06-25-2017, 12:00 AM
You kinda lost me.
No worries, though. All above is enough to dive back into it, daily. For now, all I know is just go back and recapitulate life's experiences again (hopefully honing in on the pivotal ones, for efficiency's sake)....more deeply this time to uncover what was not touched upon with the first pass. Sexual experiences are obviously pivotal, so that's in. All emotionally charged moments....obviously in as well.
The intent to renew the excavation should guide the shovel from there, I trust.
In terms of omens....interesting moment a couple hours ago.
I'm sitting at work, charting on patients seen here in the ER. Sometimes there's a few moments down time, here and there. At this point, sometimes I just gaze silently at a blank part of computer screen and allow my AP to shift.... This time, though, I silently went back to recapitulate the torment of waiting, as a child, for my dad to get home and beat me for something I had done wrong. It was agony....waiting for that moment of climax of pain and frustration when he would take me aside and start doling out the blows. I'm just sitting, silently gazing at the blank computer screen, constructing the scene in my mind's/dreaming eye...and breathing back and forth with nearly imperceptible movements of my head. The instant I began breathing to recap the scene, the patient in a room right next to me suddenly and without warning sat up and began violently and spectacularly throwing up huge gouts of vomit. Came out of the blue. He was quiet and sleeping all morning...and then suddenly started throwing up. I stopped when he started....and then, just as suddenly, he stopped and its been quiet ever since.
Weird
No worries, though. All above is enough to dive back into it, daily. For now, all I know is just go back and recapitulate life's experiences again (hopefully honing in on the pivotal ones, for efficiency's sake)....more deeply this time to uncover what was not touched upon with the first pass. Sexual experiences are obviously pivotal, so that's in. All emotionally charged moments....obviously in as well.
The intent to renew the excavation should guide the shovel from there, I trust.
In terms of omens....interesting moment a couple hours ago.
I'm sitting at work, charting on patients seen here in the ER. Sometimes there's a few moments down time, here and there. At this point, sometimes I just gaze silently at a blank part of computer screen and allow my AP to shift.... This time, though, I silently went back to recapitulate the torment of waiting, as a child, for my dad to get home and beat me for something I had done wrong. It was agony....waiting for that moment of climax of pain and frustration when he would take me aside and start doling out the blows. I'm just sitting, silently gazing at the blank computer screen, constructing the scene in my mind's/dreaming eye...and breathing back and forth with nearly imperceptible movements of my head. The instant I began breathing to recap the scene, the patient in a room right next to me suddenly and without warning sat up and began violently and spectacularly throwing up huge gouts of vomit. Came out of the blue. He was quiet and sleeping all morning...and then suddenly started throwing up. I stopped when he started....and then, just as suddenly, he stopped and its been quiet ever since.
Weird