01-05-2014, 12:00 AM
moving moving, stumble upon posts I find I would like to respond to, dont find time.. this is 3rd time I moved this thread I think and wont let that happen again
What I see is that most often the result of what many students of Carlos Castaneda and his books (and other systems) learn and perfect is their vocabulary. They make a system and perfect the system. That is not the actual point of what to do with the books, if there is one (I'd go with inspiration). All that does is one makes an order and the spark goes byebye as it becomes the known the ordinary known. I know I dont know a lot of things in them books. I know some terms evade my reasoning. High time i re-read that stuff, the me 8 years ago seems like a totally different person to me at this moment. But I remember I was thinking what the hell is an abstract core? Now of course I do not remember what that was about any more, just that it eluded me totally hehe.
What exactly is the difference between a dreaming body and the double and the energy body. sure i have read about it and read what people said about it. Does that mean that I KNOW? I dont need to have these terms clear and talk about that now, that is not where my work is. If anything in that strand what I need is to have experiences to get my own understanding. Am I saying I have not had any experiences.. no... but does having some experiences make me an expert? no... Does it even make me competent to speak and think about this stuff? eer not really.. just as the above post said... i have seen things seem similar that are not. it is easy to read something and then put an experience onto it. I found best thing to do with experiences is to not box them into such labels, but wait, one's own awareness will sort it out and name it when it is that far. No need to hurry.. As the saying goes: "You get further when you go slow".
(now I have to laugh thinking about just a few days back someone commented on me not really writing here at the board. of course I do not write. what would I be saying..? In general here I share and seek experiences, prints of states, postcards from journeys, not systemologies. the experiences of others can inspire me, they hold a key here and there that I can make use of. those of you beyond seeking experiences, as Im sure that is a step somewhere too, can share the systemologies. Im fine with that, but please put in an experience here and there, you know for us slow folk it makes it a better read ).
Do I KNOW what the eagle is? No. Which attention have I experienced? no fucking clue . What do I care which it is, does it change my experience? eer no .
I see people talking as if they had a fucking clue what they are talking about. But do they? There is this strange feeling one has around people who know what they are on about and all them 'experts' sure dont have it (interestingly enough the ones who know dont really talk that much about it in the clear sense of talking about it. they talk it as they are it). The one person (real not just internet writing that one cant verify on the actual life and reality of the actual person) who I'd say knows what she is talking about that I know rarely even goes into the CC terminology in public, it seems to me this is because she knows how actually unhelpful they can be for those who have loaded them with all sorts of bs links (to experiences, their questions about these experiences, the other systems they linked to it due to some similarity they found, etc). Their mind is already full when it should be a clean slate still.
Why is it that when I am talking and even know what Im talking about I dont talk like the 'experts'. All that certainty they have when they speak, the force of their words makes an impression on the impressionable. I look at it and it is hollow, nothing is there. Nothing for me to hold on to and make use of.
How could there be something there for me anyway? What I need is to see for myself. All this talk is getting me nowhere.
What if we all go through that... so we come to a point when looking at where we are after xyz years we realize we have yet to make the step that gets us out the reading room door. So why dont we? Because we would have to let go of the control we have so carefully tried to amass . Oh me like control, me like sense, me like how it all can be put in a neat box and shoved away. The force of the unknown is what this is about imo, thus making sense of everything does exactly the opposite and ruins it all. One needs to stand in that force, bear the pressure..
What is the use of a discussion board then? Self-stalk, inspiration, creativity.. to name a few things that pop up for me.. being around people who struggle and keep at it until one day something happens (and then they tell us about that too). And let's face it.. it is damn hard to find similarly oriented company, even on boards like this. Surrounding with similar intent others have for themselves as I have for myself. People who give reports from spots on the path I have been at, I am at or I might get to one day and then having seen that it will click for me, or not, but seeing some people work and share inspires me (ideally makes me feel bad about my lazy ass heh), helps me have a clearer focus. Or maybe Im just making that up, maybe Im just glad Im not in this **** alone . oh wait.. I am.. hahaha
P.S.
teachers who tell you youve got it all wrong are idiots, they just want you to stick around to try and find out what is right. Teachers who tell you youve got it are idiots too, they just want you to feel all is ok, calm the fury rising up. All teachers are idiots. No body is really helping any body. All they can do is watch, if they see well enough. The real deals (who are not really teachers as such) are almost silent (what concerns those things cause otherwise they are also people and thus talk too). They are around so if you need to talk to someone who listens and sees and understands and does not need to judge.. that is why they are there. To be seen, in all one's bs glory, is really something... just with that one can get a grip and move again... Actually after talking to such a person you have no clue where you are. if what you are doing is right or not. all it did is take things away and youre left with nothing trying to find your footing. They dont provide you replacement, they leave you a'hanging in the no space of no thing. Then the silly me that I am grumbles how this is really unlikable, the uncertainty is impractical, how is one to function like this even? what am i to do? 0 is not the way, 1 is not the way. what is there apart from 0 and 1? me a programmer in this metaphor. what is one to do? bear it and move further.. Let the storm rage on (The cold never bothered me anyway..)
What I see is that most often the result of what many students of Carlos Castaneda and his books (and other systems) learn and perfect is their vocabulary. They make a system and perfect the system. That is not the actual point of what to do with the books, if there is one (I'd go with inspiration). All that does is one makes an order and the spark goes byebye as it becomes the known the ordinary known. I know I dont know a lot of things in them books. I know some terms evade my reasoning. High time i re-read that stuff, the me 8 years ago seems like a totally different person to me at this moment. But I remember I was thinking what the hell is an abstract core? Now of course I do not remember what that was about any more, just that it eluded me totally hehe.
What exactly is the difference between a dreaming body and the double and the energy body. sure i have read about it and read what people said about it. Does that mean that I KNOW? I dont need to have these terms clear and talk about that now, that is not where my work is. If anything in that strand what I need is to have experiences to get my own understanding. Am I saying I have not had any experiences.. no... but does having some experiences make me an expert? no... Does it even make me competent to speak and think about this stuff? eer not really.. just as the above post said... i have seen things seem similar that are not. it is easy to read something and then put an experience onto it. I found best thing to do with experiences is to not box them into such labels, but wait, one's own awareness will sort it out and name it when it is that far. No need to hurry.. As the saying goes: "You get further when you go slow".
(now I have to laugh thinking about just a few days back someone commented on me not really writing here at the board. of course I do not write. what would I be saying..? In general here I share and seek experiences, prints of states, postcards from journeys, not systemologies. the experiences of others can inspire me, they hold a key here and there that I can make use of. those of you beyond seeking experiences, as Im sure that is a step somewhere too, can share the systemologies. Im fine with that, but please put in an experience here and there, you know for us slow folk it makes it a better read ).
Do I KNOW what the eagle is? No. Which attention have I experienced? no fucking clue . What do I care which it is, does it change my experience? eer no .
I see people talking as if they had a fucking clue what they are talking about. But do they? There is this strange feeling one has around people who know what they are on about and all them 'experts' sure dont have it (interestingly enough the ones who know dont really talk that much about it in the clear sense of talking about it. they talk it as they are it). The one person (real not just internet writing that one cant verify on the actual life and reality of the actual person) who I'd say knows what she is talking about that I know rarely even goes into the CC terminology in public, it seems to me this is because she knows how actually unhelpful they can be for those who have loaded them with all sorts of bs links (to experiences, their questions about these experiences, the other systems they linked to it due to some similarity they found, etc). Their mind is already full when it should be a clean slate still.
Why is it that when I am talking and even know what Im talking about I dont talk like the 'experts'. All that certainty they have when they speak, the force of their words makes an impression on the impressionable. I look at it and it is hollow, nothing is there. Nothing for me to hold on to and make use of.
How could there be something there for me anyway? What I need is to see for myself. All this talk is getting me nowhere.
What if we all go through that... so we come to a point when looking at where we are after xyz years we realize we have yet to make the step that gets us out the reading room door. So why dont we? Because we would have to let go of the control we have so carefully tried to amass . Oh me like control, me like sense, me like how it all can be put in a neat box and shoved away. The force of the unknown is what this is about imo, thus making sense of everything does exactly the opposite and ruins it all. One needs to stand in that force, bear the pressure..
What is the use of a discussion board then? Self-stalk, inspiration, creativity.. to name a few things that pop up for me.. being around people who struggle and keep at it until one day something happens (and then they tell us about that too). And let's face it.. it is damn hard to find similarly oriented company, even on boards like this. Surrounding with similar intent others have for themselves as I have for myself. People who give reports from spots on the path I have been at, I am at or I might get to one day and then having seen that it will click for me, or not, but seeing some people work and share inspires me (ideally makes me feel bad about my lazy ass heh), helps me have a clearer focus. Or maybe Im just making that up, maybe Im just glad Im not in this **** alone . oh wait.. I am.. hahaha
P.S.
teachers who tell you youve got it all wrong are idiots, they just want you to stick around to try and find out what is right. Teachers who tell you youve got it are idiots too, they just want you to feel all is ok, calm the fury rising up. All teachers are idiots. No body is really helping any body. All they can do is watch, if they see well enough. The real deals (who are not really teachers as such) are almost silent (what concerns those things cause otherwise they are also people and thus talk too). They are around so if you need to talk to someone who listens and sees and understands and does not need to judge.. that is why they are there. To be seen, in all one's bs glory, is really something... just with that one can get a grip and move again... Actually after talking to such a person you have no clue where you are. if what you are doing is right or not. all it did is take things away and youre left with nothing trying to find your footing. They dont provide you replacement, they leave you a'hanging in the no space of no thing. Then the silly me that I am grumbles how this is really unlikable, the uncertainty is impractical, how is one to function like this even? what am i to do? 0 is not the way, 1 is not the way. what is there apart from 0 and 1? me a programmer in this metaphor. what is one to do? bear it and move further.. Let the storm rage on (The cold never bothered me anyway..)