10-01-2013, 12:00 AM
1/20/12
where I began recording this dream, I was in a vast glass or crystal “home”. More like a series of connected rooms, and common areas. It was made of crystal, and outside it was very dark. And muddy. And barren. My “parents” had left me, and I was wandering, disengaged, hoping they would return. But they did not. Long amounts of time I wandered the same clear halls and rooms, unaware of anything but my waiting. But I grew tired of that, or perhaps I became more curious as to where I was. When this happened, I saw I was not alone, there were many others. About 70-80 men and women. Still I wandered alone, however. They were different, they were entering and leaving the vast crystal home under the dark starless sky. They were tracking mud inside, so a few times my pacing was broken by stepping in drifts of mud. Still much much time passed. I saw something new. A plant, or a leaf or branch. What is this new thing? How did it come to be? Why is it familiar? Still I paced. Latter, I saw another new thing, through the glass, distant, a great yellow red orb in the sky. Again what is this? A figure in a robe spoke to me, he had been standing there waiting. “the sun” you know what a sun is, remember? I almost did. But this sun gave no light, not here anyway, where it was dark and muddy and empty. Yet there it was, blazing in the sky. This was not my parent though, so I turned away and again began to pace silently. This time when I got to the common room, another new thing. All the people were in one spot. And making funny noises...laughter. And they were “speaking” with mouths not touching thoughts. So I stopped pacing alone and went into the gathering because it was a new thing again.
People were placing “leaves” and “stuff” into their mouths, and they were making sounds from them. I felt no desire to try it myself, but I was confused. I sat down on a chair...another new thing, sitting. And chair. And looked around. There were little people, new people? How can there be more people then there were before. And small. And some of the before people looked different, Grey and with cracks. The man said again “age, and children” as usual they didn’t see him, and he spoke into my mind. Could they see me, no I don’t think so. I never sat, or spoke, or ate, so how could they see me? As I sat, began feeling a familiar sensation, not in this dream minds context, but for me in life. A surging electric pulse, waves pulsing. I
let it go farther then I usually do, I usually wake, or jump if awake and shudder to be rid of it. Or if im half asleep scream “no”. But this mind did not know to do those things.
So t struck and struck and my mind, not dream mind, my mind, twisted and was overwhelmed by electricity. Then it subsided a bit. And was like listening to a radio. The dream mind did not understand music. But I was also my lucid self at the same time. The two spoke to each other like through a vast void. The dream mind thought it was maybe his father, but not quite. I...didn’t have a bleeding clue.
This song was nice, rock of course. Here I though to wake and record, but I did not want to wake. So as it played, I split the difference. I woke enough to grab my notepad, and a pen. Dark, could not see just found a page with no smudges. The music played and the dream mind was fully in the dream, an anchor, so like this, I recorded my first notes of the night. Some lyrics, the main lyrics. I wrote over and over “Neeew thing You thiing. New thing, you thing” all I wrote its all mashed up. Since i never woke, just split from it I slipped right back in.
The force hit me even harder now, as soon as I did. I split. Broke. Not quite. I was bisected in energy, mind, into four compartments it seemed, my self. As twisting inside itself. Like a intricate spinning globes and gears but alive and stamped, in itself. I cant explain it. It wasn’t just in the dream, it was up and down from my body to the core of the earth how do I explain? I don’t. It was beyond overwhelming. I always feared this much but I let it hit and twist me for a long time, long long time, when I first went to write those words, it was still dark in my room. This happened so long, again I went to write, it was light in my room. So an hour. Hours, hours and hours in that.
Dream just continued along like a moment had passed. Now I was aware. And they could see me. There was a women sitting at another table at a chair. She smiled and it looked like the top teeth on the right, like three of them, had turned black or were missing. That figure spoke now not mind. He said. Eating/Age/life = Decay of form. Change. “Need Dental Work”. Are Dentists, doctors. And graves. A bit morbid and beautiful I cant capture the sentiment. Also just a form, game, conception. All were still a s I was, beofre time. Well the first ones anyway? But children too. Not ever in that state as the first though. Made here? The lady smiled and I had another new thing. I smiled back and spoke. Like a baby but I knew words. I think I ate? Food. First food? Now the crystal place was empty. Ahh she had come, they kept coming back until all of them had left. First one in, last one out I was. OK. Parents/creators not coming back yet, wait there, not here. Goodbye, home. I already had mud on my soles, feet, so I could walk out. Sun was rising? Light. Morning comes.
Now was a continuation, but not in time. I was more myself in mind in dream. I was moving between rooms, in a realm not the same as dream. In dream, was a house, a guest house or work building, and a gazebo structure but in crystal glass. I knew this was same spot as large crystal place from time before time. This was what it looked like now. Some of the first ones, int heir now forms, still lived here or maintained it like caretakers. It was so lovely. The gardens with roses. It was by a sea, the shore birds cried, and the breeze swayed trees. The gazebo was enclosed by the same crystal panes. But the house and barn were regular buildings now. I had always been, in time, possessed by the vision of the energy curling and moving inside of itself. I was an inventor...i think this was Victorian times? 1850's? My lives work was fashioning in form, from copper and crystal, the energy thing. Gears and balls spinning in each other. I called it the great machine. The great machine. Sit in the middle. Magic, beyond magic. Was a bit possessed by making it right. I spent a life being a caretaker, but mostly, in my snazzy little tweed suit, creating that machine just right. I did it! Finally! In the Gazebo, by the sea. The great machine. I went into it, and did it. And it was creation, or a reflection of it. Contentment. But...
I was right back again. Now it was now. Like a moment had passed. The house and barn were run down, there were still caretakers, but they weren’t mindful. They barely saw me. Confused. I was this guy. Named Andrew. Dream self was waking self overlay completely now. I was confused. Where is my machine? What has happened here? I went to the gazebo. There were lines of people, like school kids bussed to a place. Other owned it now. They maintained the gardens, but the machine was gone. There were displays about god and junk int here, it was nice, but the gazebo was a tuning chamber not a space for displays. I demanded to see the boss, owner. He spoke to me. By what right do you claim this? Why is it a museum? Its good to share and let children come, but why are you charging to come here? I did not like him. He said when the left, their were debts. And this one had tended the gardens, and since he was not payed, he took them. I didn’t want to tip my hand, so I simply asked abdbaout my great machine. He said sent to a museum...Smithsonian? In Seattle? And gave me an address and phone number. He still did not see me as I was. I could not help but say. “you legally did not have the right to do this, debt was with caretakers, did not entitle you to this place that was not theirs to trade” but he argued and his staff got hostile and I didn’t want to tip him off more so I left. To understand what had happened. This was the end of this story. For now in nights dreaming.
But this was not the end of dreaming. I was like I am now, but I lived more alone. In a studio in a renovated art deco building in Los angeles. Writing, doing something? Close to where i was born. My father kept coming, every day, he thought we were ridding home from his work, like I would take him every day up until he died in November. But he was so luminous, and happy, he was his happy self. Telling me about his day at work. But I knew he was dead, so there could be no day at work. For five days this happened, he would arrive at my condo, but think we were were I live, the real life home, and Id let him drive and come back. I enjoyed it, but I was worried too over this. I knew I was dreaming. I didn’t want to remind him he was dead, or this was not real. Finally he said he had a doctors appointment. He was talking and interacting with figures in an office. I could see him doing it. But was he? So I questioned the figures in turn. Now they didn’t see him, they were scared by what i was saying, a ghost? no...yes...not us, not here. My dad looked stricken because he could hear. We returned to my condo, I drove this time. He was fading. Like a hologram. I asked him...about 1970's los angeles, where and when I was born. I asked him about Carlos Castaneda specifically. My dad taught where he taught? Around where he lived. Ill need to ask mom. He faded more. Not because of the question, he did not address it yet. He told me he was scared. He could feel himself, draining, fading away. He spoke in fear of “El chayo” “the sucker” was removing his energy, him, sucking him away, day by day, he is fading. I asked thinking about heaven or departing. He was full of fear. No being consumed. El chayo. Every day, sucks more of him away. So horrible. I have to do something. What can I do? Where is he whats happening. I was frantic. I followed the spirits advice. I looked for a man who spoke of things from my past, that I had been shown. Nagual Lone Wolf. When 11/11/11 approached, and he died, I held his spirit high, not low. When my darkness came, I did not allow myself to be taken like him, when I collapsed and died the emts came a month or so ago...more like 2 now. I did what i was asked, what I needed to do. Why is he fading? Why is this so? I love him so much.
I questioned him again and it wasnt him. It was like a switch. Was another, different voice. He told me things, about my question,about Carlos. Wasn’t that interesting and wasn’t really my point and who believes dreams lol. It was kinda again I did not wake all the way here is what I wrote. dreams cant be seen. El Chayo...the sucking man. CC was worship of “earth entity” “Carthaginian” (tenet/matus eagle?) Thick soles. Feet. Earth. Mud. Cant read my next notes. Nyage? Perry? Mesa.>> his was more like not my father so I let it fade. End of Los Angeles dream.
Again it is now days. My e cig is banned, but I have an elaborate device like a nook can draw vapor from. And many many batteries, functions. Intricate like the machine. A notepad. I am exploring its functionality. Thankful someone got it for me and now I am finally using it. White eucalyptus flavored vapor but nice. And many many other hidden functions.
I go and find a child. He had a cleft lip that was operate don, and his nose is disfigured, so he stays at home is home schooled by his mother. He is brilliant and nice kid. We talk about games and stuff. He shows me how hes hacked a big company, to make sure games go OK. I own 25% of that company, but I don’t tell him. Hes a kid that lives alone so hes enthusiastic about what he can do showing me. I suggest he should probably tell the owners what he did, but hes a good kid im sure it will be OK, maybe he can help run it. He doesn’t know but hes thinking about it. He hides away and his mom protects him because people are assholes. I share a meal with them. Its cereal, and chocolate milk, pizza and chocolate pudding. His favorite things. His mother loves him very much. So we eat. Check on the other owners, they are trying to trace his latest hack. I tell them its OK, I got it covered its not an attack so they stop. Even if the kid is too scared, I can cover for him. I like him, I wish he were my son.
Final dream is long like the first, but im out of juice for writing. So shorter version. I was in a city. The past, but in the future. I had 1,000 pieces of gold, coins. I must have been wealthy, because this place was not. I was depositing them? I was like a teenager or young adult. The man I left them with, asked me to deliver a package. Seemed like the correct thing something I did normally, so I agreed. My tunic was kind of fancy, and I had the nicest horse to ride. I found the man I was to deliver to. It was strange thing, in strange writing, a packet of paper. The man seemed more human then human, perfect, like dirt did not settle on him. He must have seen my curiosity. He showed me the paper was orders/transit/pass port. On it were clipped ten credit notes. He said...ahh you delivered it, then you are one who can afford these. 100 gold pieces became ten credit notes. Paper money. He let me follow on my horse, or maybe I gave him a ride. He took me outside. A spaceport? Wait machines can fly? Of course how did I know spaceport. He got sown and was smiling at me. I got down from horse too. He said, or I felt “this is a true Roman” He was from space. Pluto? Pluto was where they lived. At the edge. The colony under a crystal dome. Ahh...the first dream. Wait when did I sleep to dream, in the dream i was confused. But I was separated into at least two levels of awareness again so bare with me. “the true Romans live, at the edge of space, the first ones, and the guardians of the children, but also of life and reality. I can go too. Have a ship. I have more then enough. For ten credits. He waved and boarded a ship. A spaceport? No one knows? The kings must know...its right here by the city. But how come people don’t know? Confused like that. So I think id like to take one of the ships. But the man left with others, so I need to find others. I find a few friends. I check with the money keeper. Yes yes can convert it to credits. In just riding my horse, running a hand over my sword hilt from a scabbard. Daydreaming. About space. And flying. And other worlds. And seeing all the poverty here. Why? Why? No answer. Just the horses gallop, and the feeling of metal hilt in my hand. Thats enough. Wheew am I tired. I didn’t wake till 4pm. After the energy thing in the first dream, well I was really tired after that. But a good restful tired. Good thing I live with family someone checked don me woke me. I still might be asleep.
where I began recording this dream, I was in a vast glass or crystal “home”. More like a series of connected rooms, and common areas. It was made of crystal, and outside it was very dark. And muddy. And barren. My “parents” had left me, and I was wandering, disengaged, hoping they would return. But they did not. Long amounts of time I wandered the same clear halls and rooms, unaware of anything but my waiting. But I grew tired of that, or perhaps I became more curious as to where I was. When this happened, I saw I was not alone, there were many others. About 70-80 men and women. Still I wandered alone, however. They were different, they were entering and leaving the vast crystal home under the dark starless sky. They were tracking mud inside, so a few times my pacing was broken by stepping in drifts of mud. Still much much time passed. I saw something new. A plant, or a leaf or branch. What is this new thing? How did it come to be? Why is it familiar? Still I paced. Latter, I saw another new thing, through the glass, distant, a great yellow red orb in the sky. Again what is this? A figure in a robe spoke to me, he had been standing there waiting. “the sun” you know what a sun is, remember? I almost did. But this sun gave no light, not here anyway, where it was dark and muddy and empty. Yet there it was, blazing in the sky. This was not my parent though, so I turned away and again began to pace silently. This time when I got to the common room, another new thing. All the people were in one spot. And making funny noises...laughter. And they were “speaking” with mouths not touching thoughts. So I stopped pacing alone and went into the gathering because it was a new thing again.
People were placing “leaves” and “stuff” into their mouths, and they were making sounds from them. I felt no desire to try it myself, but I was confused. I sat down on a chair...another new thing, sitting. And chair. And looked around. There were little people, new people? How can there be more people then there were before. And small. And some of the before people looked different, Grey and with cracks. The man said again “age, and children” as usual they didn’t see him, and he spoke into my mind. Could they see me, no I don’t think so. I never sat, or spoke, or ate, so how could they see me? As I sat, began feeling a familiar sensation, not in this dream minds context, but for me in life. A surging electric pulse, waves pulsing. I
let it go farther then I usually do, I usually wake, or jump if awake and shudder to be rid of it. Or if im half asleep scream “no”. But this mind did not know to do those things.
So t struck and struck and my mind, not dream mind, my mind, twisted and was overwhelmed by electricity. Then it subsided a bit. And was like listening to a radio. The dream mind did not understand music. But I was also my lucid self at the same time. The two spoke to each other like through a vast void. The dream mind thought it was maybe his father, but not quite. I...didn’t have a bleeding clue.
This song was nice, rock of course. Here I though to wake and record, but I did not want to wake. So as it played, I split the difference. I woke enough to grab my notepad, and a pen. Dark, could not see just found a page with no smudges. The music played and the dream mind was fully in the dream, an anchor, so like this, I recorded my first notes of the night. Some lyrics, the main lyrics. I wrote over and over “Neeew thing You thiing. New thing, you thing” all I wrote its all mashed up. Since i never woke, just split from it I slipped right back in.
The force hit me even harder now, as soon as I did. I split. Broke. Not quite. I was bisected in energy, mind, into four compartments it seemed, my self. As twisting inside itself. Like a intricate spinning globes and gears but alive and stamped, in itself. I cant explain it. It wasn’t just in the dream, it was up and down from my body to the core of the earth how do I explain? I don’t. It was beyond overwhelming. I always feared this much but I let it hit and twist me for a long time, long long time, when I first went to write those words, it was still dark in my room. This happened so long, again I went to write, it was light in my room. So an hour. Hours, hours and hours in that.
Dream just continued along like a moment had passed. Now I was aware. And they could see me. There was a women sitting at another table at a chair. She smiled and it looked like the top teeth on the right, like three of them, had turned black or were missing. That figure spoke now not mind. He said. Eating/Age/life = Decay of form. Change. “Need Dental Work”. Are Dentists, doctors. And graves. A bit morbid and beautiful I cant capture the sentiment. Also just a form, game, conception. All were still a s I was, beofre time. Well the first ones anyway? But children too. Not ever in that state as the first though. Made here? The lady smiled and I had another new thing. I smiled back and spoke. Like a baby but I knew words. I think I ate? Food. First food? Now the crystal place was empty. Ahh she had come, they kept coming back until all of them had left. First one in, last one out I was. OK. Parents/creators not coming back yet, wait there, not here. Goodbye, home. I already had mud on my soles, feet, so I could walk out. Sun was rising? Light. Morning comes.
Now was a continuation, but not in time. I was more myself in mind in dream. I was moving between rooms, in a realm not the same as dream. In dream, was a house, a guest house or work building, and a gazebo structure but in crystal glass. I knew this was same spot as large crystal place from time before time. This was what it looked like now. Some of the first ones, int heir now forms, still lived here or maintained it like caretakers. It was so lovely. The gardens with roses. It was by a sea, the shore birds cried, and the breeze swayed trees. The gazebo was enclosed by the same crystal panes. But the house and barn were regular buildings now. I had always been, in time, possessed by the vision of the energy curling and moving inside of itself. I was an inventor...i think this was Victorian times? 1850's? My lives work was fashioning in form, from copper and crystal, the energy thing. Gears and balls spinning in each other. I called it the great machine. The great machine. Sit in the middle. Magic, beyond magic. Was a bit possessed by making it right. I spent a life being a caretaker, but mostly, in my snazzy little tweed suit, creating that machine just right. I did it! Finally! In the Gazebo, by the sea. The great machine. I went into it, and did it. And it was creation, or a reflection of it. Contentment. But...
I was right back again. Now it was now. Like a moment had passed. The house and barn were run down, there were still caretakers, but they weren’t mindful. They barely saw me. Confused. I was this guy. Named Andrew. Dream self was waking self overlay completely now. I was confused. Where is my machine? What has happened here? I went to the gazebo. There were lines of people, like school kids bussed to a place. Other owned it now. They maintained the gardens, but the machine was gone. There were displays about god and junk int here, it was nice, but the gazebo was a tuning chamber not a space for displays. I demanded to see the boss, owner. He spoke to me. By what right do you claim this? Why is it a museum? Its good to share and let children come, but why are you charging to come here? I did not like him. He said when the left, their were debts. And this one had tended the gardens, and since he was not payed, he took them. I didn’t want to tip my hand, so I simply asked abdbaout my great machine. He said sent to a museum...Smithsonian? In Seattle? And gave me an address and phone number. He still did not see me as I was. I could not help but say. “you legally did not have the right to do this, debt was with caretakers, did not entitle you to this place that was not theirs to trade” but he argued and his staff got hostile and I didn’t want to tip him off more so I left. To understand what had happened. This was the end of this story. For now in nights dreaming.
But this was not the end of dreaming. I was like I am now, but I lived more alone. In a studio in a renovated art deco building in Los angeles. Writing, doing something? Close to where i was born. My father kept coming, every day, he thought we were ridding home from his work, like I would take him every day up until he died in November. But he was so luminous, and happy, he was his happy self. Telling me about his day at work. But I knew he was dead, so there could be no day at work. For five days this happened, he would arrive at my condo, but think we were were I live, the real life home, and Id let him drive and come back. I enjoyed it, but I was worried too over this. I knew I was dreaming. I didn’t want to remind him he was dead, or this was not real. Finally he said he had a doctors appointment. He was talking and interacting with figures in an office. I could see him doing it. But was he? So I questioned the figures in turn. Now they didn’t see him, they were scared by what i was saying, a ghost? no...yes...not us, not here. My dad looked stricken because he could hear. We returned to my condo, I drove this time. He was fading. Like a hologram. I asked him...about 1970's los angeles, where and when I was born. I asked him about Carlos Castaneda specifically. My dad taught where he taught? Around where he lived. Ill need to ask mom. He faded more. Not because of the question, he did not address it yet. He told me he was scared. He could feel himself, draining, fading away. He spoke in fear of “El chayo” “the sucker” was removing his energy, him, sucking him away, day by day, he is fading. I asked thinking about heaven or departing. He was full of fear. No being consumed. El chayo. Every day, sucks more of him away. So horrible. I have to do something. What can I do? Where is he whats happening. I was frantic. I followed the spirits advice. I looked for a man who spoke of things from my past, that I had been shown. Nagual Lone Wolf. When 11/11/11 approached, and he died, I held his spirit high, not low. When my darkness came, I did not allow myself to be taken like him, when I collapsed and died the emts came a month or so ago...more like 2 now. I did what i was asked, what I needed to do. Why is he fading? Why is this so? I love him so much.
I questioned him again and it wasnt him. It was like a switch. Was another, different voice. He told me things, about my question,about Carlos. Wasn’t that interesting and wasn’t really my point and who believes dreams lol. It was kinda again I did not wake all the way here is what I wrote. dreams cant be seen. El Chayo...the sucking man. CC was worship of “earth entity” “Carthaginian” (tenet/matus eagle?) Thick soles. Feet. Earth. Mud. Cant read my next notes. Nyage? Perry? Mesa.>> his was more like not my father so I let it fade. End of Los Angeles dream.
Again it is now days. My e cig is banned, but I have an elaborate device like a nook can draw vapor from. And many many batteries, functions. Intricate like the machine. A notepad. I am exploring its functionality. Thankful someone got it for me and now I am finally using it. White eucalyptus flavored vapor but nice. And many many other hidden functions.
I go and find a child. He had a cleft lip that was operate don, and his nose is disfigured, so he stays at home is home schooled by his mother. He is brilliant and nice kid. We talk about games and stuff. He shows me how hes hacked a big company, to make sure games go OK. I own 25% of that company, but I don’t tell him. Hes a kid that lives alone so hes enthusiastic about what he can do showing me. I suggest he should probably tell the owners what he did, but hes a good kid im sure it will be OK, maybe he can help run it. He doesn’t know but hes thinking about it. He hides away and his mom protects him because people are assholes. I share a meal with them. Its cereal, and chocolate milk, pizza and chocolate pudding. His favorite things. His mother loves him very much. So we eat. Check on the other owners, they are trying to trace his latest hack. I tell them its OK, I got it covered its not an attack so they stop. Even if the kid is too scared, I can cover for him. I like him, I wish he were my son.
Final dream is long like the first, but im out of juice for writing. So shorter version. I was in a city. The past, but in the future. I had 1,000 pieces of gold, coins. I must have been wealthy, because this place was not. I was depositing them? I was like a teenager or young adult. The man I left them with, asked me to deliver a package. Seemed like the correct thing something I did normally, so I agreed. My tunic was kind of fancy, and I had the nicest horse to ride. I found the man I was to deliver to. It was strange thing, in strange writing, a packet of paper. The man seemed more human then human, perfect, like dirt did not settle on him. He must have seen my curiosity. He showed me the paper was orders/transit/pass port. On it were clipped ten credit notes. He said...ahh you delivered it, then you are one who can afford these. 100 gold pieces became ten credit notes. Paper money. He let me follow on my horse, or maybe I gave him a ride. He took me outside. A spaceport? Wait machines can fly? Of course how did I know spaceport. He got sown and was smiling at me. I got down from horse too. He said, or I felt “this is a true Roman” He was from space. Pluto? Pluto was where they lived. At the edge. The colony under a crystal dome. Ahh...the first dream. Wait when did I sleep to dream, in the dream i was confused. But I was separated into at least two levels of awareness again so bare with me. “the true Romans live, at the edge of space, the first ones, and the guardians of the children, but also of life and reality. I can go too. Have a ship. I have more then enough. For ten credits. He waved and boarded a ship. A spaceport? No one knows? The kings must know...its right here by the city. But how come people don’t know? Confused like that. So I think id like to take one of the ships. But the man left with others, so I need to find others. I find a few friends. I check with the money keeper. Yes yes can convert it to credits. In just riding my horse, running a hand over my sword hilt from a scabbard. Daydreaming. About space. And flying. And other worlds. And seeing all the poverty here. Why? Why? No answer. Just the horses gallop, and the feeling of metal hilt in my hand. Thats enough. Wheew am I tired. I didn’t wake till 4pm. After the energy thing in the first dream, well I was really tired after that. But a good restful tired. Good thing I live with family someone checked don me woke me. I still might be asleep.