11-13-2010, 12:00 AM
That example above from the blog, is a male to male trip. The guy wanted my wealthy client to know that he was more than just my employee by mentioning in front of him that we were going to have lunch.
There's no sexism there in this example. Just one ego (my employee) feeling threatened in the presence of another big ego (my clients) and needing to strut a bit. I have seen women do this ego strutt too, I have seen myself do this !! Men do have a vulnerability to it though perhaps due to conditioning, biology, i dont know. Here I am talking gender isues, just what I wanted to avoid arghhhhhh!!! Best not to inflame this vulnerability in men is my approach, there's a way through it, and that requires some gentleness. And that goes for women too...But there is a time for confronting...
Yes like people do strutt their stuff here in the forum, men and women. "his need to show that he knows more than anyone else..." you could replace 'his' and 'he' with 'her' and 'she' and it would have the same validity. Im not the only one who has noticed that YOU strutt your stuff here Tiffany big fat ego an' all! and with quite show offy energy at times, quite aggressive a feeling too. You often come from an 'I KNOW' place. I kinda like it, its fiery and spirited. But its no wonder that you see this in others, after all, what we see is what we are But Id like to say that you are missing out on a lot by taking this confrontational stance, it sets the tone of any interaction, and people dont open up easily if the feeling isnt accepting. Rather it sets an argumentative tone....
I witnessed a most beautiful openness in a discussion yesterday on chat between Gonzo, Affinity and Self Healed Madman about some deeply personal matters, right into the most trusting confiding of their inner thoughts and feelings. Not an ego in sight. Just pure sharing and mutual learning. I have a sense that you maybe underestimate what you have found here.
There's no sexism there in this example. Just one ego (my employee) feeling threatened in the presence of another big ego (my clients) and needing to strut a bit. I have seen women do this ego strutt too, I have seen myself do this !! Men do have a vulnerability to it though perhaps due to conditioning, biology, i dont know. Here I am talking gender isues, just what I wanted to avoid arghhhhhh!!! Best not to inflame this vulnerability in men is my approach, there's a way through it, and that requires some gentleness. And that goes for women too...But there is a time for confronting...
Yes like people do strutt their stuff here in the forum, men and women. "his need to show that he knows more than anyone else..." you could replace 'his' and 'he' with 'her' and 'she' and it would have the same validity. Im not the only one who has noticed that YOU strutt your stuff here Tiffany big fat ego an' all! and with quite show offy energy at times, quite aggressive a feeling too. You often come from an 'I KNOW' place. I kinda like it, its fiery and spirited. But its no wonder that you see this in others, after all, what we see is what we are But Id like to say that you are missing out on a lot by taking this confrontational stance, it sets the tone of any interaction, and people dont open up easily if the feeling isnt accepting. Rather it sets an argumentative tone....
I witnessed a most beautiful openness in a discussion yesterday on chat between Gonzo, Affinity and Self Healed Madman about some deeply personal matters, right into the most trusting confiding of their inner thoughts and feelings. Not an ego in sight. Just pure sharing and mutual learning. I have a sense that you maybe underestimate what you have found here.