What is recapitulation and how to do it...

[glance left]

So, for me.....the scene of trauma is brought up for review. The intent, for me, is to embody it as much as I can.....relive it, in essence. From what I understand, this capacity becomes more and more fine tuned as the practitioner continues to practice. Intent to feel everything that was felt amidst the worst of those moment.....the fear....the pain.....the anger/frustration......the nauseating flickering disruption in the body and the dialog as its whipped into a frenzy....the panic and desperation to be anywhere but where I was in those moments. And then, to breath into those horrifying moments the intent to accept them/embrace them to the extent that there's no reflexive recoiling of my energy fibers (as much as I can) while in those moments. To stay innocent as the moment passes through so that things remain open and clear when the moment is gone. Interesting insights come pouring in during recovery of those moments. Silent knowledge....indicators as to what should have been done to optimize those moments....perhaps to have avoided them in the first place. But the main thing is the open, aware acceptance of what cannot be avoided.

So, as Rosy says, the intent to practice unraveling....those moments where I coiled down over and over again years ago....and those moments where the tendency to recurrent coiling happens from day to day/moment to moment. To practice for the great unraveling, I guess, in the end.

My issue is, now....stability in recapitulation. For me, the moments recovered can be super clear...intense...but only stay in view for a few seconds before the dreaming eye moves off to something else. Its either really efficient....or its just restless....or perhaps fear won't let me go much deeper at any given go. Hard to say, but it hardly matters. Key is persistence.