11-13-2010, 12:00 AM
Ok, it was April 18...here are some of the things you said:
Men seem to have a bee in their bonnets about social 'position'....
So the awareness of egos at work. Its happening right now mostly as a result of having so many men around me, my own guys I am spending more time with than usual and my wealthy client who I am looking at closely too. And {} of course, the luvvie. Yesterday {} and I arranged to have brunch this morning and said our goodbyes, I was then having coffee with the clients family, and {} came to the door to say goodbye again, and had to make a point of saying loudly, that he would see me for brunch today. Now that looks on the surface to be nothing, and I don't have any problem with him saying that at all, but the motive - I saw the ego at work behind it - I suspect that after a day of being seen and treated by the client as a labourer, he felt it necessary to let them all know his status with me as a close friend.
That stuff seems compulsive in guys, the status, positioning thing. I see it with my wealthy client all the time, his need to show that he knows more than anyone else and be in complete control of everything...Turin, it amazes me you proceed now as if sexism is something so far from your awareness. At least you may have said...yes, I used to think that way but now I don't...but you didn't say this.
These things are real, I am not making them up. I just feel I am having a hard time with others owning up to it.
Since this blog is already on the internet I felt it was not to your objection to put here. I remember I responded to you at the time...becasue you emailed it to me with the note "feel free to stalk my ego!!!"
My response:
"I
saw nothing to stalk in what you said Seemed just like your were
expressing how you felt. It seemed to me this was your intuitive
assessments on various things, and probably a lot of truth to it
regarding the relationship dynamics you describe.
When you say you stalk your ego, I take it just to mean you gather
meaning from analysis of motives within circumstances to gauge where you
are at and thus help determine where you want to go next on a personal
insight level."
And I still agree...I think you were having some insights at the time that were valid for men to hear. Do I seek to change all men? No, only those who want change.
Men seem to have a bee in their bonnets about social 'position'....
So the awareness of egos at work. Its happening right now mostly as a result of having so many men around me, my own guys I am spending more time with than usual and my wealthy client who I am looking at closely too. And {} of course, the luvvie. Yesterday {} and I arranged to have brunch this morning and said our goodbyes, I was then having coffee with the clients family, and {} came to the door to say goodbye again, and had to make a point of saying loudly, that he would see me for brunch today. Now that looks on the surface to be nothing, and I don't have any problem with him saying that at all, but the motive - I saw the ego at work behind it - I suspect that after a day of being seen and treated by the client as a labourer, he felt it necessary to let them all know his status with me as a close friend.
That stuff seems compulsive in guys, the status, positioning thing. I see it with my wealthy client all the time, his need to show that he knows more than anyone else and be in complete control of everything...Turin, it amazes me you proceed now as if sexism is something so far from your awareness. At least you may have said...yes, I used to think that way but now I don't...but you didn't say this.
These things are real, I am not making them up. I just feel I am having a hard time with others owning up to it.
Since this blog is already on the internet I felt it was not to your objection to put here. I remember I responded to you at the time...becasue you emailed it to me with the note "feel free to stalk my ego!!!"
My response:
"I
saw nothing to stalk in what you said Seemed just like your were
expressing how you felt. It seemed to me this was your intuitive
assessments on various things, and probably a lot of truth to it
regarding the relationship dynamics you describe.
When you say you stalk your ego, I take it just to mean you gather
meaning from analysis of motives within circumstances to gauge where you
are at and thus help determine where you want to go next on a personal
insight level."
And I still agree...I think you were having some insights at the time that were valid for men to hear. Do I seek to change all men? No, only those who want change.