One would gauge the level of engagement and depth of topic based on the unfolding interaction.
this is why I prefer chat to discussion forums in general
.What you call high expectations seems to me to be somewhat limiting the interaction. You have a preconception about what would give quality. instead of allowing quality to come of its own creative process you set the criteria for its birth. You may limit yourself out of a great talk. But then I am sure you also gain some with that setting, so maybe it equals out
. After all, you must have this setting for a reason . Pixie, if you are too serious I'm a cucumber hahaha
I went through this foreign country ordeal quite a few times... and yes one notices that there is more to communicating than words. Still, for complex ideas one does usually need words. And communication is limited when people do not understand each other. In other ways, though, something can open up that we rarely make use of when we do understand each other's words/language. It is a kind of human perceptor sensor and a common sense sensor too. I was amazed how I could intuit what people were saying to me in many situations. But say when they were talking about how to fill out tax forms and whatever documents and this and that system of xyz of the state... then it is quite a different experience
, rather an acoustic one haha .Also, I decided in the past based on quite a few experiences that being too intuitive is not that nice for the intuitor. Sadly, that was quite a tragic conclusion since I then tuned down my intuition a notch by choice. It is just easier for the person to say what they want me to know than to know things they do not even want me to know and then act on them (I am a very honest and open, sincere, authentic whatever person so it did not occur to me to go against some things that were good for the person just because they didnt officially share or say something plus then who is supposed to remember that anyway). It can become awkward fast
.I found it useless to have info I cannot act upon and put into reality. I find it better not to know things I am not supposed to know
. But then, some decade later, I'm thinking I can do it now
. But it's a slow process getting that back.