04-24-2010, 12:00 AM
dreamgirl wrote:
I used to think that I was not competitive, being female this was reinforced by society, and I used to take pride in my abbilities of letting others win/go first, ect.. I was smug about how probably through meditation practice, I did not get all bunged up about things not going my way - Taoist beliefs I believed supported me in my lassitude. This of course is due to misinterpretation on my part.
Now, funny thing, I just entered marriage counselling with my husband - and guess what surfaced in me, yeah, you guessed it, competitiveness - I was shocked at how many times my inner dialog was having a celebration, thinking things like "ha, I won", "score", "ooh, I win again", "ha, I NEW I was right". So all this time I have been competitive, yet it was all about "feelings" - a realm I am all to familar with, and I just realized why I always had long term relationships with men whose feeling function was undeveloped or never used - BECAUSE I COULD TOTALLY DOMINATE THERE!Amazing, isn't it?
I used to think that I was not competitive, being female this was reinforced by society, and I used to take pride in my abbilities of letting others win/go first, ect.. I was smug about how probably through meditation practice, I did not get all bunged up about things not going my way - Taoist beliefs I believed supported me in my lassitude. This of course is due to misinterpretation on my part.
Now, funny thing, I just entered marriage counselling with my husband - and guess what surfaced in me, yeah, you guessed it, competitiveness - I was shocked at how many times my inner dialog was having a celebration, thinking things like "ha, I won", "score", "ooh, I win again", "ha, I NEW I was right". So all this time I have been competitive, yet it was all about "feelings" - a realm I am all to familar with, and I just realized why I always had long term relationships with men whose feeling function was undeveloped or never used - BECAUSE I COULD TOTALLY DOMINATE THERE!Amazing, isn't it?