03-23-2011, 12:01 AM
I see nothing wrong with talking to others from your heart. NL mentions maintaining a connection to spirit, other people often sense and feel that and want what I have so I share. I don't have a problem with that.
I think that there is a way to be your true self with your MIL and get through the experience. I do not think that it requires that you be an invented self. I get that you haven't found that way yet, but I suspect that your life will be much the better for it when you do.
I think what gets turned around here, and perhaps why everyone is so hard pressed to examine their actual experiences in terms of how they apply, is that members here talk like they have some authority on the subject, when it seems that everyone is struggling just as much as I am to understand what did CC really mean. The difference is, I am not pretending to know...I know I don't know.
I think whoever that person was and whatever they did, you say created false people, showed you a way to be with your MIL and that it helped you. I just think that there is a better way, one that does not require you to be fake. I think you hit on it when you stated that you stopped caring whether she liked you or not. The next question to ask yourself, is what is it that you would really like to leave her with? And I don't mean a piece of your mind, I mean in the lovingness of your heart, what is the one thing that you would like to leave her? Perhaps if you can answer that for yourself and have that answer in your mind, your next visit with your MIL might be more satisfying. While I know you make it out of there now without being hurt, my guess is that it is not a very satisfying expereince.
I think that there is a way to be your true self with your MIL and get through the experience. I do not think that it requires that you be an invented self. I get that you haven't found that way yet, but I suspect that your life will be much the better for it when you do.
I think what gets turned around here, and perhaps why everyone is so hard pressed to examine their actual experiences in terms of how they apply, is that members here talk like they have some authority on the subject, when it seems that everyone is struggling just as much as I am to understand what did CC really mean. The difference is, I am not pretending to know...I know I don't know.
I think whoever that person was and whatever they did, you say created false people, showed you a way to be with your MIL and that it helped you. I just think that there is a better way, one that does not require you to be fake. I think you hit on it when you stated that you stopped caring whether she liked you or not. The next question to ask yourself, is what is it that you would really like to leave her with? And I don't mean a piece of your mind, I mean in the lovingness of your heart, what is the one thing that you would like to leave her? Perhaps if you can answer that for yourself and have that answer in your mind, your next visit with your MIL might be more satisfying. While I know you make it out of there now without being hurt, my guess is that it is not a very satisfying expereince.