12-16-2016, 12:00 AM
The important thing to do is to get the selfish
(Edit: removed a personal attack.)
to admit he is a curse apon our way of life
and for all the self serving egoic $%@* he has perpetuated
he has alo bought civil unrest and war to all of our doors.
and all because..
15 years ago.. when i started writing on Lone Wolf's forum
i was a young man.
Today i see the youth of today and feel a familiar pang of regret and long spent youth.
"familiar"?
In this room where i sit, objective to my vile jealousy of the young.
i find a old sword buried in my back..
it has been there for 15 years.
stalking?
what is stalking? I share nothing with that prick.
Let me explain my slant on the messiah complex.
when i was 5 or 6 i saw the Dalai Lama on tv..
and then declared to my parents that i was the Dalai Lama and so how could he be.?
I realised at that moment that nobody was looking for me as the king of the mountains etc..
and so in my sense of equality sought to express whatever it as i felt through
the challenges of cold war britain.
through-out my teens i always had a very powerful spirit that i did not really control
it was a part of my potential and my totality and not my knowledge.
etc.. etc..
eventually i realised i could study yoga and chakras and bullshit and crystals and bullshit and acupuncture and bulsshit.
but no matter how much i did i would never know where this totality came from as i would
become a "talk the talk" type spiritualist.
i found it disgusting and so set about destroying my scurity of mind
to break the cage of self assurance etc..
some people on my path were all too happy to oblige.
the immpeccable ones were no less ruthless than the sadistic..
but come the day i cried STOP.. they stopped
the others linger on.
everything my spiritual power has is a result of deconstruction..
of whittling away what i saw as fundamental
but which once premoved left me still alive,,
so what is left is life.
it is the only lgical reason for my survival.
most of my set didnt make it.
on may 1st 2005. whilst tripping on acid..
i picked up a branch of wood and it turned to spirit.
i held it in my hands like a rockstar holds his axe.
and dclared to my self " I am Jesus!"
then i recoiled in a sort of horror/embarrasment.. and tried to sort my +!## out.
then i saw an enormous red jellyfish of a demon.bigger than our world, apon each of its thousands of barbs
a solitary (edit: removed personal attacked. Read as: person) with a messiaic complex.
none would talk about it to therapists , none would talk to each other.
none could even SEE the others as they each thought they were the messiah.
MINDBOMB.
from that day i started to do everything in terms of.
"I have a right to engineer a world changing miracle without calling myself
or believing myself to be the messiah".
In many ways my very wierd behaviour is a defence mechanism (stalk) to
prevent people from thinking i am one of the ones apon "the thorns"
yes the Jesus Demon is a real (edit: removed personal attack).
bigger than our world.. interveighed with people upon the surface of our world.
people who all need to get a !%*!*#+ grip now.
(Edit: merged consecutive posts by the same author. Began to correct some typos, but then needed to stop as I was changing the energy of post and it was taking too long ((too many typos)). If you would like me to edit your post, Rosy, please make the revisions you want and post it in the admin/mod log and I am more than willing to update with your revision. Edits are to remove personal attacks. Keep in mind an idea is more powerful when presented objectively. Being subjective in your sharing of ideas, Rosy, generally alienates people from connecting with the idea.)
(Edit: removed a personal attack.)
to admit he is a curse apon our way of life
and for all the self serving egoic $%@* he has perpetuated
he has alo bought civil unrest and war to all of our doors.
and all because..
15 years ago.. when i started writing on Lone Wolf's forum
i was a young man.
Today i see the youth of today and feel a familiar pang of regret and long spent youth.
"familiar"?
In this room where i sit, objective to my vile jealousy of the young.
i find a old sword buried in my back..
it has been there for 15 years.
stalking?
what is stalking? I share nothing with that prick.
Let me explain my slant on the messiah complex.
when i was 5 or 6 i saw the Dalai Lama on tv..
and then declared to my parents that i was the Dalai Lama and so how could he be.?
I realised at that moment that nobody was looking for me as the king of the mountains etc..
and so in my sense of equality sought to express whatever it as i felt through
the challenges of cold war britain.
through-out my teens i always had a very powerful spirit that i did not really control
it was a part of my potential and my totality and not my knowledge.
etc.. etc..
eventually i realised i could study yoga and chakras and bullshit and crystals and bullshit and acupuncture and bulsshit.
but no matter how much i did i would never know where this totality came from as i would
become a "talk the talk" type spiritualist.
i found it disgusting and so set about destroying my scurity of mind
to break the cage of self assurance etc..
some people on my path were all too happy to oblige.
the immpeccable ones were no less ruthless than the sadistic..
but come the day i cried STOP.. they stopped
the others linger on.
everything my spiritual power has is a result of deconstruction..
of whittling away what i saw as fundamental
but which once premoved left me still alive,,
so what is left is life.
it is the only lgical reason for my survival.
most of my set didnt make it.
on may 1st 2005. whilst tripping on acid..
i picked up a branch of wood and it turned to spirit.
i held it in my hands like a rockstar holds his axe.
and dclared to my self " I am Jesus!"
then i recoiled in a sort of horror/embarrasment.. and tried to sort my +!## out.
then i saw an enormous red jellyfish of a demon.bigger than our world, apon each of its thousands of barbs
a solitary (edit: removed personal attacked. Read as: person) with a messiaic complex.
none would talk about it to therapists , none would talk to each other.
none could even SEE the others as they each thought they were the messiah.
MINDBOMB.
from that day i started to do everything in terms of.
"I have a right to engineer a world changing miracle without calling myself
or believing myself to be the messiah".
In many ways my very wierd behaviour is a defence mechanism (stalk) to
prevent people from thinking i am one of the ones apon "the thorns"
yes the Jesus Demon is a real (edit: removed personal attack).
bigger than our world.. interveighed with people upon the surface of our world.
people who all need to get a !%*!*#+ grip now.
(Edit: merged consecutive posts by the same author. Began to correct some typos, but then needed to stop as I was changing the energy of post and it was taking too long ((too many typos)). If you would like me to edit your post, Rosy, please make the revisions you want and post it in the admin/mod log and I am more than willing to update with your revision. Edits are to remove personal attacks. Keep in mind an idea is more powerful when presented objectively. Being subjective in your sharing of ideas, Rosy, generally alienates people from connecting with the idea.)