10-26-2010, 12:00 AM
I was over at a close friends house the other day and I voiced a criticism of someone we know, (I did this unconsciously) she had then joined in. While I was listening to her I realised that I had started a feeding frenzy and the energy was feeling bad in my heart, negative, and I abruptly said 'let's change the subject'. She then stood up and very assertively asked why I keep doing this, she said Id done it several times recently.
In that second I knew she was right. The spotlight was on me, something felt exposed. I acknowledged she was right, and left knowing I had something to look at. I went to the car with my friend Mark, and asked him what he thought, He said I do it to him too. So we had a good look at what I was actually doing. I make a criticism, unconsciously or at least semi-consciously....other people join in and I then feel the negativity of it and it feels uncomfortable and then I put a stop to it. The other person understandably feels a bit cut off. I phone my friend later to thank her for showing me something valuable.
So thanks to that friend being a valuable reference point, and making me aware I don't think I will find myself having a sneaky little go at someone else quite so easily.
What is that motivation to criticise another? the urge to buy our own innocence at the price of their guilt? buy our superiority at the expense of their inferiority......
In that second I knew she was right. The spotlight was on me, something felt exposed. I acknowledged she was right, and left knowing I had something to look at. I went to the car with my friend Mark, and asked him what he thought, He said I do it to him too. So we had a good look at what I was actually doing. I make a criticism, unconsciously or at least semi-consciously....other people join in and I then feel the negativity of it and it feels uncomfortable and then I put a stop to it. The other person understandably feels a bit cut off. I phone my friend later to thank her for showing me something valuable.
So thanks to that friend being a valuable reference point, and making me aware I don't think I will find myself having a sneaky little go at someone else quite so easily.
What is that motivation to criticise another? the urge to buy our own innocence at the price of their guilt? buy our superiority at the expense of their inferiority......