01-31-2014, 12:00 AM
For me the most important thing is how the teachings are used in my life, I will now tell you my exact challenge as I see it.
Natascha is a friend who I met a few months ago. She used to date the instructor at a movement class I attend. A long time ago I had completely forgotten about sex, it was just something I did not think about, I was very dedicated to being a Warrior although sex up until recently has become an overwhelming part of my experiences again.
Natascha has a daughter who is at university and a son who is 14 and living at home, the father died many years ago. Natascha had asked if I wanted to move in and teach Jake her son more about music since he plays drums and also produces dance music. I had been looking after the cat while jake and Natascha were away and got to like the house, there is an open fire and Natascha likes to meditate and is a spiritual person, also since I am living with my Dad at the moment in the childhood house I desperately do not like.
I see very clearly that Jake needs a father figure because now he is 14 I think he needs to toughen up a bit! but please do not disagree with me on this point because I am aware that this is just my point of view and I believe I am merely seeing the kind of exchange I would through folly have with Jake. I feel as though I am being offered the role of being Jakes Father figure in exchange for a nice place to live away from my depressing childhood home ( I did not have a fun childhood)
Just to make things more complicated a week ago or so I was meeting a friend for birthday drinks and took Natascha and jake with me. It was open mic night so i got drunk and played some songs. Natascha is 43 and I am 32, I had thought that she was sexy and is a cool person but I had forgotten that alcohol always gives that extra boost in bringing your hidden agendas to the surface and that night
I had sex with Natascha!
I am confused because it would be simple for me to fill this father role to jake, my state of awareness is also in tune with Natascha because at this stage she really needs a bit of taking care of as she is the typical does everything for her kids mother. On the other hand I feel like this course of action just seems overtly convenient to all concerned, it seems like an easy way out, a way of side stepping my problems and taking on someone elses instead.
There is more to this story as it involves the last 6 years also so this is just a snap shot. I am wondering if you all might wonder why am telling you this? For me being a Warrior means appli#ying the teachings to my life.
Natascha is a friend who I met a few months ago. She used to date the instructor at a movement class I attend. A long time ago I had completely forgotten about sex, it was just something I did not think about, I was very dedicated to being a Warrior although sex up until recently has become an overwhelming part of my experiences again.
Natascha has a daughter who is at university and a son who is 14 and living at home, the father died many years ago. Natascha had asked if I wanted to move in and teach Jake her son more about music since he plays drums and also produces dance music. I had been looking after the cat while jake and Natascha were away and got to like the house, there is an open fire and Natascha likes to meditate and is a spiritual person, also since I am living with my Dad at the moment in the childhood house I desperately do not like.
I see very clearly that Jake needs a father figure because now he is 14 I think he needs to toughen up a bit! but please do not disagree with me on this point because I am aware that this is just my point of view and I believe I am merely seeing the kind of exchange I would through folly have with Jake. I feel as though I am being offered the role of being Jakes Father figure in exchange for a nice place to live away from my depressing childhood home ( I did not have a fun childhood)
Just to make things more complicated a week ago or so I was meeting a friend for birthday drinks and took Natascha and jake with me. It was open mic night so i got drunk and played some songs. Natascha is 43 and I am 32, I had thought that she was sexy and is a cool person but I had forgotten that alcohol always gives that extra boost in bringing your hidden agendas to the surface and that night
I had sex with Natascha!
I am confused because it would be simple for me to fill this father role to jake, my state of awareness is also in tune with Natascha because at this stage she really needs a bit of taking care of as she is the typical does everything for her kids mother. On the other hand I feel like this course of action just seems overtly convenient to all concerned, it seems like an easy way out, a way of side stepping my problems and taking on someone elses instead.
There is more to this story as it involves the last 6 years also so this is just a snap shot. I am wondering if you all might wonder why am telling you this? For me being a Warrior means appli#ying the teachings to my life.