05-24-2011, 12:00 AM
Not that it matters...but I am the kind of person somewhat attracted to morbidity..not my own but in others...it is an investigative attraction and I think it is because I simply want to understand all I can about man's greatest unknown and fear...called "death."I actually have been too. I was drawn to Edgar Allan Poe at a young age, and also horror movies, ghost stories. I liked to seek out that fear. Of course when I found it I was like "okay, now what do I do?" but something in me wants to see the shadow rather then look the other way, but it can be difficult too. For the shadow is us, we are the shadow. What does that mean to me as I say it? It means that fear can grip us at a most unbearable level, one that makes one want to just run and run and run. Deny the sight, deny the feeling. This only delays the inevitable. Death is us and we must face it. Duncan Dounuts, or whatever one's poison, won't save us.
There was a man we would say hello to every time we passed by this restaurant we go to here. He was so friendly, a feeble looking man, so sweet and humble. Poor. He had a cart full of goods...cigarettes, cards, nuts, crackers, all virtually useless junk that he sold, which made him seem even more feeble. But he was so nice and he always tried to give us free stuff and we always tried to over pay him. He'd give us snacks, most of which we didn't like but would take them gladly, and we would buy him some food from the restaurant which he would take gladly and not sure if he wanted it either.
Well, last few times I have passed that way, his cart is not there. I wonder what happened to him. I don't know for sure. I would like to think they just shooed him away because he was a cart salesman and they are trying to modernize and bring in fancy shops so chasing the little man out. But I know this can't be so because there are still other cart people around, only his is gone. So I think its possible he died. He didn't seem like the type to retire. In fact I felt he did that cart thing just to keep busy.
Truth is, he could have had a number of things happen to him. But what I should ask myself, which I do is, why do I need an explanation? Why is it I prefer it be anything besides death, when I know death is inevitable? What difference does it make if he dies today or next year, he is going to die. He is as good as dead. We all are.
The key to death is being able to face it without falling into morbidity or running away from it. To do this one has to stand on that precipice and test themselves.
There was a man we would say hello to every time we passed by this restaurant we go to here. He was so friendly, a feeble looking man, so sweet and humble. Poor. He had a cart full of goods...cigarettes, cards, nuts, crackers, all virtually useless junk that he sold, which made him seem even more feeble. But he was so nice and he always tried to give us free stuff and we always tried to over pay him. He'd give us snacks, most of which we didn't like but would take them gladly, and we would buy him some food from the restaurant which he would take gladly and not sure if he wanted it either.
Well, last few times I have passed that way, his cart is not there. I wonder what happened to him. I don't know for sure. I would like to think they just shooed him away because he was a cart salesman and they are trying to modernize and bring in fancy shops so chasing the little man out. But I know this can't be so because there are still other cart people around, only his is gone. So I think its possible he died. He didn't seem like the type to retire. In fact I felt he did that cart thing just to keep busy.
Truth is, he could have had a number of things happen to him. But what I should ask myself, which I do is, why do I need an explanation? Why is it I prefer it be anything besides death, when I know death is inevitable? What difference does it make if he dies today or next year, he is going to die. He is as good as dead. We all are.
The key to death is being able to face it without falling into morbidity or running away from it. To do this one has to stand on that precipice and test themselves.