07-30-2009, 12:00 AM
Ok I hope this does not come across too weird but I am having a lot of ups and downs lately and i don't like it.
Maybe I have issues about my past Loves and still blaming the world and my parents for my shortcomings!
People have said to me " wow you have allot of talent "you are so gifted" "If i had that talent i would be doing this" good grief blah
blah blah!
The truth is my fellow warriors this has no meaning for me: to be adored-to be admired-to be envied sometimes even to be loved and that is the part that scares
me the most.
About the Love part in my life so far there is always someone else to come around when one relationship is over and because I know this as truth, it seems to
make me not wanna commit fully.
I love sex and I like the companionship of a Girl partner in my life. But it's as if i don't even care if I loose them.
Maybe I have acquired some type of Nagualness and I dont even know it?
Maybe I know we are all GONNA DIE and everything seems to make me feel detached and kinda withdrawn?
People make me tired or rather I let them make me feel tired.
It's as if the system that much of the world works under seems to make me feel freaked. Acquiring things- making money- gotta get paid-I don't teach
for free.
blah blah blah! Really and truly I hate money it makes the world sick and lately it is making me feel sick
Maybe I just need to move away from here-screw my predictable comforts they are not real anyways. I do realize this post is all over the map and kinda negative
but i just need to get some feedback on my bullshit cuz really in the end all my petty worries are bullshit anyway. thanks
Maybe I have issues about my past Loves and still blaming the world and my parents for my shortcomings!
People have said to me " wow you have allot of talent "you are so gifted" "If i had that talent i would be doing this" good grief blah
blah blah!
The truth is my fellow warriors this has no meaning for me: to be adored-to be admired-to be envied sometimes even to be loved and that is the part that scares
me the most.
About the Love part in my life so far there is always someone else to come around when one relationship is over and because I know this as truth, it seems to
make me not wanna commit fully.
I love sex and I like the companionship of a Girl partner in my life. But it's as if i don't even care if I loose them.
Maybe I have acquired some type of Nagualness and I dont even know it?
Maybe I know we are all GONNA DIE and everything seems to make me feel detached and kinda withdrawn?
People make me tired or rather I let them make me feel tired.
It's as if the system that much of the world works under seems to make me feel freaked. Acquiring things- making money- gotta get paid-I don't teach
for free.
blah blah blah! Really and truly I hate money it makes the world sick and lately it is making me feel sick
Maybe I just need to move away from here-screw my predictable comforts they are not real anyways. I do realize this post is all over the map and kinda negative
but i just need to get some feedback on my bullshit cuz really in the end all my petty worries are bullshit anyway. thanks